Disposable people

Ironlady70

I may be old fashioned or naive, but when someone takes the time to get to know you then poof for no reason they disappear, does that make you feel worthless and disposable ?

Taz6o5

That is a chance you take when you open up to people.

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Ironlady70

I’d like to hope so. 😞

Mob_4_ever

Believe in yourself, when people disappear it don’t mean it’s related to you! The good ones will stay

RunsWithBees

Ironlady70 wrote: »

I may be old fashioned or naive, but when someone takes the time to get to know you then poof for no reason they disappear, does that make you feel worthless and disposable ?

Is it for no reason or just that they don’t tell you the real reason? I think it’s the “not knowing” part that is the most difficult to deal with. Sometimes you just have to choose to move on without ever really knowing

BrandNewMan1970

I usually don’t worry about those things. Like above, believe in you. Love the hell out yourself

wanderingarcher

Yeah. I feel like that when that happens. 😔 I think Sara is right, but I still feel horrible.

kam26001

I'm social up to a certain point. I value my solitude as well. So sometimes I have to poof new people I meet if I feel like they're gonna be the type to call me on my house phone 2-3 times a week asking the horrifying question of "whatcha doin?" Not saying that was you but some people be like that. They call you right when you sit down to eat and you start blaming yourself for not poofing them when you had the chance.

Ironlady70

I’ve been the one that was contacted multiple times and my empathetic self always replied and never make people wait no matter how inconvenient the timing.

Mob_4_ever

You never know up front, just be the best version of yourself and reply if you want. But don’t let it harm you if they stop answering .. just keep happy and talk to the people who are supportive ..!

kbmnurse1

Worthless. NEVER.

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newmeadow

Best thing to do is to keep the vast majority of your conversations on the open threads where people can come and go as they please. That's what attracts so many people to these online discussion communities = coming, going, coming back again, going again and not having to answer to anyone. As it should be, in my opinion.

Gabrielpearl1830

Don't expect so much from people. Don't think you deserve more than they can offer. Too much expectation is a problem. You're not worthless, you just expected too much more than they can offer

Ironlady70

Case in point happened with a poster here on this thread. Mob_4_ever friended after this post, messaged supportively and poof disappeared. Remember folks there are humans at the other of the key board.

Mob_4_ever wrote: »

You never know up front, just be the best version of yourself and reply if you want. But don’t let it harm you if they stop answering .. just keep happy and talk to the people who are supportive ..!

wanderingarcher

Trying to formulate some thoughts on this topic, but I keep running into my own hypocrisy. 😬

shaf238

Their loss as far as I'm concerned.

RhiAnLewis17

Makes me feel like I've wasted time investing in cultivating a relationship with someone. But I guess it's hard to know what's going on for that person. I suppose it's difficult not to take it personally. So yes, I would feel worthless and confused and I would seek resolution.

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jjpptt2

I'm guessing there is some backstory/context here that I'm missing... I'm also not much of a people person, so take this with a grain of salt.

Not everyone is going to like you. And sometimes it takes getting to know you to realize they don't like you. If it was an online interaction, it probably wasn't "real" to begin with. Also, stuff happens, people have lives... maybe they are just busy or distracted or locked out of an account or... or... or...

newmeadow

Ah, the guy's name was Mob_4_ever. It's not like you would have invited him over for tea and watercress sandwiches. I hope.

One time someone named Remeron_for_the_win wanted to give me emotional support over the computer screen. I should have known.

Ironlady70

RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »

Makes me feel like I've wasted time investing in cultivating a relationship with someone. But I guess it's hard to know what's going on for that person. I suppose it's difficult not to take it personally. So yes, I would feel worthless and confused and I would seek resolution.

This ....

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jjpptt2

Is the lack of resolution the issue? I can understand that, even if I am a master vanisher.

RhiAnLewis17

jjpptt2 wrote: »

Is the lack of resolution the issue? I can understand that, even if I am a master vanisher.

Where did you go?

jjpptt2

RhiAnLewis17 wrote: »

jjpptt2 wrote: »

Is the lack of resolution the issue? I can understand that, even if I am a master vanisher.

Where did you go?

A magician never reveals his secrets...