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Ok or not Ok

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Replies

  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    dallsop417 wrote: »
    epangili wrote: »
    dallsop417 wrote: »
    That sounds interesting. It’s the type of thing I like doing as well sometimes.

    So..........a couple of weeks ago I met some random in a bar. As I do with all randoms that show interest, I said I am not looking or wanting a relationship with anyone. We got on ok and came back to my house for the night/morning and had “fun”. We have been out together a few times since and even cooked dinner on my yacht but the random seems to be getting too attached. Lots of texts and if I don’t reply to texts within an hour, because I’m busy, i get phone calls instead. Random seems a bit vulnerable with a need to be in a relationship and seems like random gets depressed when rejected, which I think is also being used to try and guilt trip me. Told random last night that we won’t be having extra “fun” anymore because of all those reasons. So.........is it ok to still be friends or to stop contact completely?

    Not ok. You see she's getting attached. It will be mixed messages if you say no more "fun" but then try to continue contact....she'll read into it. And you call her random...doesnt sound like a friend...so cut contact.

    I agree, clean break for her sake. "Fun" isn't the same on the emotional level for women. Granted all women are different but it's rare if intense emotions are not involved. Plus SEX a real spiritual connection - soul tie that takes place in the invisible realm. Granted, you forewarned her but deep down who can resist hoping for true "love". I'm so glad I'm not in thay dating world anymore!!!

    I didn’t say it was a woman, 😂. And pilots of woman have sex as a one night stand without wanting a relationship. My concern is if I break it off completely then that’s more of a rejection but if purely friends then I’m not sure they are able to handle that without wanting more so lots of small rejections. Hard to decide what way will be best to limit the pain for them. I think I should start being annoying when I go out so I don’t keep getting hit on 😂

    I don't know why, but I also wondered if your "random" was a girl or a guy. Either way, I think it's really dehumanizing to refer to anyone as a "random". Would you feel good if someone called you that? Maybe I'm just old....
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    dallsop417 wrote: »
    epangili wrote: »
    dallsop417 wrote: »
    That sounds interesting. It’s the type of thing I like doing as well sometimes.

    So..........a couple of weeks ago I met some random in a bar. As I do with all randoms that show interest, I said I am not looking or wanting a relationship with anyone. We got on ok and came back to my house for the night/morning and had “fun”. We have been out together a few times since and even cooked dinner on my yacht but the random seems to be getting too attached. Lots of texts and if I don’t reply to texts within an hour, because I’m busy, i get phone calls instead. Random seems a bit vulnerable with a need to be in a relationship and seems like random gets depressed when rejected, which I think is also being used to try and guilt trip me. Told random last night that we won’t be having extra “fun” anymore because of all those reasons. So.........is it ok to still be friends or to stop contact completely?

    Not ok. You see she's getting attached. It will be mixed messages if you say no more "fun" but then try to continue contact....she'll read into it. And you call her random...doesnt sound like a friend...so cut contact.

    I agree, clean break for her sake. "Fun" isn't the same on the emotional level for women. Granted all women are different but it's rare if intense emotions are not involved. Plus SEX a real spiritual connection - soul tie that takes place in the invisible realm. Granted, you forewarned her but deep down who can resist hoping for true "love". I'm so glad I'm not in thay dating world anymore!!!

    I didn’t say it was a woman, 😂. And pilots of woman have sex as a one night stand without wanting a relationship. My concern is if I break it off completely then that’s more of a rejection but if purely friends then I’m not sure they are able to handle that without wanting more so lots of small rejections. Hard to decide what way will be best to limit the pain for them. I think I should start being annoying when I go out so I don’t keep getting hit on 😂

    Oopsie... I don't think you can lessen the pain but I think you can either prolong or shorten t hr e endurance.

    No ok to fish

    Habitually late
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Reheating fish in the work microwave.

    So not ok and really gross!!
    Asking your co-worker to please not heat up fish at work
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Reheating fish in the work microwave.

    So not ok and really gross!!
    Asking your co-worker to please not heat up fish at work

    We've posted signs of proper microwave etiquette, yet people still do it. Smells the place up like the wharf.
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    DWBalboa wrote: »
    Reheating fish in the work microwave.

    So not ok and really gross!!
    Asking your co-worker to please not heat up fish at work

    We've posted signs of proper microwave etiquette, yet people still do it. Smells the place up like the wharf.

    I travel a lot and I can't believe what people bring onto the plane. I sat next to a guy recently who brought a gross McDonalds bag of food that smelled overwhelmingly of onions. Airlines should only allow "cold" foods.
  • dallsop417
    dallsop417 Posts: 1,031 Member
    dallsop417 wrote: »
    epangili wrote: »
    dallsop417 wrote: »
    That sounds interesting. It’s the type of thing I like doing as well sometimes.

    So..........a couple of weeks ago I met some random in a bar. As I do with all randoms that show interest, I said I am not looking or wanting a relationship with anyone. We got on ok and came back to my house for the night/morning and had “fun”. We have been out together a few times since and even cooked dinner on my yacht but the random seems to be getting too attached. Lots of texts and if I don’t reply to texts within an hour, because I’m busy, i get phone calls instead. Random seems a bit vulnerable with a need to be in a relationship and seems like random gets depressed when rejected, which I think is also being used to try and guilt trip me. Told random last night that we won’t be having extra “fun” anymore because of all those reasons. So.........is it ok to still be friends or to stop contact completely?

    Not ok. You see she's getting attached. It will be mixed messages if you say no more "fun" but then try to continue contact....she'll read into it. And you call her random...doesnt sound like a friend...so cut contact.

    I agree, clean break for her sake. "Fun" isn't the same on the emotional level for women. Granted all women are different but it's rare if intense emotions are not involved. Plus SEX a real spiritual connection - soul tie that takes place in the invisible realm. Granted, you forewarned her but deep down who can resist hoping for true "love". I'm so glad I'm not in thay dating world anymore!!!

    I didn’t say it was a woman, 😂. And pilots of woman have sex as a one night stand without wanting a relationship. My concern is if I break it off completely then that’s more of a rejection but if purely friends then I’m not sure they are able to handle that without wanting more so lots of small rejections. Hard to decide what way will be best to limit the pain for them. I think I should start being annoying when I go out so I don’t keep getting hit on 😂

    I don't know why, but I also wondered if your "random" was a girl or a guy. Either way, I think it's really dehumanizing to refer to anyone as a "random". Would you feel good if someone called you that? Maybe I'm just old....

    I don’t use the word “random” when with them. I only use it to express that I don’t really know the person and it’s someone I randomly met while out.
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    Habitually late not ok, but I've learned people who do this cannot change. They try, but they just can't so I work around it. I have a dear friend who I love and she's always late, but since it's the only thing I hate about her I tolerate it. I plan for it- if we are having dinner I make the reservation for 7pm but tell her it's for 6:30.

    Telling your dinner host that there's a bug in your food
  • dallsop417
    dallsop417 Posts: 1,031 Member
    Habitually late not ok, but I've learned people who do this cannot change. They try, but they just can't so I work around it. I have a dear friend who I love and she's always late, but since it's the only thing I hate about her I tolerate it. I plan for it- if we are having dinner I make the reservation for 7pm but tell her it's for 6:30.

    Telling your dinner host that there's a bug in your food

    Not ok really. Just move it to side of plate or discretely move it to a napkin. Or eat it as still good protein source.

    Is it ok that I keep telling friends, when out drinking, to hold their drink in left hand so their right hand isn’t too cold when they shake hands with new people they met that night.
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    I think that's ok and actually a very good tip!
    Telling people you prefer not to shake hands because you don't want to get sick
  • dallsop417
    dallsop417 Posts: 1,031 Member
    Depends on the situation.....

    Walking in the rain without an umbrella.

    It’s ok. I awkward walk in the rain without one. Normally there’s wind with rain so umbrellas get annoying when they go inside out 😂
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    Ok unless you're made of sugar- haha
    Telling someone "it's only a game" when their team loses
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Not ok, each game is important and means something to those who participate!

    Gloating that you won and they lost?
  • eryn0x
    eryn0x Posts: 138 Member
    Not ok. Stay classy.

    Commenting to an acquaintance that they have lost weight.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Ok if worded in a complimentary manner , like "Wow...You look great!!" :)

    Telling a Loved one that they should eat better?

  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    Ok if said in a loving way "honey I worry about your eating too much fast food is really bad for you"
    Writing a note (in a constructive way) to the worst waitress on the planet as to why she received zero tip
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    Ok if making a clean break and trying to set healthy boundaries

    Letting a student sit and do absolutely nothing in class after several encouragements, asked if ok, asked if they wanted to see a counselor, switched their learning partner, switched their team facilitator, and called and conferenced with parent to find solutions.
  • PAPYRUS3
    PAPYRUS3 Posts: 13,259 Member
    frustrating I know...but something needs to happen.

    Refusing to come into contact with anyone you meet (hand shaking, etc.,)?
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    Weird but ok for that person everyone else just needs to respect their personal physical boundaries

    Telling a friend that you will buy them a belt because their pants are falling off to celebrate their weight loss

  • PAPYRUS3
    PAPYRUS3 Posts: 13,259 Member
    epangili wrote: »
    Weird but ok for that person everyone else just needs to respect their personal physical boundaries

    Telling a friend that you will buy them a belt because their pants are falling off to celebrate their weight loss

    false unless you are really in on their situation regarding their losing weight
    I guess Ok as long as your polite and say oops sorry... (I mean how can you not bump someone in those lines?)

    Talking during the movie

    False - unless you are at home w/ someone who is 'into' it too...

    Not buying girl guide cookies/scout cookies when asked to do so?
  • guil0095
    guil0095 Posts: 327 Member
    Not okay!

    picking food out of your teeth at a restaurant
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    edited February 2020
    Ew... not ok unless discreet and with people who love you irregardless

    Typing false/true when on the ok or not ok thread
  • PAPYRUS3
    PAPYRUS3 Posts: 13,259 Member
    epangili wrote: »
    Ew... not ok unless discreet and with people who love you irregardless

    Typing false/true when on the ok or not ok thread

    TRUE lol! my bad...😊

    Correcting someone's grammar
  • dallsop417
    dallsop417 Posts: 1,031 Member
    Ok sometimes I guess. Depends how it’s done.

    Using made up words like irregardless. 😂
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    edited February 2020
    Ok, do it for I.F.

    Judgmental or enjoys making fun of people who confuse words because they are quatro- lingual
  • dallsop417
    dallsop417 Posts: 1,031 Member
    That’s ok and the right thing to do if seeing ex will cause a disruption to your friends party.

    So........I’m going to town shortly to get some bits I need for repair work. As it’s Tuesday, kfc has a deal on for 9 pieces of chicken bucket for £6 and I normally get 3 buckets plus 8 hotwings so will get that today while out.
    Is it ok to get a McDonald’s in town before going to kfc for all that chicken?
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    LOL well if you're that hungry and don't do this often I guess it's ok
    Telling someone you've just met who is going in for a hug "oh sorry, I'm not really a hugger"
  • epangili
    epangili Posts: 818 Member
    Ok, totally implementing healthy boundaries and they need to respect it.

    Asking someone if they could hug you and then before you could say no thanks, they did and their clothes were damp with perspiration. Yep - slimed!
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
    LOL, well obviously not ok!
    Walking out of a boring movie
  • forestfreek
    forestfreek Posts: 5,770 Member
    Ok, especially since you’re paying for it.

    Leaving your 5 year old in the car alone while you run into a store for a “sec” if you can see them from the store window...
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    hell to the no.

    Heating up fish in the microwave at work!