Bulimia. Please don't judge me, I need help.

mareeee1234

I'm a very suffer alone type of person as unhealthy as that may sound. I prefer to handle things by myself. I could NEVER tell my family, friends or my partner about this problem for many reasons. I guess I feel like now that I've recognised how serious the problem is, and want to end it, I feel that if anyone knew, it would be something that people would always be worried about or be watching out for. I don't want that. I just want to get better, by myself, and get past it.

You just quoted me I'm pretty sure. Only a few friends know.. but NO family knows about my purging, my starving, my depression that I had. Defs got through it alone and with MFP!

StrawberryThief

Telling people isn't always the best thing for everyone. Some people depend on the support, but some of us just aren't the sharing kind, and that's cool to. If you don't want to tell your friends, then don't. and if some day you think you might like to, go for it. Whatever's better for you is fine.

billsica

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

Miss_dannii

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Miss_dannii

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

I think it's really unfair of you to point that out when the OP was asking for help

lithezebra

I had similar problems in my teens. My advice is to find a good therapist, treatment program, or clinic. Eating disorders aren't something to mess around with, and you've already elected not to confide in people you know.

billsica

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

I think it's really unfair of you to point that out when the OP was asking for help

I didn't make the rules. I think the rules are unfair. I don't want the OP to be banned permanently from the site, I just wanted to point it out when I reported the post for violating TOS. It really sucks if you ask me.

StrawberryThief

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

.... seems like you'd rather nitpick than empathise. Why report it if you empathise? I suspect the no multiple account rules is in place to stop abuse, not to filter out people genuinely in need of a little help.

whatsmynameagain123

You set up a second account to not disappoint your MPF followers, that violates the TOS. That is grounds for a perma-ban.

10. Multiple Accounts Are Not Allowed

Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension is not permitted and will be grounds for a permanent ban from the site.



That being said, I am so sorry, and I empathize with you. I wish you would get a the help you need and a place you could ask these questions in anonymity. No one should have to suffer.

I think it's really unfair of you to point that out when the OP was asking for help

I didn't make the rules. I think the rules are unfair. I don't want the OP to be banned permanently from the site, I just wanted to point it out when I reported the post for violating TOS. It really sucks if you ask me.

That wasn't necessary. I'm not hurting anyone and I was only asking for advice anonymously.

Amyp7777

"Creating a second account for the purposes of deceiving other members or to work around a Forum suspension"- That was NOT the purpose of this second account. It does not violate the rules. Don't be that person.

OP, I am not educated on ED's but I do feel for you. Thank you for being so honest. I hope you get the help you need.

Bernadette60614

What helped me was Weight Watchers: joining and religiously attending the meetings.

MFP is a great service and it is, IMHO, unbeatable when it comes to tracking calories and there are a number of support groups.

But, where I really learned how to manage my emotional relationship with food was at Weight Watchers.

Everyone thinks that WW is some matronly program and ridicules it, but over the years they've added a lot on the psychological triggers of overeating and how to manage your environment and yourself to curb it.

The meetings can be hokey, and sometimes I just feel like rolling my eyes...but when you are in a room full of people who don't judge you for eating 12 donuts but who nod in understanding and then offer solutions...that is tremendous.

Another help was the book : "Why Can't I Stop Eating"? It is written by a member of Overeaters Anonymous and it is the first book I've read about binge eating disorder that made it "click" for me.

I've had it under some control for about 5 years to the point that just tracking calories here keeps me healthy and losing the last 12 lbs...but I don't think that would have worked for me had it not been for WW and the book.

GL and know that you can do this. Admitting it is the first step on the road to recovery.

(

walzllw

Wow. That sounds really gross, I feel so sorry for you. I hope you get the help from a psychologist or something.

Why would you say that when someone is asking for help?

walzllw

What helped me was Weight Watchers: joining and religiously attending the meetings.

MFP is a great service and it is, IMHO, unbeatable when it comes to tracking calories and there are a number of support groups.

But, where I really learned how to manage my emotional relationship with food was at Weight Watchers.

Everyone thinks that WW is some matronly program and ridicules it, but over the years they've added a lot on the psychological triggers of overeating and how to manage your environment and yourself to curb it.

The meetings can be hokey, and sometimes I just feel like rolling my eyes...but when you are in a room full of people who don't judge you for eating 12 donuts but who nod in understanding and then offer solutions...that is tremendous.

Another help was the book : "Why Can't I Stop Eating"? It is written by a member of Overeaters Anonymous and it is the first book I've read about binge eating disorder that made it "click" for me.

I've had it under some control for about 5 years to the point that just tracking calories here keeps me healthy and losing the last 12 lbs...but I don't think that would have worked for me had it not been for WW and the book.

GL and know that you can do this. Admitting it is the first step on the road to recovery.

I am going to read that book. Thanks for posting!

blt0087

First of all, thank you for wanting to get better. Not many people can find it in themselves to reach out and actually ask for help. What I did was instead of going to the bathroom after I ate I would immediately go outside and walk/run. The more I did that, the less I had a desire to purge after eating. Early in my recovery stages I would go for a walk for an hour or two and then come back, get bored, beat myself up, and try to throw up again..two hours later makes it a bit more difficult. I would do this everyday to the point where I just didn't want to try anymore cuz it was too much of a pain in the butt.

If you don't want to go for a walk or run, just replace it with a different form of exercise. By the time you're through with it, you'll be so proud of yourself for doing it the right way instead of risking your health to get thinner. I started making my primary focus to get healthier, not skinnier, but healthy. Once I got that into my head, it was amazing at how much I DIDN'T want to throw up. Sure every now and then I have that thought pass through my mind, but I know its extremely unhealthy and that tomorrow is a brand new day.

You already stated that you like eating healthy food, that's perfect. Just stop there. It's already good for you, you're getting the nutrients you need, now focus on burning the calories off instead of purging. I'm not saying you should go and workout for 6 hours straight and burn every calorie you ate, but try and create a deficit. I promise you, it pays off in the end. I've lost over 60lbs just watching my calorie intake and exercising. Sure it takes awhile longer, but its much more beneficial, and I actually feel healthier.

All that being said, good luck on your journey, and I really hope you can put this behind you. :flowerforyou:

I'm guessing you never heard of Exercise Bulimia. You go and work out instead of throwing up to burn the calories you just consumed. The exercise is just another form of purging. It just switches her from throwing up to working out hardcore and fasting. One step closer to Anorexia...

Yes I have, which is why I stated she shouldn't go and exercise for 6 hours to burn off every calorie she's eaten that day. The OP asked recovering people what she should do to get better..I was merely letting her know what helped me. I by no means meant to send her a step closer to anorexia.

PRMinx

Hey. I've been there. It's awful. You CAN get better though.

There are so many reasons why bulimia sucks. When I was in recovery I used to count down the list as a reminder. Hair, nails, complexion, mood swings, sore throats, bad breathe, dishonesty, losing friends, spending way too much money on food. The list goes on and on.

If you are looking for help, you are on the right path. Make your goals achievable and find someone you can trust to help keep you accountable (professional or otherwise).

healthyplans

First of all, thank you for wanting to get better. Not many people can find it in themselves to reach out and actually ask for help. What I did was instead of going to the bathroom after I ate I would immediately go outside and walk/run. The more I did that, the less I had a desire to purge after eating. Early in my recovery stages I would go for a walk for an hour or two and then come back, get bored, beat myself up, and try to throw up again..two hours later makes it a bit more difficult. I would do this everyday to the point where I just didn't want to try anymore cuz it was too much of a pain in the butt.

If you don't want to go for a walk or run, just replace it with a different form of exercise. By the time you're through with it, you'll be so proud of yourself for doing it the right way instead of risking your health to get thinner. I started making my primary focus to get healthier, not skinnier, but healthy. Once I got that into my head, it was amazing at how much I DIDN'T want to throw up. Sure every now and then I have that thought pass through my mind, but I know its extremely unhealthy and that tomorrow is a brand new day.

You already stated that you like eating healthy food, that's perfect. Just stop there. It's already good for you, you're getting the nutrients you need, now focus on burning the calories off instead of purging. I'm not saying you should go and workout for 6 hours straight and burn every calorie you ate, but try and create a deficit. I promise you, it pays off in the end. I've lost over 60lbs just watching my calorie intake and exercising. Sure it takes awhile longer, but its much more beneficial, and I actually feel healthier.

All that being said, good luck on your journey, and I really hope you can put this behind you. :flowerforyou:

soupandcookies

I am so sorry you are going through this. I've been there, and it's absolute torture. In my case, I felt like I was in a prison of my own making. I encourage you to seek professional help, as it's incredibly hard to recover on your own. Bulimia is a mental illness/disease/condition, and "snapping out of it" doesn't usually happen. Unfortunately, there is no diet that cures bulimia. Many people swear by cutting out food groups, counting points/calories, or going on some restrictive diet. In my experience, all of these things make the disease progress faster. It is definitely a progressive disease. Best to get help before it gets worse and worse. Also, I would encourage you to take a break from counting calories, if you are still doing that. MFP is great for many people, but for people with a propensity toward eating disorders, it can really fuel the disorder. Best of luck. We're here for you!

jen_zz

Highly recommend the book "Brain over Binge". The author had bulimia and she wrote about a great, realistic, quick way of recovery.

andreasoulcastle

The good news is that you are aware of the problem, many bulimics are usually in denial of the issue..so you have passed the first step and should also be proud of asking for help...I know how hard it is to ask for help in a completely vulnerable situation. The next step is to get professional help, many people think bulimia is purely a physical condition, when in fact it is the opposite- it is a pathology and needs to be treated as such by a therapist.

I wish the best of luck to you!

Drea