Parents I need your advice
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Can't add much more than what's already been said.
My wife was a stay-at-home-mom for the first 2.5 years and then I was a stay-at-home-dad for the next 2 years of our child's life. It was the greatest experience of my life - also one of the most challenging.
Enjoy the ride. It goes FAST!!!!1 -
Its been a hot minute since I have had a new born, and I did not read all the comments so I apoligize if I repeat anything anyone has said. You definitely want to have a car seat, and have it properly installed. Most Fire Departments will show you how to install it properly. The only other extremely useful advice I can give you is to sleep when the baby sleeps. It's hard AF because you feel like you need to do a million other things while you have the time, but for real, that stuff can wait, you need to sleep, and take care of you.
Congratulations, babies are wonderful.1 -
Burp cloths. SO many burp cloths.2
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Listen to your gut. And give up any expectations you might have about how things will be because that's how they are for everybody.
I never even considered the concept that I may not be able to breastfeed. And when my milk refused to come in, I was pumping / BFing / taking prescription drugs to help increase my milk around the clock... but my baby screamed for 6 weeks because I was inadvertently starving her. The doctors, nurses and I kept trying to make BFing work, but it simply wasn't, and I developed PND. It wasn't until we switched to formula that I began to enjoy my daughter.
Also, you'll have doctors, nurses and other parents telling you (often contradictory) how to do things, which makes it SO confusing for a first time parent. Listen to your gut - do what is best for your family, and you don't need to justify your choices to anyone.3 -
congratulations. wwwhopefeedsbabies.com has great blog posts.0
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Congratulations!! So happy for you both! ❤️
My parenting advice will be more useful in a year or so but keep it in your memory bank...
My advice to new parents is... “Don’t wait until your child is 2-3 years old to start correcting inappropriate behavior and establish parental expectations.” In other words, when you start noticing your child exhibiting negative behaviors, you can gently teach them what is/isn’t appropriate behavior at a very young age, even if you just start repeating phrases.
Ex: Your 18 mth old starts biting, either other children, parents, etc.
To Do: Start using phrases such as “No biting”... “Biting hurts me/our friends”... “We use our teeth to bite/eat food”... “Does your mouth hurt? Let’s find a cold toy to help it feel better” and offer them a teething toy/pain meds/etc.
It’s also important for us as parents/caregivers to recognize WHY the child is biting... the child is biting because their mouth hurts from teething and they might not be able to vocalize that to someone. A child might also bite out of frustration with another child for taking their toy— in this case, start using language to label their feelings. A child who bites is not a “bad kid” and shouldn’t be labeled as such; they are just trying to make sense of what is going on and don’t have the language or reasoning skills to know what’s appropriate or inappropriate.
Ex: You enter a grocery store and as you turn to get a cart, your toddler darts out the door.
To Do: Run after them of course, then start the dialogue... “Sam, you ran away from Daddy and *that* wasn’t safe”... “I’m your dad and my job is to keep you safe and I can’t keep you safe if you don’t listen”... Then give Sam 2 acceptable choices... “Sam, you have 2 choices... Do you want to get in the cart or walk holding my hand?”... (child chooses walking)...Then follow that with “Okay, Sam you can hold my hand...but if you run away again, I will put you in the cart so I can keep you safe.”
Also remember to follow through— say what you mean and mean what you say. If you give your child the consequence up front and they choose to ignore it, follow through with the consequence. This will establish parental expectations, teach the child acceptable behaviors, and that there are consequences for our actions.
Sorry this is so long!! Feel free to friend/message me for additional advice— I have a degree in Early Childhood and many years of working with kids. Plus I have my own 14 year old so I’m learning how to parent a teenager as I go. 😂3 -
Congratulations!
Our kids are all teenagers now (!!!) and my advice is - this will pass. Every stage you go through, there will be some challenge that seems to consume you. Sleeping through the night, colic, potty-training, toddler tantrums, kindergarten adjustment (oh, lordy), picky eating, homework drama... all of it goes on, and you'll just get to the next stage, with the next set of challenges.
I'm not saying you should enjoy those challenges. Some well-meaning jerk will tell you to try to enjoy it, but I won't tell you that. It's okay if the screaming of that tiny human makes you want to stab yourself in the ear, and no, you probably won't miss the sleepless nights or the spitup stains on absolutely everything you own, so don't feel obligated to get all sentimental about the stuff that sucks. I wouldn't go backwards for a meeeeeeeelion dollars. I will say - hang in there. Whatever it is, it'll pass. And there will be plenty of good stuff to enjoy, believe me. Newborns are snuggly and sweet, sometimes. 3 and 4-year-olds are absolutely the funniest creatures on the planet. Watching your kid play soccer/dance/play a musical instrument/whatever they've learned and practiced and improved at is the BEST thing in the world.2 -
I’m dealing with grandkids now but I remember well the exhaustion.
My advice is to sleep every minute you can.1 -
Start your college fund now and add 5o % to what you might think your child will need!! Congratulations!!!2
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lots of skin to skin contact when he is tiny is really important whenever possible, esp if it's warm in your place and you just have him lie on your chest and cuddle him up . those are moments you'll never forget.
my boy was very VERY colicky and wasn't up for that unfortunately . don't be too hard on yourself if he gets this way *hoping he does not for everyone's sake! * - but perhaps you can get one of those chairs that are battery operated and kinda subtly shaky to soothe him if he does. *sorry i don't know the name of what it is but i saw it on TV lol*
i tell you , if i'd have had one of those when my boy was small - it would have saved me a LOT of frustration.
don't forget self care when he's sleeping. you'll do just fine because it will go past in the BLINK of an eye! i have two who are all grown up and they managed through it all - best of luck
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thepainmaker88 wrote: »Ok so against all odds we somehow got pregnant and now my wives due date is coming up fast! Im gonna be a stay at home dad and would appreciate ANY advice for soon to be parents....
Our nursery is set up and ready, complete with a crib, nursing chair, and changing station. We have some newborn clothes, bottles, diapers, a stroller, nookies etc... didn’t wanna go to work overboard as we’re hoping we get some of the other essentials at the baby shower this weekend.
We are members of forums for soon to be parents and we are constantly reading up on the subject. He (ohh ya it’s a boy) is due April 17th but is measuring out to be two weeks ahead (don’t know if that means there’s a good chance he’ll be two weeks early or not) but lots of moms on there are going into labor around the 30 week mark and so I wanna be ready Incase he decides to come a little early.
Thanks in advance guys!
BTW here he is:
OMG Dude, bless you and your family...
A few things I've learned -
1- You're never ever going to feel like you're "ready" and you can always run out to Target in a pinch, and believe me you will... So don't stress
2- Nothing about it is particularly hard, but there's a lot... I think once I figured if you split diaper duty in half, by the end of the first year... You'll change over 1k...
3- 20% are early, 5% on time, 75% late... So don't get your hopes up for an early birth...
Best wishes 💕4 -
Congratulations! He looks like a beauty in his ultrasound picture.
You'll be blown away by how obsessed you are with your precious little son. There is nothing in the world like holding your newborn baby, looking into his eyes, watching him grow.
My advice is to do what seems to make the most sense for your baby and your family. People offer a lot of (well-meaning) advice abut sleeping, feeding, routines, clothing, traveling with a baby, etc, etc. But you'll be the one who knows your baby and family.
Best of luck!
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Congratulations! He looks like a beauty in his ultrasound picture.
You'll be blown away by how obsessed you are with your precious little son. There is nothing in the world like holding your newborn baby, looking into his eyes, watching him grow.
My advice is to do what seems to make the most sense for your baby and your family. People offer a lot of (well-meaning) advice abut sleeping, feeding, routines, clothing, traveling with a baby, etc, etc. But you'll be the one who knows your baby and family.
Best of luck!
well stated , Lady 1 -
I think you should try to relax. You won't know or have everything or really be ready and that is okay. You'll figure it out.
Be prepared to let go of things that you think you will do as parents. Children don't tend to go along with your plans or what someone else's baby did. Be flexible and do what works for your kid.
Sleep when they sleep. Help each other get enough rest. An exhausted parent is not great.1 -
Oh, yes. Sleep. I know they say "sleep when the baby sleeps" but even if that means you get 10 hours of sleep every day, getting it only in short chunks for weeks or months is still completely exhausting. My child didn't sleep through the night for a long enough time that I won't even tell you because it's terrifying.
So what we did, when she was REALLY little and waking up constantly, my husband and I split nights. I'd go to bed at like, 8:00 with earplugs and a sleep mask, and he was "ON" until 2:00 a.m. Then HE'D go to bed with earplugs and a sleep mask and I was "ON" until 7:00 a.m. This guaranteed that each of us got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night, plus whatever little chunks we were able to get in between. This actually worked extremely well for us. YMMV.
I was breastfeeding, but I was "lucky" enough to have an oversupply of milk, so I'd pump one bottle during the day for him to give her during his "shift." Obviously that solution wouldn't work for everyone.1 -
Buy a pack of diapers every week or 2 weeks from now until the baby comes. Will help spread the cost out a bit and having the stock pile with the craziness of a newborn is nice. Also, especially for fathers, it is ok to put the baby down if you get frustrated. Crying never hurt a baby. Until you have kids you don't realize how scary it is with how frustrated you can get. Just put the baby down and take some time.
Other than that, have fun.1 -
Awesome thanks for the advice everyone, already sleeping like crap so maybe it’s just my brain getting ready for the sleepless nights0
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_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »I vaguely remember December 2004 being the last time I napped, or had a shower without crying for joy at being alone for 5 minutes.
Me too - the little darling is 14 now - going on 40! :-)
I've got 4 kids - I still know nothing, they're ALL different. Listen to people but listen to your instincts too. Enjoy every minute and keep telling yourself that waking up every 2 hours is not going to be forever. ZZZzzzzzz0 -
Been a while since I had young ones, but if this is your first just realize you will plan, buy and do way more than is actually needed, which isn't bad. There really is very little you can mess up so long as they are fed, changed, and showered with love. My first was a girl and they are vastly different than boys.
Things we did I think are important....use breast milk at least the first year. My then wife was very good about this and pumped regularly so we could freeze bagged portions. This also help so I could do late night feedings and we both had nights we could sleep. Be conversational with them, even before you think they can understand. I never liked baby talk and I think it improves intelligence and understanding to talk more plainly.
But in all, it is a very scary and natural process.
Enjoy.1 -
Don't buy new clothes or toys. Consignment is your best plan.0
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