Parents I need your advice

thepainmaker88

Ok so against all odds we somehow got pregnant and now my wives due date is coming up fast! Im gonna be a stay at home dad and would appreciate ANY advice for soon to be parents....

Our nursery is set up and ready, complete with a crib, nursing chair, and changing station. We have some newborn clothes, bottles, diapers, a stroller, nookies etc... didn’t wanna go to work overboard as we’re hoping we get some of the other essentials at the baby shower this weekend.

We are members of forums for soon to be parents and we are constantly reading up on the subject. He (ohh ya it’s a boy) is due April 17th but is measuring out to be two weeks ahead (don’t know if that means there’s a good chance he’ll be two weeks early or not) but lots of moms on there are going into labor around the 30 week mark and so I wanna be ready Incase he decides to come a little early.

Thanks in advance guys!

BTW here he is:

The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_

Congrats, how exciting ❤ Enjoy every moment, they grow up so fast. Also, make sure to take some time for yourselves too, that's very important.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

puffbrat

You actually need very little the first few weeks and most of it can be bought after baby comes home. Have somewhere safe for them to sleep, carseat (our hospital wouldn't let us leave without proving we had a carseat), feed and change.

Have clothes in newborn, 0-3 month, and 3-6 month. Also good to have diapers in newborn and size 1. You don't know what size they will actually fit into when born. Burp cloths are super helpful.

Swaddles/swaddle blankets! And watch swaddling videos on youtube. Practice on stuffed animal or cat. Seriously, if you can swaddle a cat you are good to go.

These are awesome! Put them on top of the changing pad and throw away when dirty. The first few months we went through multiple a day. Changing pad covers are great but expensive, we only have four and sometimes went through 5-10 of these a day (our kid is a pooper).
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00INCUTRG/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03__o00_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

Babies love to pee when diaper is off and baby boys can really get that stream going. Use a washcloth or peepee teepee for safety.

thepainmaker88

Thanks puffbrat that’s good advice...I didn’t know the changing pad needed a cover... does the poop really get all over the table like that?😫

Ok I often wonder about feeding. Since I will be the primary one feeding him is it rational to think if she pumps enough will she be able to get enough milk to last me while she is at work? I really don’t want to give him formula but I’ve never heard of someone pumping all the milk their child gets (most usually nurse quite a bit)

Unknown

This content has been removed.

tulips_and_tea

Congrats! Things will be hectic at first but remember to slow down, breathe, and relax. Your little one feeds off of your energy level so keep calm and don't stress out every time they cry. That's the only way babies can communicate.

Your wife may need to pump at work and keep bottles in a fridge or cooler and bring them home. Going all day without pumping is not only uncomfortable but will reduce her supply. I'm sure she's already considering all of that.

thepainmaker88

My wife has an anatomy annomly where she has two uterus’s and two cervixs. First time she was pregnant resulted in a miscarriage and that’s when we found out she had little chance of successfully carrying a child through... that is why I said “somehow”
[edited by MFP mods]

JeromeBarry1

Congratulations. In the instruction manual, on page 2, ...

To be continued.

deputy_randolph

Yes...poop gets everywhere all of the time until about the age of 8. I can't count how many pairs of poopy underpants I've had to throw away at the playground (kids' not mine).
ALWAYS carry extra clothes for you and kids in your car.

knightreader

my son is 14. here's some of what i've learned when he was a newborn...congrats, btw... put the car seat in the car NOW, then drive to local police department or fire station to have it checked for proper (safe) installation. One of you should sleep when the baby sleeps during the first few weeks, at least part of the time. make a schedule that works for both of you as to who will wake up when in the middle of the night. i naturally went to bed earlier than wife, so it made sense for me to wake up first in middle of the night, after i had about 5 hours of sleep, then wife woke up for second overnight shift. make noise when the baby is sleeping. buy more onesies. and more diapers. it's ok to tell people not to visit. take lots of pictures. enjoy every minute of it. as my son got older we couldn't wait for him to crawl. then once he started crawling i almost instantly wished he couldn't and would just stay in one place. it was so much easier when he couldn't move much. if you have a HOV lane, a newborn counts. you'll prob get pulled over but once they see the baby, they will let you go. happened to me a few times. best advice of all, enjoy.

Taz6o5

Congratulations on being a dad .

Cowsfan1

tinkerhellraiser wrote: »

get ready to be more tired than u have ever been in your whole *kitten* life

What she said — you may want to just start setting you alarm at random hours to start getting used to it - or just sleep as much as you can while you can - truth is nothing is gonna prepare you man - just enjoy it like others have said above - time flies - kids will learning to drive before you know it

MaryLeuelu

Congrats to you and your wife. It's the start to a very happy, worrying, and exciting journey.
I have always found that parents buy way too many clothes because they grow so fast,and you will always get hand me downs from the family Etc .And for goodness sake don't creep around the house saying "Don't wake the baby", they can sleep through hurricanes lol. When your young man goes for a afternoon nap look after yourself and nap as well. I truly wish you well, and I miss the time when mine where young, you have so much to look forward too.
Mary
Mother of 12, Nana of 32,Great Nana of 10

slessofme

Congrats! My best advice is for your wife. In her last week of maternity leave she should leave the house for an increasing number of hours so that by whatever day is the last day of her work week she'll be out of the house for the equivalent of a full work day. If she works Monday - Friday, do Mon - 2 hrs, Tues - 4 hrs, Wed - 6 hrs, etc. I know she'll want to spend as much time with baby as she can, but this will be so much easier on her emotionally that trying to do a full day away, at her job, while trying to manage those emotions. The hard, first step away will be done and she'll have a clearer mind.

Best of luck!

Cassandraw3

thepainmaker88 wrote: »

Thanks puffbrat that’s good advice...I didn’t know the changing pad needed a cover... does the poop really get all over the table like that?😫

Ok I often wonder about feeding. Since I will be the primary one feeding him is it rational to think if she pumps enough will she be able to get enough milk to last me while she is at work? I really don’t want to give him formula but I’ve never heard of someone pumping all the milk their child gets (most usually nurse quite a bit)

It is entirely possible she is able to pump enough milk. It is also possible she doesn't respond well to the pump and doesn't get enough milk out. Every woman reacts differently. For her, it is important to drink plenty of water to aid in milk production.

I recommend a bottle warmer if she is going the pump route since you are not supposed to microwave breast milk (or formula). Insurance often covers the cost of a breast pump, so if you have not already looked into that I suggest doing so.

The hardest part for me was the lack of sleep. Babies wake up every couple of hours during the night and the interrupted sleep was hard. Congrats! And take lots of pictures of your baby mama with the baby. She will want them.

RunHardBeStrong

Congrats! I don't have much to add to what's been said. Newborns don't need as much as many think, they are pretty basic. I always ended up buying/receiving way too many toys and clothes for each stage. So much that a lot of it went to waste. If family members insist on constantly buying stuff for your kids try and talk them into putting the money into a college fund instead.

LeGaCyGiAnT

-There is no such thing as a kid's playroom... toys will end up everywhere/anywhere in your house.
-You sleep when they sleep, don't argue.
-They are a LOT of fun, I sincerely mean that.

Honestly, just wing it. Every kid is different. Enjoy it all, the good and the bad. The time really does fly by when you have them. Just get the basics.. diapers, wipes, desitin cream, breast pump if your wife is breastfeeding, storage bags, bottles.

_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_

thepainmaker88 wrote: »

Thanks puffbrat that’s good advice...I didn’t know the changing pad needed a cover... does the poop really get all over the table like that?😫

Ok I often wonder about feeding. Since I will be the primary one feeding him is it rational to think if she pumps enough will she be able to get enough milk to last me while she is at work? I really don’t want to give him formula but I’ve never heard of someone pumping all the milk their child gets (most usually nurse quite a bit)

I didn't produce much milk when my son was born, but I was able to pump enough on maternity leave to stock the freezer, and then pumped twice a day at work.

During nighttime feedings I used to nurse my son on one breast while simultaneously pumping from the other side.

Deadman_Diggingup

I vaguely remember December 2004 being the last time I napped, or had a shower without crying for joy at being alone for 5 minutes.

Good luck.

The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_

_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »

I vaguely remember December 2004 being the last time I napped, or had a shower without crying for joy at being alone for 5 minutes.

Good luck.

You never carried Benadryl in your house? For the kids "allergies"? 😉

I'm kidding, I'm kidding..

Chef_Barbell

The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_ wrote: »

_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »

I vaguely remember December 2004 being the last time I napped, or had a shower without crying for joy at being alone for 5 minutes.

Good luck.

You never carried Benadryl in your house? For the kids "allergies"? 😉

I'm kidding, I'm kidding..

Lies! :laugh:

The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_ wrote: »

_Deadman_Walking_ wrote: »

I vaguely remember December 2004 being the last time I napped, or had a shower without crying for joy at being alone for 5 minutes.

Good luck.

You never carried Benadryl in your house? For the kids "allergies"? 😉

I'm kidding, I'm kidding..

Lies! :laugh:

Chef_Barbell

Congrats OP... only advice is you cannot prepare. Every kid is different. I have 6 kids and every single one did things differently.

More diapers always. Never enough. Be prepared for examining poopy diapers with the care of a brain surgeon 😂🤣

Good job being a SAHD! I am a SAHM and this job is hard! One last note... take showers when you can get them in peace. I cannot remember the last time I was able to use the bathroom or shower alone and in peace. :laugh:

Chef_Barbell

RunHardBeStrong wrote: »

Congrats! I don't have much to add to what's been said. Newborns don't need as much as many think, they are pretty basic. I always ended up buying/receiving way too many toys and clothes for each stage. So much that a lot of it went to waste. If family members insist on constantly buying stuff for your kids try and talk them into putting the money into a college fund instead.

Omg so much this!! I'm contemplating having another just to use the sheer amount of stuff that never got used/worn. I keed... I keed. :laugh:

CoffeeAndContour

Have her plan her hospital bag well ahead of time. My son came 4 weeks early and how I really needed that bag. I’ll spare you the disgusting details.


As for measuring early, I wouldn’t worry, but be ready in case he does make an early arrival.

And have a birth plan written up. A plan A and B. This way you can make decisions for her is she’s too tired to continue caring.


Edited to add, and Congratulations! How rude of me. Your life is about to be turned upside down but in all the best ways. Enjoy that bundle of joy.

amfmmama

When I was pregnant with my first the best pieces of advice I got were this ;
1. Retailers are put on earth to make you believe you need stuff, lot's of stuff to survive, not necessarily to make your life better! You will find the items that you love, but don't go crazy....it's a waste of space, and a waste of money
2. The mailbox rule. If you are exhausted, he has not been sleeping, and you find yourself becoming frustrated, it is ok to walk away. You are putting all sorts of thought and effort to creating a safe space for your babe. You can put him down, in his crib, and take a minute, or 5, to pull yourself together. (the funny thing was, when the nurse that told us this, she had no idea my mailbox was a mile away from our house ! .... we strolled the driveway instead)

Good Luck.... you are clearly already in love!

Sunshine_And_Sand

Congratulations! You've got a lot of good advice so far. One thing I'd say is that for things that are a personal preference and later on parenting decisions, not saying it's ok to ignore your doctor's advice of course, friends and family will try to preach their way to you as if it's been proven in peer reviewed studies, but this is you and your wife's child and ultimately your decision (again assuming nothing abusive or unsafe for the child).
Also, it's really easy to want to get through whatever difficult stage your children are in and wish time to go faster. We all do it, but try not to because they are only little once and time already goes too fast.

Chef_Barbell

Oh and I made a bunch of casseroles in the weeks leading up to the birth to put in the freezer. They became lifesavers for a good home cooked meal when I can barely function from lack of sleep.

manderson27

If you see anything on your hand that looks like it might be chocolate, but your sleep deprived brain can't recall if you had any chocolate or not, do not lick your hand, it will NOT be chocolate.

debrakgoogins

thepainmaker88 wrote: »

Ok I often wonder about feeding. Since I will be the primary one feeding him is it rational to think if she pumps enough will she be able to get enough milk to last me while she is at work? I really don’t want to give him formula but I’ve never heard of someone pumping all the milk their child gets (most usually nurse quite a bit)

Every mother and child is different. She definitely may be able to produce enough milk for you to feed the baby, especially if she takes time during her work day to pump. We have a mother here in our office that pumps because her baby was never able to latch for breastfeeding. Her son is fed exclusively with breast milk and only milk that has been pumped. Sometimes a mother can't produce enough milk. It just happens and there is no shame in feeding formula.

The best advice I ever got was: don't tiptoe and speak in hushed tones; vacuum under the crib; make noise while the baby is sleeping. A baby that can sleep through normal household noises makes your life much easier!