Compliments and Motivation - What happens when you hit your goal?

PiscesMan123

I have been obsessed a great deal of my life with weight loss. I lose weight and people compliment me on how great I look. When a person hits their goal weight and part of their motivation has come from others complimenting them along the way; where do you get your inspiration to continue when the compliments stop and you just become a normal weight person? My concern is that I will gain again, just so I can lose again and get the attention. How do you stay motivated?

nutmegoreo

Switch your focus to internal motivations. Why are you doing this? What's in it for you?

quiksylver296

I set training goals. (I'm going to get that 400 lb deadlift, *kitten*!)

Kathryn247

Would you really re-gain and re-lose noticeable weight just for compliments and attention? I did not enjoy being overweight or being at a deficit enough to make that worthwhile.

For me, the compliment in maintenance is when people call me "tiny" in an off-hand way, like it's my natural state and not the result of life-changing weight loss.

My motivation is not undoing all of my hard work to get healthy.

nowine4me

Dazzle them them with wit and intellect. They can compliment you on how smart you are. Or creative, or well dressed or funny, or fast or strong or many, many other things.

hdnowride1

Your motivation should be how much better you feel and look. To hell with what other people do or think! You be proud of your accomplishment and enjoy the good health !!!!

MadisonMolly2017

Focus on health metrics. 😁

jennifer_417

Make yourself a list of all the benefits of losing weight besides the compliments. You might be surprised what you discover.

HoneyBadger302

I can't state currently (since I still have a ways to go), but before I put on the weight I got plenty of compliments on my size - or off handed comments, that maybe weren't meant as compliments, but that's how they felt to me (such as, "you're the smallest person here, you get to sit in the middle").

If anything I see FAR less comments now (as I'm losing) than I did before I put on the weight. Sure, the occasional one, but not like I used to hear.

While that should never be our reason for taking care of our bodies, it can be the reason behind a few vanity pounds, and in my experience, there was a lot more positive to hear at my ideal weight than I have ever heard while losing.

brenn24179

I feel the same way, I have lost weight before and loved the compliments. Now I recently lost weight and compliments are coming but I know they will quit. I guess I will just love fitting in my clothes!

psychod787

No motivation.... habit... life goes on.... next goal...

Added.... I dont want others compliments. This is for me...

pierinifitness

I like pulling my sagging pants up rather than fretting if they’re going to rip or suffocate my trunk.

neugebauer52

Weight loss is (finally) something I do for myself. If other people notice and make POSITIVE comments, that's a bonus and very much appreciated. My motivation comes from within - an inner feel good happiness and the great thing is, that no - one can take that away from me! The feeling of achievement is also important to me. It tells me that I am prepared to constantly learn and the MFP members are a great resource. It tells me that I take good, safe advice on board which I use for my exercise, my daily meal plan, every single meal I eat.

JaiNicole7

I lost 35 lbs this past spring and summer, and loved all the compliments I was getting, and it was pretty motivating for awhile. I have since gained the weight back because I stopped logging, using portion control, and even exercising too. Of course the compliments dwindled. I am now restarting, but my main focus is to love the skin I'm in (cliche, I know). But from that viewpoint I'd say make new goals for yourself and your body. Do you want to build a better physique? Weight loss alone doesn't guarantee that. You could work on body composition and increasing muscle mass. If compliments from others is a motivator for you I'm sure that would get you some. It would also help keep the weight off, and keep you looking and feeling younger for longer. I frequently get compliments on appearing younger than my age. (I don't lift but I'm planning on it.) & I feel like people who lift usually look younger longer.

nxd10

First, every single day I look in the mirror I am so happy that I've lost it. Every time I step on the scale that's a triumph. I've maintained six years.

Second, I am an old professor surrounded by young students. And it is really clear that they consider me slim and trim and not a fat old fart. If weight comes up, it's like 'wow, you look great'.

Just go with it. People shouldn't be commenting on your weight anyway.

LivingtheLeanDream

Yes the compliments stop but I enjoy being slim/healthy/fit for me and noone else - I still love that I get pleasure when I wear a new outfit because I look so darned good in it that's all the motivation I need to maintain (in year 6 of maintenance)

pierinifitness

What happens when you hit your goal? My answer based on just arriving there this week is to continue doing what I did to get there. This is the third time in my middle-aged man life when I've had to work to get back down to where I belong. Now, at age 64, I swear up and down a stack of bibles that it ain't going to happen again. Too much work going to Army boot camp to chisel back down. Better to do as I've recently done than to do what I've done in the past. Your mileage may vary.

ExistingFish

Me? Every time I look in the mirror. Especially when I check myself out in the nude. When I try on clothes. When I get dressed and move up a notch on my belt. When I pick up my kids and it is effortless.

I don't get a lot of compliments, I appreciate compliments on how I wrangle my kids more than on how I look. Being stronger helps me wrangle my kids better. I do get occasional compliments, they are nice.

endermako

once i get to goal weight i'll be doing recomp. i want muscle tone to preserve my hourglass shape

steveko89

As far as compliments go, I enjoy the "man, you've been working out" variety far more than I did the weight loss kind. However, that's not the driver, continuing to improve my strength and my appearance is. I'm stronger and have better aesthetics at 29 than I did at 19 and I'm committed to keeping that trend going.

BattyKnitter

I have lost before and also gotten fit and I much preferred the holy crap you can do how many pull ups type of compliments than the weight loss comments. You can switch you goals to fitness achievements instead.

Servus19

Maintenance is the best. Sure, the compliments drop off but then again...I am the one everyone references when they need to get in to shape.

Seriously....

I give a quiet thanks every-time I squat down to do something and my knees easily touch my collar bone.
When I need a pair of pants and just walk in and grab my size.
When the doc logs my wonderfully low bp and cholesterol and my long resolved prediabetes is not even on the charts anymore.
When I bounce out of bed in the morning feeling full of life.
When my adult kids visit and want me to go hiking with them. I don't slow anyone down, LOL
When my friends saw my change and eventually asked me to share how I did it. I teach cooking classes as a side gig today. Its a tremendous compliment.

I can still run. I feel light..my knees would never have lasted this long if my weight had continued and running would have been impossible. So would have cycling and a dozen other things I picked up over the years :-)

And on the other side, I watch my weight and it does not go more than 10lbs up, and that is rare.

It happens and again, I feel intense gratitude...it is ONLY 5 lbs, this is short term not a 2 yr saga.

I'm in my 50's now and I've maintained for decades. I believe my life change and weight loss have given me a slower life...I am physically younger than my years. I have no age related health problems. For my early efforts my life was reborn and I have done amazing things I never would have accomplished if I had not looked in the mirror one day and refused to do down that road I saw before me.

Maintenance is wonderful. Still is all of these years later.

seltzermint555

LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »

Yes the compliments stop but I enjoy being slim/healthy/fit for me and noone else - I still love that I get pleasure when I wear a new outfit because I look so darned good in it that's all the motivation I need to maintain (in year 6 of maintenance)

Definitely feel this way too. It's mostly for me and how I feel about myself and how I look in my clothes. I have been maintaining a huge loss for about 5 years now and every time I slide a little bit and gain 4-6 lb, I start seeing bulges where I don't want them and it's enough to get me right back on track.

Also agree with BattyKnitter, I much prefer comments on what I can do or how I'm particularly fast/graceful over "you've lost a lot of weight" type comments. Probably my favorite compliment is someone saying I look athletic, like an old friend who said it was obvious I work out a lot (I honestly don't but I am active) and several random people have told me that I look like I played basketball at my alma mater. I LOVE that compliment the most but it cracks me up inwardly, because in college I was close to 300 lb and very sedentary.

sgt1372

Even when the demands and rewards were external, I have always been internally motivated.

That is, I have always done things for my own satisfaction and the achievement of those things was its own reward. This way of thinking motivated my loss of 40# and maintaing that loss over the past 2 yrs.

I think that is the best way to do it; at least it was for me.