Dating Protocols-Paying

SwannySez

denny_mac wrote: »

Pour_Decisions wrote: »

I'm always prepared to pay but I do prefer if the man pays on the first date (at a minimum). It's actually a huge turn-off if he hesitates to pick up the check from the server. If there are subsequent dates I will make the gesture and don't mind paying but I won't insist as to not offend. I must say he'll score more points if he doesn't allow me to pay but I certainly don't mind. I've had this conversation with a couple of guys I dated and I found it helpful. It sort of clears the air and makes it more comfortable. Never on the first date though, I assume he'll pay if he's a gentleman, the conversation should come after a few dates. I'll also add that I tend to be considerate and won't get the most expensive thing on the menu if I know he's paying.

Are you free tomorrow night? I know this lovely new Golden Corral that just opened up and I'd love to take you there. I'll pay for the meal if you take care of the tip.

Just the tip?

powerplaymsu

I always pay. Every time. Letting the server know from the start where the check goes.

EDIT: Is this old fashioned? It's nice when she offers but I always politely decline.

Pour_Decisions

denny_mac wrote: »

Pour_Decisions wrote: »

I'm always prepared to pay but I do prefer if the man pays on the first date (at a minimum). It's actually a huge turn-off if he hesitates to pick up the check from the server. If there are subsequent dates I will make the gesture and don't mind paying but I won't insist as to not offend. I must say he'll score more points if he doesn't allow me to pay but I certainly don't mind. I've had this conversation with a couple of guys I dated and I found it helpful. It sort of clears the air and makes it more comfortable. Never on the first date though, I assume he'll pay if he's a gentleman, the conversation should come after a few dates. I'll also add that I tend to be considerate and won't get the most expensive thing on the menu if I know he's paying.

Are you free tomorrow night? I know this lovely new Golden Corral that just opened up and I'd love to take you there. I'll pay for the meal if you take care of the tip.

So Golden Corral doesn't sell booze but make it at least an Olive Garden and I'll take care of the tip fosho!

deannalfisher

i always offer to pay my portion and TBH wouldn't be offended if he (or she) took me up on it - why offer something you don't really want to do

newmeadow

fastfoodietofitcutie wrote: »

I guess I offer because it’s the polite thing to do.

Only if you were the one who extended the invite. If he asked you, it's odd that you'd offer.

AwesomeOpossum74

Probably a not so popular opinion ...

I don't practice chivalry; as I consider it outdated and sexist, and dates back to when men were the "bread winners". I just do nice things for people, regardless of their gender. Life is partnerships, not ownerships. That's not to say I won't pick up the tab if I enjoyed my time.

But if you expect it, you probably won't get it.

If I was on that date with you and you offered to pay, I would counter-offer to split, or just go dutch, but I wouldn't expect you to pick up the entire tab.

COGypsy

I usually just take the tab and pay it. I can't imagine a scenario where a first date would last longer than 90 minutes and a round of drinks, so it's just not a hill to die on. Just pay the nice waitress and move on with life. I do make sure to bring cash, though in case one needs to make a hasty exit. Like the time a guy "forgot" to mention he had 6 kids--didn't even finish my beer that day, just threw a $20 and RAN!

That being said, I assume that the person who issues the invitation will pick up the tab. I just don't count on it, lol.