Dating Protocols-Paying
Options
Replies
-
NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »i mean it seems a little childish to offer and then be upset by paying, But i do get it. I always offer to pay/split it makes me uncomfortable when people buy me things (especially when i know i wont see them again, It makes some weird expectation bubble around everything. )
I was once told by my friends mom men pay because men (its half joke dont get offended men-or women lol) Often literally buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash as an all in one single item, Tend to make more, Tend to get promoted more etc. Men also get ready much quicker in general. And women go out and buy makeup and do their hair and razors get gauged on all the expensive and timely womanly things they do for dates to look good for the man, So least he can do is buy me dinner lol.
Not sure i believe in that really but it did sort of make me realize why it happens lol. Mentally men paying overall is just a sign they can provide for you which independent woman or not feels good. I can see where it comes from, And everyone likes free.
Edit to add: While i do get it, I cant imagine ever having the expectation the man HAS to pay....I dont understand that mindset
I wish i did my life would be easier
This is me and I was able to retire in my early 30's by all the money I saved on a once every 3 month purchase by this clever life hack.
LOL i go through a bottle of conditioner in about 3 weeks because i have long hair, So point proven more
My boyfriend does the 3 in 1 thing xD Takes forever to go through it 0 -
JaydedMiss wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »i mean it seems a little childish to offer and then be upset by paying, But i do get it. I always offer to pay/split it makes me uncomfortable when people buy me things (especially when i know i wont see them again, It makes some weird expectation bubble around everything. )
I was once told by my friends mom men pay because men (its half joke dont get offended men-or women lol) Often literally buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash as an all in one single item, Tend to make more, Tend to get promoted more etc. Men also get ready much quicker in general. And women go out and buy makeup and do their hair and razors get gauged on all the expensive and timely womanly things they do for dates to look good for the man, So least he can do is buy me dinner lol.
Not sure i believe in that really but it did sort of make me realize why it happens lol. Mentally men paying overall is just a sign they can provide for you which independent woman or not feels good. I can see where it comes from, And everyone likes free.
Edit to add: While i do get it, I cant imagine ever having the expectation the man HAS to pay....I dont understand that mindset I wish i did my life would be easier
This is me and I was able to retire in my early 30's by all the money I saved on a once every 3 month purchase by this clever life hack.
LOL i go through a bottle of conditioner in about 3 weeks because i have long hair, So point proven more My boyfriend does the 3 in 1 thing xD Takes forever to go through it
I did read your original (before editing) and you had a very valid point. Women certainly do spend a lot more money to prepare for dating and it is the least a guy can do to pay for the date and show them that they appreciate the effort.
ETA: For the record I only use a 2 in 1. My body wash is separate. But I don't shower daily so it last much longer than 3 months.3 -
NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »i mean it seems a little childish to offer and then be upset by paying, But i do get it. I always offer to pay/split it makes me uncomfortable when people buy me things (especially when i know i wont see them again, It makes some weird expectation bubble around everything. )
I was once told by my friends mom men pay because men (its half joke dont get offended men-or women lol) Often literally buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash as an all in one single item, Tend to make more, Tend to get promoted more etc. Men also get ready much quicker in general. And women go out and buy makeup and do their hair and razors get gauged on all the expensive and timely womanly things they do for dates to look good for the man, So least he can do is buy me dinner lol.
Not sure i believe in that really but it did sort of make me realize why it happens lol. Mentally men paying overall is just a sign they can provide for you which independent woman or not feels good. I can see where it comes from, And everyone likes free.
Edit to add: While i do get it, I cant imagine ever having the expectation the man HAS to pay....I dont understand that mindset I wish i did my life would be easier
This is me and I was able to retire in my early 30's by all the money I saved on a once every 3 month purchase by this clever life hack.
LOL i go through a bottle of conditioner in about 3 weeks because i have long hair, So point proven more My boyfriend does the 3 in 1 thing xD Takes forever to go through it
I did read your original (before editing) and you had a very valid point. Women certainly do spend a lot more money to prepare for dating and it is the least a guy can do to pay for the date and show them that they appreciate the effort.
ETA: For the record I only use a 2 in 1. My body wash is separate. But I don't shower daily so it last much longer than 3 months.
@caco_ethes I think I found someone for you.
Yeah but he uses a two-in-one. I mean sheesh, i have standards. Somewhere0 -
NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »i mean it seems a little childish to offer and then be upset by paying, But i do get it. I always offer to pay/split it makes me uncomfortable when people buy me things (especially when i know i wont see them again, It makes some weird expectation bubble around everything. )
I was once told by my friends mom men pay because men (its half joke dont get offended men-or women lol) Often literally buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash as an all in one single item, Tend to make more, Tend to get promoted more etc. Men also get ready much quicker in general. And women go out and buy makeup and do their hair and razors get gauged on all the expensive and timely womanly things they do for dates to look good for the man, So least he can do is buy me dinner lol.
Not sure i believe in that really but it did sort of make me realize why it happens lol. Mentally men paying overall is just a sign they can provide for you which independent woman or not feels good. I can see where it comes from, And everyone likes free.
Edit to add: While i do get it, I cant imagine ever having the expectation the man HAS to pay....I dont understand that mindset I wish i did my life would be easier
This is me and I was able to retire in my early 30's by all the money I saved on a once every 3 month purchase by this clever life hack.
LOL i go through a bottle of conditioner in about 3 weeks because i have long hair, So point proven more My boyfriend does the 3 in 1 thing xD Takes forever to go through it
I did read your original (before editing) and you had a very valid point. Women certainly do spend a lot more money to prepare for dating and it is the least a guy can do to pay for the date and show them that they appreciate the effort.
ETA: For the record I only use a 2 in 1. My body wash is separate. But I don't shower daily so it last much longer than 3 months.
So how would a guy feel if i just ask him to pay for my makeup and I’ll split the meal with him? Asking for me3 -
caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »i mean it seems a little childish to offer and then be upset by paying, But i do get it. I always offer to pay/split it makes me uncomfortable when people buy me things (especially when i know i wont see them again, It makes some weird expectation bubble around everything. )
I was once told by my friends mom men pay because men (its half joke dont get offended men-or women lol) Often literally buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash as an all in one single item, Tend to make more, Tend to get promoted more etc. Men also get ready much quicker in general. And women go out and buy makeup and do their hair and razors get gauged on all the expensive and timely womanly things they do for dates to look good for the man, So least he can do is buy me dinner lol.
Not sure i believe in that really but it did sort of make me realize why it happens lol. Mentally men paying overall is just a sign they can provide for you which independent woman or not feels good. I can see where it comes from, And everyone likes free.
Edit to add: While i do get it, I cant imagine ever having the expectation the man HAS to pay....I dont understand that mindset I wish i did my life would be easier
This is me and I was able to retire in my early 30's by all the money I saved on a once every 3 month purchase by this clever life hack.
LOL i go through a bottle of conditioner in about 3 weeks because i have long hair, So point proven more My boyfriend does the 3 in 1 thing xD Takes forever to go through it
I did read your original (before editing) and you had a very valid point. Women certainly do spend a lot more money to prepare for dating and it is the least a guy can do to pay for the date and show them that they appreciate the effort.
ETA: For the record I only use a 2 in 1. My body wash is separate. But I don't shower daily so it last much longer than 3 months.
So how would a guy feel if i just ask him to pay for my makeup and I’ll split the meal with him? Asking for me
I would take that in a heartbeat because you don't wear makeup.1 -
caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »i mean it seems a little childish to offer and then be upset by paying, But i do get it. I always offer to pay/split it makes me uncomfortable when people buy me things (especially when i know i wont see them again, It makes some weird expectation bubble around everything. )
I was once told by my friends mom men pay because men (its half joke dont get offended men-or women lol) Often literally buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash as an all in one single item, Tend to make more, Tend to get promoted more etc. Men also get ready much quicker in general. And women go out and buy makeup and do their hair and razors get gauged on all the expensive and timely womanly things they do for dates to look good for the man, So least he can do is buy me dinner lol.
Not sure i believe in that really but it did sort of make me realize why it happens lol. Mentally men paying overall is just a sign they can provide for you which independent woman or not feels good. I can see where it comes from, And everyone likes free.
Edit to add: While i do get it, I cant imagine ever having the expectation the man HAS to pay....I dont understand that mindset I wish i did my life would be easier
This is me and I was able to retire in my early 30's by all the money I saved on a once every 3 month purchase by this clever life hack.
LOL i go through a bottle of conditioner in about 3 weeks because i have long hair, So point proven more My boyfriend does the 3 in 1 thing xD Takes forever to go through it
I did read your original (before editing) and you had a very valid point. Women certainly do spend a lot more money to prepare for dating and it is the least a guy can do to pay for the date and show them that they appreciate the effort.
ETA: For the record I only use a 2 in 1. My body wash is separate. But I don't shower daily so it last much longer than 3 months.
So how would a guy feel if i just ask him to pay for my makeup and I’ll split the meal with him? Asking for me
It would be totally worth. I pay for the makeup and the meal to see this.
3 -
I'm always prepared to pay but I do prefer if the man pays on the first date (at a minimum). It's actually a huge turn-off if he hesitates to pick up the check from the server. If there are subsequent dates I will make the gesture and don't mind paying but I won't insist as to not offend. I must say he'll score more points if he doesn't allow me to pay but I certainly don't mind. I've had this conversation with a couple of guys I dated and I found it helpful. It sort of clears the air and makes it more comfortable. Never on the first date though, I assume he'll pay if he's a gentleman, the conversation should come after a few dates. I'll also add that I tend to be considerate and won't get the most expensive thing on the menu if I know he's paying.2
-
caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »i mean it seems a little childish to offer and then be upset by paying, But i do get it. I always offer to pay/split it makes me uncomfortable when people buy me things (especially when i know i wont see them again, It makes some weird expectation bubble around everything. )
I was once told by my friends mom men pay because men (its half joke dont get offended men-or women lol) Often literally buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash as an all in one single item, Tend to make more, Tend to get promoted more etc. Men also get ready much quicker in general. And women go out and buy makeup and do their hair and razors get gauged on all the expensive and timely womanly things they do for dates to look good for the man, So least he can do is buy me dinner lol.
Not sure i believe in that really but it did sort of make me realize why it happens lol. Mentally men paying overall is just a sign they can provide for you which independent woman or not feels good. I can see where it comes from, And everyone likes free.
Edit to add: While i do get it, I cant imagine ever having the expectation the man HAS to pay....I dont understand that mindset I wish i did my life would be easier
This is me and I was able to retire in my early 30's by all the money I saved on a once every 3 month purchase by this clever life hack.
LOL i go through a bottle of conditioner in about 3 weeks because i have long hair, So point proven more My boyfriend does the 3 in 1 thing xD Takes forever to go through it
I did read your original (before editing) and you had a very valid point. Women certainly do spend a lot more money to prepare for dating and it is the least a guy can do to pay for the date and show them that they appreciate the effort.
ETA: For the record I only use a 2 in 1. My body wash is separate. But I don't shower daily so it last much longer than 3 months.
So how would a guy feel if i just ask him to pay for my makeup and I’ll split the meal with him? Asking for me
I would take that in a heartbeat because you don't wear makeup.
I’d start if someone else was paying1 -
NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »i mean it seems a little childish to offer and then be upset by paying, But i do get it. I always offer to pay/split it makes me uncomfortable when people buy me things (especially when i know i wont see them again, It makes some weird expectation bubble around everything. )
I was once told by my friends mom men pay because men (its half joke dont get offended men-or women lol) Often literally buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash as an all in one single item, Tend to make more, Tend to get promoted more etc. Men also get ready much quicker in general. And women go out and buy makeup and do their hair and razors get gauged on all the expensive and timely womanly things they do for dates to look good for the man, So least he can do is buy me dinner lol.
Not sure i believe in that really but it did sort of make me realize why it happens lol. Mentally men paying overall is just a sign they can provide for you which independent woman or not feels good. I can see where it comes from, And everyone likes free.
Edit to add: While i do get it, I cant imagine ever having the expectation the man HAS to pay....I dont understand that mindset I wish i did my life would be easier
This is me and I was able to retire in my early 30's by all the money I saved on a once every 3 month purchase by this clever life hack.
LOL i go through a bottle of conditioner in about 3 weeks because i have long hair, So point proven more My boyfriend does the 3 in 1 thing xD Takes forever to go through it
I did read your original (before editing) and you had a very valid point. Women certainly do spend a lot more money to prepare for dating and it is the least a guy can do to pay for the date and show them that they appreciate the effort.
ETA: For the record I only use a 2 in 1. My body wash is separate. But I don't shower daily so it last much longer than 3 months.
So how would a guy feel if i just ask him to pay for my makeup and I’ll split the meal with him? Asking for me
It would be totally worth. I pay for the makeup and the meal to see this.
Almost identical to the pic i sent some friends after putting makeup on for the first time in a year 😬0 -
Pour_Decisions wrote: »I'm always prepared to pay but I do prefer if the man pays on the first date (at a minimum). It's actually a huge turn-off if he hesitates to pick up the check from the server. If there are subsequent dates I will make the gesture and don't mind paying but I won't insist as to not offend. I must say he'll score more points if he doesn't allow me to pay but I certainly don't mind. I've had this conversation with a couple of guys I dated and I found it helpful. It sort of clears the air and makes it more comfortable. Never on the first date though, I assume he'll pay if he's a gentleman, the conversation should come after a few dates. I'll also add that I tend to be considerate and won't get the most expensive thing on the menu if I know he's paying.
Are you free tomorrow night? I know this lovely new Golden Corral that just opened up and I'd love to take you there. I'll pay for the meal if you take care of the tip.
Just the tip?0 -
I always pay. Every time. Letting the server know from the start where the check goes.
EDIT: Is this old fashioned? It's nice when she offers but I always politely decline.0 -
Pour_Decisions wrote: »I'm always prepared to pay but I do prefer if the man pays on the first date (at a minimum). It's actually a huge turn-off if he hesitates to pick up the check from the server. If there are subsequent dates I will make the gesture and don't mind paying but I won't insist as to not offend. I must say he'll score more points if he doesn't allow me to pay but I certainly don't mind. I've had this conversation with a couple of guys I dated and I found it helpful. It sort of clears the air and makes it more comfortable. Never on the first date though, I assume he'll pay if he's a gentleman, the conversation should come after a few dates. I'll also add that I tend to be considerate and won't get the most expensive thing on the menu if I know he's paying.
Are you free tomorrow night? I know this lovely new Golden Corral that just opened up and I'd love to take you there. I'll pay for the meal if you take care of the tip.
So Golden Corral doesn't sell booze but make it at least an Olive Garden and I'll take care of the tip fosho!0 -
i always offer to pay my portion and TBH wouldn't be offended if he (or she) took me up on it - why offer something you don't really want to do1
-
fastfoodietofitcutie wrote: »I guess I offer because it’s the polite thing to do.
Only if you were the one who extended the invite. If he asked you, it's odd that you'd offer.
0 -
Probably a not so popular opinion ...
I don't practice chivalry; as I consider it outdated and sexist, and dates back to when men were the "bread winners". I just do nice things for people, regardless of their gender. Life is partnerships, not ownerships. That's not to say I won't pick up the tab if I enjoyed my time.
But if you expect it, you probably won't get it.
If I was on that date with you and you offered to pay, I would counter-offer to split, or just go dutch, but I wouldn't expect you to pick up the entire tab.1 -
I usually just take the tab and pay it. I can't imagine a scenario where a first date would last longer than 90 minutes and a round of drinks, so it's just not a hill to die on. Just pay the nice waitress and move on with life. I do make sure to bring cash, though in case one needs to make a hasty exit. Like the time a guy "forgot" to mention he had 6 kids--didn't even finish my beer that day, just threw a $20 and RAN!
That being said, I assume that the person who issues the invitation will pick up the tab. I just don't count on it, lol.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 390 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 922 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions