Do you not think that you're as fat as you are...

davemacdonald31

I've had this problem for a long time. When I'm doing my normal day to day activities, I don't feel fat. In my head I don't look fat. Just a little out of shape. That's all. Buddies tease me about my weight, which they are fat too. I keep telling myself that I don't look as big as them. In reality, I am, or even bigger. I don't like my picture taken because I know I'll see the real me and won't like it. But I do tend to get into some pictures whether I want to or not. Then reality sets in. I'm huge. It's a shot to the gut! No pun intended. It's sad. Makes me angry. How did I get this big? I didn't really know I was this big!! People find it hard to believe that I didn't see myself as a big person. They say well, you are into xxl shirts and size 42 pants. How do you not know?? I guess its just depressing when it finally sinks in. I do have about 75 lbs to lose.
Wish me luck people. Maybe my next post will be in the success stories.....
Thanks for listening!

CassMurray215

You got this!

kimny72

Welcome and good luck

Check out these threads when you have a moment, lots of great info to get you started:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10636388/free-customized-personal-weight-loss-eating-plan-not-spam-or-mlm/p1

kwest_4_fitness

I'm right there with you. In my own head, I'm not as big as I really am. I feel ok, my clothes make me feel good, and the weight doesn't usually bother me mentally until I get hit with a picture. Then it's like "dear gods, I'm huge!" Like you, I have about 75 lbs to go on my weight loss journey. And as long as I keep myself in check by not ignoring my weight, I'm hoping to get there by this time next year!

AliNouveau

It's funny how we don't see ourselves as we actually are. I can walk past a store window and see something I just don't see in myself. I'll asked my loved ones their honest opinions which aren't how I see myself. Our minds play some crazy tricks.

Hope you are successful

Danp

Yep, I was the same way and your post really resonated with me.

At my heaviest I knew I was overweight but in my head and even in the mirror I just couldn't see how overweight I was. I'd see other guys and think "Wow! At least I'm not that big" when in reality I was easily as if not significantly heavier than they were. I'm sure now that it's a form of body dysmorphia (completely self diagnosed).

I also relate to the avoiding being in photos or hid away in the back of group shots as, for whatever reason, the skewed image I of myself that I saw in my head and in the mirror didn't extend to pictures and they were REAL confronting. I remember one particular image where someone took a photo. I was sitting in the chair in front of them so was captured from behind. O....M....G... what I saw in that photo shook me to the core! I was MASSIVE and there was no denying it. I was barely human shaped from behind, just this enormous round mass.

So yeah man. I definitely feel where you're coming from only for me the denial went on even longer to the point where the X's were hitting the 5, 6 and 7s before I stopped kidding myself, gave myself an uppercut and did something about it.

That was 16 months and 45.5kg (100.3lb) ago.

mcemino2

I feel the same way. Felt like I was in decent shape, even though I knew I was overweight. Hated getting my picture taken, still do. When my work pants started getting too tight I decided I wasn't going to get a bigger size again. Started in October of last year at 227, down to 187 and feel better than I have in ages, still want to lose another 20 or 30 pounds. Also like you I love to play hockey, been out of it for 7 or 8 years, planning on hitting the ice again in June when the summer session starts. Add me as a friend-you got this!

Theoldguy1

Recognizing an issue is half the solution. Best of luck.

texasredreb

I have the opposite perception of myself. I always view myself and the largest, fattest, ugliest, most gluttonous person in the room. When I walk into an area with other people (one or many) I immediately compare myself (unflatteringly) to them. Then I feel horribly self conscious the entire time I'm with them as I think that they are all judging me for being the largest, fattest, ugliest in the room.

I also hate my picture to be taken and will do anything to avoid it. I have taken my picture three times since I started this weight loss effort: the first day, the first month and the second month. I do not see any different in the three sets of photos. I've lost about 20lbs, but since I'm still about 80lbs overweight it's going to take a another 20-40lbs before I notice any difference. Oh well.

OooohToast

Ooh this really spoke to me - in my head, I was overweight, not fat and definitely not 'that' fat.

Except I am ! Some of it is because I do think when other people have an issue with mine or anyone elses weight, its their problem. Added to which (all) that weight has not stopped me from doing anything either.

So why diet now ? Because I am on the verge of being prediabetic and my BP went up like a firework on top of which, I am perimenopausal so at the point where it may get harder to lose it if I wanted to. That was the start in Feb this year - BP out of the red zone and I can get my jeans off without undoing them .

Still got 40lb to go - I too had 75ish to lose.

Good luck OP - you got this !

hap2go

I hear you loud and clear. I was never a FAT kid and I was very active growing up so my eating habits are based on that. Once I quit smoking and had a kid, it was kind of downhill from there. I weigh more now than I did 9 months pregnant. I don't even want to know what my sugar and cholesterol numbers are. I need to get to a healthier weight so I’ll be around for my kid.

And yes I HATE seeing myself in photos sometimes.

buffywhitney

Please don't be sad. Be happy knowing that starting today, you have the power to turn things around. I know this way thinking helped me a lot. Stay with MFP and you will learn something new everyday to help you get there. Also, be ready for those big "friends" of yours to not be so happy for you. I ran into this problem and many do. I Wish you well. You'll get there!

davemacdonald31

Thank you all for the kind words! I truly appreciate it. I really do. I know I have a long way to go, but I'll get there. I'll get there.

Yivs_87

The funny thing is that at some point when you lose the weight you are not able to see yourself as a slim/lean/athletic person. You still keep the perception of you being so huge. At least it was like this for me several years ago. I lost the weight, didn't like how I looked or I was assuming I was still too fat and as I was anyways fat, why not eat like I used to? Aaaaand got back to being huge.

Our minds are curious things. But being able to see the truth helps.

Photos help not only to realize your weight issues, but also to realize your progress once you start working on those weight issues. So get over hating how you look and take regular photos of yourself to compare your old you with your new you. It will definitely help along the way. No idea why mirrors don't work the same way and you continue seeing yourself as "big" in those xD I guess it hits us more seriously when we see ourselves frozen in pixels.

Kimmotion5783

Awwwe Dave! Sending you lots of hugs. I get what you're saying, I go through the same thought cycle in my head from time to time. Like when I'm doing great, sticking to my diet and then I look in a mirror at my big thighs and go "how the hell did I get like this!?!" It's totally depressing and yeah "a shot to the gut". When I was at my worst weight, I was in complete denial how just how big I was. It was hard to face up to it until I absolutely had to. There are still moments where I go this can't possibly be me, I'm so fat!, and yet here I am. BUT... don't let it get you down! Beating yourself up never got any good results. Don't let those negative thoughts win. Keep your head up, keep on keeping on. Keep doing the best you can every single day. Fall down 9 times, get up 10, know what I mean? If you mess up at breakfast, get back on track at lunch. It's never too late! Keep your chin up. You got this!

CSARdiver

This was me 4 years ago.

Yeah - you got this. Read the stickies. Ask more questions from those who have been here before.

You're likely going to have to unlearn a great deal of popular woo, so be ready for that.

Check out the National Weight Control Registry:

http://www.nwcr.ws/Research/default.htm

I found a great deal of inspiration within the success stories within this site and others, but I wake up daily to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdTMDpizis8&t=5s

mom2kpr

For me it depends on the situation. When I am just going about my day, shopping and stuff, I don't feel fat - I feel normal (until I see my reflection). When I'm at home I usually feel fat. The rest of my family is thin, so I feel out of place with them. Also, when I meet people for the first time, I feel very fat and self-conscience. I'd say it's about 50/50 whether I feel fat or normal. I am actually obese - about 70# overweight.

Kathryn247

Yes! This is exactly what got me started losing weight. I saw my reflection in a window, and a photo, and thought "That's not what I'm supposed to look like." It certainly wasn't what I looked like in my head.
...45 pounds later...
Caught a glimpse of myself in a window and thought, "Oh yeah, that's what I'm supposed to look like!"

Now I hold up pants in my size and they don't look like they'll fit, but they do...

Determination and patience can get you there.

BattyKnitter

I always get both views. When I was at my biggest weight I felt like I was smaller most of the time, until I had to go up a flight of stairs, bend over to tie my shoe, or like you when I saw pictures of myself. Now that I've lost weight I very much see the 20 pounds I still have to lose but I also see the 45 I've lost, I realize I've lost weight but I still feel SO big.

zeejane4

Back when I started this process I didn't think I was overweight and I had no desire to lose weight for aesthetics reasons. I was comfortable in my body and I didn't mind where I was at. And then everything changed when I received a medical diagnosis, which was most likely influenced by my weight. Suddenly I was facing a crisis that would not only affect me, but also my family. I had a few days where I had a lot of internal conversations with myself and I really got real with myself about how I had let myself get to this point.

From there I made a commitment to lose the weight to try and correct the health problem, but more importantly I committed to keeping the weight off, no matter what. I had never tried losing weight before/never had dieted but I was going to take responsibility and get this done, permanently.

7 years later and I've been maintaining a 50ish pound weight loss for around 6 years. I no longer have the health issue and all my health markers and blood work consistently come back good. Every day I think about my weight and what I'm going to do that day, to continue maintaining my progress. I'll continue doing that for the rest of my life.

Getting to the point where you realize that you need to change is half the battle. Now comes the next phase-taking care of what needs to be changed. I wish you the best of luck Op, as you move forward from here

cheryldumais

I think the most exciting thing about this post is all the folks that have resonated with your feelings especially the ones that have conquered it and can tell you it can be done. You're on the right track. I expect you will do just great. Keep coming back and give yourself time to change. One step at a time and before you know it you will be where you want to be.

meljoemom

@davemacdonald31 So you were a disciplined hockey player. You practiced every day and worked hard. Find that discipline again and apply it to YOUR HEALTH. Work with your family to make the right choices. My hubby is on my bandwagon and coming along for the ride. I found Skinnytaste.com for AWESOME tasty recipes made for any diet and tool, and have gotten active on the 'Just Give Me 10 Days' thread... The accountability helps. I have a friend working hard for her kicka$$ body, too, so we text each other daily what we did or didn't do and how we are doing. Discipline and accountability/Calories In-Calories Out. Everyone has their own way of doing things and I'm not slamming anyone, but I don't have time to figure out exact amount of carbs/ratios or want something on my body that counts my every step, sleep and bowel movements. I am just trying to eat things that are good for me in smaller portions. And if I want something that is bad for me, stick to really small portions. And it's working. Figure out what works for you and do it.. and don't give up your progress for anything.. until you are where you want to be. It's not about motivation because that comes and goes... find the discipline you had as a pro hockey player MacDonald! Instead of minding the net, mind your calories! Or better yet, do both! Serious exercise and watching cals at the same time will rock!

Shari

lalalacroix

I knew I was fat. I even referred to myself as fat, which always seemed super uncomfortable to my people.

estherdragonbat

I never thought I looked bad in the mirror. "Sure, I could lose a few, but I carry them well." But photographs...? Yikes.

manderson27

Being totally honest about how big you are is the first step to doing something about it. I too would look at myself and think " I don't look that fat" then see a picture and be horrified.

We are all here to make changes. You can too.

davemacdonald31

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!!

anl90

I honestly don't think it is necessarily a bad thing to feel less than what you actually weigh. My husband was the same way at his old job - he has always been a very active person, and does quite a bit for his size. I personally see it as a little bit of a confidence thing - or it could denial, I guess depending on how you look at it..haha

Best of luck in your journey! You've got this!