How do people gain weight back?
SeanD2407
Posts: 139 Member
Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
30
Replies
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OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
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I see so many threads of people starting over claiming "this time its for real" and that's so discouraging since it's likely most of them are not telling the truth and will just post a new thread claiming the same months from now.24
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There are countless reasons. Weight management takes diligence and life can be very messy/distracting at times.
17 -
I think that it is really important to address WHY I overeat while I am losing the weight. Otherwise when I'm not singularly focused on the task of losing weights i slip back into old patterns of emotional eating and being sedentary.7
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OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
I don't trust myself. When I get to the final number I plan to keep logging for a very long time, if not, forever. I was experiencing some calorie creep a few weeks ago because of a family event. It wasn't enough to cut my weight loss but it did slow it some (.5-.75 pound a week) and that was with me watching. I simply didn't care as much for a few weeks.10 -
OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
I get that but my thing is Lets say "Frank" goes from a size 42 waist down to a 32. Wouldn't they be self aware that they are in the wrong direction if say a size 36 suddenly gets too tight? I know years is a lot of time in retrospect but i have a hard time grasping how they get up to a size 44 again before realizing they need to get back on track again?16 -
I know what is right, yet I do what is wrong.60
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This cannot be emphasized enough. The weight loss phase is for a few months to a couple years usually. During that time people are usually hyper focused on their weight loss goals and are motivated.There are countless reasons. Weight management takes diligence and life can be very messy/distracting at times.
Maintenance is the complete opposite. We're looking at 20, 30, 40+ YEARS. The focus wanes, the motivation fades into the background. And then life happens-years of holidays, family get togethers, vacations, illness, job changes, moves, deaths in the family, stressful times, family situations like divorce, births etc, injuries and the list goes on and on. Any one of these situations can knock someone off their maintenance plan in an instant, and it can be very hard to get back on track.
It's during these times that those ingrained habits can slip back in, because they're our default. And when you slip once, it's easy to slip again, and again and again. A little weight creep can quickly snowball into a significant regain.
eta: a small example-my dad just had food surgery this week and now is on modified bed rest for 6 weeks. No more daily walks/bike rides for him. Instead he'll be stuck at home, in a chair or bed, watching a lot of tv. I can almost guarantee he'll have gained weight by the time he can get back to normal, because he's struggled with his weight but has kept it under control these past few years by increased exercise and keeping busy. Just one example of how life events can complicate weight management.
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OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
I get that but my thing is Lets say "Frank" goes from a size 42 waist down to a 32. Wouldn't they be self aware that they are in the wrong direction if say a size 36 suddenly gets too tight? I know years is a lot of time in retrospect but i have a hard time grasping how they get up to a size 44 again before realizing they need to get back on track again?
How does it happen the first time? Seriously. I know I kept buying bigger clothes but I don't remember how it was possible for me to keep letting it happen. Denial I suppose. If it can happen the first time it can happen again.
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It's called life.
The most common pathway is that the plan to get back on track ASAP doesn't get implemented until the day you see the posts.
Awareness and willingness to act are your defence.
My own strategy has been to try and choose the "easy way".
To eat and do things that I believe I will be able to do longer-term and which present minimal barriers to implement.
And I'm not past the 5 year mark, yet
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Maintenance is hard. That’s really all there is to it.
Some people choose to crash diet or go on temporary diets that eliminate some of their favorite foods to lose weight and while it does result in weight loss it isn’t something they keep up with into maintenance which results in gaining back weight when they revert to their old way of eating.
There are also people who think of exercise as only something you do to lose weight. When they switch to maintenance and quit exercising they may not realize the impact that made on their calorie output.
The list goes on...
After my initial weight loss of 140 lbs I ended up gaining about 23lbs back (combination of factors...surgery, poor logging, and a birth control pill that made me feel ravenous all the time). Even now I have only managed t0 take about 8 of that 23 back off, but I’m not going stress it. I think my original goal weight might have been to low for me (my profile pic is current and 15 lbs heavier than my original goal weight).10 -
Weight management is a whole different ball game from weight loss. Weight loss is just a blip in the scope of maintaining a healthy weight. For me, I had emotional issues I had not solved, expected weight loss to solve, and totally bombed at maintenance because weight loss didn't solve them (kind of a what-was-the-point-then feeling). I wasn't surprised I gained it back, though.16
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Competing priorities. People know it's happening. It's not as if I woke up one morning and suddenly realized I was 45 pounds over my goal weight again.17
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Some people don't make a maintenance plan at all.
Some people make a maintenance plan, but only follow it for a short time.
Some people make a maintenance plan that just doesn't work for their lifestyle and goals, and then don't change the plan accordingly.
Some people have health problems or other issues that keep them from following their maintenance plan.
Maintenance is a lot of work and it doesn't give the same rewards as seeing the scale go down. Without a sustainable maintenance plan, those pounds will come back and they often bring friends. The takeaway from this is to make a maintenance plan that you can stick with for the long term.16 -
What I am reading makes sense. It seems like it takes SO long to lose the weight but in scope of a normal lifetime it is just a blip.10
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Weight management is a mind game. I've lost then gained back weight in the past.
Life happens - you're stressed and you gain a few pounds. You tell yourself that once life settles down you'll lose the weight - but you don't. You have the 100 reasons you don't have time to exercise. You have the 10 reasons you "don't care". There are the 100 lies we tell ourselves to justify our behavior in the moment that we know is wrong.
Then you realize 5 pounds has turned into 20. You put your head in the sand a little deeper and tell yourself some more lies about age, or hormones, or whatever that keep you from losing weight. 20 pounds turn into 50.
Then you wake up one day and your secretly disgusted with your behavior and the way you look. You avoid the scale and eat when no one is looking and tell yourself some more lies... Then 50 pounds turns into 80.
Then one day you have a moment of clarity and realize the lies you're telling yourself aren't helping. You realize you're killing yourself with a fork. If you are lucky you start over. Maybe you are smarter this time - wiser - more aware of the lies and ready to stop telling them.
Anyway. The struggle isn't the process of losing weight. That's easy. The struggle is between the ears. At least it was for me.49 -
OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
I get that but my thing is Lets say "Frank" goes from a size 42 waist down to a 32. Wouldn't they be self aware that they are in the wrong direction if say a size 36 suddenly gets too tight? I know years is a lot of time in retrospect but i have a hard time grasping how they get up to a size 44 again before realizing they need to get back on track again?
Don't you think that "Frank" was aware that he was overweight when he first went up through the sizes, with each size getting too small, until he reached size 42 the first time around? Why do you think there is something special about supposedly being in maintenance (although many people who reach a weight loss goal think of it as "done" and don't have the same goal-minded approach to maintenance) that would make people more likely to take and stick with the actions needed to lose any weight they "re-gain" as opposed to taking and sticking with the necessary actions during the initial gain? There are plenty of overweight and obese people around. Do you think they aren't self-aware?
I'm taking you at your word that your postings are coming from a place of anxiety about your own ability to maintain when you reach your goal, but the way you phrase your posts by speaking about other people, they can easily come across as judging the character of people who regain weight. I think for any of us who have ever allowed ourselves to become overweight at one time, compassion, if not self-awareness of the potential hypocrisy, should lead us away from suggesting that people who regain weight are exhibiting some kind of moral or character flaw.44 -
What I am reading makes sense. It seems like it takes SO long to lose the weight but in scope of a normal lifetime it is just a blip.
I found mentally shifting to 'This is my new normal' was the key for me. It's also helping me accept that these last 5 pounds are taking a ridiculously long time to lose. If it takes me all year, that's ok. I'll still be eating essentially the same the year after that in maintenance, anyway. There is no more 'Lose the weight so I can go back to eating "real food" again!' mentality.10 -
Disclaimer: Generalized statements ahead.
It's something that varies by individual. But what happens to a lot of people, is that after they lose the weight, they slip back into the habits that got them overweight in the first place. Instead of treating it as a permanent new lifestyle that they will need to implement for life, many treat it as a temporary thing they do to lose the weight.
For example, someone tries low carb, loses 20 lbs, but then realizes they miss pasta or it doesn't leave them feeling as good as they thought it would. They just pick up where they left off from the lifestyle they had before. Or they try too much too soon. Like a woman counting calories but only eating 1200, and not eating back her exercise calories. She then decides counting calories is too hard and restrictive, and goes back to her previous lifestyle habits gaining back whatever she lost.
Maintenance absolutely can be done. But just like weight loss, it takes work. You can't just relax and go back to life as you knew it as soon as you hit your goal. (A common pitfall.) You have to keep those habits that got you to lose the weight. Be it counting calories, a certain way of eating, smaller portions, an exercise regime, or what have you. When losing weight you have to ask yourself "Are these changes things I am willing to do for life?" Because that's what you have to do to keep it off. I have only maintained my new weight for about 9 months so far. But I still have to remind myself "this is how I eat now" on occasion to avoid portions from creeping up on me. I also weigh myself between daily and weekly now, so it doesn't sneak up on me. If my trend ticks up, I know it's time to watch what I'm eating more closely, and up my activity level.6 -
I appreciate all the feedback. BTW im by no means throwing shade at people for not sticking to their weight management. Im just trying to prepare myself mentally by learning from mistakes that other people make. I only had about 50 to lose and have done fairly good of keeping it below a certain point the past 2 years. Also being in a deficit constantly makes me more conscious of what I am taking in.. I just know after goung down several sizes I never want to let myself go up.. so I'll have awareness.. but maybe I have to see myself 3 or 4 years from now.. im still in late 20s so not a whole lot of life experience11
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Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
Easy to say, harder to do...especially when you're talking about diligence over years and years. Beyond that, life happens and best laid plans go by the wayside.
I've more or less maintained for 6 years and have had various trials along the way. I've had periods of time when I'm cycling 100 - 150 miles per week and I don't even really have to think about what I'm eating and times like now when I'm more time crunched where I'm lucky to get in 30-45 minute rides in 3 days per week for which I must be much more diligent with food.
I usually put on 8-10 Lbs most winters when my activity dips due to cold and dark and holidays roll around, good comfort food is abundant, etc...thus far I've always taken it off at some point during the spring, but it's always a struggle to get back to that dieting mode to cut the weight and usually takes me a couple of months just to get there mentally.
It all sounds good and easy, but it's harder than people think...especially as time goes on and you have more *kitten* it moments. I was pretty gung ho in maintenance for my first couple of years, but as time goes on I have way more moments of, "do I go for a ride or do I lay out by the pool with a cold one and relax?"
Also, life just changes along the way. I actually had a lot more time to take care of myself before my kids were in school...now they are both in school and have homework and various projects and soccer practice and soccer games and golf practice, etc.19 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
I get that but my thing is Lets say "Frank" goes from a size 42 waist down to a 32. Wouldn't they be self aware that they are in the wrong direction if say a size 36 suddenly gets too tight? I know years is a lot of time in retrospect but i have a hard time grasping how they get up to a size 44 again before realizing they need to get back on track again?
Don't you think that "Frank" was aware that he was overweight when he first went up through the sizes, with each size getting too small, until he reached size 42 the first time around? Why do you think there is something special about supposedly being in maintenance (although many people who reach a weight loss goal think of it as "done" and don't have the same goal-minded approach to maintenance) that would make people more likely to take and stick with the actions needed to lose any weight they "re-gain" as opposed to taking and sticking with the necessary actions during the initial gain? There are plenty of overweight and obese people around. Do you think they aren't self-aware?
I'm taking you at your word that your postings are coming from a place of anxiety about your own ability to maintain when you reach your goal, but the way you phrase your posts by speaking about other people, they can easily come across as judging the character of people who regain weight. I think for any of us who have ever allowed ourselves to become overweight at one time, compassion, if not self-awareness of the potential hypocrisy, should lead us away from suggesting that people who regain weight are exhibiting some kind of moral or character flaw.
The difference is "Frank" now knows what it takes to lose where as the first time he may not have. My logic is why he wouldn't ho back to what he learned sooner in the process.1 -
It’s really simple to understand. Eating too much. Life happens, and there are as many reasons as there are people, of how they “let” it happen after all the hard work they put in.
It happens to over 80% of the people who lose weight, so it’s not unusual.3 -
lynn_glenmont wrote: »OP, I'm going to assume that you've never had to maintain a significant weight loss, long term. Because weight loss is the easy part, it's maintenance that's a *kitten*.
The thing about habits is that they're very ingrained into your life and once the motivation of the short weight loss period ends, it's very easy for those bad habits to creep back in, without you even realizing it. Maintenance is such a mind game and has a lot of challenges, (along with triumphs).
Most people fail at weight loss adherence within 2 years, and the success rate is dismal beyond the 5 year mark. Like I said-maintenance can be a *kitten*
I get that but my thing is Lets say "Frank" goes from a size 42 waist down to a 32. Wouldn't they be self aware that they are in the wrong direction if say a size 36 suddenly gets too tight? I know years is a lot of time in retrospect but i have a hard time grasping how they get up to a size 44 again before realizing they need to get back on track again?
Don't you think that "Frank" was aware that he was overweight when he first went up through the sizes, with each size getting too small, until he reached size 42 the first time around? Why do you think there is something special about supposedly being in maintenance (although many people who reach a weight loss goal think of it as "done" and don't have the same goal-minded approach to maintenance) that would make people more likely to take and stick with the actions needed to lose any weight they "re-gain" as opposed to taking and sticking with the necessary actions during the initial gain? There are plenty of overweight and obese people around. Do you think they aren't self-aware?
I'm taking you at your word that your postings are coming from a place of anxiety about your own ability to maintain when you reach your goal, but the way you phrase your posts by speaking about other people, they can easily come across as judging the character of people who regain weight. I think for any of us who have ever allowed ourselves to become overweight at one time, compassion, if not self-awareness of the potential hypocrisy, should lead us away from suggesting that people who regain weight are exhibiting some kind of moral or character flaw.
The difference is "Frank" now knows what it takes to lose where as the first time he may not have. My logic is why he wouldn't ho back to what he learned sooner in the process.
Maybe Frank started a new job with a longer commute that requires more mental strain and less activity.
Maybe Frank has a new baby and is trying to work keeping a tiny human alive into his new daily routine.
Maybe Frank moved to a new city that isn't as climate or activity friendly as the one he left.
Maybe Frank lost a loved one and went through a depressive episode.
Maybe maybe maybe...
You said yourself, you possibly don't have a lot of life experience yet. Often times our plates fill so full, something has to give (or so we feel). Unfortunately, attention to diet and activity are easy to let go in place of more immediately pressing matters.29 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
Easy to say, harder to do...especially when you're talking about diligence over years and years. Beyond that, life happens and best laid plans go by the wayside.
I've more or less maintained for 6 years and have had various trials along the way. I've had periods of time when I'm cycling 100 - 150 miles per week and I don't even really have to think about what I'm eating and times like now when I'm more time crunched where I'm lucky to get in 30-45 minute rides in 3 days per week for which I must be much more diligent with food.
I usually put on 8-10 Lbs most winters when my activity dips due to cold and dark and holidays roll around, good comfort food is abundant, etc...thus far I've always taken it off at some point during the spring, but it's always a struggle to get back to that dieting mode to cut the weight and usually takes me a couple of months just to get there mentally.
It all sounds good and easy, but it's harder than people think...especially as time goes on and you have more *kitten* it moments. I was pretty gung ho in maintenance for my first couple of years, but as time goes on I have way more moments of, "do I go for a ride or do I lay out by the pool with a cold one and relax?"
And here's the danger... One day you say*kitten* it and have a cold one by the pool. You watch the scale with some anxiety and to your surprise your weight stays the same. In a couple of weeks you try it again - and the scale stays the same. THEN you start to believe it's ok to skip the exercise and lay by the pool. You believe your body has reached some new equilibrium that lets you get away with that... Then the scale creeps - just a bit. You know you need to go for a ride or a run but - dang it - now you're out of shape and it hurts. So you avoid the pain and say *kitten* it - and have a cold one by the pool. You tell yourself you'll start tomorrow... The lies are back in your mind - it's so easy...(Do I sound like I've been down this road?)45 -
This is one of the reasons I wonder if maintaining a small deficit during the week to eat more on the weekend might be a good idea for me. It is what I do now anyway and it keeps me from ever getting out of this mode completely. I don't know until I get there and try it though (assuming that is still my plan).
5 -
I have been obese my entire life (fat kit, obese by high school..you get the picture).
In my mid 20's i lost 100lbs, with the help of a doctor (endocrinologist and registered dietitian). took about a year. put it all back on. i couldn't find a dietitian and didn't think i could do it on my own (had used some drugs the first time).
FINALLY late 20's early 30's I found some help thanks to my family doctor, worked with weight loss management clinic and lost the 100lbs again.
I ended up putting 40lbs back on. I knew it was happening but it was also a pretty hard time for exercise and commitment to food (excuse i know). Finally when my dog died I threw myself into fitness, which made it easier to log and eat well. And for the first time lost weight totally on my own. i'm actually lower than ever having lost 52lbs.
How did I gain all that weight back?
portion creep. i stopped weighing food. and this will be key for my entire future, i am HORRIBLE at bit by bit over months and months letting portion creep come in. Then the treat comes more than once a month. and you stop deciding between dessert or wine and having both....my exercise also reduced (dog could no longer walk as much). Just you know, life.
why didn't i go back on weight loss mode at first size increase?
just normal reasons we don't start weight loss the first time around. we put it off. we don't really commit. "i'll start monday". you get the idea. BUT I did catch myself less than halfway this time so that's ... better.10 -
Life happens. For many people, the issue is comfort/stress eating, or they have psychological issues all tied up in their eating habits, or their weight was a defense mechanism. Once the priority of "weight loss" is gone, all those stressors come back into play, quietly and sometimes subconsciously. You see the weight creeping up but tell yourself, "I deserve this comfort/enjoyment/safety right now, I'll lose the little bit of weight once things get better". But the 5 lbs becomes 10 becomes 20 and now you feel like a failure which makes you double down on the comfort/stress/safety eating. Poof.
Making sure you deal with all the reasons you became overweight while you are losing weight, and planning new reactions & habits, hobbies & comforts before you actually get to maintenance is key IMHO.
I am a data geek. The data gives me the comfort and safety that I used to look for in food and in rules around food. It's why I expect to continue logging for the foreseeable future. I've also become more active, which gives me more food freedom, assuming I retain my health. Logging and walking have helped me maintain for a couple of years, knock on wood this will continue.
19 -
This is one of the reasons I wonder if maintaining a small deficit during the week to eat more on the weekend might be a good idea for me. It is what I do now anyway and it keeps me from ever getting out of this mode completely. I don't know until I get there and try it though (assuming that is still my plan).
That's exactly what I do, and I've been able to maintain for several years. Slight deficit during the week so I can go a little over maintenance calories on the weekend. I maintain in exactly the same way I lost weight, just with a few hundred extra calories available to me. That's been the key for me...nothing much changed when I hit my goal weight.5
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