How do people gain weight back?
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For me in the past, weight regain has been triggered by illness or injury which greatly reduced my activity level. I have lupus and a flare can put me flat on my back. It’s very difficult to stay motivated to be slim when everything hurts for months at a time. It’s not that I didn’t know I was gaining weight, it’s that I didn’t care enough at the time to take action.10
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WARNING: My post below might be triggering for some.
I lost and regained 80-ish pounds twice; I'm currently losing weight for the 3rd and hopefully last time.
The first time I hit my goal weight and almost immediately resumed eating my previous normal. I was in a new relationship that was, frankly, food based. We loved to eat. He was already big and I caught up and regained in a couple of years.
The second time, I was really frustrated with my girth and went to extreme measures to lose it. I lost quickly (and expensively) using Medifast. I hit goal weight and had no idea what to do. I started swapping out similar calorie regular foods for the Medifast foods. I managed to maintain that loss for about 5 years.
Then "life" happened. I was hit with a surprise divorce; he was my entire support system. I suddenly found myself with no home, no friends and no family. I was in full blown survival panic and actually lost a lot of weight because I wasn't eating. I was also in full hormonal peri-menopause. Through sheer determination after a series of unfortunate mistakes, I finally landed on my feet.
After the divorce, I rented a room from a woman close in age who told me she was a nursing student and a waitress. It turns out she was a stripper and a drug dealer. I kept to myself and saved money to get out once I found out the truth. I'm a teacher. I had to get out quickly, but had no money to do so and no support network to help. Unfortunately, her house was raided and I was (briefly) arrested. I incurred no charges because the authorities quickly figured out I was not involved--still super stressful. I was able to rent a small apartment, by myself. It was glorious! Life was good. I had my own space and was able to cook meals. I cooked comfort foods, not health foods...I decided to foster a dog from my volunteer workplace (dog trainer at a shelter). I quickly realized that the dog could not live in an apartment. I had to find a house or return him to certain death (no exaggeration).
I found a "too good to be true" deal on a house that a fellow teacher owned. She wanted to keep the house but move in with her boyfriend. Great location, great price (rental). The huge caveat was that the house came with a built in room mate. My coworker who owned the house was an older female like me and she assured me George was safe and easy to live with. He was a professor at the University of Texas. Super smart and kept to himself, but friendly and quirky. He was okay, I thought. My foster dog had a yard! I had the whole 4/3 house to myself minus the master bedroom, which was a self contained studio with a separate entrance. George and I got along fine. The dog bonded with him. All was well. UNTIL...he committed suicide in MY portion of the house in a bedroom I used for storage. I lived with the body for several days because I didn't know. I didn't know.... I didn't know why the dog suddenly regressed and started attacking me. I didn't know where George was. I didn't know why my house was starting to smell. After I found out, I had to live in the house for the rest of my lease (10 months)! The landlord/co-worker would not let me out of the lease.That room was a disaster. All my possessions stored in there were ruined. It was not a nice, tidy death. The dog regularly attacked me after that because he was so traumatized. I was traumatized. The room had to have a "crime scene" clean. The landlord did not want to do it because it's expensive, so she closed the room and ignored it. I ate, and ate, and ate. I wanted to die along with George.
I finally saved enough money to get out of that <now> haunted hell hole and buy my own brand new, never been lived in house. No dead bodies. George did his deed in 10/2016. I moved out in 8/2017. I'm just now starting to get over it. The dog is now my dog! I'm just now feeling ready to tackle my weight. I was not a priority for a number of years. Escaping George's demons and healing myself and my dog were my top priorities.
Life. Happened. In a big, ugly way.55 -
Boy is that a loaded question. Speaking from experience and years of yo yo dieting the big reason I gained back the weight (as do SO many others) is that I looked at the diet as a finite thing. I'd go on it, lose the weight and go off it. Finally I realized that I had to make changes that I could and would stick with for life. Seems that many don't "get that."
There are other reasons; e.g., at a lower weight you need fewer calories and that might be hard for some. I'm in the National Weight Control Registry and one thing many have in common is that they get at least 60 minutes/day of exercise. When losing weight some will commit to that level of exercise but slip once the weight is lost.
And there are probably as many reasons why people gain back the weight as there are people who have gained back the weight.3 -
texasredreb wrote: »WARNING: My post below might be triggering for some.
George was safe and easy to live with. He was a professor at the University of Texas. Super smart and kept to himself, but friendly and quirky. He was okay, I thought. My foster dog had a yard! I had the whole 4/3 house to myself minus the master bedroom, which was a self contained studio with a separate entrance. George and I got along fine. The dog bonded with him. All was well. UNTIL...he committed suicide in MY portion of the house in a bedroom I used for storage. I lived with the body for several days because I didn't know. I didn't know.... I didn't know why the dog suddenly regressed and started attacking me. I didn't know where George was. I didn't know why my house was starting to smell. After I found out, I had to live in the house for the rest of my lease (10 months)! The landlord/co-worker would not let me out of the lease.That room was a disaster. All my possessions stored in there were ruined. It was not a nice, tidy death. The dog regularly attacked me after that because he was so traumatized. I was traumatized. The room had to have a "crime scene" clean. The landlord did not want to do it because it's expensive, so she closed the room and ignored it. I ate, and ate, and ate. I wanted to die along with George.
I finally saved enough money to get out of that <now> haunted hell hole and buy my own brand new, never been lived in house. No dead bodies. George did his deed in 10/2016. I moved out in 8/2017. I'm just now starting to get over it. The dog is now my dog! I'm just now feeling ready to tackle my weight. I was not a priority for a number of years. Escaping George's demons and healing myself and my dog were my top priorities.
Life. Happened. In a big, ugly way.
My grandma rented out her basement to a nice older guy, who also did something similar, except he had the courtesy of doing it in the driveway
I was just a kid and was only involved peripherally, but it still had an impact-I can't imagine what you went through -hugs- 2 -
Life happens. For many people, the issue is comfort/stress eating, or they have psychological issues all tied up in their eating habits, or their weight was a defense mechanism. Once the priority of "weight loss" is gone, all those stressors come back into play, quietly and sometimes subconsciously. You see the weight creeping up but tell yourself, "I deserve this comfort/enjoyment/safety right now, I'll lose the little bit of weight once things get better". But the 5 lbs becomes 10 becomes 20 and now you feel like a failure which makes you double down on the comfort/stress/safety eating. Poof.
The bolded comment is something that I don't think gets mentioned often. Especially for women, at least so I've read, they can find they start getting more attention than they're used to once they lose weight. For some, it's unwanted and very unwelcome. Those women start to feel that their fat was their defense against that attention, and they regain the weight so they can feel comfortably ignored again. (Those women may not be the ones who come back and try again to lose the excess weight, but it is one reason why some people regain and don't do anything about it.)
For myself, I've regained about 12lbs or so from where I was at last summer. I've had a few unfortunate things happen recently, and although I'm quite disgusted with myself for letting my emotional eating get out of hand, I'm not in the right place mentally to deal with it just yet. I've been making all kinds of excuses not to do anything about it - but at least I do realise that they're just excuses. I know what I need to do, and I'll do it when I feel able to. Until then, I just need to try not to let things get any worse!9 -
I have had this problem in the past , in what can only be described as yoyo dieting. I think the hardest thing for me has always been losing the right amount of weight, but then not keeping a firm hand on it, by going to maintenance, instead saying today i can have a cheat meal and that 1 meal then turns into days and weeks and then im back again. Its breaking the habit and keeping at a deficit for a while after getting to GW.1
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My grandma rented out her basement to a nice older guy, who also did something similar, except he had the courtesy of doing it in the driveway I was just a kid and was only involved peripherally, but it still had an impact-I can't imagine what you went through -hugs-
Thank you. That event was the single most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. George and I weren't close. We were friendly and cordial, but we didn't "hang out" or spend much time together at all. His suicide changed me forever and not for the better. I can't imagine if that were someone I cared for and loved rather than a person who didn't mean anything to me other than he was another human being. Turns out, he had a huge network of people who cared about him. They all gravitated to my house after news got out and attempted to make shrines on my lawn, porch, driveway, etc. They wanted to come inside and see that room. They wanted to talk to me. I wanted nothing to do with them. I wanted them all to go away and leave me alone. It was a horrible, horrible time.
I guess the OP's question was a bit triggering for me! I know he didn't mean it in an accusatory way, but it struck a nerve--big time.
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I reached my goal weight 3 years ago and have kept it off. But last year I was on a vacation for a week and upon returning was horrified to see I had gained 6 pounds!
I kinda snapped and made sure I lost those 6 pounds right away (took about 3 weeks).
So now I’m extra vigilant about my weight because it’s staggering how fast it can return.
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No comment.2
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As soon as I notice my weight going up five pounds I’m like f that and check myself before 5lbs leads to 10lbs and so on.
Peoples lives get busy, other priorities... their health not one.1 -
I quit losing weight staying faithfully on the same calorie amounts daily / weekly... The past year I have even gained a few pounds and keep swinging between 245 - 248 every few days. I have resigned that I must be on maintenance levels now. I am following the settings and have logged daily since May 2016!! I initially got down to 235 and was like in heaven with the results then slowly my body started gaining again.. very perplexing as I never go over my calories!! EVER!2
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texasredreb wrote: »My grandma rented out her basement to a nice older guy, who also did something similar, except he had the courtesy of doing it in the driveway I was just a kid and was only involved peripherally, but it still had an impact-I can't imagine what you went through -hugs-
Thank you. That event was the single most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. George and I weren't close. We were friendly and cordial, but we didn't "hang out" or spend much time together at all. His suicide changed me forever and not for the better. I can't imagine if that were someone I cared for and loved rather than a person who didn't mean anything to me other than he was another human being. Turns out, he had a huge network of people who cared about him. They all gravitated to my house after news got out and attempted to make shrines on my lawn, porch, driveway, etc. They wanted to come inside and see that room. They wanted to talk to me. I wanted nothing to do with them. I wanted them all to go away and leave me alone. It was a horrible, horrible time.
I guess the OP's question was a bit triggering for me! I know he didn't mean it in an accusatory way, but it struck a nerve--big time.
I had a very similar experience except it was my husband. I tried to stay in the house but eventually gave in and moved out of the house that I had at one time loved. Things such as that can drive you into a downward spiral...hard to climb back out.
Yes...we all have different reasons for losing control and gaining or regaining the weight. At times you feel helpless to control it. At times you ask yourself is it really worth it. Most of the time, at least for myself, it is more question of am I really worth the effort. Our brains...our emotions...our lives are complicated and we become to overwhelmed to do the things that we know we should do. So...IMO...no matter how many times we have to restart...there is always hope.20 -
Several times over the years I lost weight (20-50 lbs.) via crash dieting (Stillmans, Atkins, etc.) but then couldn't maintain it once I stopped counting carbs or calories and went back to normal eating. I'd also go from an occasional treat or meal out to daily treats and meals out. Beer or ice cream became beer and ice cream - every day. The problem was compounded by being in denial. When I knew I was eating too much or too much of the wrong things, I just wouldn't weigh myself. I knew I wouldn't like the answer, so I just ignored the question of how much I had gained. I had years where I never weighed myself. I usually wear loose clothes, and thanks to vanity sizing I was generally able to wear the same size when I bought new, so the creeping weight gain was easy to deny. Add to that a lifestyle where I was intermittently getting a lot of exercise, so my weight was easy to control, followed by periods of being mostly sedentary. I'd lose weight when active and gain it back when sedentary, so I could just tell myself that it was okay, I'd take care of the weight later. I did, but not always as much as I hoped, because it got harder and harder to maintain focus. i.e. lose 50, gain 20, lose 10, gain 15, lose 20, gain 10 - it's a never ending see saw, but ultimately you end up back where you started, or worse.
Since joining MFP, I've been able to maintain my weight loss for about 7 years, but with some minor yoyos when I was travelling. I've been lucky. I have mostly been able to keep up my activity at a fairly high level so I haven't had to really restrict calories. My emotional/family life has been stable. (I'm a stress eater.) As long as I'm home, I can cook healthy meals and track how much I am eating. For me, that's key. If I don't consciously count calories, the portions get larger and the treats get more frequent. Though even there, I can be in denial. ATM, I'm dealing with injury, so running less. Most of my daily calorie counts are over my limit. My weight is going up. Just a few pounds so far, but it's a bad start. I tell myself it doesn't matter because I was a bit underweight so what's a few pounds? But I know from past experience that my next step is to stop weighing myself so I can deny what's happening. This time, I refuse to do that.7 -
texasredreb wrote: »My grandma rented out her basement to a nice older guy, who also did something similar, except he had the courtesy of doing it in the driveway I was just a kid and was only involved peripherally, but it still had an impact-I can't imagine what you went through -hugs-
Thank you. That event was the single most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. George and I weren't close. We were friendly and cordial, but we didn't "hang out" or spend much time together at all. His suicide changed me forever and not for the better. I can't imagine if that were someone I cared for and loved rather than a person who didn't mean anything to me other than he was another human being. Turns out, he had a huge network of people who cared about him. They all gravitated to my house after news got out and attempted to make shrines on my lawn, porch, driveway, etc. They wanted to come inside and see that room. They wanted to talk to me. I wanted nothing to do with them. I wanted them all to go away and leave me alone. It was a horrible, horrible time.
I guess the OP's question was a bit triggering for me! I know he didn't mean it in an accusatory way, but it struck a nerve--big time.
I had a very similar experience except it was my husband. I tried to stay in the house but eventually gave in and moved out of the house that I had at one time loved. Things such as that can drive you into a downward spiral...hard to climb back out.
Yes...we all have different reasons for losing control and gaining or regaining the weight. At times you feel helpless to control it. At times you ask yourself is it really worth it. Most of the time, at least for myself, it is more question of am I really worth the effort. Our brains...our emotions...our lives are complicated and we become to overwhelmed to do the things that we know we should do. So...IMO...no matter how many times we have to restart...there is always hope.
I'm so sorry for what you went through. It was horrible for me and I was not close to him. It would be exponentially more difficult in every way if I were more than an acquaintance. Hugs to you.
From the time of my unexpected divorce until recently, my diet and health were not on the forefront of my concerns. I had so much more going on that what I ate didn't matter as long as I ate. Food was comforting for me when things started settling down. I really don't have many regrets about my eating. It happened. Now I'm ready to undo it. Hopefully my ability to lose weight again is as resilient as the rest of me.8 -
Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing"...
That's my thinking, too. It's such a huge accomplishment to get to goal. Thinking about all that effort and struggle, getting to goal and how good it feels to be fit - then just letting it all go to waste does not compute in my brain. I can't imagine gaining more than a few pounds back before noticing and taking corrective action. I WOULD NOTICE if I went up a size. Mentally, I can't/won't give up the accomplishments that I've achieved.
I've been at maintenance for over 8 years now, staying within 5 pounds of goal the whole time. I'm stubborn like that. But that's just me. I get that a lot of people get distracted by various things in life and don't necessarily notice changes until something big grabs their attention. So even though I can't understand it personally, I don't really judge others for gaining their weight back. It's just differences in personality I think.
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Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
Life happens.
All of a sudden you find yourself in a position where watching what you eat and exercising is either very difficult or impossible.
I have been slender for the vast majority of my life, but when there's a combination of a health issue and a household move, I tend to gain weight because I'm not as active and because I'm focusing on other things.
Also some of us can gain and lose 2 or 3 kg due to water retention. So if I happen to go up 2 kg, it's easy to say, "Ah but that's just water retention, I'll lose that next week.", and maybe I drop 1.5 kg and think, "OK good, the weight is coming down". But it doesn't come all the way down to where it was ...4 -
Once i begin slipping its so much easier to think "well *kitten* whats some more chocolate iv been eating badly anyway.." Vs to think i need to say no to a deeply engrained self soothing technique. My focus waivers, My determination slips, Life happens.
Side note the "5 pounds up can happen after a buffet" mindset sure got me in trouble during it lol. Denial is very powerful. Im on the top end of my range? well its okay its mostly water weight anyway....What you have cookies?? just a few-I ate badly yesterday anyway whats a bit more...
edit to side note: i also began dating a feeder which i never saw happening ever. Who expects that? Its hard to eat really well and fight the cravings when i know hes likely to just show up later and guilt me to see him with pizza anyway lol5 -
@SeanD2407 Last year as I got within 5 lb of my arbitrary weight goal, I decided to increase my calories slightly and lose weight slowly. That seemed like a sensible plan, but by the time I came to my senses I'd gained 50 lb.
Goal is not a number. Goal is a life. When you lose sight of the fact that you are living to live healthy and fit, you lose sight of good health and fitness. Yes, it is a tautology, but it's the truth.
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The only way for me to not gain weight back and lose track, is to weigh myself every day. That will keep me in check.2
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