When will people notice my weight loss

mimimunchery
mimimunchery Posts: 69 Member
edited December 21 in Health and Weight Loss
I am totally losing weight for myself and my health. BUT a little recognition never hurts right...😊

So I am female, 41 years old and 5’8”. J currently weigh about 182 or 180 lbs. I’ve lost about 20 lbs since January and about 17 or 18 lbs since March when I started really working hard. My BMI has gone from nearly 31 to about 27.5 or 28. So out of the obese range and firmly in the middle of overweight. Clothes are fitting better and I think looking nicer.

BUT literally NOBODY has commented on my weight. Not my husband (who I haven’t told about my efforts - all he knows is that I’ve been doing strength training with a personal trainer). Not friends. No one.

Is it really not noticeable? I know I was quite chubby to start and I am still pretty chubby, but is there really no observable difference?

So I’m wondering - when do people start actually noticing weight loss? Especially taller women with 30-50 lbs to lose.

Thanks!
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Replies

  • Unknown
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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,698 Member
    This ^^

    And people didn't start (very cautiously ) asking until I was down about 30 lbs.
  • wannabeskinnycat
    wannabeskinnycat Posts: 205 Member
    Could also be that they see you most days and they can’t notice the difference. What about people who haven’t seen you since January?

    Regardless of them noticing, you know and are proud of yourself. Maybe show them a pre January pic (in general conversation) and see if they notice. Even celebrate your 20lb loss and mention it to friends. Well done you :smile:
  • koalathebear
    koalathebear Posts: 236 Member
    I feel your pain. I've lost 22kg and I've had wary comments from male colleagues along the lines of:

    "Have you cut your hair?"
    "Your face looks thinner - have you lost weight?"
    "You are looking healthier."

    I've worn really baggy clothes since I got heavy so to be honest, for me the weight loss might not have been quite so noticeable.

    I find it's the women who are more likely to comment on weight loss. Some very observant people noticed at the 8kg mark but I found that people didn't really seem to notice until I was around the 10-15kg mark. In any case, congratulations! You know what you've achieved :)
  • Panini911
    Panini911 Posts: 2,325 Member
    most people are nervous to mention it until it's blatantly obvious.

    I got a ton of comments and questions a plenty after maybe 30lb (i'm 5'1) . some threaded cautiously first asking if i was ok/had been sick.
  • yuko0407
    yuko0407 Posts: 67 Member
    Redordeadhead wrote: »
    However, I find that some people are just really cautious about commenting on someone's weight, even if they notice. I never really say to someone "oh, you've gained/lost weight" because I have no idea if it was intentional, if they're sensitive about it or if they even want my opinion.
    This.
    I would never dare to comment on someone's weight if not invited to, in one way or another.
    And... congratulations for your loss!
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  • echmain3
    echmain3 Posts: 231 Member
    Commenting on a person’s weight in today’s workplace is absolutely forbidden.

    Even if done so in a positive, congratulatory way.

    Such a comment can get you escorted to the door.

  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    For me it was at about the 35 pounds down mark and the first comment was kind of humorous... She asked if I was losing weight on purpose, lol. I guess some people thought I might be sick. I have also since encountered people who think it's rude to comment on weight loss just like on weight gain so......... You may have to be patient.
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,179 Member
    You could try to wear more form fitting clothing?
  • SuzySunshine99
    SuzySunshine99 Posts: 2,989 Member
    Most people are cautious about commenting on your weight, even in a positive way.

    For people who see you every day (husband, family, co-workers), it may actually take them longer to notice if the loss is relatively gradual.

    When I lost weight it was veryyyy slowly. The only people who commented were people who hadn't seen me in a while. Even for my husband, he didn't quite realize how much weight I had lost until he saw a photo of me from a year before and said "holy crap, you lost a lot of weight!"
  • Larissa_NY
    Larissa_NY Posts: 495 Member
    "When will people notice?" is not the same question as "When will people start commenting on it?"

    Depending on where you lose weight from first, it could take them a short time to notice or a long time. As for when they'll start saying something about it - fortunately, more and more people are getting the message that it isn't okay to comment on other people's bodies.
  • VioletRojo
    VioletRojo Posts: 597 Member
    Most people are taught that it's rude to comment on other peoples bodies. I wouldn't say anything to anyone who wasn't a very close friend.
  • BattyKnitter
    BattyKnitter Posts: 503 Member
    edited May 2019
    I have only had 1 or 2 people comment at work who weren't close friends or family and aware that I was making some changes for my health. I'd honestly rather strangers/acquaintances not comment on my body, makes me feel awkward if someone is paying that much attention!

    Am I the only one who finds it really weird when people don't share with their partners that they have been making these changes? I share everything with hubby and he has been my biggest cheerleader through this process. With someone who sees you everyday though the change is very gradual so they might not notice!
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  • mimimunchery
    mimimunchery Posts: 69 Member
    Update!!! I went to a party for my daughter’s co-op preschool and a mom who I am friendly with but only see about once every month or so was like “ oh my god have you lost weight you loo great”. Kind of made my evening 😊(especially since I was eating chocolate chip cookies at the time!)

    But in all seriousness you guys are right. Most people don’t feel comfortable commenting and that’s totally fine.
  • funjen1972
    funjen1972 Posts: 949 Member
    When I notice weight loss I typically don't mention it, especially to a colleague. Work is no place to comment on personal appearance or an individual's body unless it is to address unprofessional attire. The liabilities are just too high in today's 'I'm offended' workplace.

    The closest I come even with friends is 'Wow, you are looking great!' or a genuine compliment "that dress is fantastic on you - it hits all the right curves'. I won't inquire about weight loss because I might be wrong and unintentionally imply that I think my friend needs to lose weight.
  • neugebauer52
    neugebauer52 Posts: 1,120 Member
    I am with MFP for just over 400 days and have lost 33 kg. People I see once a day to once a week have not noticed - those people I see very occasionally (every 6 months or so) comment immediately - great feeling, wouldn't mind more comments...
  • wmweeza
    wmweeza Posts: 319 Member
    Truthfully no one noticed until I hit 80 pounds....but then again I work at home so I don't see a ton of people. At 60 pounds no one noticed. I went home for Christmas and was around family and friends that hadn't seen me in 2 years....NO ONE noticed, I was quite bummed by that.
    I think some people aren't observant, others are too polite to comment on someones weight, and truthfully some just don't care. I'm not in it for the praise, I'm in it for the long life gains :)
  • ghudson92
    ghudson92 Posts: 2,061 Member
    I've lost 17lbs and honestly no one has noticed but me. My partner realised when I showed him a before and after picture. Drawing from my own experience, I generally don't comment on people's weight loss unless I know them really well and know it won't make them self conscious. You alone know how much progress you've made and you should be really proud of yourself :smile:
  • aokoye
    aokoye Posts: 3,495 Member
    funjen1972 wrote: »
    When I notice weight loss I typically don't mention it, especially to a colleague. Work is no place to comment on personal appearance or an individual's body unless it is to address unprofessional attire. The liabilities are just too high in today's 'I'm offended' workplace.

    The closest I come even with friends is 'Wow, you are looking great!' or a genuine compliment "that dress is fantastic on you - it hits all the right curves'. I won't inquire about weight loss because I might be wrong and unintentionally imply that I think my friend needs to lose weight.
    They may also have lost weight due to among other things, cancer, an eating disorder, depression (which can cause people to lose their appetite), etc. And yes, I know people who have lost weight because of all of these things. I actually probably know one person who has lost weight at different times over the course of their life due to having all of those diagnoses. That's why congratulating someone for their weight loss, especially when you don't know if it was intentional, is not always advisable.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    It depends on where your weight has come off, how observant people are, how they feel about randomly commenting on others’ weight.
  • frida001
    frida001 Posts: 437 Member
    Let me applaud you. But know that many people see weight as a very personal thing and won't comment. It's not considered politically correct. I once commented that someone had lost weight. They started crying and stated that I was body shaming them. Never again.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    mimimunchery wrote: »
    I am totally losing weight for myself and my health. BUT a little recognition never hurts right...😊

    So I am female, 41 years old and 5’8”. J currently weigh about 182 or 180 lbs. I’ve lost about 20 lbs since January and about 17 or 18 lbs since March when I started really working hard. My BMI has gone from nearly 31 to about 27.5 or 28. So out of the obese range and firmly in the middle of overweight. Clothes are fitting better and I think looking nicer.

    BUT literally NOBODY has commented on my weight. Not my husband (who I haven’t told about my efforts - all he knows is that I’ve been doing strength training with a personal trainer). Not friends. No one.

    Is it really not noticeable? I know I was quite chubby to start and I am still pretty chubby, but is there really no observable difference?

    So I’m wondering - when do people start actually noticing weight loss? Especially taller women with 30-50 lbs to lose.

    Thanks!

    Commenting on another persons weight is somewhat taboo. Even if it's meant to compliment, a lot of people don't take it that way. There are tons of threads here with people wishing others would not comment. I would personally never comment on a persons weight unless they specifically brought it up.

    Other things you have to consider...the changes in your body from weight loss are slow and subtle...even we sometimes don't really see it in the mirror...people who see you regularly and particularly daily might not really notice because things are happening so subtly.

    I lost a total of 40 Lbs...the only person who ever really commented was from a lady friend of mine who I hadn't seen in probably a year when I bumped into her at the gym. I don't really count my wife and family because we had open discussions about what I was doing.
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