I'm not really sure what's happening

Maxematics

I just want to preface this post by saying that I've been around these forums for a while and have always found them helpful. I never thought I'd post something like this and I feel kind of embarrassed about it but I'm hoping that there are people who have had a similar issue and can maybe give me advice.

I started MFP in June 2015 at 139 pounds; I'm 5'3", 34 years old. I lost 20 pounds within the first 2.5 months and eventually got down to 107ish by July 2016. Since then it's been up and down; whenever my weight gets that low I end up rebounding to 115. The worst time was when I hit 125 in December 2017. Sidenote that there is nothing wrong with being 125 pounds, it's just not the right weight for me. I used to do IF a few years ago and just really didn't see the benefits, eventually lost my period, then ended up being super hungry all the time and gaining back some weight. It took like a year to bounce back from that.

This leads me to now. I got down to 108 pounds around a month ago and then my period was late but eventually came and only lasted a few days. Also there is zero chance of pregnancy in case anyone thinks to ask. Since then I've been battling excessive hunger. I've stopped trying to fight it and just let my body do its thing; some days I eat more and some I eat less. I figure that maybe the very low end of the BMI range isn't my happy place. I wasn't trying to lose weight either as my goal is maintenance it just seems to happen as I lose my appetite due to work stress, etc. I've stopped weighing in daily because post binge weights exacerbate my anxiety and guilt. I've stopped tracking food for the same reasons as I was becoming obsessive. I felt like I just needed to hit reset.

At first I felt better but now I feel like it's getting worse. Today was the worst of all as I've just finished eating ~1500 calories on top of what had to be a minimum of 2500 for the day already. I also feel zero discomfort or fullness and like I could even eat more food.

To give more background, I'm pretty active. I workout 45 minutes to an hour six days per week. I do resistance training four times per week and do straight cardio two times per week. My heart rate is high during resistance training; I'm not doing super heavy low rep sets with breaks. I also usually get 12 to 20K steps on my Fitbit with an estimated TDEE that's usually between 2000 and 2500. I'm fairly muscular and lean aside from my stomach these days due to water weight bloat. I've been working out consistently for years and I'm pretty fit.

Thanks if you've read all of this so far. My whole point is I'm not really sure why I feel so desperately hungry. I also get days where I feel too exhausted to do anything beyond my morning workout and shower. That's usually on the weekends. I get around six hours of sleep per night but I try so hard to get more. On the weekends I do get a bit more because my brain isn't thinking about my job. I don't like the feeling of being ravenous even right after eating hundreds of calories. It's concerning and I obviously want to get a handle on it before it gets out of control. I always seem to but I really don't want to gain ten pounds back just to feel too soft and try to cut again. I'm curious if anyone, especially anyone with stats similar to mine, has gone through something similar. I'm wondering if I should actually see a doctor at this point. I'm so confused, upset, and tired of going through this and feeling like I have to fight tooth and nail against myself.

Thanks again if you've read this; I appreciate it.

RAinWA

A trip to the doctor sounds like a good plan. There could be something going on. I know when my Vit D levels were in the basement I was exhausted and starving all the time. Worth a check up.

Tankiscool

Hun I am not sure what is going on with your hunger. But from the sounds of it. Seems like you have alot going on. Maybe you just need to take a break from it all? Like a week off of work and just get away from things?
Half of the battle is mental state of mind and on the weekends it appears you are just able to recover from a long *kitten* week and not really do much of what you enjoy.
Could be you just need a break?

kimny72

I agree, go get bloodwork done. Deficiencies like Vit D or iron can sneak up on you. The cycle change might mean a hormonal issue.

I'm sorry your struggling, hang in there :flowerforyou:

snickerscharlie

Agree with getting blood work done. Also have your thyroid levels checked. Keep us posted!

Maxematics

First off, I really want to thank everyone who commented and/or showed my initial post support. Waking up to that this morning made me feel a lot better. Instead of making several posts in response, I'm going to respond to the comments in this one post.

Those who commented about getting bloodwork and/or my thyroid levels checked; I agree. I have some time off coming up and now that I have a pretty good health insurance plan, I think it's a wise decision. If everything is normal, at least I know so there's really no harm in getting everything checked. Thank you.

About needing a break, I think that may be true. Luckily for me I have a decent one coming up. I'm a full time math teacher and also teach two phys ed classes per week. The end of the year is really hectic and my brain is always focusing on all the things I have to get done to the point where it's hard to rest. I'll be so tired at the end of the day but can't stay asleep to save my life. I've been taking this liquid sleep inducer vitamin at the end of the night and it's been working thus far but it's only been a week so I can't say for sure. I think I also needed a mental break from tracking my food or weighing myself, so I've at least been doing that. I don't want to develop a poor relationship with food or tread the line of an ED because I feel like that's where I'm headed if I keep worrying so much.

As far as my weight being too low, I don't disagree. 105 is the lowest healthy weight for my height and it isn't my goal. In times of extreme stress, I don't have an appetite and that combined with moving around all day is usually when I hit that low weight. When that happens, I incorporate more calorie dense foods (spoon or two of PB before bed) and make it a point to bring myself back up to 113ish. Staying between 110 and 115 is my happy range; it's where I feel best, perform best, and look best. However, that's something I'm in control of and okay with; I'm not okay with feeling desperately hungry after eating 2000 calories. To me that's letting me know something isn't right.

I've looked up a new PCP since I have a new health insurance plan and intend on scheduling an appointment. In the meantime, I've ordered some B12 and vitamin D in liquid form. I get around 400% vitamin D daily through my supplements but maybe I'm not absorbing it. I've been a vegetarian for almost a year so my B12 could also be low.

Thanks again everyone for the responses; I truly cannot express how grateful I am.

jan110144

Just one more comment. When I started maintenance. I experienced something similar. I bounced between inmvereating/binging and getting back on track for over a month. I finally changed my eating by upping my calories at a TDEE (estimating on the higher side, since I am very active) and not eating back exercise calories. Bingo! That did the trick!!

Turns out that I just was not eating enough. I am surprised that I'm eating so much, but I have not had the yoyoing experience since. I have even lost a bit more, which means I will be upping my TDEE number a bit since I don't want to lose more.

Maxematics

jan110144 wrote: »

Just one more comment. When I started maintenance. I experienced something similar. I bounced between inmvereating/binging and getting back on track for over a month. I finally changed my eating by upping my calories at a TDEE (estimating on the higher side, since I am very active) and not eating back exercise calories. Bingo! That did the trick!!

Turns out that I just was not eating enough. I am surprised that I'm eating so much, but I have not had the yoyoing experience since. I have even lost a bit more, which means I will be upping my TDEE number a bit since I don't want to lose more.

Thank you for this. I've long suspected that I may burn off more than my Fitbit says I do. I have more muscle mass than the average woman with my stats which can change things and I wear it on my left wrist but have the settings as it being on my dominant wrist. That's why I've stopped tracking as the red/green numbers mess with my head too much even though I don't like to admit it. I want to just let my body do its thing and go from there. I'd rather weigh more and not feel ravenous all day than weigh less and feel like I could eat my entire pantry.

AngelLizbeth

Sounds like you are estrogen dominance. The problem is that the tests your doc will do may not be sufficient to notice this but your symptoms sound like it. Google it and see for yourself. I had most the same problems and went online and got a non phamaceutical to help me reduce the amount of estrogen my body was storing. Since then I have at last been able to shift a bit of weight and become a sane human being again from all the moodiness of being estrogen dominant. Wishing you loads of success with your weightloss and health journey...

Maxematics

AngelLizbeth wrote: »

Sounds like you are estrogen dominance. The problem is that the tests your doc will do may not be sufficient to notice this but your symptoms sound like it. Google it and see for yourself. I had most the same problems and went online and got a non phamaceutical to help me reduce the amount of estrogen my body was storing. Since then I have at last been able to shift a bit of weight and become a sane human being again from all the moodiness of being estrogen dominant. Wishing you loads of success with your weightloss and health journey...

Thanks for responding; I appreciate it. I'm not sure what my estrogen levels are but I've never had a problem shifting weight. I actually started losing weight at the border of normal and overweight on the BMI scale and I'm now on the lower end of the BMI range for my height and I'm pretty lean. My goal is also maintaining my weight, not weight loss, as that would put me in the underweight category which I definitely do not want.

Noreenmarie1234

I felt the same way when I was maintaining on lower than I should have been. I slowly upped my calories and have been maintaining on 2100-2600 for years and feel SO much better. (About the same size as you and less active). I just have energy to do things now! I was maintaining at a lower amount, yes, but felt sluggish, every day was a struggle, was starving, workouts were a struggle and I didn't perform my best, etc. (thus kind of like living in a forced lower TDEE state)

I have a feeling you can maintain on more and would feel more energized and satisfied. It is worth a shot to up your maintenance for a few weeks slowly to see if you feel better. You are more active than I am and say your TDEE is less, so I think it could be an underestimate. Especially if you feel hungry.

NovusDies

While waiting for the doctor appointment I would make a list of everything that you can think of that has changed no matter how inconsequential it may seem. Try to think of any changes in habits, any changes in food, work out routines, work, emotional situations, medications, supplements, financial obligations, etc. If you got a new car before this started I would write it down because it might make you think of something else. This list is for you not for the forum, btw.

I would also journal your days and times and situations when your hunger seems worse. I know you are not logging your food on MFP but you might want to write it down in a journal without the calories.

It may be a pointless exercise but it might help give you some questions to ask the doctor.

pontious11349

Apart from the period problem im the same LOL. Same age, same sleep, same training volume...same yo-yo binges and guilt.... I actually started my own thread on this a few weeks ago and I think even just writing it down helped.

I've since dumped the scales (bathroom and kitchen) and gone on my energy levels only. My workouts have improved and I feel better /stronger. Not sure if im heavier but im not losing definition...might even be improving. Time will tell.

Anyway moral of story - I chilled out about the numbers and i somehow feel much better. You look in great shape so i figure if you just eat well and train hard you cant really go wrong. I could go on a lot about what eating well means but as that's not the aim of your thread ill refrain

erickirb

I would be exhausted and hunger only getting 6 hours of sleep per day. To function at my best I need 7.5-8.5 hours.

So aside from getting some blood work, I suggest working on getting more sleep. Maybe check out a sleep clinic

corinasue1143

You say “in times of extreme stress” you aren’t hungry and don’t eat well and lose weight. It is the time right after that you feel hungry and empty and like you could just keep eating. Sounds perfectly normal to me. Your body has been deprived and is crying for help. Just as it didn’t scream for help during the time you weren’t eating, but a few days after, it won’t say Okay I’ve had enough now until a few days after you started feeding it again.
My opinion is that you need to be careful to feed your body well during stressful times so that you don’t stress your body as well as your mind. You probably make an effort to be kind to others. Make the effort to be kind to your body. You make the effort to exercise. Make the effort to always eat well.

Maxematics

Thanks again to anyone else that has responded since my last comment. I truly appreciate all the advice. Again, I'll reply to everything in one post.

@Noreenmarie1234 Thanks a lot for your post. Even though everyone has been helpful, it really drives it home for me to see someone with similar stats that has gone through a similar situation. I agree wholeheartedly and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I think I'm going to stick with not logging for a bit and just eat then after my next cycle is over I'll weigh in again and adjust as needed. I'm kind of scared to step on the scale and possibly mess with my mental state if I see a much higher weight than usual.

@NovusDies That's a great idea and I'll do that. Whenever things happen to me I try to just brush them off. "I shouldn't be tired. I don't need a break from working out because I don't workout hard enough. I don't need more food because I've eaten enough." It's a bad pattern but it's developed from years of being obese, then overweight. It's like I can't wrap my brain around the person I am now and feel like I'm never doing enough.

@pontious11349 Thank you so much. I've started doing that for a few days now and at first I was riddled with anxiety over it but I honestly think you're right and it's what I need to do. If I'm eating well and working out hard, I just need to let my body do the rest and stop trying to micromanage it. I guess in the back of my mind I fear that I'll wake up one day and I'll lose the physique and fitness level I worked so hard for but I know that's irrational thinking.

@erickirb Thanks and I agree. I have no clue why it's been that way, especially in the last year or so. I wake up often and I seem to sleep in three hour intervals. I'll go to bed at 8pm and wake up at 4 am but somehow only manage to get 6 hours of sleep via my Fitbit. On the weekends I can easily take 2 hour naps in the afternoon, sometimes longer due to the lack of sleep during the week. It's hard to get my brain out of work mode on the weekdays. I'm hoping this new liquid vitamin will keep helping with the longer, deeper sleep I've been getting. I also just bought an AC and my apartment is really hot, so hopefully that will also help. I think the most I've gotten is 7.5 hours. One day I slept for 14 because I was so exhausted but that's because I just kept taking naps throughout the day. That's obviously not good either though.

@corinasue1143 You're right. It's easy for me to forget about the weeks of a steep deficit but get caught up on the ones with a huge surplus. Eating a decent amount every day instead of going through these cycles will hopefully help stabilize things. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. Everything you wrote makes so much sense though.

Everyone who has commented here really has given me a lot to think about and I truly appreciate it. Tomorrow is my one rest day per week but I think I need to turn it into a rest week and just take some time to breathe. It's been a long time since I've taken an exercise break and maybe that should help things as well since I'm always sore all the time. Once again, I truly cannot express how grateful I am for everyone's input. Thank you all so much.

rheddmobile

You mentioned becoming a vegetarian - how’s your protein? If I don’t get enough high-quality protein I feel starved, and it can be tricky on a vegetarian diet. It’s also very easy to eat low fat while vegetarian, and some people need more fat to feel satiated. Try playing with your macros and see if it helps.

I’m thinking the main issue is stress and not enough sleep, though. Hope you feel better after your break!

Phirrgus

You've already gotten great feedback, so I'm just tossing in some encouragement for support and I really hope things smooth out for you quickly. Sending good vibes your way.

Maxematics

rheddmobile wrote: »

You mentioned becoming a vegetarian - how’s your protein? If I don’t get enough high-quality protein I feel starved, and it can be tricky on a vegetarian diet. It’s also very easy to eat low fat while vegetarian, and some people need more fat to feel satiated. Try playing with your macros and see if it helps.

I’m thinking the main issue is stress and not enough sleep, though. Hope you feel better after your break!

Thank you. I actually eat more protein than I need. I average about 130 grams per day but it's not unusual for me to hit 150 grams. It's rare that I'm ever below 120 grams. However, in all of my rethinking of things today I did decide to reincorporate fish into my diet to start. As far as I can remember, I wasn't having these issues when fish was in my diet a few days per week.

My macros are usually 40/30/30. In looking back at my last week logged 5/27 to 6/2, I averaged 138 protein (22%), 274 carbs (44%), 95 fat (34%). In case anyone asks about sugar, 77 grams average. 164 protein (35%), 192 carbs (35%), 84 fat (30%), 50g of sugar the prior week. I'm always below my recommended MFP sugars but not for any reason other than I just don't have a big sweet tooth.

Thank you again; I hope I feel better after my break too.

@Phirrgus Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

NovusDies

Maxematics wrote: »

rheddmobile wrote: »

You mentioned becoming a vegetarian - how’s your protein? If I don’t get enough high-quality protein I feel starved, and it can be tricky on a vegetarian diet. It’s also very easy to eat low fat while vegetarian, and some people need more fat to feel satiated. Try playing with your macros and see if it helps.

I’m thinking the main issue is stress and not enough sleep, though. Hope you feel better after your break!

Thank you. I actually eat more protein than I need. I average about 130 grams per day but it's not unusual for me to hit 150 grams. It's rare that I'm ever below 120 grams. However, in all of my rethinking of things today I did decide to reincorporate fish into my diet to start. As far as I can remember, I wasn't having these issues when fish was in my diet a few days per week.

My macros are usually 40/30/30. In looking back at my last week logged 5/27 to 6/2, I averaged 138 protein (22%), 274 carbs (44%), 95 fat (34%). In case anyone asks about sugar, 77 grams average. 164 protein (35%), 192 carbs (35%), 84 fat (30%), 50g of sugar the prior week. I'm always below my recommended MFP sugars but not for any reason other than I just don't have a big sweet tooth.

Thank you again; I hope I feel better after my break too.

@Phirrgus Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

Sugar should not be a problem anyway unless you have some insulin issues. I replaced my sugar column with fiber a very long time ago because it is much more important to me.

apullum

In addition to all the great ideas that have been posted, are you taking any full rest days from your workout routine? Perhaps more than one full rest day? Even though I’m used to my workout routine, if I do just a little more than usual and then don’t get adequate rest, I feel it. What you’re describing—water retention, hunger, fatigue—could all be associated with inadequate recovery time.