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Not Facebook "what's on your mind" appropriate....Freedom to post here..

StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
I know some people post everything on Facebook and I literally mean everything (some of my own family is guilty of this) but I need a place to vent. I've had something literally eating at me for months now that I just need to get off my chest. I don't even necessarily need anyone to respond but I think it will make me feel better to just type it out. Anyway, there may be a topic for this already as I didn't really search for it but feel free to use this as a place to vent.

Replies

  • ghudson92ghudson92 Posts: 672Member Member Posts: 672Member Member
    Sorry to hear about your loss and that your father was inconsiderate towards you at a difficult time. If you know you're healthy then you just need to rise above it :smile:
  • StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
    ghudson92 wrote: »
    Sorry to hear about your loss and that your father was inconsiderate towards you at a difficult time. If you know you're healthy then you just need to rise above it :smile:

    Thank you. Just felt good saying it aloud or typing it in this case.
  • SheepDog26SheepDog26 Posts: 9Member, Premium Member Posts: 9Member, Premium Member
    I'd say that was pretty ballsy and callous to use a funeral as a means to share his opinion. I'm not sure why family feel the need to comment on the weight of others and while death may be an eye-opener for some, using the deceased to push their own opinion is a load of crap.

    Sorry you had to go through that. Maybe he's projecting his own unhappiness?
  • Vikka_VVikka_V Posts: 7,924Member Member Posts: 7,924Member Member
    Wtf, people can be so tactless (myself included).
    I hear you, that would irk me too if someone said something like that.
  • StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
    SheepDog26 wrote: »
    I'd say that was pretty ballsy and callous to use a funeral as a means to share his opinion. I'm not sure why family feel the need to comment on the weight of others and while death may be an eye-opener for some, using the deceased to push their own opinion is a load of crap.

    Sorry you had to go through that. Maybe he's projecting his own unhappiness?

    Who knows. I just haven't been able to let it go. I think there is a time and a place for everything and mostly that just wasn't it.

  • StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Wtf, people can be so tactless (myself included).
    I hear you, that would irk me too if someone said something like that.

    I think it was more how he said it and where he chose to say it at. Also, I hate when people compliment you then turn it into something else. You look nice but...
    I wore a dress which really showed the 25lbs I had lost so he could have just stopped with the compliment. Grrr...the more I talk the more it fires me up. Anyway, thanks for commenting. Your profile pic of your hair is gorgeous btw.
  • InkgirlKCInkgirlKC Posts: 242Member Member Posts: 242Member Member
    Great place to vent!
  • TravisJHuntTravisJHunt Posts: 463Member Member Posts: 463Member Member
    Sorry to hear, that sucks. My dads always been rough on me too. Actually said a few months back when I much heavier, good thing your losing weight, I thought your belly was going to explode. Which is funny because I can run 10ks while he can't walk a flight a stairs. Some people just don't think how their words impact others I guess.
  • caco_ethescaco_ethes Posts: 11,191Member Member Posts: 11,191Member Member
    I don’t know how your relationship with your dad is but is he just expressing his love and concern for you, albeit in an unpleasant way? In my experience, people have all kinds of uncomfortable feelings come up at funerals and they don’t always come out in the best way.

    I’m not trying to diminish how you feel or even play devil’s advocate, just wondering if it makes it easier to let the comment go if it came from a good place.
  • StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I don’t know how your relationship with your dad is but is he just expressing his love and concern for you, albeit in an unpleasant way? In my experience, people have all kinds of uncomfortable feelings come up at funerals and they don’t always come out in the best way.

    I’m not trying to diminish how you feel or even play devil’s advocate, just wondering if it makes it easier to let the comment go if it came from a good place.

    I get where you are coming from and I'm able to step back and look at it from that point of view as well. I'm sure in his mind he thought he was expressing his concern for me, just at a very bad time and in a crappy way.

  • PAFC84PAFC84 Posts: 1,860Member Member Posts: 1,860Member Member
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I don’t know how your relationship with your dad is but is he just expressing his love and concern for you, albeit in an unpleasant way? In my experience, people have all kinds of uncomfortable feelings come up at funerals and they don’t always come out in the best way.

    I’m not trying to diminish how you feel or even play devil’s advocate, just wondering if it makes it easier to let the comment go if it came from a good place.

    Agree with this. Could be coming from a good place but just delivered by someone who is not comfortable and/or good at expressing love/concern.

    I'm assuming you and your dad aren't very close and never have had a great relationship?

    edited June 14
  • StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
    PAFC84 wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    I don’t know how your relationship with your dad is but is he just expressing his love and concern for you, albeit in an unpleasant way? In my experience, people have all kinds of uncomfortable feelings come up at funerals and they don’t always come out in the best way.

    I’m not trying to diminish how you feel or even play devil’s advocate, just wondering if it makes it easier to let the comment go if it came from a good place.

    Agree with this. Could be coming from a good place but just delivered by someone who is not comfortable and/or good at expressing love/concern.

    I'm assuming you and your dad aren't very close and never have had a great relationship?

    Ummmm....that's actually a very hard question to answer but technically yes he feels we have a good relationship as he never feels he does anything wrong.
    And it is possible he meant well and honestly he probably did but he made the assumption that since I wasn't the skinny girl from high school anymore that I wasn't healthy. Just think he could have found a better way to say it and at a better time.

  • tinkerhellraisertinkerhellraiser Posts: 3,525Member Member Posts: 3,525Member Member
    i think youre having a hard time letting it go bc you haven’t told anyone and it upset u a lot

    keeping stuff bottled up, i do that too, like to the point my hair will fall out and my tummy will be sick all the time and just dark cloud in my head

    maybe tell your husband and your bff and get it out irl <3 it’s not your job to hide anyones *kitten* behavior anyways and it sounds like it’s eatin u up
  • PAFC84PAFC84 Posts: 1,860Member Member Posts: 1,860Member Member
    i think youre having a hard time letting it go bc you haven’t told anyone and it upset u a lot

    keeping stuff bottled up, i do that too, like to the point my hair will fall out and my tummy will be sick all the time and just dark cloud in my head

    maybe tell your husband and your bff and get it out irl <3 it’s not your job to hide anyones *kitten* behavior anyways and it sounds like it’s eatin u up

    Also the image of leaving your kids motherless is quite upsetting too so maybe that is playing on your mind.
  • StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
    i think youre having a hard time letting it go bc you haven’t told anyone and it upset u a lot

    keeping stuff bottled up, i do that too, like to the point my hair will fall out and my tummy will be sick all the time and just dark cloud in my head

    maybe tell your husband and your bff and get it out irl <3 it’s not your job to hide anyones *kitten* behavior anyways and it sounds like it’s eatin u up

    Thanks girl! I think you are exactly right! I was hoping writing it down and posting it here would make me feel better. I usually do tell my husband everything but in this case I was trying to hold together what little relationship him and my dad have left. I just didn't want to make matters worse plus at that time he had just lost his mom so it just wasn't the time. I guess I've just been holding onto it for a while now and needed it to be gone.

  • StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
    Sorry to hear, that sucks. My dads always been rough on me too. Actually said a few months back when I much heavier, good thing your losing weight, I thought your belly was going to explode. Which is funny because I can run 10ks while he can't walk a flight a stairs. Some people just don't think how their words impact others I guess.

    Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you've had that experience with your dad. *Hugs
  • Cowsfan1Cowsfan1 Posts: 6,555Member Member Posts: 6,555Member Member
    Sometimes typing it out to a bunch of strangers and getting unbiased feedback helps - at least it does for me at times - hope you can let it go soon - good luck my friend
  • StarliteTaraStarliteTara Posts: 220Member Member Posts: 220Member Member
    Cowsfan1 wrote: »
    Sometimes typing it out to a bunch of strangers and getting unbiased feedback helps - at least it does for me at times - hope you can let it go soon - good luck my friend

    Thank you! I'm glad you understand. Any close friend or family member I tell would blow it up more than they need too or share it with someone else...at least here I don't worry as much. Plus they do all love me so like you said their opinions would be biased. lol! Okay so they don't all love me, just 99% of them.
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