Responding to people who lecture me that I’m killing my metabolism.

AlyssaPetsDogs

I’ve never been a huge breakfast eater unless I have worked out in the morn and eat something after. I usually am set with my coffee and milk and don’t get hungry until noon ish. I might have a snack (cheese stick) if I get really hungry, but usually I wait until I get home and have a decent dinner and one or two snacks. I’ve always been more of a night eater and I can’t stay in my calorie goal happily if I do breakfast and lunch.

Unfortunately, this upsets people. I don’t broadcast my way of eating, but at work or in conversation, I get a lot of flack for not eating lunch and then lectured that I am killing my metabolism and that “thousands of studies show [eating throughout the day/breakfast/not eating after 8pm etc] is best.”

I’m counting calories and I’m of the mindset that if I stay in my calorie goal, I can eat when I please. I’m just tired of being polite.

paperpudding

How do people know you don't eat breakfast?

At work or in conversation you get flack about this?

I suggest not talking about it, don't participate in conversations - and cut short anyone bringing it up with something like Oh well, it works for me.
And then totally ignore lectures or any further conversation. Pointedly scroll through your phone or something to show you are not listening.

Danp

2 words. "Show me"

As soon as someone says the words "studies show" to me my instant reply is "Great! Show Me". What you'll quickly find is that the phrase 'Studies show' is almost always used when the person really means 'I think'. People seem to stop questioning you when all of a sudden they're required to actually back up what they say.

'Studies show' is almost always an appeal to a non-existent authority in an attempt to legitimise the bunk that someone read in a magazine or some "blog" somewhere.

glovepuppet

Three meals a day is a modern luxury. People would have been extinct long ago if they were permanently trashed by lean periods. Ramadan would be a disaster.

The sky is falling!!! Etc.

paperpudding

Danp wrote: »

2 words. "Show me"

As soon as someone says the words "studies show" to me my instant reply is "Great! Show Me". What you'll quickly find is that the phrase 'Studies show' is almost always used when the person really means 'I think'. People seem to stop questioning you when all of a sudden they're required to actually back up what they say.

'Studies show' is almost always an appeal to a non-existent authority in an attempt to legitimise the bunk that someone read in a magazine or some "blog" somewhere.

Well, sure you could do that if you want to get into a debate with them about the validity of studies or the merits of blogs or whatever and perhaps you will prove that you are right.

I doubt it, people will only hear what they want to hear - and it doesnt achieve the purpose of stopping the ongoing conversations.

If you want conversations to stop you need to not engage.

staticsplit

You can just cite some intermittent fasting stuff back at them.

I'm also not a big breakfast eater unless I worked out. I had milk and coffee and am only now having my first 'meal' of the day, which is a smoothie. I like to have a late lunch and save plenty of calories for dinner and an evening snack.

Just do you. Say your metabolism is fine, that you know your body and what it wants best.

soh8s2diet

Couldn't agree with you more -- I'm mostly opposite. Wake up hungry and often don't eat dinner. I'm not hungry and I don't want to eat close to bedtime as I don't sleep.

As you pointed out, eat when hungry and stay within planned calorie goal is most important.

And for those who tell me not to skip a meal or it'll mess up metabolism, I thank you for your input. Now either encourage me or go away.

PickledBeets8

Unfortunately, if you don't want to discuss your eating habits, you can't discuss your eating habits. I am not sure how details about the way you eat are becoming an unavoidable topic of conversation on a regular basis, but you should probably figure out some noncommittal or vague responses to use on those occasions when others ask questions or bring up the topic. If there are people who are habitually engaging with you on the topic, you might have to set a boundary with them to let them know you are no longer interested in participating in that discussion and will walk away if they insist. Then, follow through every time they bring up your eating habits by reminding them that you aren't interested in discussing them and walking away.

CM_73

AlyssaPetsDogs wrote: »

I’m just tired of being polite.

There's your answer then, just tell 'em to ferckle off!!

goodasgoldilox165

Just tell them that you ate earlier. You did - last night!

Panini911

I would stop telling people you don't eat breakfast. you don't have to supply that info.

even in conversation are people point blank asking what you eat for breakfast? if they are asking cuz they are looking for meal ideas then just spout out possible breakfast ideas. But otherwise i can't see why people would be point blank asking what I eat for breakfast. If they did i'd say "depends on the day" in your case and move the conversation to another topic. and be careful about bringing up my eating habits in general in conversation to avoid it coming up.

NovusDies

Just tell them when you are done killing your metabolism you are coming after theirs.

But seriously this is not a complicated situation. You do not have to avoid it or be afraid to politely shut people down when they offer unsolicited advice. Simply say that based on your research you don't agree and you do not wish to discuss it further.

kiela64

https://youtu.be/Syleh_6Aopw

magnusthenerd

Just ask them specifically what part of the metabolism causes this cascade shutdown?
Does it alter TSH first, T3, T4? Does it just end hepatic transport? Permanently put the nervous system into only sympathetic?
I think a lot of people have a soundbite, but will get rather uncomfortable if you request a conversation that requires them to have anything more than cursory knowledge.

FitGirl_Running

Why talk about it at all when it's brought up in conversation, or broadcast it here if it's nobody else's business but your own?

lalalacroix

I would literally tell them that I'd prefer not to discuss my body at work and then I'd walk away. Just shut it down.

Maxxitt

Studies show (:D) that it takes 15-18 years for solid research findings to make their way into the general practice. The research showing "multiple meals per day support a more robust metabolism" is outdated and has been supplanted. But that's not the problem. The problem is unwanted advice. Inside, I would be all "ferkle off" and outside I would be "thanks for your concern. I'll take it from here." and pointedly change the subject.

jjpptt2

To paraphrase Gabriel Iglesias...

Them: You really should eat throughout the day... you're killing your metabolism.
You: My grandfather lived to be 100 years old.
Them: By not eating during the day?
You: By minding his own damn business.

Sharon_C

"Thank you for your concern, but this works for me." Then don't comment after they comeback with something else.

kshama2001

Panini911 wrote: »

I would stop telling people you don't eat breakfast. you don't have to supply that info.

even in conversation are people point blank asking what you eat for breakfast? if they are asking cuz they are looking for meal ideas then just spout out possible breakfast ideas. But otherwise i can't see why people would be point blank asking what I eat for breakfast. If they did i'd say "depends on the day" in your case and move the conversation to another topic. and be careful about bringing up my eating habits in general in conversation to avoid it coming up.

Seems like the issue is more lunch. Her coworkers notice that she doesn't eat lunch.

@AlyssaPetsDogs can you go for a walk or something at lunch so you are not around them at lunch?

missblondi2u

To all the people surprised that OP's co-workers talk about her eating habits, this is nothing new to many of us who work in an office setting where food is always around and if you don't take a donut or eat a slice of that banana bread so-and-so brought in, everyone has something to say about it.

My theory is that eating in front of someone who isn't eating makes some people uncomfortable and/or guilty, which is just crazy to me. But it happens nonetheless. We do birthday cake once a month at my office, and I've actually taken a piece and pretended to eat it just to avoid the issue. I could just tell them it's none of their business, but the truth is I know they aren't doing it out of malice and these are people I otherwise get along great with, so I just let it go knowing that I know what's best for me.

But OP, if these comments are bothering you, I don't see a problem with shutting it down as suggested by many above.