Responding to people who lecture me that I’m killing my metabolism.
AlyssaPetsDogs
Posts: 421 Member
I’ve never been a huge breakfast eater unless I have worked out in the morn and eat something after. I usually am set with my coffee and milk and don’t get hungry until noon ish. I might have a snack (cheese stick) if I get really hungry, but usually I wait until I get home and have a decent dinner and one or two snacks. I’ve always been more of a night eater and I can’t stay in my calorie goal happily if I do breakfast and lunch.
Unfortunately, this upsets people. I don’t broadcast my way of eating, but at work or in conversation, I get a lot of flack for not eating lunch and then lectured that I am killing my metabolism and that “thousands of studies show [eating throughout the day/breakfast/not eating after 8pm etc] is best.”
I’m counting calories and I’m of the mindset that if I stay in my calorie goal, I can eat when I please. I’m just tired of being polite.
Unfortunately, this upsets people. I don’t broadcast my way of eating, but at work or in conversation, I get a lot of flack for not eating lunch and then lectured that I am killing my metabolism and that “thousands of studies show [eating throughout the day/breakfast/not eating after 8pm etc] is best.”
I’m counting calories and I’m of the mindset that if I stay in my calorie goal, I can eat when I please. I’m just tired of being polite.
6
Replies
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How do people know you don't eat breakfast?
At work or in conversation you get flack about this?
I suggest not talking about it, don't participate in conversations - and cut short anyone bringing it up with something like Oh well, it works for me.
And then totally ignore lectures or any further conversation. Pointedly scroll through your phone or something to show you are not listening.
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2 words. "Show me"
As soon as someone says the words "studies show" to me my instant reply is "Great! Show Me". What you'll quickly find is that the phrase 'Studies show' is almost always used when the person really means 'I think'. People seem to stop questioning you when all of a sudden they're required to actually back up what they say.
'Studies show' is almost always an appeal to a non-existent authority in an attempt to legitimise the bunk that someone read in a magazine or some "blog" somewhere.23 -
Three meals a day is a modern luxury. People would have been extinct long ago if they were permanently trashed by lean periods. Ramadan would be a disaster.
The sky is falling!!! Etc.10 -
2 words. "Show me"
As soon as someone says the words "studies show" to me my instant reply is "Great! Show Me". What you'll quickly find is that the phrase 'Studies show' is almost always used when the person really means 'I think'. People seem to stop questioning you when all of a sudden they're required to actually back up what they say.
'Studies show' is almost always an appeal to a non-existent authority in an attempt to legitimise the bunk that someone read in a magazine or some "blog" somewhere.
Well, sure you could do that if you want to get into a debate with them about the validity of studies or the merits of blogs or whatever and perhaps you will prove that you are right.
I doubt it, people will only hear what they want to hear - and it doesnt achieve the purpose of stopping the ongoing conversations.
If you want conversations to stop you need to not engage.
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You can just cite some intermittent fasting stuff back at them.
I'm also not a big breakfast eater unless I worked out. I had milk and coffee and am only now having my first 'meal' of the day, which is a smoothie. I like to have a late lunch and save plenty of calories for dinner and an evening snack.
Just do you. Say your metabolism is fine, that you know your body and what it wants best.7 -
Couldn't agree with you more -- I'm mostly opposite. Wake up hungry and often don't eat dinner. I'm not hungry and I don't want to eat close to bedtime as I don't sleep.
As you pointed out, eat when hungry and stay within planned calorie goal is most important.
And for those who tell me not to skip a meal or it'll mess up metabolism, I thank you for your input. Now either encourage me or go away.
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Unfortunately, if you don't want to discuss your eating habits, you can't discuss your eating habits. I am not sure how details about the way you eat are becoming an unavoidable topic of conversation on a regular basis, but you should probably figure out some noncommittal or vague responses to use on those occasions when others ask questions or bring up the topic. If there are people who are habitually engaging with you on the topic, you might have to set a boundary with them to let them know you are no longer interested in participating in that discussion and will walk away if they insist. Then, follow through every time they bring up your eating habits by reminding them that you aren't interested in discussing them and walking away.5
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AlyssaPetsDogs wrote: »I’m just tired of being polite.
There's your answer then, just tell 'em to ferckle off!!
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Just tell them that you ate earlier. You did - last night!
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I would stop telling people you don't eat breakfast. you don't have to supply that info.
even in conversation are people point blank asking what you eat for breakfast? if they are asking cuz they are looking for meal ideas then just spout out possible breakfast ideas. But otherwise i can't see why people would be point blank asking what I eat for breakfast. If they did i'd say "depends on the day" in your case and move the conversation to another topic. and be careful about bringing up my eating habits in general in conversation to avoid it coming up.4 -
Just tell them when you are done killing your metabolism you are coming after theirs.
But seriously this is not a complicated situation. You do not have to avoid it or be afraid to politely shut people down when they offer unsolicited advice. Simply say that based on your research you don't agree and you do not wish to discuss it further.11 -
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Just ask them specifically what part of the metabolism causes this cascade shutdown?
Does it alter TSH first, T3, T4? Does it just end hepatic transport? Permanently put the nervous system into only sympathetic?
I think a lot of people have a soundbite, but will get rather uncomfortable if you request a conversation that requires them to have anything more than cursory knowledge.9 -
Why talk about it at all when it's brought up in conversation, or broadcast it here if it's nobody else's business but your own?3
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I would literally tell them that I'd prefer not to discuss my body at work and then I'd walk away. Just shut it down.1
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Studies show (:D) that it takes 15-18 years for solid research findings to make their way into the general practice. The research showing "multiple meals per day support a more robust metabolism" is outdated and has been supplanted. But that's not the problem. The problem is unwanted advice. Inside, I would be all "ferkle off" and outside I would be "thanks for your concern. I'll take it from here." and pointedly change the subject.3
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To paraphrase Gabriel Iglesias...
Them: You really should eat throughout the day... you're killing your metabolism.
You: My grandfather lived to be 100 years old.
Them: By not eating during the day?
You: By minding his own damn business.28 -
"Thank you for your concern, but this works for me." Then don't comment after they comeback with something else.3
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I would stop telling people you don't eat breakfast. you don't have to supply that info.
even in conversation are people point blank asking what you eat for breakfast? if they are asking cuz they are looking for meal ideas then just spout out possible breakfast ideas. But otherwise i can't see why people would be point blank asking what I eat for breakfast. If they did i'd say "depends on the day" in your case and move the conversation to another topic. and be careful about bringing up my eating habits in general in conversation to avoid it coming up.
Seems like the issue is more lunch. Her coworkers notice that she doesn't eat lunch.
@AlyssaPetsDogs can you go for a walk or something at lunch so you are not around them at lunch?0 -
To all the people surprised that OP's co-workers talk about her eating habits, this is nothing new to many of us who work in an office setting where food is always around and if you don't take a donut or eat a slice of that banana bread so-and-so brought in, everyone has something to say about it.
My theory is that eating in front of someone who isn't eating makes some people uncomfortable and/or guilty, which is just crazy to me. But it happens nonetheless. We do birthday cake once a month at my office, and I've actually taken a piece and pretended to eat it just to avoid the issue. I could just tell them it's none of their business, but the truth is I know they aren't doing it out of malice and these are people I otherwise get along great with, so I just let it go knowing that I know what's best for me.
But OP, if these comments are bothering you, I don't see a problem with shutting it down as suggested by many above.6 -
“Oh, that’s actually outdated information. Newer studies show that intermittent fasting actually helps the metabolism.” Two can play at the “studies show” game!5
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breanamock wrote: »“Oh, that’s actually outdated information. Newer studies show that intermittent fasting actually helps the metabolism.” Two can play at the “studies show” game!
Except I'm not sure they do...
Although if you use the word "can" the most most literal/strict sense, then I guess it's true.2 -
Whenever someone gives me unsolicited advice I say “oh wow thanks I didn’t know that” as if I’m genuinely thankful and then keep it moving sis. Use a little bit of psychology in this situation. People who give unsolicited advice either take pride in being an authority, like to hear themselves talk, or want the acknowledgement of being useful (or all three). So when you feed them what they want, they usually move on quickly to the next person and you can remain unbothered.
In your life right now, you have this awesome goal of losing weight, getting fit, and getting healthier - so what you’re eating right now carries more weight and importance to you than the people who are probably not doing those thing and making comments about your eating habits. Take it with a grain of salt.
In the meantime, don’t tell people what you’re doing, just show people how you did it.2 -
Just tell them when you are done killing your metabolism you are coming after theirs.
I'm stealing this for the people who tell me I'm destroying my knees by running.
OP, ultimately people have no business commenting on your eating habits at work. So, I think the first thing to say is, "Thanks for your concern, but I've discussed my plan with my doctor, and they approve of it. I don't want to discuss my eating habits with anyone but my doctor."
If it continues after that: "Please stop discussing my eating habits. This conversation isn't appropriate for work."
And if it's still going past that point, take it to your boss, HR, or whoever else is the appropriate person for complaints about workplace behavior.2 -
AlyssaPetsDogs wrote: »I’ve never been a huge breakfast eater unless I have worked out in the morn and eat something after. I usually am set with my coffee and milk and don’t get hungry until noon ish. I might have a snack (cheese stick) if I get really hungry, but usually I wait until I get home and have a decent dinner and one or two snacks. I’ve always been more of a night eater and I can’t stay in my calorie goal happily if I do breakfast and lunch.
Unfortunately, this upsets people. I don’t broadcast my way of eating, but at work or in conversation, I get a lot of flack for not eating lunch and then lectured that I am killing my metabolism and that “thousands of studies show [eating throughout the day/breakfast/not eating after 8pm etc] is best.”
I’m counting calories and I’m of the mindset that if I stay in my calorie goal, I can eat when I please. I’m just tired of being polite.
"Thousands, wow. Can you point me to one of them...?"
I bet the answer is no. 😉
Your metabolism is the sum total of all the ongoing chemical reactions that keep you alive. I think you'll still need to breathe even if you skip breakfast. Your heart will still need to beat, your mighty mitochondria don't quit if you skip lunch, etc etc. I mean it's incredibly complicated, but it's also all necessary stuff.1 -
All these suggestions about comeback replies, asking for details of studies etc (yes I know a few were tongue in cheek) seem to be missing the point to me
Sure, do them if you want to prove how right you are.
But if the aim is to stop such conversations then dont do that - you can hardly blame people for keeping talking about something if you keep talking about it too.
Dont engage.
Reply with one worders " Nah, Im good" and move on.
Pointedly scroll through your phone, read your book, walk away IGNORE, if they continue - and dont initiate anything that could spark it up again. eg keep quiet if people are discussing breakfast, nobody needs to know you dont eat it.8
https://youtu.be/Syleh_6Aopw
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