Quit feeling sorry for yourself

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13

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  • MsPudding
    MsPudding Posts: 562 Member
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    This is what I am going with now. I hear about it everday about how the diet and MFP does not work but she is not putting in the effort. Telling her over and over she can do it, its ok you had a rough day is just not working anymore. Now she is complaining because her husband can eat whatever he wants and does not gain weight but its MFP fault that her three icecreams made her feel bad because she went over her cals. How the heck do you keep supporting that?


    My guess is that if this lady is on your friends' list and sees your post she'll delete you anyway and then your problem will be solved. Or, and this is just putting it out there, you could try deleting friends who annoy you rather than suffer to the point you need to come vent about them in public :smile:
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    don't tell me how to feel. if i want to b**ch and complain and never make progress i WILL. feel free to defriend me. :)

    edited to say: that was me speaking on whoever's behalf.
  • MisterDerpington
    MisterDerpington Posts: 604 Member
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    Oh mah gawd! Three ice cream bars?! That's liek soooooo much food.
  • crzycylr
    crzycylr Posts: 78 Member
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    Oh my! While I agree on some level, be careful. You soap box seems very high. We all have these moments. Maybe this is more about your friend selection than anything else. We all use MFP because we have struggled and failed in the past. Life long lifestyle change means that you will have times of stress, when you make the wrong decisions, you will be frustrated by them. It could last a bit to actually turn things around. Hopefully with we learn and time and support, we change and become stronger. Put out a note to all your friends, tell them your mission and that you might be parring down your group on your journey. Just remember that you could have a positive effect on someone that is maybe not as advanced in their process as you are.
  • walzllw
    walzllw Posts: 105 Member
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    Rar.

    This style of support works well for a lot of people. It doesn't work well for me. This is why it's important to cultivate a friend's list that supports you in the way you find most inspiring.

    I do have a few friends who tell me "Not bad, could be better" and that works for me. Gets my mind into the game of "What small changes could I make TODAY that will be better for TOMORROW?" Overall, though, being told to suck it up does nothing but make go "Well, fine - **** you then, I'll do what **I** want."

    That said, lots of people do well with the whole tough-love thing. DIfferent strokes for different folks.

    Well said!!!!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    OP, according to your ticker you went from 128 to 103 lbs. No offense, but you really have no idea of the struggles of a person that has been obese for many years who is now trying to lose that weight.
  • trackmyday1973
    trackmyday1973 Posts: 393 Member
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    suck it up and in 6 months to a year you can eat what you want in moderation.

    Or you can just do that now.

    That's what I was going to say. I have 95 more lbs to lose and I am not waiting to reach goal to eat what I want. I include it in my caloric budget. Seems to be working :)
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    OP, according to your ticker you went from 128 to 103 lbs. No offense, but you really have no idea of the struggles of a person that has been obese for many years who is now trying to lose that weight.
    they lost like 20% of their body weight... i wouldn't say that they have no idea what the struggles of losing weight are... :grumble:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    OP, according to your ticker you went from 128 to 103 lbs. No offense, but you really have no idea of the struggles of a person that has been obese for many years who is now trying to lose that weight.
    they lost like 20% of their body weight... i wouldn't say that they have no idea what the struggles of losing weight are... :grumble:

    It is different. Losing 25 lbs vs. losing 125 lb is different. Overcoming a lifetime of overeating and dependence on food as comfort vs. dropping a few extra lbs is different. Being young with only 10 lbs to lose you wouldn’t understand either. Being old with 30 lbs to lose I don’t understand their struggle, but I absolutely understand that their struggle is different.
  • trackmyday1973
    trackmyday1973 Posts: 393 Member
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    OP, according to your ticker you went from 128 to 103 lbs. No offense, but you really have no idea of the struggles of a person that has been obese for many years who is now trying to lose that weight.

    So true....for me it's been a constant mental struggle with myself, the scale, the boredom, the depression etc etc.... all making me turn to food.

    I have been carrying this 100 + lbs for over 12 years. Why???? because of my constant battle with depression, mental way of thinking in terms of food etc etc..... it's not as easy as to say suck it up!!! if it was...we wouldn't have a weight issue.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    OP, according to your ticker you went from 128 to 103 lbs. No offense, but you really have no idea of the struggles of a person that has been obese for many years who is now trying to lose that weight.
    they lost like 20% of their body weight... i wouldn't say that they have no idea what the struggles of losing weight are... :grumble:

    It is different. Losing 25 lbs vs. losing 125 lb is different. Overcoming a lifetime of overeating and dependence on food as comfort vs. dropping a few extra lbs is different. Being young with only 10 lbs to lose you wouldn’t understand either. Being old with 30 lbs to lose I don’t understand their struggle, but I absolutely understand that their struggle is different.


    uhm, yeah. i went from 136 pounds and 32% body fat to 115 pounds at 18% body fat.

    this over generalization is crap in my opinion.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    OP, according to your ticker you went from 128 to 103 lbs. No offense, but you really have no idea of the struggles of a person that has been obese for many years who is now trying to lose that weight.
    they lost like 20% of their body weight... i wouldn't say that they have no idea what the struggles of losing weight are... :grumble:

    It is different. Losing 25 lbs vs. losing 125 lb is different. Overcoming a lifetime of overeating and dependence on food as comfort vs. dropping a few extra lbs is different. Being young with only 10 lbs to lose you wouldn’t understand either. Being old with 30 lbs to lose I don’t understand their struggle, but I absolutely understand that their struggle is different.


    uhm, yeah. i went from 136 pounds and 32% body fat to 115 pounds at 18% body fat.

    this over generalization is crap in my opinion.

    Okay. I'm sure you went through exactly the same thing.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    OP, according to your ticker you went from 128 to 103 lbs. No offense, but you really have no idea of the struggles of a person that has been obese for many years who is now trying to lose that weight.
    they lost like 20% of their body weight... i wouldn't say that they have no idea what the struggles of losing weight are... :grumble:

    It is different. Losing 25 lbs vs. losing 125 lb is different. Overcoming a lifetime of overeating and dependence on food as comfort vs. dropping a few extra lbs is different. Being young with only 10 lbs to lose you wouldn’t understand either. Being old with 30 lbs to lose I don’t understand their struggle, but I absolutely understand that their struggle is different.


    uhm, yeah. i went from 136 pounds and 32% body fat to 115 pounds at 18% body fat.

    this over generalization is crap in my opinion.

    Okay. I'm sure you went through exactly the same thing.


    i'm sure everyone who has a lot to lose feels like they've had to work harder and/or are better than those who have less to lose. :yawn:

    yeah.... OP should just move on and not be friends with negative people. but i am sooo out of this thread because obviously there will always be those who WILL feel sorry for themselves and WILL take that out on others... So before this gets to a "We're cooler than you and have to work harder than you and you couldn't possibly imagine what it like" thread, i am SOOOOOO gone.

    just for my personal point here... i've been on mfp for 3 years now. logging, exercising, lifting, CONSISTENTLY and i have not once felt sorry for myself. I put myself in the situation i was in. and i fully accept that. and it has been REALLY HARD to keep with it.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    OP, according to your ticker you went from 128 to 103 lbs. No offense, but you really have no idea of the struggles of a person that has been obese for many years who is now trying to lose that weight.
    they lost like 20% of their body weight... i wouldn't say that they have no idea what the struggles of losing weight are... :grumble:

    It is different. Losing 25 lbs vs. losing 125 lb is different. Overcoming a lifetime of overeating and dependence on food as comfort vs. dropping a few extra lbs is different. Being young with only 10 lbs to lose you wouldn’t understand either. Being old with 30 lbs to lose I don’t understand their struggle, but I absolutely understand that their struggle is different.


    uhm, yeah. i went from 136 pounds and 32% body fat to 115 pounds at 18% body fat.

    this over generalization is crap in my opinion.

    Okay. I'm sure you went through exactly the same thing.


    i'm sure everyone who has a lot to lose feels like they've had to work harder and/or are better than those who have less to lose. :yawn:

    "better than"??? What are you talking about?
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,108 Member
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    What kind of ice cream bars?

    Because now I'm really wanting a Klondike Heath. :ohwell:


    p.s. I could eat three - maybe I would, too.
  • UnicornBaconsEsq
    UnicornBaconsEsq Posts: 31
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    Oh mah gawd! Three ice cream bars?! That's liek soooooo much food.

    I know you're being facetious or whatever, but depending on which ice cream bars you buy, 3 of them could be 350 - 900 calories. That's about 25 - 65% of the calories I usually eat in a day. So yeah it's not a large quanity of food as far as size, but it's a f*ckload of calories and over time it adds up.

    So that's my only contribution to this thread.:smokin:
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    So talking about it on a support forum is bringing others down. I'm sorry these individuals including myself, come here for support. Not to be ridiculed for having a bad day, week or even a freaking month. They are trying, they are here daily and that deserves some credit. If you don't like it and it ruins your precious day. Then overlook their comments, ignore their words or maybe just unfriend them.....problem solved. Now you can skip merrily to the gym and have your awesome days full of success.

    :noway: :laugh:
    Awesome! :wink: :drinker:
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Losing 125 lbs and losing 25lbs are different animals. On the one hand, the person with 125 lbs to lose is facing a really daunting task, and likely has actual physical limitations and health risks keeping them from being able to exercise the same way as someone who is not obese, as well as a high likelihood of health complications and other annoying things, like finding shoes with enough support for their weight and workout clothes in their size. But, the weight will actually come off easier. It's actually much harder to lose the last 25 lbs than the first 25lbs of 125 and takes much more time and dedication.
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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    Losing 125 lbs and losing 25lbs are different animals. On the one hand, the person with 125 lbs to lose is facing a really daunting task, and likely has actual physical limitations and health risks keeping them from being able to exercise the same way as someone who is not obese, as well as a high likelihood of health complications and other annoying things, like finding shoes with enough support for their weight and workout clothes in their size. But, the weight will actually come off easier. It's actually much harder to lose the last 25 lbs than the first 25lbs of 125 and takes much more time and dedication.

    You are a very good poster
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
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    In some cases it isn't that easy. Many of us here struggle with our emotions, and so we eat. And fixing our mental issues are far harder then changing the number on the scale.

    Truth. Some of us might have issued because we were being told to "suck it up" all the time--literally or figuratively. A lot of us self medicate with food, without realizing it. Sometimes we don't want to feel alone in our journey. Sorry to "brine" your curve. You and your pissy friends can go off in a self-congratulatory corner and talk about how you're all so much more committed then the rest of us--with your Yoda quotes. "Do or do not. There is no try."

    Bitter, much?

    What exactly is wrong with congratulating yourself? Is it better to be a whiner and depend on the motivation of others to feel good about yourself? Sounds like you'd love to be one of the people with that kind of self-control and commitment. And you should be, these are the bad@sses of MFP.

    Transparent jealousy is not a good look for you, honey.

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