Happy to reach goal but do you ever get the feeling...

WanderingPomme

Do you ever get the feeling that when finally you've reached your goal weight and you've lost all you've wanted to lose that behind every "wow, great job on the weight loss!" "wow you're so thin!" "you look great!" is actually a sneaky "I wonder how long she'll keep the weight off" ?

How do you deal with that pressure?

TKRV

I've never been extremely overweight, so I don't know that I can 100% know what you are going through. My change has been in body shape. I was a size 9 in high school and, due to increased physical activity in college, got down to a size two, which I have since stayed at even as my weight fluctuates +/- 5 pounds.

People have told me I must be shoving my finger down my throat. They tell me I can eat whatever I want because I'm so skinny. They tell me, just wait until I am older. The comment I hate the most is when someone discusses health with me and says "I can't wait to see what you are like 10 years from now." as if to say that when I am older, I won't believe that eating well and getting some good fitness in won't keep me healthy. It's hurts. It's frustrating. It makes you feel like you have something to prove because everyone is betting against you. For me personally, it sometimes hits me particularly hard because I never had a very good body image and I feel like people are telling me I'll be ugly soon - just you wait!

But here's the thing, you and your happiness come first. You will grow and change, and so will your body. Let your focus be on health and happiness first.

Katla49

I have been around long enough to have seen lots of people lose the weight and then regain even more than they lost. It happened to me years ago. The problem is that many people change their eating habits to lose weight and then return to them after they've reached their goal. That's what I did, and why the pounds returned. This time I'm making a lifestyle change and will continue to eat using my new habits. I will continue to log every bite after I've reached my goal so that I monitor what I'm doing. Bottom line, I don't trust my ability to regulate portion size without the discipline of logging.

I would not take their comments to be anything more than a reflection of things they've seen in others. You'll just have to keep up your good habits and show the world that you value your health. That is what I plan to do. Good luck, we all need it.:flowerforyou:

mallen404

Do you ever get the feeling that when finally you've reached your goal weight and you've lost all you've wanted to lose that behind every "wow, great job on the weight loss!" "wow you're so thin!" "you look great!" is actually a sneaky "I wonder how long she'll keep the weight off" ?

How do you deal with that pressure?

You don't give a **** about what anyone thinks! you worked hard to get where you are and don't over think the compliments!

blah2989

Well, I havent lost all my weight, barely put a dent in, but people have noticed and I do believe they are being genuine. When my friends found out I run a mile almost once a day, they all were like thats awesome I cant even run a mile, we should all go to the gym for a "girl" day or oh you run too? I just started lets go together. And we do! Its fun and if we have to stop then we stop and walk for whoever has just started or hasnt run in awhile, then we do. Theres more support than anything. Its not a competition. But for others that Im not close to, I think they just genuinely notice. Honestly I wouldnt care much, even if they DID think the way you described. The first person you do this for is yourself, so I wouldnt worry about their remarks.

Girlrose

I can relate. I think it's just me psyching myself out, but it really *is* hard to maintain goal sometimes. I know that it's all about the lifestyle change and not just dieting but, even so, it's tough to maintain exercising all the time so much!

EmilyWest1919

My hubby and I have lost about 100lbs combined. We've had MANY people say to us "Wow, you look great! But good luck keeping it off!". It's frustrating, but sadly true. So many fad diets get the weight off, but as soon as you come off, it all comes back on. Those comments have just upped my determination to, in fact, keep the weight off;0)!

adotbaby

There are so many people that have lost weight and then gained it back, and more, that they are genuinely surprised when someone actually keeps the weight off! Some peop,e are very uncomfortable with others' success, it emphasizes their own failure; I think that is where the snarky comments come from. Enjoy the feeling of having achieved your goal, and ignore those who can't deal with it!

Jthanmyfitnesspal

First of all, congratulations on losing weight. I give you the dancing banana!



I think you are reading the room right. Some people are incredibly judgmental about weight. It's defensive: they are seeing themselves in you and judging themselves. If you gain it all back, you're doing such people a big favor. They can then say "see, no one keeps it off, why bother!"

I say: don't give in to it. Create your own metrics, live to your own standards, find your rhythm, keep track of how you're doing, set new goals (fitness and personal), and, in general, keep moving forward.

I've been up and down quite a lot in my life. I'm currently about 45lbs off my peak weight and near my goal weight. I just did a mini-cut to get those 8 lbs off that I gained in the last two months of the year. What I have learned is that, if you want to keep it off, it requires coming back to it time and time again. The sooner you intervene, the easier it is to correct!

AnnPT77

Is everyone realizing that OP asked this question in 2013, and appears not to have been here since 2016?

Not that the replies aren't useful, but . . . ?

Jthanmyfitnesspal

@AnnPT77 : Hah, you're right! I only looked at the date of the previous response. It would be interesting to hear how @WanderingPomme has fared over the last 7 years!

Jimb376mfp

I lost and gained back weight my adult life. 2013 At age 65 I began @ 376#, FIVE years later I reached GW @184.
I told my WW Coach that I always gained back what I lost. She said “NOW DON’T QUIT!”

Most people quit doing what they did to lose. Without really changing the pounds WILL COMR BACK.

Two years on Maintenance taught me from age 70 to 72 that I can do it but it ain’t easy.

vggb

Jthanmyfitnesspal wrote: »

I just did a mini-cut to get those 8 lbs off that I gained in the last two months of the year. What I have learned is that, if you want to keep it off, it requires coming back to it time and time again. The sooner you intervene, the easier it is to correct!

This is where I am at right now and I don't like it. I was under my goal weight just from lifestyle eating changes by doctor advise. I felt good and I felt good about myself. So stopping the eating habits that got me here today (5-8lb gain) is tough because including the few foods that I shouldn't have is too easy. So having the "bad" meal 3 days/week because it's just easier hasn't worked at all. I don't like how I feel physically, bloated, sluggish as well as disappointed/worried at what I've done.

So yes, it requires coming back and paying attention to what I'm eating.

ncfitbit

Jthanmyfitnesspal wrote: »

@AnnPT77 : Hah, you're right! I only looked at the date of the previous response. It would be interesting to hear how @WanderingPomme has fared over the last 7 years!

Haha, I didn't notice that either. Glad you posted, @Jthanmyfitnesspal. The dancing banana alone was worth it, but your advice is spot on. Learning to judge success by our own standards is really important if you want to keep going. Other people will have different goals and life circumstances that affect their success. Best to not compare yourself to anyone but yourself!

errollmaclean

I had a comment a ling time ago on a thread about maintenance being harder than weight loss. Basically the premise being that: you don't get the constant encouragement of slowly getting closer and closer to your goals. Maintenance is static. There's no "new" every week.

But you adapt. You make new fitness based goals or specific strength goals. And life does get in the way, with sickness or injuries necessitating starting over with certain goals, albeit from a new starting point.

Funnily my profile pic is an older picture of me with less muscle than I currently have. My goals is to slim down a bit and balance my fitness with other aspects of my life. So don't worry, there will ALWAYS be new goals.