Basketball Jerks
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allother94 wrote: »allother94 wrote: »
It matters to me if it's my spot you end up taking. Even if it's just for 1 game, that could be half my lunch break. To you, it's just a casual game of pickup hoops. To me, it's my only chance to be social, to feel like I'm part of a group, and to contribute to that group. For someone who struggles socially, that 45 minutes can make or break my week.
I'm not saying I'm right or wrong, or you're right or wrong. My perspective on my game could be very different from the guys you ran into. I'm just giving you another perspective.
You are not taking the “schmuck’s” feelings into consideration. I go to the gym for the same reason you do (and most people do). But instead of going home feeling great, I leave feeling horrible for weeks. All because someone is afraid that playing 30 mins instead of 45 mins during one of their 3 weekly basketball games might make them feel less great for a few days.
I don’t want to take my anger out on you. It sounds like you would probably let someone play even though you wouldn’t like it. I don’t know what you would do to them during the game, but letting them play is a decent thing to do. I appreciate the comments.
The guys at this gym were just jerks. Giving all this happened at the YMCA (C for Christian) makes it all that much worse
If something like this causes you to go home and feel.bad for weeks you should seriously evaluate your emotional response to simple life situations.
I can't imagine focusing on an incident like this for more than 15 minutes tops before letting it go. Others don't have that much control over your feelings unless you allow them to.
Ok, so maybe I exaggerated a little. But it still bugs me. Or at least it was bugging me when I posted this. I love pick up basketball, so it stayed with me for a few days. If it would have been pick up chess or something, 15 mins sounds about right.
However, I’ve got some baggage when it comes to this stuff. If you play sports in high school or college, the better player will eventually make the team and/or become a starter. But you would be surprised to see the nasty things people will do to others to “protect their position”; especially in high school.
High school students are also just, well - high school students. I want to be clear, I'm not condoning poor behavior by people in any position. While I didn't play a team sport growing up, I was a very serious musician and yeah - children can be awful.
Adults can also be awful in all sorts of arenas, including sports. It sucks. If what's going on really bothers you, if it's egregious, and/or if it's chronic don't hesitate to talk to management about it. I do think that just assuming you can join a regularly occurring basketball game organized by the X number of regular people shows at least a bit of entitlement. That said, I also think that it's absurd that they wouldn't take another empty court.3 -
allother94 wrote: »
If you think everyone or even most people who go to the YMCA are Christian then I've got a bridge to sell you. If you think all Christians (or every person of any religion/faith) are nice then I might also try to sell you Greenland.allother94 wrote: »
It matters to me if it's my spot you end up taking. Even if it's just for 1 game, that could be half my lunch break. To you, it's just a casual game of pickup hoops. To me, it's my only chance to be social, to feel like I'm part of a group, and to contribute to that group. For someone who struggles socially, that 45 minutes can make or break my week.
I'm not saying I'm right or wrong, or you're right or wrong. My perspective on my game could be very different from the guys you ran into. I'm just giving you another perspective.
You are not taking the “schmuck’s” feelings into consideration. I go to the gym for the same reason you do (and most people do). But instead of going home feeling great, I leave feeling horrible for weeks. All because someone is afraid that playing 30 mins instead of 45 mins during one of their 3 weekly basketball games might make them feel less great for a few days.
I don’t want to take my anger out on you. It sounds like you would probably let someone play even though you wouldn’t like it. I don’t know what you would do to them during the game, but letting them play is a decent thing to do. I appreciate the comments.
The guys at this gym were just jerks. Giving all this happened at the YMCA (C for Christian) makes it all that much worse
I didn’t say I think everyone at the YMCA are nice Christians. I said it makes the behavior worse. If you want to be a jerk, you shouldn’t do it in a building whose core vision focuses on creating a friendly environment.
The YMCA vision is to be a non-profit organization that strives to be a true community center where people of all ages and circumstances may work toward fitness of spirit, mind and body in a safe, friendly environment.
The emphasis that you put on Christian, "YMCA (C for Christian)" implied that you, at a minimum, think that their historical religious ties make them somehow different than another gym that doesn't have the same (or any) religious ties. I'm pretty sure most community based fitness centers would strive to be safe and friendly environments for people of all walks of life.allother94 wrote: »
If you think everyone or even most people who go to the YMCA are Christian then I've got a bridge to sell you. If you think all Christians (or every person of any religion/faith) are nice then I might also try to sell you Greenland.allother94 wrote: »
It matters to me if it's my spot you end up taking. Even if it's just for 1 game, that could be half my lunch break. To you, it's just a casual game of pickup hoops. To me, it's my only chance to be social, to feel like I'm part of a group, and to contribute to that group. For someone who struggles socially, that 45 minutes can make or break my week.
I'm not saying I'm right or wrong, or you're right or wrong. My perspective on my game could be very different from the guys you ran into. I'm just giving you another perspective.
You are not taking the “schmuck’s” feelings into consideration. I go to the gym for the same reason you do (and most people do). But instead of going home feeling great, I leave feeling horrible for weeks. All because someone is afraid that playing 30 mins instead of 45 mins during one of their 3 weekly basketball games might make them feel less great for a few days.
I don’t want to take my anger out on you. It sounds like you would probably let someone play even though you wouldn’t like it. I don’t know what you would do to them during the game, but letting them play is a decent thing to do. I appreciate the comments.
The guys at this gym were just jerks. Giving all this happened at the YMCA (C for Christian) makes it all that much worse
I didn’t say I think everyone at the YMCA are nice Christians. I said it makes the behavior worse. If you want to be a jerk, you shouldn’t do it in a building whose core vision focuses on creating a friendly environment.
The YMCA vision is to be a non-profit organization that strives to be a true community center where people of all ages and circumstances may work toward fitness of spirit, mind and body in a safe, friendly environment.
The emphasis that you put on Christian, "YMCA (C for Christian)" implied that you, at a minimum, think that their historical religious ties make them somehow different than another gym that doesn't have the same (or any) religious ties. I'm pretty sure most community based fitness centers would strive to be safe and friendly environments for people of all walks of life.
I think since they put the word Christian in their name and mission statement, they are trying to achieve a higher level of compassion among their members than other gyms. At least that is the message they the spread at all their gatherings. I don’t hear this message at other gyms I attend.
For example, Gold’s Gym’s mission statement only talks about enhancing quality of life and instilling the value of fitness into people’s lives. Planet Fitness’ mission statement discusses affordability and judgement free environments. Neither of these mention moral values.0 -
I shoot hoops in my own driveway.0
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I do think that just assuming you can join a regularly occurring basketball game organized by the X number of regular people shows at least a bit of entitlement.
They could have made room for 1 more. I always make room for 1 more. Most people I’ve played with would make room for 1 more.
However, you make a good point. Looking back, it was the way they did it that was obnoxious. If they would have gone to another court and politely said no when I asked to join, I would probably have been fine with it. Instead they told me you had to be a regular attender of the gym and then kicked me off the court a second time when I tried to regularly attend.0 -
High school students are also just, well - high school students.
I agree, but I’ve found that almost all your core values are firmly development by the time you graduate high school. If not by high school, then at least by the time you graduate college. While your outward actions may evolve as you mature, you opinions remain mostly in sync with that inner high school kid.4 -
allother94 wrote: »
High school students are also just, well - high school students.
I agree, but I’ve found that almost all your core values are firmly development by the time you graduate high school. If not by high school, then at least by the time you graduate college. While your outward actions may evolve as you mature, you opinions remain mostly in sync with that inner high school kid.
FWIW, I would almost say the opposite: That a lot of kids know what's right in their head and heart when they're in high school,but their actions are over-much guided by an immature drive to be popular and "one of the guys/gals". With more maturity, the core values are more reliably drivers of behavior. Just my opinion, though.4 -
allother94 wrote: »
High school students are also just, well - high school students.
I agree, but I’ve found that almost all your core values are firmly development by the time you graduate high school. If not by high school, then at least by the time you graduate college. While your outward actions may evolve as you mature, you opinions remain mostly in sync with that inner high school kid.
I wouldn't say that's true at all. A lot of core values get developed and cemented in early adulthood. You see this all the time with "traditionally aged" college students. There's also the whole prefrontal cortex not being fully formed until one's mid 20s which likely contributes to high school students' lack of maturity (among other things).
Also just an fyi, you keep attributing quotes to jjpptt2 instead of me.3 -
allother94 wrote: »
High school students are also just, well - high school students.
I agree, but I’ve found that almost all your core values are firmly development by the time you graduate high school. If not by high school, then at least by the time you graduate college. While your outward actions may evolve as you mature, you opinions remain mostly in sync with that inner high school kid.
I wouldn't say that's true at all. A lot of core values get developed and cemented in early adulthood. You see this all the time with "traditionally aged" college students. There's also the whole prefrontal cortex not being fully formed until one's mid 20s which likely contributes to high school students' lack of maturity (among other things).
Also just an fyi, you keep attributing quotes to jjpptt2 instead of me.
Agree to disagree I guess.0 -
allother94 wrote: »
High school students are also just, well - high school students.
I agree, but I’ve found that almost all your core values are firmly development by the time you graduate high school. If not by high school, then at least by the time you graduate college. While your outward actions may evolve as you mature, you opinions remain mostly in sync with that inner high school kid.
FWIW, I would almost say the opposite: That a lot of kids know what's right in their head and heart when they're in high school,but their actions are over-much guided by an immature drive to be popular and "one of the guys/gals". With more maturity, the core values are more reliably drivers of behavior. Just my opinion, though.
I wonder if this is true or if it has more to do with the fact that peer pressure is so constant in high school. For example, if someone age 17 is nasty to someone in high school to try to fit in, would they also be nasty at age 45 to someone who is a threat to take their job at work. Maybe these people seem nicer later in life only because they don’t have as many opportunities as they did in high school to show their nastiness.
I think most nasty people at any age know what is right and wrong in their heads. They just choose to be nasty for whatever reason. It would surprise me if people matured out of that. They just do a better job of “picking their battles” to appear (to themselves and others) to be better people than they truly are. But I could be wrong...0
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