3 Ways to Get Happier

try2again

Came across this today and thought it might possibly benefit some people. I know for many of us, our mood is a big factor in our ability to address our health & fitness. I particularly enjoyed the list of 3 simple behaviors that encourage happiness. I also liked the point at the end that, because our instincts are sometimes based on fear, we can't rely on our intuition when it comes to making choices that promote happiness.

https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/can-you-actually-learn-how-be-happier-ncna1045316

MostlyWater

I can't click the link Can you post the article or at least tell us the main points?

try2again

MostlyWater wrote: »

I can't click the link Can you post the article or at least tell us the main points?

Not sure how to post without all the embedded videos & junk. It's basically promoting a new podcast, "The Happiness Lab", from a Yale psychologist named Laurie Santos who teaches a course called "Psychology and the Good Life". Here are the main takeaways:

"We asked Santos if there were three simple behavioral modifications, or shifts in ways of thinking, that could help us all get happier, or as she defines happiness, improve our sense of well-being.

1) Take time to connect with other people. “Loneliness is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day,” Santos says, advising we reach out and connect with others even in the simplest of ways. “Call up a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. Or just chat with the barista at a coffee shop. Research shows that simple act will improve your mood more than you think.”

2) Count your blessings. Study after study shows that grateful people are happier, says Santos, who recommends pausing for a second before each meal to feel gratitude for it and all the nourishment you receive in general. Or, jot down a few things you're thankful for before bed each night.

3) Remember: your circumstances don't matter as much as you think. Santos says though it’s easy to think a change in our circumstances — like a new great thing, a new job, or a shift in our romantic relationships — can bring us happiness, unless you're really in a traumatic situation, they aren’t as instrumental to happiness as we can think. Instead, she says, take a load off your mind and realize that things are probably OK just the way they are."

NovusDies

My personal list:

1) Don't view happiness as something you deserve. View it as something you earn/accomplish.
2) Find an appropriate balance between happiness and sacrifice. Don't be willing to sacrifice all your happiness thinking you will have more at some later date.
3) Manage your expectations. Life may have some big happy moments but day to day it will most likely contain tiny ones that you should appreciate.

lporter229

I love # 1. It is so true. Sometimes just a 5 minute conversation with a stranger is all it takes to turn your mood around. For example, yesterday as I was getting ready to leave work, a delivery man arrived (after hours) with a package and I was the only one there to receive it. He had caught me on my way to my car and I had to let him back in the building, wait for him to unload the package and bring it up the elevator. At first I was agitated and annoyed because I was on my way to meet someone and I was afraid I was going to be late. The whole time he was just chatting and chatting like we were old friends getting caught up over coffee. But as he was telling me all of these details about his brother taking over his now deceased father's job as the announcer for their local football team, he was just smiling and happy as can be. His energy was completely contagious because I ended up engaging in a conversation with him that lasted several minutes longer than it took to deliver the package and I didn't even care that I was now going to be pressed to meet my friends on time. Instead, I got in my car feeling very happy for this random man, who was clearly excited about how his brother was honoring the memory of their father. This, in turn, lifted my spirits as well and I was glad that he caught me before I made it to my car. The little things.

try2again

Yes, @lporter229 , I can attest to this as well. I often get in extended funks where I rarely leave the house, but eventually I have to go get some groceries or return the kids' books to the library or something, and it's almost bizarre how being forced to smile at someone and have a brief interaction can somehow cut through some of the haze.

AnnPT77

NovusDies wrote: »

My personal list:

1) Don't view happiness as something you deserve. View it as something you earn/accomplish.
2) Find an appropriate balance between happiness and sacrifice. Don't be willing to sacrifice all your happiness thinking you will have more at some later date.
3) Manage your expectations. Life may have some big happy moments but day to day it will most likely contain tiny ones that you should appreciate.

I like your list, but #2 is severely fraught, for me. I'd double-underscore "appropriate balance" if I could.

I get that many people arrive at a place like MFP ready to "give it all up" to reach the magical nirvana of thinness, and that's a bad (no win) route.

But I got fat in the first place by allowing short-term pleasure-seeking to overwhelm good sense about long-term health (which turns out to be future me's happiness, once I get there). (I see people around me have bad results in analogous ways with financial decisions, too, among others.)

Balance. Balance, for sure.

And #4 (as a good buddy for #1): Focus on what you personally can influence or control. Those are the levers for change, because they're the only things you personally can change. Focusing on unmoveable obstacles wastes energy, fosters resentment, reinforces feelings of powerlessness, and ultimately leads to stasis.

try2again

AnnPT77 wrote: »

NovusDies wrote: »

My personal list:

1) Don't view happiness as something you deserve. View it as something you earn/accomplish.
2) Find an appropriate balance between happiness and sacrifice. Don't be willing to sacrifice all your happiness thinking you will have more at some later date.
3) Manage your expectations. Life may have some big happy moments but day to day it will most likely contain tiny ones that you should appreciate.

And #4 (as a good buddy for #1): Focus on what you personally can influence or control. Those are the levers for change, because they're the only things you personally can change. Focusing on unmoveable obstacles wastes energy, fosters resentment, reinforces feelings of powerlessness, and ultimately leads to stasis.

I very much like your #4 and it would make a good addition to the original list. Circumstances may not matter as much as we think, but certainly there are some situations within our control where changes can be very helpful.

try2again

So what do you think, @NovusDies , do we share a woo-stalker in common that is trying to get their fix?

NovusDies

try2again wrote: »

So what do you think, @NovusDies , do we share a woo-stalker in common that is trying to get their fix?

Could be. I have a couple of them I think.

Hannahwalksfar

Happiness isn’t a natural state. It’s an earned state. You also have to believe that you are worthy of joy to experience it. If you strive for it but you don’t think you really deserve it then it’ll continue to dodge you.