77 Days to go for him!

IronLady1963

I have lost, gained and regained the same pounds over and over. I seem to be running in circles, like a hamster in the wheel. Why can't I break away from my habits? I am the worst yoyo dieter on this planet. Sugar and too much red meat affect my arthritis, then I get stiff and don't move well. I know it all, still, I eat what harms me.

Whenever I stick to my plan I feel not good, but better. I can tell the difference. My joints are no longer hot to the touch, my fingers and wrists are less swollen, and not as stiff. Walking and standing in the shower is all of a sudden not a big deal anymore.

Still, I always go back to my old ways, hard to explain. I am hurting myself and I continue to do so.

I am not an idiot but I sure act like one, don't I?

But now I will have to change my ways. My husband got injured at work and his neck surgery is scheduled 77 days from today, on November 20th.

Then he will have to rely on me and I am unreliable at this point.

I hurt! I hurt! I hurt!

I eat wrong! I eat wrong! I eat wrong!

Why? You tell me I can't have it, I want it even more.

I am on a crossroad. Either I get my act together, or I will fail me and my husband, which I prefer not to do. I want to be there for him, want to be able to walk into the hospital and sit with him. I want to be able to help him up, prepare meals and cut them for him, and not the other way around.

77 days till surgery. It's a countdown for me, more than from him. I have no more room left to goof off. This time it's about him and not me, perhaps that's all I needed.

Food, please, be my friend!

Food, please work with me and not against me!

Food, please, let me control you for once!

I have been a good girl yesterday and I am mighty proud of it.

Gluten-free Oats with coconut milk and blackberries for breakfast.
Minestrone for Lunch
Quinoa with steamed Zucchini, Bok Choy and Seaweed for Diner. Not my favorite, but filling.
Today in the morning I got the reward. I hurt less. Voila, that's a start!

(Weight unknown at this point, still somewhere around 280 lbs I guess. Need to get a new battery for the scale today.)

I hope to find some friends here who will fight there one fight but will make me feel less alone here.

LyndaBSS

Welcome to the community!

If you haven't already, read the stickies at the top of the getting started forum. Very informative and helpful.

Are you ready to do this? Really ready? Accountability and discipline come from within. We have to reach deep inside to access it. You can do this! We're here to support you through the process.

Buy a food scale if you don't have one. Set your weight loss goal for 1 pound a week. Eat the foods you love so you don't feel deprived. Stay in a calorie deficit and lose weight.

Good luck with your journey!

cowsanddogsarecute

You can add me. I have osteoarthritis in my knees and in my left lumbar spine. I have noticed any food that helps or hinders me, however if I stop moving it's very likely my arthritis will play up the next day! The worst thing being I'm 35! Let's help each other.

sugaraddict4321

Welcome to the MFP Community. Please take a deep breath and be kind to yourself.

You're feeling overwhelmed right now and that's understandable. Remember that you didn't get in the shape you are overnight, so it's going to take time to change. But you can change, a little bit at a time.

You might find it easier to set smaller, realistic goals instead of trying to tackle everything at once and then feel like you've failed. Okay, the surgery is in 77 days. What realistic, long-term, sustainable changes can you make now so that you're in a better place then?

You're not a bad girl. There are no bad foods. You don't have to starve yourself or restrict yourself from all the foods you love as some sort of punishment. If there are higher-calorie foods you love, eat less of them.

Do as LyndaBSS says - get a food scale. Weigh and log everything you eat. It might be best to do this for a few weeks and then you can see what adjustments to make. If you don't know how much you're consuming now, it's hard to know how much you should be consuming.

Also take a look at this thread:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300331/most-helpful-posts-getting-started-must-reads#latest

It's a list of the "most helpful" threads, as recommended by members of the community

Start there. Start today. Don't give up on yourself.

cheryldumais

I agree with the other posters. You are likely trying to change too much too fast. Start slow maybe by eliminating the foods that seem to cause the most trouble. Find things that are better to eat that you enjoy. If you force yourself to eat things you hate you won't last. Try things you haven't before to see what appeals to you. Losing weight and keeping it off is really about changing your lifestyle. That takes time. Be patient and don't beat yourself up. It's a learning process.

I hear alot of worry and frustration in your post. Find a way that's healthy to blow off some steam. I walk but that might not be an option for you. I can tell you tho that my arthritis has improved tremendously by walking. I had to start really slow and work my way up. Like literally a few blocks to begin with. Maybe swimming might be less stressful on your painful joints? If exercise is not an option find a hobby that makes you happy. Scrapbooking, bird watching, singing lessons... You get the idea. These things add some positive energy into your life and take you away from eating because you are bored, upset or not feeling well.

Trust me it works. Good luck on your journey and I hope hubby's surgery goes well.