Question for the Lifers

Emmapatterson1729

Been on here for about 3 months. I just cleaned off friends list for the first time. Around 100 cut, most inactive for over a month.

Question is: does anyone who's been on here a long time find it discouraging how many come and go, or ever discouraged by how many start and quit after being active and gungho for first couple of weeks?

Or is it something you just become used to?

BasedGawd412

Don't care, I'm here for me.

Emmapatterson1729

BasedGawd412 wrote: »

Don't care, I'm here for me.

That would be a healthier way for me to look at it!

88olds

I lost about the last 30-40 of 100 lbs at Weight Watchers. First thing I noticed was the revolving door nature of the place. People starting and stopping all the time. A lot who made goal weight and regained everything they had lost. Often with more added on.

I was determined not to do that. Same thing happens on MFP.

So I see what happens, but I’m not discouraged because of what others do. It reminds me how fragile successful weight loss can be. I’m fortunate to have found my way.

Katmary71

I'm not discouraged but miss some of them.

Pamela_Sue

I have been on here since May and my first MFP friend has disappeared already. It does sadden me as I realize they may have given up. But I am also grateful that I am hanging in there and don't want the same to happen to me.

corinasue1143

I’m here off and on for several years. I really wish I had a way to contact some of them. I’m not used to it yet. And yet I do it, so it may bother others when I drop out. Hmmm.

Boxn_n_Bellydancn

I’ve been here for almost 10 years. I keep a small list of less than 15, and most I have been connected to for a long time. They’re like close friends to me and we interact daily. Quality over quantity for me.

Emmapatterson1729

Thanks for all the replies!!

Emmapatterson1729

Boxn_n_Bellydancn wrote: »

I’ve been here for almost 10 years. I keep a small list of less than 15, and most I have been connected to for a long time. They’re like close friends to me and we interact daily. Quality over quantity for me.

@Boxn_n_Bellydancn

10 years is very impressive!!!

I was trying to keep a small tight knit friends list. But it just kept growing. I did cut it back today mostly to the people who sign on, log, and converse.

I just didn't realize I had so many on list who disappeared.

Emmapatterson1729

88olds wrote: »

I lost about the last 30-40 of 100 lbs at Weight Watchers. First thing I noticed was the revolving door nature of the place. People starting and stopping all the time. A lot who made goal weight and regained everything they had lost. Often with more added on.

I was determined not to do that. Same thing happens on MFP.

So I see what happens, but I’m not discouraged because of what others do. It reminds me how fragile successful weight loss can be. I’m fortunate to have found my way.

@88olds

I tried weight watchers, but at the location I was at no one conversed. They came, weighed, listened to the speaker, and bolted. No real way to connect to others, but Gilbert, AZ wasn't known for it's friendliness,



@corinasue1143

I've been on and off MFP for years too, this is the first time using the community. I never realized all of this was here.

Emmapatterson1729

Pamela_Sue wrote: »

I have been on here since May and my first MFP friend has disappeared already. It does sadden me as I realize they may have given up. But I am also grateful that I am hanging in there and don't want the same to happen to me.

@Pamela_Sue

I started in June, and most that started same week on my friends list are already gone. Glad we're still here sticking to it!!

88olds

I think weight loss is a solitary pursuit. I found WW to be mostly the school of what not to do. I eventually made a couple of WW friends and some social media weight loss friends. I’ve been with some folks on a weight loss message board for about 10 years. But its all because I’ve found some people who match my staying power.

We each have to find our own way in this. If you start in a group of 10 people, get to goal weight and stay there, you are likely on your own at that point. Eventually you will find your way to people who match your persistence. But you’re right, most folks who start this quit sooner rather than later. One lesson I take form that is don’t quit.

nighthawk584

as others have said...I'm doing this for myself. I admit, I like to think I may inspire a few people along the way, but that can only go so far. Everyone has to do this FOR THEMSELF.

AnnPT77

Every kind of group I've ever been part of, online or RL, has had some people who stick with it relatively long term, and some who do it for a shorter time then drop out (often lots of the latter). The more challenging or more niche (less widely popular) the activity, the faster/more people drop it, generally.

Has applied to MFP, crafts groups, exercise classes, clubs of various sorts, class sequences in non-exercise subjects (more people in beginner classes, few in advanced).

Bottom line: The drop out rate seems like normal human behavior to me.

I do worry about former MFP friends that I thought were on a poor (scary) track, psychologically or physically. Also, given the potential benefits, it makes me sad in general that lots of people give up. I can only hope that they find a different route to the same ends that works for them. I'm not super optimistic based on the stats and RL experience with friends, though.

fatoldladyonamission

I've been on both sides of this. I've lost friends who have quit and I'm sad to say I've also been the quitter. I don't intend to be again but I'm guessing everyone says and thinks that when they start.

In addition I'm sad that I've lost some of the good friends I had previously who are still here but obviously gave up on me because I left. I can't blame them for that but I do miss them.

That said I'd agree that you have to be in it for yourself. You can't rely on anyone else to keep you on board.

I like company though and I like having like minded people to chat to online about the whole process.

LyndaBSS

I've only been here 3 months so don't notice people leaving too much in my friends list.

It saddens me in the forums, though, when I see yet another "starting over" or "back again" thread. It means that all of those people weren't able to make this a lifestyle change.

I've been very happy with my results so far. I'm looking forward to the rest of my journey. This is for me, nobody else.

pinuplove

I joined 8 years ago, but was largely absent for 4 of those years in the middle. I've seen a lot of people come and go, a few I regret not having a secondary way to contact. That's just how it goes. Some met their goals and moved on. But the majority of them just drift away.

I'm a terrible MFP "friend." I rarely post and only occasionally like or comment on their stuff to remind them I'm still alive.

There are regulars I interact with on the forums only that I consider friends (whether they know it or no ) who are not on my friends list. I'd miss them if they disappeared.

Emmapatterson1729

@LyndaBSS

I believe you and I started at the same time. Glad to see you still here commenting everyday and welcoming newbies!!

@pinuplove @fatoldladyonamission @nighthawk584
@AnnPT77
@Katmary71

Thanks for replying.

I enjoy reading all the comments and advice you guys provide through the forums!! Definitively providing inspiration!

Annie_01

pinuplove wrote: »

I joined 8 years ago, but was largely absent for 4 of those years in the middle. I've seen a lot of people come and go, a few I regret not having a secondary way to contact. That's just how it goes. Some met their goals and moved on. But the majority of them just drift away.

I'm a terrible MFP "friend." I rarely post and only occasionally like or comment on their stuff to remind them I'm still alive.

There are regulars I interact with on the forums only that I consider friends (whether they know it or no ) who are not on my friends list. I'd miss them if they disappeared.

This is why I no longer accept friend requests...I am just horrible at being a friend on this site. I also found the feed annoying when everyone was congratulating each other on being way below their calorie goal or making excuses as to why they couldn't lose or they gained weight.

Emmapatterson1729

Annie_01 wrote: »

pinuplove wrote: »

I joined 8 years ago, but was largely absent for 4 of those years in the middle. I've seen a lot of people come and go, a few I regret not having a secondary way to contact. That's just how it goes. Some met their goals and moved on. But the majority of them just drift away.

I'm a terrible MFP "friend." I rarely post and only occasionally like or comment on their stuff to remind them I'm still alive.

There are regulars I interact with on the forums only that I consider friends (whether they know it or no ) who are not on my friends list. I'd miss them if they disappeared.

This is why I no longer accept friend requests...I am just horrible at being a friend on this site. I also found the feed annoying when everyone was congratulating each other on being way below their calorie goal or making excuses as to why they couldn't lose or they gained weight.

@Annie_01

I understand the feed annoyance!

This is part of the reason I just cut my list down! I'm already getting close to the point of not wanting to accept anymore friends request.

I mostly kept people who get in enough calories and have open diaries.

With a history of eating disorders, I can't watch people starve themselves; it was triggering some really bad side effects. I finally decided I have to put myself and my health before others.