Question for the Lifers

RelCanonical

I've been on MFP for about 6 years, with a gap in between. When I came back, I intentionally decided to not add people to my friends list. I wanted to see how it would be just focusing on myself and only being held accountable by myself. I kind of enjoyed it. I made friends on here anyway but they just have to deal with no being "MFP Official" lol.

doingthisforme16

Emmapatterson1729 wrote: »

Been on here for about 3 months. I just cleaned off friends list for the first time. Around 100 cut, most inactive for over a month.

Question is: does anyone who's been on here a long time find it discouraging how many come and go, or ever discouraged by how many start and quit after being active and gungho for first couple of weeks?

Or is it something you just become used to?

I think people coming and going is just symptomatic of the Internet in general and even our broader culture that chases "instant gratification."

That being said, I've found some great friends on MFP. These friends / myself have been able to support and encourage each other.

nutmegoreo

RelCanonical wrote: »

I've been on MFP for about 6 years, with a gap in between. When I came back, I intentionally decided to not add people to my friends list. I wanted to see how it would be just focusing on myself and only being held accountable by myself. I kind of enjoyed it. I made friends on here anyway but they just have to deal with no being "MFP Official" lol.

It means nothing if it's not MFP official. :laugh:


I've been around since 2012, although not active on the forums for the first year, and then slowly started stepping my toes into the forums. I started adding friends at that time (2013) and many have come and gone. I regularly delete people who have been inactive for a long period of time, although there are a few I just can't bring myself to remove. As in real life, people come and go, and that is often because their priorities shift over time. I do wonder about them, and some I even worry about. At the end of the day, there is nothing I can do about it, and ultimately I am here for me.

I am like @pinuplove and tend to be a sucky MFP friend, so I rarely add people.

Emmapatterson1729

Thanks for replies! It's interesting to get others' perspectives on the social aspect.

I've been on and off since the app came out. Always a new profile, user name, etc. I honestly never in all the years realized there's a community and feed. At one point I synced contacts (but it was just one sister).

I would click diary, log, and get off. So the social aspect is totally new to me, and it is a completely different experience.

I enjoy it most days!

Thanks again, for all the responses!!

Mccmack

I'm back on MFP after being off for about a year. I lost 60 pounds and then gained back 40 in the time I was off MFP. In the time I was off, my favorite friend defriended me. It bummed me out. She was a good friend. I watched her lose about 60 pounds and change her profession, her outlook and her life. I had several friends do similar things in the time was logging on MFP. Watching people go through their journey is fun. But the thing that will ultimately keep me on MFP has to come from me. If I don't track my eating, I have never been able to control my weight. So, it is all a part of my journey. I don't believe there is a difference between losing weight and maintaining in that it requires the same discipline to do both. Right now, I'm not pursuing friends because I need to make me a believer at this time. But if I do get back to pursuing friends it will be for the joy of seeing people making positive changes in their lives.

lorrpb

Thanks for the reminder to delete inactive friends I have a few very wonderful friends I interact with occasionally but most I never hear from. I've been on here 5+years and generally have a friends list of about 150. I know very few. I tend to get a lot of adds whenever I post about my successes. I used to reject requests that didn't include an introduction, then I learned that not all app platforms allow that option. So I accept, most people never respond if I do message them, then when they fall off I delete them so as not to clutter up my list too much. If anyone wants back on, they can send me another request.

Honestly, your MFP friends are internet avatars, not "real friends" for the most part (a few are). Don't get your feelings hurt if someone doesn't engage. Just enjoy those who do!

Emmapatterson1729

Mccmack wrote: »

I'm back on MFP after being off for about a year. I lost 60 pounds and then gained back 40 in the time I was off MFP. In the time I was off, my favorite friend defriended me. It bummed me out. She was a good friend. I watched her lose about 60 pounds and change her profession, her outlook and her life. I had several friends do similar things in the time was logging on MFP. Watching people go through their journey is fun. But the thing that will ultimately keep me on MFP has to come from me. If I don't track my eating, I have never been able to control my weight. So, it is all a part of my journey. I don't believe there is a difference between losing weight and maintaining in that it requires the same discipline to do both. Right now, I'm not pursuing friends because I need to make me a believer at this time. But if I do get back to pursuing friends it will be for the joy of seeing people making positive changes in their lives.

@Mccmack

That's my favorite part of my friends list is seeing people succeed and transform. Already seen amazing transformations, weightloss and the self confidence that comes with it.

Talking people into not giving up when they're ready to throw in the towel and quit, suggesting a few tips, and then seeing them thrive is very fulfilling!

I usually quit MFP when I hit my goal, I maintain for years, get injured to point of being immobile, gain and end up back on MFP to assess calorie intake, log, and lose again. (It's a cycle I've been on for years).

I just can't seem to start calorie deficit after injury without seeing it on here in black and white.

Thanks for replying!

Emmapatterson1729

lorrpb wrote: »

Thanks for the reminder to delete inactive friends I have a few very wonderful friends I interact with occasionally but most I never hear from. I've been on here 5+years and generally have a friends list of about 150. I know very few. I tend to get a lot of adds whenever I post about my successes. I used to reject requests that didn't include an introduction, then I learned that not all app platforms allow that option. So I accept, most people never respond if I do message them, then when they fall off I delete them so as not to clutter up my list too much. If anyone wants back on, they can send me another request.

Honestly, your MFP friends are internet avatars, not "real friends" for the most part (a few are). Don't get your feelings hurt if someone doesn't engage. Just enjoy those who do!

@lorrpb

That's a good point, would always accept lost friends back if they came back.

I don't really get my feelings hurt from friends list or messaging (general forums are another story). I do think it's a little sad seeing so many give up.

The inactives, you never know if they continue in real life trying to lose with a different app or different approach. But some who started at the same time, similar goals, who were very active on here, loved the app, just disappear... You kind of know they gave up.

Also seen a few just bluntly say they give up and quit, then never log on again...

What can I say, I am a hormonal, over-emotional female combined with being a mother-hen type who wants to fix and save everyone, LoL.