Ashamed

Re-re-re-restarting for what feels like the billionth time on this weightloss journey. But here I am ashamed and disappointed in myself looking for some friends to support and motivate me and vice versa.
So here goes -
I'm Ari.
24
5' 1 (ish)
SW 187.2 lbs
CW 185.4 lbs
Short term goal weight 150 lbs
Long term goal weight 125 lbs
September goal - lost 5lbs

Replies

  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    No need to be ashamed. You know what your goal is and that's good
  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
    I have been there! But here u are fighting to get healthier! One day at a time
  • geraldaltman
    geraldaltman Posts: 1,739 Member
    I have been disappointed, annoyed, irritated and even PO'd at myself over the various fitness false starts in my life. However, I cannot honestly say I have been ashamed! Maybe there was something deep within that told me that despite that there was something that would ultimately stick! I think that has been realized with my finally getting my mobility addressed thru hip replacements and rehab. Once through all that, I "ran with it" and haven't looked back!!
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    ljevans97 wrote: »
    Hey! Don’t feel ashamed, feel proud you ever decided to taking the step to achieve your goal. “Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s part of it.”

    Trying my best to look at it positively and use those feelings as motivation
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    I have been there! But here u are fighting to get healthier! One day at a time

    Baby steps
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    I have been disappointed, annoyed, irritated and even PO'd at myself over the various fitness false starts in my life. However, I cannot honestly say I have been ashamed! Maybe there was something deep within that told me that despite that there was something that would ultimately stick! I think that has been realized with my finally getting my mobility addressed thru hip replacements and rehab. Once through all that, I "ran with it" and haven't looked back!!

    That's major! Great job in getting through that and carrying on
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    s131951 wrote: »
    No need to be ashamed. You know what your goal is and that's good

    Time to put in the work now
  • SoleTrainer60
    SoleTrainer60 Posts: 180 Member
    Hey young lady. Please don’t be ashamed. You just need to take one day at a time. You can do this. I have had my ups and downs with this healthy journey. We all have those days. :)
  • geraldaltman
    geraldaltman Posts: 1,739 Member
    Amara411 wrote: »
    I have been disappointed, annoyed, irritated and even PO'd at myself over the various fitness false starts in my life. However, I cannot honestly say I have been ashamed! Maybe there was something deep within that told me that despite that there was something that would ultimately stick! I think that has been realized with my finally getting my mobility addressed thru hip replacements and rehab. Once through all that, I "ran with it" and haven't looked back!!

    That's major! Great job in getting through that and carrying on

    Thank you!
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    Hey young lady. Please don’t be ashamed. You just need to take one day at a time. You can do this. I have had my ups and downs with this healthy journey. We all have those days. :)

    Thanks for your kind words, it's really hard not to feel down about it but I'm willing to try my best at it
  • SuziQ113
    SuziQ113 Posts: 1,520 Member
    Never, ever be ashamed of yourself unless you set out to intentionally harm someone else. That said, life is full of starts and stops. Remember it is not a sprint it's a marathon. Every start is a new beginning and each phase is a lesson.
  • sksk1026
    sksk1026 Posts: 215 Member
    Don't be ashamed. This is hard for all of us. I think you're great to keep trying. You just need to find what works for you. Weight management is an individual thing. Just keep trying different strategies e.g. a walk, lighter recipes for food you love, lower calorie takeout, a weightloss podcast etc. You sound as if you're inclined to be hard on yourself so check your weight loss plan to make sure it isn't impossibly strict or punishing. You need to find a way to eat well, forever.
  • BuddhaBunnyFTW
    BuddhaBunnyFTW Posts: 157 Member
    Be kind to yourself.

    The more we Love ourselves, the greater capacity we have to love others,
    The Kinder we are to ourselves, the greater capacity we have to be kind to others,
    The more Compassion we have for ourselves, the greater capacity we have to be compassionate to others,
    The more we Forgive ourselves, the greater capacity we have to forgive others, and
    The more Patience we have for ourselves, the greater amount of patience we will have for others.
  • bionicrooster
    bionicrooster Posts: 353 Member
    Dont be ashamed be hopefully. Many of us started our weight loss / get healthy journey much later in life 😁
  • lindseyt71901
    lindseyt71901 Posts: 57 Member
    Hi, Ari! We're kind of twinkies with our stats and your posting situation...

    I am re-re-re-starting again, 3 days in, and I started off (this time) at 189.4. I'm currently at 187 and I am 5'1"... Nowhere near 24, thank the moon and the stars!

    Wanna be friends? I have one so far. I went to one of the message boards where people say, "Add me!". I've sent so many friend requests, have 1, and wonder what I am doing wrong. I hear that having friends really keeps the motivation flowing.

    Either way, best of luck and never be ashamed of choosing "Day 1" again. Truth is, it's a testament to your strength, not your weakness. Day 1 is always the hardest stinking day, regardless of the situation. You'll do great.
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    suzstaats wrote: »
    Never, ever be ashamed of yourself unless you set out to intentionally harm someone else. That said, life is full of starts and stops. Remember it is not a sprint it's a marathon. Every start is a new beginning and each phase is a lesson.

    Thank you so much for the inspiring words
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    sksk1026 wrote: »
    Don't be ashamed. This is hard for all of us. I think you're great to keep trying. You just need to find what works for you. Weight management is an individual thing. Just keep trying different strategies e.g. a walk, lighter recipes for food you love, lower calorie takeout, a weightloss podcast etc. You sound as if you're inclined to be hard on yourself so check your weight loss plan to make sure it isn't impossibly strict or punishing. You need to find a way to eat well, forever.

    That's what I'm trying to do right now, still incorporate foods I love but healthier recipes or smaller quantities. Thanks a bunch for the great advice
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    Hi, Ari! We're kind of twinkies with our stats and your posting situation...

    I am re-re-re-starting again, 3 days in, and I started off (this time) at 189.4. I'm currently at 187 and I am 5'1"... Nowhere near 24, thank the moon and the stars!

    Wanna be friends? I have one so far. I went to one of the message boards where people say, "Add me!". I've sent so many friend requests, have 1, and wonder what I am doing wrong. I hear that having friends really keeps the motivation flowing.

    Either way, best of luck and never be ashamed of choosing "Day 1" again. Truth is, it's a testament to your strength, not your weakness. Day 1 is always the hardest stinking day, regardless of the situation. You'll do great.

    Hey I'd love to be your friend. Gonna go add you right away. It's great to have someone on this journey with similar stats. I cannot wait to support you through this journey
  • vollkornbloedchen
    vollkornbloedchen Posts: 2,243 Member
    Amara411 wrote: »
    I have been there! But here u are fighting to get healthier! One day at a time

    Baby steps

    Exactly!
    Point is to understand what that actually means:
    - Small steps
    - Stumbling and falling is part of the learning-process (You can't run if you didn't learn to walk)
    - Fails are NOT the problem ... Giving up is.

    Accept that failures are a good chance to learn something about yourself ... and if only how to avoid this specific fail for the next time ...

    You can make it if you REALLY want to
    But go there one pound at a time ...
    no need to hurry, you didn't put the weight on within two weeks so do not expect it to go away fast.

    I wish you all the best
  • ChickieBoom22
    ChickieBoom22 Posts: 80 Member
    Shame is pointless and destructive. Be proud of yourself that you haven’t given up! Take all that you’ve learned from your past experience and apply it to this journey. Believe that you can do this!!

    And maybe be a little excited for the success to come! I’m excited for you!
  • Amara411 wrote: »
    Re-re-re-restarting for what feels like the billionth time on this weightloss journey. But here I am ashamed and disappointed in myself looking for some friends to support and motivate me and vice versa.
    So here goes -
    I'm Ari.
    24
    5' 1 (ish)
    SW 187.2 lbs
    CW 185.4 lbs
    Short term goal weight 150 lbs
    Long term goal weight 125 lbs
    September goal - lost 5lbs

    Please don't be. It is not a moral failure.

    Something that helped me was looking at things from a positive angle.

    For example, I don't run because I want to lose weight, I run because I like it, I'm outside, it's pretty, feel better after etc.
    If I also happen to lose weight that is a bonus.

    There is always a different perspective, although sometimes you have to look hard for it.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    The amazing thing about the goal to lose weight, is that it is absolutely achievable because it is totally under your control. It isn't something that happened to you or is a mystery. Weight gain is something we all did to ourselves and we can undo it just as easily.
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    Amara411 wrote: »
    I have been there! But here u are fighting to get healthier! One day at a time

    Baby steps

    Exactly!
    Point is to understand what that actually means:
    - Small steps
    - Stumbling and falling is part of the learning-process (You can't run if you didn't learn to walk)
    - Fails are NOT the problem ... Giving up is.

    Accept that failures are a good chance to learn something about yourself ... and if only how to avoid this specific fail for the next time ...

    You can make it if you REALLY want to
    But go there one pound at a time ...
    no need to hurry, you didn't put the weight on within two weeks so do not expect it to go away fast.

    I wish you all the best

    I totally agree my problem has always been giving up... trying not to let myself go down that path again
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    Shame is pointless and destructive. Be proud of yourself that you haven’t given up! Take all that you’ve learned from your past experience and apply it to this journey. Believe that you can do this!!

    And maybe be a little excited for the success to come! I’m excited for you!

    Trying to get myself excited about fitting into my clothes again
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    Amara411 wrote: »
    Re-re-re-restarting for what feels like the billionth time on this weightloss journey. But here I am ashamed and disappointed in myself looking for some friends to support and motivate me and vice versa.
    So here goes -
    I'm Ari.
    24
    5' 1 (ish)
    SW 187.2 lbs
    CW 185.4 lbs
    Short term goal weight 150 lbs
    Long term goal weight 125 lbs
    September goal - lost 5lbs

    Please don't be. It is not a moral failure.

    Something that helped me was looking at things from a positive angle.

    For example, I don't run because I want to lose weight, I run because I like it, I'm outside, it's pretty, feel better after etc.
    If I also happen to lose weight that is a bonus.

    There is always a different perspective, although sometimes you have to look hard for it.

    That's a really good way to look at things. Thanks for the advice 😁
  • aimjolie
    aimjolie Posts: 60 Member
    Feeling ashamed is not going to help you. Be proud that you want to improve. Take small steps. Make 5lbs your goal. When you reach that goal give yourself some non-food
    treat, like see that movie you wanted to see, etc. Than make another 5 lbs your goal. Don’t look at the total amount you need to lose because it can be overwhelming.
    When you see that your clothes are getting
    a little looser, treat yourself to a cute blouse or sweater. Treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. Be kind to youself. Make you a priority. Eat healthy! You can do this!!
  • Honestly I've been there for real. Shame is how we get defeated. I agree with all the comments above. The only way I was able to deal with the emotional toil of the process is Jesus. I found my worth and value in Him alone. He told me who I was and not the scales or the carbs or the circumstances. My mental health improved drastically but it still was not easy so just expect the journey to be hard and long. But it's worth it.
  • Amara411
    Amara411 Posts: 54 Member
    aimjolie wrote: »
    Feeling ashamed is not going to help you. Be proud that you want to improve. Take small steps. Make 5lbs your goal. When you reach that goal give yourself some non-food
    treat, like see that movie you wanted to see, etc. Than make another 5 lbs your goal. Don’t look at the total amount you need to lose because it can be overwhelming.
    When you see that your clothes are getting
    a little looser, treat yourself to a cute blouse or sweater. Treat yourself like you would treat a best friend. Be kind to youself. Make you a priority. Eat healthy! You can do this!!

    I replied to this so long ago I can't believe it never posted.. Thanks for the kind words I plan on taking this 5lbs at a time and treating myself to workout clothes as a reward as I go
  • cvdub16
    cvdub16 Posts: 71 Member
    I agree no need to be ashamed! I have been in your situation many times and I am currently in it right now! I was 210lbs when I found out I was pregnant with my second child who is 5 months now, and some how I lost weight during and after the pregnancy. So I got down to 165lbs but I have gone back up to 175lbs.

    I'm Cass

    5'3ish

    CW 174lbs

    Long Term goal: 140lbs

    Fell free to add me!