Three Years Later

About this time three years ago I made the decision to start getting my weight under control - at 5'5 and 184 I was moving out of feels good and curvy and into "yikes" when I saw random photographs. I was fairly sedentary outside of organised team sports a couple of times a week, and I always enjoyed food and the portions and the pounds crept.

It took me 8-9 months to lose 40lbs. The first 10 I lost by adopting the one habit of "eat a damn vegetable" by which I made myself eat a proper serving or two of fruit or vegetables with meals. That loss was fast but then slowed right down which is when I came to use MFP. I got an Apple Watch, I used Couch to 5k. I did home workouts. I counted calories. After my last 5lbs or so I joined a gym as I had got quite physically weak and set about maintenance.

Maintenance has been far rockier for me than any of the time losing ever was. The disheartening realisation that you don't ever go back to how things were before, eating wise, and over time that the difference for me between maintaining with 2-3lbs and not is about 200 calories a day. I found the usefulness of volume eating, high fibre, voluminous low calorie foods stuffed my fridge. That and my cardinal rules of be prepared, don't get over hungry, and log everything served me very well for a long time.

But I got tired. I got SO tired of tracking and being hungry, and intermittently took time off. In those gaps I knowingly succumbed to "the log isn't watching, eat cupcakes" mentality. April of this year I decided to go a full month off logging, and I gained 3-4lbs that has taken me many months since to jettison again. Looking for something sustainable, I continued logging and working out while I attempted to figure out what my food future was going to look like, veering into over-exercising and developing some orthorexic tendencies that had a predictable knock-on effect on my social life and sense of mental health. My hunger remained at "I could eat something" pretty much 24 hours a day.

I'm not a big conscious analyzer, and just buckling down and waiting to see what surfaced, idea-wise, is more my process. All of a sudden earlier this month I decided it was time to go off log again and to eat more loosely but also mindfully and I'm cautiously optimistic. It's been about two weeks of no logging but sticking to my own version of clean and healthy with treats reasonably proportioned and spaced out, and really thinking about what my body WANTS to eat at any given snack or mealtime and balancing that intellectually with what I know about my day as it stands. The scale behaves exactly as I know it will given what I do and what I eat, I don't have to weigh and count to know how dinner should be or if I can splurge a bit at breakfast one day. I'm finally able to trust the absorption of all the facts and habits and evidence of the last couple of years and have hopefully found a version of intuitive eating that is working for me. PR'd my single mile and 5k time both just in the past two weeks - coincidence maybe, but I like to think it's a fact of loosening up and feeding myself - both food wise and mentally - in a funner way to aid my mood and ability to drive and recover.

Example from today: I ate a reasonable breakfast of overnight oats with fruit, had some toast and butter after I came back from my run. Lunch I just ate a home made quiche with beans, something which would NEVER have appeared on my menu this last couple of years, due to sticker shock from the calories and fear that the small volume would leave me hungry with minimal room left in the day. But I'm full enough and happier on it. I have a nice peach to have in a half hour or so, and some tea later on to get me through the rest of the work day.

I know I'm rambling a bit but maintenance has the potential to be quite the rollercoaster, as a lot of posts here evidence. I just wanted to share my version and the hope that I've finally found about giving myself a break - I feel like anybody who's got here and is seriously trying to stick with things knows or will soon know how tiring is keeping up the iron will. Don't rush yourself, keep logging, take practice breaks, allow good habits long stretches of time to solidify, keep your rules broad and flexible. That's all I got.

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Replies

  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    About this time three years ago I made the decision to start getting my weight under control - at 5'5 and 184 I was moving out of feels good and curvy and into "yikes" when I saw random photographs. I was fairly sedentary outside of organised team sports a couple of times a week, and I always enjoyed food and the portions and the pounds crept.

    It took me 8-9 months to lose 40lbs. The first 10 I lost by adopting the one habit of "eat a damn vegetable" by which I made myself eat a proper serving or two of fruit or vegetables with meals. That loss was fast but then slowed right down which is when I came to use MFP. I got an Apple Watch, I used Couch to 5k. I did home workouts. I counted calories. After my last 5lbs or so I joined a gym as I had got quite physically weak and set about maintenance.

    Maintenance has been far rockier for me than any of the time losing ever was. The disheartening realisation that you don't ever go back to how things were before, eating wise, and over time that the difference for me between maintaining with 2-3lbs and not is about 200 calories a day. I found the usefulness of volume eating, high fibre, voluminous low calorie foods stuffed my fridge. That and my cardinal rules of be prepared, don't get over hungry, and log everything served me very well for a long time.

    But I got tired. I got SO tired of tracking and being hungry, and intermittently took time off. In those gaps I knowingly succumbed to "the log isn't watching, eat cupcakes" mentality. April of this year I decided to go a full month off logging, and I gained 3-4lbs that has taken me many months since to jettison again. Looking for something sustainable, I continued logging and working out while I attempted to figure out what my food future was going to look like, veering into over-exercising and developing some orthorexic tendencies that had a predictable knock-on effect on my social life and sense of mental health. My hunger remained at "I could eat something" pretty much 24 hours a day.

    I'm not a big conscious analyzer, and just buckling down and waiting to see what surfaced, idea-wise, is more my process. All of a sudden earlier this month I decided it was time to go off log again and to eat more loosely but also mindfully and I'm cautiously optimistic. It's been about two weeks of no logging but sticking to my own version of clean and healthy with treats reasonably proportioned and spaced out, and really thinking about what my body WANTS to eat at any given snack or mealtime and balancing that intellectually with what I know about my day as it stands. The scale behaves exactly as I know it will given what I do and what I eat, I don't have to weigh and count to know how dinner should be or if I can splurge a bit at breakfast one day. I'm finally able to trust the absorption of all the facts and habits and evidence of the last couple of years and have hopefully found a version of intuitive eating that is working for me. PR'd my single mile and 5k time both just in the past two weeks - coincidence maybe, but I like to think it's a fact of loosening up and feeding myself - both food wise and mentally - in a funner way to aid my mood and ability to drive and recover.

    Example from today: I ate a reasonable breakfast of overnight oats with fruit, had some toast and butter after I came back from my run. Lunch I just ate a home made quiche with beans, something which would NEVER have appeared on my menu this last couple of years, due to sticker shock from the calories and fear that the small volume would leave me hungry with minimal room left in the day. But I'm full enough and happier on it. I have a nice peach to have in a half hour or so, and some tea later on to get me through the rest of the work day.

    I know I'm rambling a bit but maintenance has the potential to be quite the rollercoaster, as a lot of posts here evidence. I just wanted to share my version and the hope that I've finally found about giving myself a break - I feel like anybody who's got here and is seriously trying to stick with things knows or will soon know how tiring is keeping up the iron will. Don't rush yourself, keep logging, take practice breaks, allow good habits long stretches of time to solidify, keep your rules broad and flexible. That's all I got.

    Hugs Melanie. Rooting for you@achieving your ideal.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Listening to myself I think I am doing the right thing riding it out and accepting wherever I level out, where I remain active and capable of living my life.


    ^^ this sounds like a great plan.
  • swim777
    swim777 Posts: 599 Member
    Listening! Losing weight again after two years of maintenance. On my way back down, trying to hit that happy balance this time. Exercise is fine, calories are okay for now, but I really struggled to maintain. I don’t want to lose a large amount again. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, but it is crazy to keep having to start over. All tips are welcome!
  • MadisonMolly2017
    MadisonMolly2017 Posts: 11,155 Member
    I'm over 7 years into this process now and maintenance continues to be very challenging for me, more-so the further into it I get. Like you I got so freakin' tired of the tracking, the hunger from having to stop eating because I was out of calories etc. And then this year I started transitioning into perimenopause, and that's added a layer of difficulty on top of an already frustrating experience.

    I've made some drastic changes to my maintenance plan over the past few months and things are going much better now but I know that I have a long road ahead of me yet, along with the ups and downs that will continue to come as I get closer to menopause etc.

    I don't have any advice but I completely understand and empathize with you. Best of luck to you as you continue to move forward ~hugs~

    @SarahAnne3958
    Thank you for your insights.

    I’m curious what drastic changes you made to your maintenance , if you are willing to share!
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Thanks for the update @MelanieCN77
    I've not logged this week and feeling very on top of things. I've not logged before different times and for several months at a time. I go back to logging now and again if I see weight creep but I've realised I actually don't need to log to either lose/maintain. And not logging makes me happy :smile:
    I like having the confidence to know I really do have this and I think you have too :smiley: