The High Wears Off

Terytha

For the first 4 or 5 months, every time that scale dropped I had a surge of joy and excitement. Sure I had a million miles to go, but progress! That's better than before.

Now when it drops I just feel tired.

Half a year of hard work and my reward is... harder work. And I guess 50 lbs gone. But my pants are the same size and I can still hardly look in the mirror. It sort of feels like no matter how far I go, I'll never change size. -_-

I know that's not true, but I've never not been fat, and feeling exactly the same after half a year is hard. Plus we're going into winter. 20 cm of snow this weekend. Nothing good ever happens when it's icy out.

jenncornelsen

That is hard. Do you feel better? Maybe less winded, able to walk farther, or faster? If you lift weights are you getting stronger? Sometimes we need to gauge our progress in other ways. Hang in there!

Jthanmyfitnesspal

You have accomplished so much in losing what you've lost. It's hard for us to judge ourselves kindly, and I bet you look quite different than when you started. You also must feel different. The reality is that you are different, truly lighter on your feet. Take a victory lap! Throw a dance party!

There's no reason not to go on maintenance for a while. Keep logging (after my last big cut I logged for a year while on maintenance). Set some new goals. Appearance is not a lasting motivator. A better one is being able to do stuff that maybe you couldn't do before. Can you dance the tango? Play softball?

LyndaBSS

You've had tremendous succes so far. You're allowed to feel off.

This is a very arduous journey. Our minds are never really free from the thoughts surrounding weight loss. It's mentally exhausting.

I hope you give yourself the reward of relaxation. Maybe it's time for a short break from it all?

corinasue1143

The time will come, and I’m guessing it’s not far off for you, when it will show so much more. At 5’10”, 260, I wore a 20 pants, 22 top. At 220, my 20s are baggy, but I’m still wearing them. I can get my 18s on, but I can’t breathe yet. Mostly 20 tops. From the last time I lost, I expect at 200 I will be wearing 16 pants, 16-18 top. I’m so excited about the next 20 pounds!!
That’s as far as I got last time, but I do feel absolutely positive that past that point, the pounds will really show.
Don’t lose heart! Don’t lose momentum! Just keep going! You’ll be so glad you did when you’re rocking those shorts next summer!!!

Annie_01

Maybe you need to shift your focus for a while. Set new goals. Change things up a bit. I always stay more motivated when I not only set long term goals but have mini goals that I reach. I still have 35-50lbs left to lose. Weight loss is still important to me but I have decided to shift my focus to fitness for a while.

Terytha

I don't want to take a break. I hate being fat, taking a break would just delay my escape and destroy my mental health.

I'm really tired and burned out. My mini-vacation is still 2 weeks away.

SuziQ113

I think many times our view of ourselves is distorted. And, the scale doesn't always show the results we expect.

It sounds like you are in real need of your mini vacation. It is something to look forward to and you can look at it as a way of rewarding yourself of that 50 pound loss! That's fantastic.

Being tired can be a symptom of many different underlying issues. Dehydration is a big cause. But if you are constantly tired it may be time for a quick doctor's visit for a complete blood workup. You may be low in some essential vitamins/nutrients. Iron is a big one for women.

Did you or do you have a picture at the start of your journey? Maybe take another in the same outfit. I think you will find there is a big difference. One thing I did was to take my measurements at the start. After a month I was like wow, I am 2 inches down (this was all over). Decided to add additional measurements. This has helped me see something other than pounds on a scale and a different type of progress.

Hang in there - your're doing great. 50 pounds in 6 months is a huge loss.

anubis609

Terytha wrote: »

I don't want to take a break. I hate being fat, taking a break would just delay my escape and destroy my mental health.

I'm really tired and burned out. My mini-vacation is still 2 weeks away.

Being really tired and burned out is already destroying your mental health. White knuckling your way through fat loss carries a lot of risk to rebound from being stressed and frustrated.

No one likes being fat. I promise you that. But fat loss takes longer than you would like it to happen. Part of long-term fat loss is that you develop healthy habits, both with diet and mental outlook. You can't demand a promotion in your job if you haven't put in enough meaningful time and results, which is the same for fat loss. It happens when it happens and the more consistent you are, the easier it seems.

The suggestion to take a diet break is far more than just giving you a mental reprieve, it's a physiological one as well. You're welcome to read through this discussion of refeeds and diet breaks as it applies to all dieters, even if the original intention was geared toward leaner dieters.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks/p1

bear2303

Jthanmyfitnesspal wrote: »

You have accomplished so much in losing what you've lost. It's hard for us to judge ourselves kindly, and I bet you look quite different than when you started. You also must feel different. The reality is that you are different, truly lighter on your feet. Take a victory lap! Throw a dance party!

There's no reason not to go on maintenance for a while. Keep logging (after my last big cut I logged for a year while on maintenance). Set some new goals. Appearance is not a lasting motivator. A better one is being able to do stuff that maybe you couldn't do before. Can you dance the tango? Play softball?

I wish i would like this more than once. Not sure if OP received benefit from your post but i wanted to let you know that i did!!!

elisa123gal

You say you wear the same pants? What has amazed me, is when I see some of the before and after photos on the forums here when people wear the same clothes in both. They will have lost 50 or more pounds and have the same dress on..and look crazy amazing in the after photo.

I bet you are way smaller and those pants fit way more comfortably. Hang in there.. the time will come when they'll drop off of you and you'll have to buy new clothes. We all have down days and feel blah.. it will pass. You're doing great.

cbihatt

Terytha wrote: »

I don't want to take a break.I hate being fat, taking a break would just delay my escape and destroy my mental health.

I’m really tired and burned out.My mini-vacation is still 2 weeks away.

You may not want to take a break, but I think you would really benefit from one. It doesn’t have to be a long term break. A short break would at least take your focus off the scale number going down, and might help you bring back your excitement for losing when you get back to it.

Another thing that might help is to work on some other goal. It can be anything: eating a specific number of vegetables in a week, walking a certain number of steps each day, increasing your flexibility, getting a certain number of hours of sleep each night, flossing, etc.

I certainly have days where I feel like the process is dragging on. I swear I have been losing the same 1 pound forever, but when I look at my weight trend over time, it helps me remember that I am moving in the right direction even though I can’t see it on my body. So, maybe spend some time really looking at your weight graph and acknowledging to yourself just how far you have come. And remember that tomorrow, you will have traveled one step closer to your goal.

Jthanmyfitnesspal

Terytha wrote: »

I don't want to take a break.

OK! You be 100% you!

I just point out that going on maintenance is really not taking a break. It requires just as much diligence as cutting. Done correctly, however, you shouldn't be hungry very often (although hunger is a very sneaky thing).

Terytha

I'm tired and burned out from work sucking and being sickly. The more weight I lose, the more goes wrong with my health.

I feel like going on a diet break would just add another layer of unhappiness on this depression sandwich.

Besides, I'd rather go on break at Christmas.

Joanna2012B

I am sorry that you are feeling so defeated. You have accomplished so much and should be extremely proud of yourself. I second eating at maintenance for a little bit. I am not sure what you do for exercise, but maybe try something new/different. Exercise is my anti-depressant and would be in a dark place without it!! I hope you find the peace and inner strength to carry on and not give up!!

seltzermint555

Terytha, do you have a regular doctor you like and trust? I think something may be "off" if you're feeling worse with weight loss and have depression and other issues happening at the same time. If it's possible for you, I'd talk to them about it...maybe not even so much about the weight loss topic but what is going on with your overall wellness! It sounds like maybe you have something going on with your thyroid or hormones that could be playing into all of this.

Bartacles

I get where you are coming from, I'm kinda in the same place. 45 lbs down, struggling with the seemingly endless chore of eating right, sleeping right, exercising right.

Someone shared this recently that seems to sum up this stage nicely, and it helped a little:

Embrace the suck
Verb, Military Slang: To consciously accept or appreciate something that is extremely unpleasant but unavoidable for forward progress

And if I'm honest I wouldn't categorize all this as extremely unpleasant. It's not always fun to get up early to get the run in, or to skip the calories you are craving, but it beats feeling unhappy about yourself, and where you let yourself get to.

Hang in there!

SuziQ113

Terytha wrote: »

I'm tired and burned out from work sucking and being sickly. The more weight I lose, the more goes wrong with my health.

I feel like going on a diet break would just add another layer of unhappiness on this depression sandwich.

Besides, I'd rather go on break at Christmas.

Hi - I mentioned in my previous post you may need to get a check up. Seeing that you're feeling worse the more you lose weight makes me want to push you to set up an appointment. I know everyone is different, but a co-worker who had some rapid loss (40 pounds over 4 months) was having the same issue. She went to the doctor and found her gallbladder was not working properly. Again, do not want to scare you, but with the symptoms of feeling sickly it really is time to schedule an appointment.

We are all pulling for you and want you to feel at your optimal best.

Terytha

SuziQ113 wrote: »

Terytha wrote: »

I'm tired and burned out from work sucking and being sickly. The more weight I lose, the more goes wrong with my health.

I feel like going on a diet break would just add another layer of unhappiness on this depression sandwich.

Besides, I'd rather go on break at Christmas.

Hi - I mentioned in my previous post you may need to get a check up. Seeing that you're feeling worse the more you lose weight makes me want to push you to set up an appointment. I know everyone is different, but a co-worker who had some rapid loss (40 pounds over 4 months) was having the same issue. She went to the doctor and found her gallbladder was not working properly. Again, do not want to scare you, but with the symptoms of feeling sickly it really is time to schedule an appointment.

We are all pulling for you and want you to feel at your optimal best.

I'm at the doctor every couple weeks and have been all year. I have multiple doctors even. And a standing order for blood tests.

There's nothing wrong with me. Well. Nothing new. There's all the problems the doctors have caused, because doctors are useless and only make my life worse. Nothing good ever comes from talking to one.

But my bloodwork is normal. My xrays were normal. Everything is normal.

I go again next Friday but I'm sure I can predict the results.

vggb

Working on significant weight loss (congrats on the 50lbs!) and ongoing health issues is overwhelming and at this time seems insurmountable to you. I admire that you don't want to quit the dieting and applaud your resolve. I don't think the diet is the root to your depressed feelings.

Maybe you should be more demanding with your doctors, we are our best advocates. Write down your questions and concerns and then address them with the doctor, that's what I do. I feel like I have a voice in my health care and you should too.

Best of luck and this will pass, you have lots of support here!

Pamela_Sue

Terytha wrote: »

For the first 4 or 5 months, every time that scale dropped I had a surge of joy and excitement. Sure I had a million miles to go, but progress! That's better than before.

Now when it drops I just feel tired.

Half a year of hard work and my reward is... harder work. And I guess 50 lbs gone. But my pants are the same size and I can still hardly look in the mirror. It sort of feels like no matter how far I go, I'll never change size. -_-

I know that's not true, but I've never not been fat, and feeling exactly the same after half a year is hard. Plus we're going into winter. 20 cm of snow this weekend. Nothing good ever happens when it's icy out.

Terytha, I don't have much to offer except commiseration. I have lost 35 pounds, with another 50 to 60 to go. And I am also still wearing the same pant size, especially because my stomach is still so large. And NO one has noticed. And as much as compliments make me uncomfortable, the validation is important to me and helps keep me going, but I'm not receiving any validation (okay, my parents say they notice, but they are my parents).

My joy and positive reinforcement comes from that Monday weigh-in, but lately it doesn't seem to be enough. It just reminds me of how far I have to go and I get really down on myself. I have been at this since February and just want to be DONE!! Knowing that I have another year or so is pressing in on me, pressing me down.

So, what do we do about it? I already took a 10-day diet break in July, and just don't feel ready for another one. It didn't really help my mindset that much. I already take medication for depression. I would feel a bit better if I got back to my exercise routine, but just don't have the mental energy this past month. For me, it is mental energy, not physical, that I am lacking.

Have you tried any meditation, or positive thinking? That is my next step, because not much else is helping. I have seen posts on here before about YouTube videos along these lines. I am a spiritual person, so perhaps I need to be meditating on scripture. A book was also recommended to me about changing my thought patterns. I am now reminded I need to order that (if I have the mental energy to read it). I also belong to a challenge group here and it does help me. It helps me to be with one small group of people that I recognize and to see their struggles are not that different than my own, with exciting highs, and depressing lows. The struggle is real, but we are not alone.

You are such a lovely young lady, and I have found your posts these last months to be thoughtful and helpful in my journey. You have been an inspiration to me. There are so many people cheering you on.