What Is Respect?
KosmosKitten
Posts: 10,476 Member
Simple question, complex answers. What does respect mean to you? How do you respect yourself? How do you define respect of others. What sorts of things do other people do that you consider disrespectful (either to themselves or others) and why is that?
I realized in re-reading the replies of another thread that people have so many differing opinions on what "respect" entails and they aren't all mutually exclusive.
So come and discuss. Have some hot tea (or a buttload of booze) and discuss the intricate things that make us all tick.
I realized in re-reading the replies of another thread that people have so many differing opinions on what "respect" entails and they aren't all mutually exclusive.
So come and discuss. Have some hot tea (or a buttload of booze) and discuss the intricate things that make us all tick.
4
Replies
-
A person in my family had a mobster mentality about respect. He felt it was something you paid to someone’s face. a public show. proper etiquette with or without sincerity.2
-
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »A person in my family had a mobster mentality about respect. He felt it was something you paid to someone’s face. a public show. proper etiquette with or without sincerity.
Different. Is it really respect without any type of sincerity behind it though? Seems kinda farcical to me.
I have a lot of questions about this topic (like I do about extramarital relationships, apparently).2 -
it did not seem at all like respect to me but that was his definition. 🤷♀️CanesGalactica wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »A person in my family had a mobster mentality about respect. He felt it was something you paid to someone’s face. a public show. proper etiquette with or without sincerity.
Different. Is it really respect without any type of sincerity behind it though? Seems kinda farcical to me.
I have a lot of questions about this topic (like I do about extramarital relationships, apparently).0 -
Interesting, I've never really thought about what it means, but at the same time I do consider myself "respectful", most of the time.
For me I guess it's about treating people as I'd like to be treated, and basically not judging their choices or opinions.
I also "respect" some people in an admiration kind of way, or in agreement, or in feeling I've learned something valuable from them.
Self respect to me is listening to your inner voice and letting it lead you in your choices, whatever they may be.6 -
I find chronic lateness disrespectful, it like saying your "time" is more important or valuable than mine.
I've always thought "respect where respect is due" too, for example if you have a professional opinion, are older, younger or in a position of authority, it doesn't warrant unconditional or immediate respect beyond what I'd give to any other person.3 -
I find chronic lateness disrespectful, it like saying your "time" is more important or valuable than mine.
I've always thought "respect where respect is due" too, for example if you have a professional opinion, are older, younger or in a position of authority, it doesn't warrant unconditional or immediate respect beyond what I'd give to any other person.
I agree with this assessment.
The thread about cheating got me to thinking: is it disrespectful to cheat on your spouse? Which then led me to "what is respect, really?" How is what I do with my body in any way a disrespect to another person who has no say over what I do with myself?
Then I got into trying to define loyalty and gave up. It's so complicated.3 -
There's common respect that I'd show strangers like, saying excuse me even when I have enough space to walk by them. Respect to elders as in I'd go a little out of my way to be more polite to someone of advanced age like giving up my seat. Real respect though would be a form of admiration. I'd go above and beyond for someone I respected. I can only think of this as a teacher or boss way. I'd over achieve to impress them. I guess to me it's the amount of effort I'd put into the relationship. Respect for myself would be no negative self talk and listening to myself in a positive way.
I often think "respect for yourself" as a phrase is usually a negative statement meant to shame you.
Also this made me think of this..
5 -
I don't think I can define it but I tend to see respect in levels or degrees, like mtndewme describes.
There's a basic level of respect for everyone by virtue of being another human being, which is probably more like common courtesy.
A deeper level of respect for people with whom I am in a social relationship of some sort, which would include degrees of empathy and support, honouring their choices and boundaries.
Then there's respect for authority, which could be vested in a position, or earned by someone who demonstrates knowledge and leadership. My manager gets a certain amount of my respect because of her role, but she's earned a much greater amount by being a damn fine manager.
Self-respect? Behaving in a manner that is congruent with my moral code. Doing the right thing (whatever "right" is for that individual) even when no one is watching.
I think respect is one of those things that tends to get defined more by its absence. We are quick to draw attention to things that are disrespectful and spend less time defining what respect is.4 -
Respect needs to be earned it is not automatic. Even though it seems to me, many people think it is automatic. In my mind I link respect and trust very closely together.
However I do agree with those who said certain positions of authority, are given respect just by being that stated position. But this still need to show they are worthy of that respect. Some show how great they truly are, others not so much.
I try to treat others, same way I would want to be treated. And for many it works out great. But sad to say there are always some that want respect, but do not understand should be a two way street.
People always late, or just do not show, and say oh it was today. Key to this is not to let them keep getting away with it. But then that starts the whole disrepect ball going.
I think the phrase of you disrespected me blah, blah is way overused.1 -
Respect is much like the Supreme court's ruling on what is porn......you will know it when you see it......4
-
-
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
Me too super weird1 -
As far as respect towards your partner...if you set up certain boundaries like being committed...then its disrespectful to break agreed upon boundaries.🤷♀️2
-
isalsayourface123 wrote: »As far as respect towards your partner...if you set up certain boundaries like being committed...then its disrespectful to break agreed upon boundaries.🤷♀️
What if boundaries were never set or agreed upon though? How is respect defined toward your partner while also maintaining self-respect?1 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »As far as respect towards your partner...if you set up certain boundaries like being committed...then its disrespectful to break agreed upon boundaries.🤷♀️
What if boundaries were never set or agreed upon though? How is respect defined toward your partner while also maintaining self-respect?
imo in that case it’s a conscience thing. but when in doubt talk it out1 -
This content has been removed.
-
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »As far as respect towards your partner...if you set up certain boundaries like being committed...then its disrespectful to break agreed upon boundaries.🤷♀️
What if boundaries were never set or agreed upon though? How is respect defined toward your partner while also maintaining self-respect?
imo in that case it’s a conscience thing. but when in doubt talk it out
Well I'm screwed then. My conscious is MIA and has been for years. :laugh:1 -
If we are talking about respect with regards to relationships, I think this is expressed through verbal and non-verbal communication.
In my previous relationship I was not listened to and my needs were dismissed or not met altogether. Often I was subject to manipulative and controlling behaviour. Eventually, double standards and hypocrisy led me to lose respect for him as I felt he was unreliable and untrustworthy.1 -
If we are talking about respect with regards to relationships, I think this is expressed through verbal and non-verbal communication.
In my previous relationship I was not listened to and my needs were dismissed or not met altogether. Often I was subject to manipulative and controlling behaviour. Eventually, double standards and hypocrisy led me to lose respect for him as I felt he was unreliable and untrustworthy.
I meant it in all forms. A lot of times what people consider "respect" is actually "dignity", something that all humans should have a right to, unless you see other humans as non-persons. It's just that the other thread led me to question several things and gave me a lot of insight that people define that word differently.
Respect seems to be different depending on the individual.2 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »If we are talking about respect with regards to relationships, I think this is expressed through verbal and non-verbal communication.
In my previous relationship I was not listened to and my needs were dismissed or not met altogether. Often I was subject to manipulative and controlling behaviour. Eventually, double standards and hypocrisy led me to lose respect for him as I felt he was unreliable and untrustworthy.
I meant it in all forms. A lot of times what people consider "respect" is actually "dignity", something that all humans should have a right to, unless you see other humans as non-persons. It's just that the other thread led me to question several things and gave me a lot of insight that people define that word differently.
Respect seems to be different depending on the individual.
I would agree with your sentiment about dignity. Oftentimes I think people confuse respect with admiration too.
I suppose on a general basis, I would propose that I respect a person based on their characteristics - e.g. if they are able to be honest, if they are trustworthy etc... This is where your above distinction comes in to play as I know I am capable of showing maturity and kindness to those who have wronged me (dignity as you termed it), yet that does not mean I respect them.0 -
2 -
Respect to me is about seeing, acknowledging, learning and honoring the ideals and principles of another person, another culture or organisation. Respect to me is also about adhering to codes of conduct, protocols, mannerisms and value systems where situationally appropriately applied in a personal/cultural/organisational setting.
Culturally in my case, every matter including coital conduct between two people of tribal nobility, who are to be be wed is haggled over by representative male elders ( where your immediate male relatives are present) to establish a marital contract, boundary settings ( acreage and relational .ie # of additional allowable females may be added before running the risk of insult), to establishing a home with caregivers etc (think ketubah, only with a laundry list of demands) is deemed as a show of respect both parties accord each other . To deny a girl of good breeding from a highly respected family this, is a show of intentional insult .2 -
For me, respect goes hand-in-hand with integrity and personal responsibility. I respect people who:
Tell the truth
Keep their commitments
Try to live up to their potential, who are trying to learn, achieve, and grow, even if others would dismiss what they're doing (people who work as cashiers and maids while they go through college, for example)
Respect has nothing to do with how much money you make. It has everything to do with integrity and effort, a willingness to take part in life and contribute to the good.
I don't respect people who lie, steal, cheat, trash up the environment because they don't care, who don't make efforts, make excuses, and are cruel to others.0 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »As far as respect towards your partner...if you set up certain boundaries like being committed...then its disrespectful to break agreed upon boundaries.🤷♀️
What if boundaries were never set or agreed upon though? How is respect defined toward your partner while also maintaining self-respect?
imo in that case it’s a conscience thing. but when in doubt talk it out
Well I'm screwed then. My conscious is MIA and has been for years. :laugh:
idk. you care enough to ask the questions so i’m guessing it’s maybe still there😊1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »CanesGalactica wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »As far as respect towards your partner...if you set up certain boundaries like being committed...then its disrespectful to break agreed upon boundaries.🤷♀️
What if boundaries were never set or agreed upon though? How is respect defined toward your partner while also maintaining self-respect?
imo in that case it’s a conscience thing. but when in doubt talk it out
Well I'm screwed then. My conscious is MIA and has been for years. :laugh:
idk. you care enough to ask the questions so i’m guessing it’s maybe still there😊
Perhaps, but it's mostly human nature that fascinates me.1 -
Is there an element of fear inherent in respect?0
-
-
I've always thought of respect in terms of trust. You have to earn my trust, and if you breach it, it tends to be gone either permanently, or for a very long time (talking years here). Same for respect. I'll treat you with deference at first, if you do the same with me. If you don't keep doing that, then I'll simply ignore you.0
-
CanesGalactica wrote: »
Yes1 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »
I think that's an excellent example. Am I showing the dangerous animal respect or just being cautious? It's a broad word . I don't think the " respect" I give a wasps nest is the same as what I give say a police officer when he puts his lights on and I pull over.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 394.2K Introduce Yourself
- 43.9K Getting Started
- 260.4K Health and Weight Loss
- 176.1K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 437 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.1K Motivation and Support
- 8.1K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.9K MyFitnessPal Information
- 15 News and Announcements
- 1.2K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.7K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions