I am devastated

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  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    I've been in the gym 6 days a week for 15 years but before that, when I had little kids, I was always active. Once I was walking with a friend who got a comment - do you work out, you look good?

    I was DYING. Listen, we aren't doing this for recognition. We're doing it for ourselves.

    I assume even before Pilates, you must have looked good.
  • unstableunicorn
    unstableunicorn Posts: 216 Member
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    It’s just bad photo conditions. :) I have photos from a month ago that make me look early 20s, but photos from ten years ago that made me look mid-40s.

    As someone else mentioned, there is a growing taboo against asking (even with good intentions!) about others’ weight loss. A lot of the time it’s to avoid potentially uncomfortable conversations or upsetting the person in question. Friends and distant relatives typically avoid asking me about my weight loss because one of my sisters suffers from a gastric disorder that at one point brought her weight below 80lbs. Your friends may have their own experiences that discourage them from bringing up the subject, or they may simply not see weight (if only amongst their loved ones).

    Regardless though, even if you only lost 5lbs, you have stuck with the pilates for ten months. That is no easy feat for many people! Take pride in your perseverance, and if you *really* need a visual reminder do what I did: Tape an ugly photo of yourself to the mirror. That will force you to see how far you’ve come!! :)
  • Lobsterboxtops
    Lobsterboxtops Posts: 92 Member
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    Here’s my experience FWIW, I’ve only had one “have you lost weight “ in the wild. I’m down about 20 known lbs (I didn’t weigh myself until about 6 months into exercising regularly).

    I have had people comment after I’ve said something about taking up rowing. It’s usually something like “I noticed a change, you look good”

    So I think it’s a matter of those we see regularly won’t notice the steady changes and those we don’t see regularly won’t comment out of politeness unless the subject comes up.

    I know I am different, my clothes and measurements tell me that. And even knowing that there are days that I can’t see any changes in myself, so I certainly can’t expect others to.


    Make this journey about you, and celebrate your wins and learn from your oops’s. Validation from others isn’t nearly as important as validation from yourself.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    Why don’t you post before and after pics here?! Well tell you the truth.
    PS Everyone takes a lot of bad pics 🤪
  • richstyles
    richstyles Posts: 18 Member
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    We all have horrible pics and amazing pics. Trust your heart! You felt awesome, cute, and confident therefore you were!

    Sometimes you will not compliment someone on "weight" because you deeply care about them. We all know how rocky this journey can be. Why would we sabotage all that hard work by inadvertently triggering them? It's hard to know what someone is going through. Worst case it could be terminal illness or an eating disorder.

    But maybe you missed some cues where they made some positive remarks that are kinda related. That's what I do.
  • Sylphadora
    Sylphadora Posts: 75 Member
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    Is your goal getting compliments or getting healthy? Forget the compliments. Enjoy your health! I actually hate it when people comment on my appearance, no matter if it's to tell me that I look slimmer. It feels like and intrusion and I'd rather be left alone. I'm very self-conscious and I don't like being the center of attention
  • Cat_A_89
    Cat_A_89 Posts: 93 Member
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    When i lost alot of weight (before gaining it back) years ago I was 70 pounds lighter and my boss said she didnt even notice "probably because she saw me everyday" lol. I didnt let that bother me I knew I looked and felt better. Pictures can always be unflattering even for thinner people. Look at all the tabloids trying to make beautiful celebrities look bad because they have a little cellulite or god forbid left the house without make up. Aslong as YOU know you look and feel better thats all that matters. A picture is meer seconds of a moment.

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