I'm not new to this site. I originally joined this site in 2013. I weights 162kg (357lbs) at the time. Over the next 4 years I lost 62kg (137lbs). During that time I was obsessed, measured and weighed everything. Going out cause friction in my marriage because I didnt want to go anywhere where I couldn't measure what I was eating, which is pretty much nowhere. South Africa isnt as progressive as some other countries. But, everything went well. I weighed 100kg (220lbs) which I was very comfortable with. I had 18% body fat. People were complimenting me (important for later) and thant kept me going and I even started doing crossfit and recomp.
Then in 2017 I got a new boss and things fell apart. Workload increased, deadlines shortened and started getting into a lot of trouble for poor quality work and not achieving my outputs. My end of 2018 I was depressed and I started eating more and stopped exercising because I had to work longer hours.
By March 2018 I couldn't take the work stress anymore and I got help. Turned out I have inattentive ADHD (the not-hyperactive kind) and reading/writing disorders. Even though South Africa has strict law protecting employees and my manager is a lawyer, the diagnoses made no impact. She simply refused to accept that it had any impact on my work and put even more pressure on me. So, I picked up more weight and by the time I resigned in July 2018 I had picked up 10kg (22lbs). The day after I resigned I got called in told to pack my stuff immediately and leave. They would pay me for the month but I wasnt alloed at the office, effectively making my resignation feel like I was fired. So, for a month I sat home, watched tv and ate.
Skip forward to now .. I have a great job, great "boss" and my life is damn near perfect. However, I now weigh 125kg (275lbs) and have lost most of my muscle mass. I just have no motivation to eat right or go to gym. I feel horrible about myself and the fact that i went from a Large shirt to XXXL. BUT apparently not bad enough to get me to live healthy. According to my doctor the ADHD meds are appetite suppressors but I haven't found that to be the case either.
How on Earth do I get back to being motivated to live healthy?