Online dating

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Replies

  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    joeynox wrote: »
    There's a billion apps out there but big ones like eEharmony and match are usually the best for finding a relationship while tinder, MeetMe, and the host of others seem best for hooking up.

    Be selective, don't rush into anything, if u get messages at first because it's usually either a bot (fake) or a dude wanting nudes.

    I don't think girls gets bots

    I only ever ran across one fake guy and I recognized it right away. He was using a model's pics and trying to get me to download an app. Nope! There was a guy on MFP running that scheme years ago too. In general I haven't run across the same problems that guys do on these apps.
    From what I hear men run into a lot of "professionals" and married women on some of the apps like POF. Bumble has less fakes it seems. I have also heard that Facebook is a good source to find real people. Keep in mind a real person isn't always real. Dating is a cluster *kitten* because a huge portion of people like to hide their flaws for a long time in the beginning. Be you. If you're not meant to be then there is no point in wasting your time.

  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    joeynox wrote: »
    I've used them and yes they can work. It really comes down to what you want, a play toy, fun time or relationship. Stick to your goals and you will find what you want but always be honest with the other person. I've made amazing friends, gone on great dates and HORRIFFIC ONES (which are just really funny to drink friends)

    I think this is good advice.

    To me the keys are delete/block ANY kind of red flag, even if you feel sort of mean doing it...you'll probably be better off. Be brutal in the early stages when it comes to that. Then when you find someone who seems promising, meet as soon as you can & in a low pressure public situation like coffee or lunch. Move on from there.

    I haven't been on the sites since meeting my husband in 2012, so I'm not up to date. At the time, I tried Plenty of Fish (seemed to be a lot of secretly married guys, mostly) and then OK Cupid. I have no idea if OK Cupid has changed or even still exists, but I really liked it. They had hundreds of questions for you to answer and then it gave you percentages of how "compatible" you might be, but not in a hardcore serious way, either. It was pretty cool. I found way better guys (in my area) on OK Cupid than POF.

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  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I have used the dating apps. It is very easy to get a date but most guys on there are only looking for one thing and in my experience, they are usually dating many women at once, and many aren’t even really single!

    I agree that this is accurate, but also ran into women dating several men at once. It can be quite amusing having my name confused with another's or past conversation continued that I wasn't involved with at all.
  • Motherofship
    Motherofship Posts: 122 Member
    I briefly tried Tinder when I was last on the market (6 or 7 years ago I think). It wasn't for me. I never felt witty or interesting enough or messaged back fast enough. I prefer to meet people in person.

    All I hear from friends (of varied genders and preferences) are complaints about the apps and dating culture surrounding them. All frustrations seem to boil down to lack of authenticity.

    That said, I know three couples who are now married (OKC), engaged (Match), and seriously dating 4ish years (Tinder).


  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    s131951 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I have used the dating apps. It is very easy to get a date but most guys on there are only looking for one thing and in my experience, they are usually dating many women at once, and many aren’t even really single!

    I agree that this is accurate, but also ran into women dating several men at once. It can be quite amusing having my name confused with another's or past conversation continued that I wasn't involved with at all.

    I told you sorry! Sheesh.
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    joeynox wrote: »
    There's a billion apps out there but big ones like eEharmony and match are usually the best for finding a relationship while tinder, MeetMe, and the host of others seem best for hooking up.

    Be selective, don't rush into anything, if u get messages at first because it's usually either a bot (fake) or a dude wanting nudes.

    I don't think girls gets bots

    I only ever ran across one fake guy and I recognized it right away. He was using a model's pics and trying to get me to download an app. Nope! There was a guy on MFP running that scheme years ago too. In general I haven't run across the same problems that guys do on these apps.
    From what I hear men run into a lot of "professionals" and married women on some of the apps like POF. Bumble has less fakes it seems. I have also heard that Facebook is a good source to find real people. Keep in mind a real person isn't always real. Dating is a cluster *kitten* because a huge portion of people like to hide their flaws for a long time in the beginning. Be you. If you're not meant to be then there is no point in wasting your time.

    Facebook??? I didnt know that! I'm not on FBI much but maaayyybbee...
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    joeynox wrote: »
    There's a billion apps out there but big ones like eEharmony and match are usually the best for finding a relationship while tinder, MeetMe, and the host of others seem best for hooking up.

    Be selective, don't rush into anything, if u get messages at first because it's usually either a bot (fake) or a dude wanting nudes.

    I don't think girls gets bots

    I only ever ran across one fake guy and I recognized it right away. He was using a model's pics and trying to get me to download an app. Nope! There was a guy on MFP running that scheme years ago too. In general I haven't run across the same problems that guys do on these apps.
    From what I hear men run into a lot of "professionals" and married women on some of the apps like POF. Bumble has less fakes it seems. I have also heard that Facebook is a good source to find real people. Keep in mind a real person isn't always real. Dating is a cluster *kitten* because a huge portion of people like to hide their flaws for a long time in the beginning. Be you. If you're not meant to be then there is no point in wasting your time.

    Facebook??? I didnt know that! I'm not on FBI much but maaayyybbee...

    Supposedly FB has a dating part now. One person told me it is better because you know all the people are actual people, but I wonder if that gives a false sense of security to some.
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  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    errickar wrote: »
    I briefly tried Tinder when I was last on the market (6 or 7 years ago I think). It wasn't for me. I never felt witty or interesting enough or messaged back fast enough. I prefer to meet people in person.

    All I hear from friends (of varied genders and preferences) are complaints about the apps and dating culture surrounding them. All frustrations seem to boil down to lack of authenticity.

    That said, I know three couples who are now married (OKC), engaged (Match), and seriously dating 4ish years (Tinder).


    Most of my friends who are now married met on a dating site, most on Match or Eharmony. I had zero luck in the past on those sites.
  • CaliValleyGirl
    CaliValleyGirl Posts: 744 Member
    I'm 43 now, my husband is almost 59. We met on a personal website. We weren't looking for a relationship much less marriage, but things turned out that way.
  • Finishiitnow
    Finishiitnow Posts: 896 Member
    theresa120 wrote: »
    I signed up for Bumble about 6 months ago, and have no experience with dating apps outside of it. The app is well designed, and you’re not bombarded with a million messages from random guys because, as I understand it, only the woman can message first, which honestly has it’s pros and cons, especially for someone like me, who is naturally quite shy haha
    It’s been pretty good so far. Met a few really nice guys I felt I “clicked” with. I agree with @joeynox , honesty is key.

    My friend recently suggested Hinge. Apparently, it’s more social. You can “like” certain aspects of a persons profile and initiate a conversation from there. I haven’t had the time or energy to look into it yet. Has anyone else tried it??

    Great suggestions. I believe I should go for Hinge first.... let's see how that goes.
    How much is Bumble?
  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    theresa120 wrote: »
    I signed up for Bumble about 6 months ago, and have no experience with dating apps outside of it. The app is well designed, and you’re not bombarded with a million messages from random guys because, as I understand it, only the woman can message first, which honestly has it’s pros and cons, especially for someone like me, who is naturally quite shy haha
    It’s been pretty good so far. Met a few really nice guys I felt I “clicked” with. I agree with @joeynox , honesty is key.

    My friend recently suggested Hinge. Apparently, it’s more social. You can “like” certain aspects of a persons profile and initiate a conversation from there. I haven’t had the time or energy to look into it yet. Has anyone else tried it??

    Great suggestions. I believe I should go for Hinge first.... let's see how that goes.
    How much is Bumble?

    It’s free! But there are paid options within the app to I guess boost your profile? I dunno. They gotta make money somehow lol

    Good luck! Let me know what you think of Hinge!
  • TomFit18
    TomFit18 Posts: 2,585 Member
    theresa120 wrote: »
    I signed up for Bumble about 6 months ago, and have no experience with dating apps outside of it. The app is well designed, and you’re not bombarded with a million messages from random guys because, as I understand it, only the woman can message first, which honestly has it’s pros and cons, especially for someone like me, who is naturally quite shy haha
    It’s been pretty good so far. Met a few really nice guys I felt I “clicked” with. I agree with @joeynox , honesty is key.

    My friend recently suggested Hinge. Apparently, it’s more social. You can “like” certain aspects of a persons profile and initiate a conversation from there. I haven’t had the time or energy to look into it yet. Has anyone else tried it??

    Great suggestions. I believe I should go for Hinge first.... let's see how that goes.
    How much is Bumble?

    I'm trying hinge! Looks ok just started thou
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    I met my last girlfriend on Bumble, and recently started seeing someone I also met on Bumble.

    From my understanding that sites that you don't have to match before messaging, women get bombarded with messages from guys, and can be quite overwhelming. Tinder they can't message until you are already matched, and bumble, as noted above, the woman has to message first, after you match (both swipe right).

    I have been on other free sites (POF, OK cupid), but more of a crapshoot with who is there and trying to get your message to stand out from the dozens or more she would have recieved.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    s131951 wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I have used the dating apps. It is very easy to get a date but most guys on there are only looking for one thing and in my experience, they are usually dating many women at once, and many aren’t even really single!

    I agree that this is accurate, but also ran into women dating several men at once. It can be quite amusing having my name confused with another's or past conversation continued that I wasn't involved with at all.

    i was dating a number of guys at once but i did go on dates with a few guys in the same space of time. i was getting to know them. chatted with a larger number...most didn't make the cut.
    but i found a nice guy on bumble-till he had a midlife crisis and decided i didn't fit in his life
    and now dating a nice guy from hinge. six months, still going strong.

    my first profile was nice. after the bumbleboy, i was very specific about what i wanted and what my life looked like. and that seemed to get rid of the ones who couldn't deal with the crazy that is my life.

    i did get a few hook up messages or a few that just wanted to chat. but mostly it was a good experience.

    i filled out profiles on most of the dating apps. hinge and bumble were the most successful. though i did have a few flakes on bumble.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    km8907 wrote: »
    Note on Bumble, my experience and theory that I confirmed with a guy I matched with, all of the guys will swipe on every girl since statistically very few women will swipe on a guy, so if they swipe everyone they'll get a match eventually. So you the girl get a match and message the guy, but he never had any intention of talking to you so your message gets ignored. It was frustrating.

    I probably only swipe right for every 10-20 women in my area... way more go to the left.

    I will only swipe right if they have something in their profile that catches my eye, besides just their pic. If you only have a pic, even if attractive, I swipe left. Looks are def not everything.
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    erickirb wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Note on Bumble, my experience and theory that I confirmed with a guy I matched with, all of the guys will swipe on every girl since statistically very few women will swipe on a guy, so if they swipe everyone they'll get a match eventually. So you the girl get a match and message the guy, but he never had any intention of talking to you so your message gets ignored. It was frustrating.

    I probably only swipe right for every 10-20 women in my area... way more go to the left.

    I will only swipe right if they have something in their profile that catches my eye, besides just their pic. If you only have a pic, even if attractive, I swipe left. Looks are def not everything.

    Wish more guys did this.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    erickirb wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Note on Bumble, my experience and theory that I confirmed with a guy I matched with, all of the guys will swipe on every girl since statistically very few women will swipe on a guy, so if they swipe everyone they'll get a match eventually. So you the girl get a match and message the guy, but he never had any intention of talking to you so your message gets ignored. It was frustrating.

    I probably only swipe right for every 10-20 women in my area... way more go to the left.

    I will only swipe right if they have something in their profile that catches my eye, besides just their pic. If you only have a pic, even if attractive, I swipe left. Looks are def not everything.

    The guy i'm dating now, actually didn't swipe right on me on bumble but did match me on hinge.
    go figure.
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    I have been dating all of you utilizing a space-age dating app that most of you haven't heard of yet

    How do I rate compared to these others? I would prefer you use a pie chart or spreadsheet to demonstrate this
  • mtndewme
    mtndewme Posts: 724 Member
    Reckoner68 wrote: »
    I have been dating all of you utilizing a space-age dating app that most of you haven't heard of yet

    It's getting pretty serious