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Guys honest opinion : The Belly

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  • slessofmeslessofme Posts: 6,051Member Member Posts: 6,051Member Member
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    MrAcavano wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I will say I think it's eye-roll-worthy all the judging people are doing of people who are judgmental of belly fat. Why is your judgement better than their judgement???

    Relationships are all about finding people who value what you have to offer and who don't care about what you can't offer. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, then look for people whose values/priorities line up with those things. If you find a bad fit, that doesn't make them an *kitten*... it makes them a bad fit for you.

    I’m with you about finding the right fit but judging someone on something they have no control over like scars from a c section and judging them for being a superficial a-hole is not the same thing.

    Original poster don’t worry. The men who will be bothered by your scars will be long gone when they find out you have kids. Lol. I know - I dated after divorce and saw the heels of many women running away when they found out I had two toddlers. The right people are out there. I found mine and I’m now remarried. :)

    Why does that make them superficial though? People are bad for having preferences?? Like a sneeze or a cough you can’t control what turns you on.

    There's a difference between having a preference for someone who is a certain body type and shaming others who don't meet that definition of attraction for you. The problem is that for a lot of people, they can't keep their *kitten* opinions to themselves and let it be widely known that they either look down on people who don't meet their standard for "type" or that that person should be made to feel shame over their body attributes, some of which can't be changed.

    They are superficial if they are willing to shame another person (often a stranger) who doesn't "hold up" in their eyes. If they keep their opinions to themselves unless asked, then cool. Not superficial per that alone.

    Did the OP say she was criticized for her belly from a dude? I must’ve missed that post I only read page one.

    I don't think she specifically mentioned that she was criticized for it, but other posters in here have mentioned it. That people are shallow. Then again, I know plenty of women who would shame other women for the same things men do.

    The sound advice is that if they are willing to shame or belittle a person over appearance, then they aren't a worthwhile human being to have in your life.

    I meant my statement in general to yours and the person you were responding to. There's a lot of disagreement from folks not because people have preferences (because that's fine), but for shaming people over your preferences to the point that they have no self-esteem.

    Sorry for the confusion.

    Or be more likely than men to shame other women.
  • KosmosKittenKosmosKitten Posts: 7,093Member Member Posts: 7,093Member Member
    slessofme wrote: »
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    MrAcavano wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I will say I think it's eye-roll-worthy all the judging people are doing of people who are judgmental of belly fat. Why is your judgement better than their judgement???

    Relationships are all about finding people who value what you have to offer and who don't care about what you can't offer. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, then look for people whose values/priorities line up with those things. If you find a bad fit, that doesn't make them an *kitten*... it makes them a bad fit for you.

    I’m with you about finding the right fit but judging someone on something they have no control over like scars from a c section and judging them for being a superficial a-hole is not the same thing.

    Original poster don’t worry. The men who will be bothered by your scars will be long gone when they find out you have kids. Lol. I know - I dated after divorce and saw the heels of many women running away when they found out I had two toddlers. The right people are out there. I found mine and I’m now remarried. :)

    Why does that make them superficial though? People are bad for having preferences?? Like a sneeze or a cough you can’t control what turns you on.

    There's a difference between having a preference for someone who is a certain body type and shaming others who don't meet that definition of attraction for you. The problem is that for a lot of people, they can't keep their *kitten* opinions to themselves and let it be widely known that they either look down on people who don't meet their standard for "type" or that that person should be made to feel shame over their body attributes, some of which can't be changed.

    They are superficial if they are willing to shame another person (often a stranger) who doesn't "hold up" in their eyes. If they keep their opinions to themselves unless asked, then cool. Not superficial per that alone.

    Did the OP say she was criticized for her belly from a dude? I must’ve missed that post I only read page one.

    I don't think she specifically mentioned that she was criticized for it, but other posters in here have mentioned it. That people are shallow. Then again, I know plenty of women who would shame other women for the same things men do.

    The sound advice is that if they are willing to shame or belittle a person over appearance, then they aren't a worthwhile human being to have in your life.

    I meant my statement in general to yours and the person you were responding to. There's a lot of disagreement from folks not because people have preferences (because that's fine), but for shaming people over your preferences to the point that they have no self-esteem.

    Sorry for the confusion.

    Or be more likely than men to shame other women.
    slessofme wrote: »
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    MrAcavano wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    I will say I think it's eye-roll-worthy all the judging people are doing of people who are judgmental of belly fat. Why is your judgement better than their judgement???

    Relationships are all about finding people who value what you have to offer and who don't care about what you can't offer. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses, then look for people whose values/priorities line up with those things. If you find a bad fit, that doesn't make them an *kitten*... it makes them a bad fit for you.

    I’m with you about finding the right fit but judging someone on something they have no control over like scars from a c section and judging them for being a superficial a-hole is not the same thing.

    Original poster don’t worry. The men who will be bothered by your scars will be long gone when they find out you have kids. Lol. I know - I dated after divorce and saw the heels of many women running away when they found out I had two toddlers. The right people are out there. I found mine and I’m now remarried. :)

    Why does that make them superficial though? People are bad for having preferences?? Like a sneeze or a cough you can’t control what turns you on.

    There's a difference between having a preference for someone who is a certain body type and shaming others who don't meet that definition of attraction for you. The problem is that for a lot of people, they can't keep their *kitten* opinions to themselves and let it be widely known that they either look down on people who don't meet their standard for "type" or that that person should be made to feel shame over their body attributes, some of which can't be changed.

    They are superficial if they are willing to shame another person (often a stranger) who doesn't "hold up" in their eyes. If they keep their opinions to themselves unless asked, then cool. Not superficial per that alone.

    Did the OP say she was criticized for her belly from a dude? I must’ve missed that post I only read page one.

    I don't think she specifically mentioned that she was criticized for it, but other posters in here have mentioned it. That people are shallow. Then again, I know plenty of women who would shame other women for the same things men do.

    The sound advice is that if they are willing to shame or belittle a person over appearance, then they aren't a worthwhile human being to have in your life.

    I meant my statement in general to yours and the person you were responding to. There's a lot of disagreement from folks not because people have preferences (because that's fine), but for shaming people over your preferences to the point that they have no self-esteem.

    Sorry for the confusion.

    Or be more likely than men to shame other women.

    Also true. Obviously, not every woman is that way, but I think we've all met at least one or two in our lifetimes. I've gotten it from both genders, so I haven't really noticed one gender partaking in it more than the other.

    Some people are just *kitten*. Yuck.
  • sdenness9925sdenness9925 Posts: 255Member Member Posts: 255Member Member
    zorander6 wrote: »
    There are two types of guys, the ones interested in your looks and the ones interested in you. Find the second group and they won't give a rats about your scars or other things.

    Just my not so humble opinion.

    Absolutely agree
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