Great first date, sort of

TarryTaffy

neilmoomey wrote: »

Perhaps he's not aware of his table manners. Go on another date and be honest with him. So what if you hurt his feelings. Being rejected will hurt his feelings too, trust me, but he will get over it and be a better man in the end. As a man I admire women who are honest and straight forward. Men don't hold grudges as long as you are honest. Teeth can be fixed. If it's important to you and he's in love he will fix them. I've been on dates and been honest with women several times. They took it pretty hard. One time I was kicked out of her house. But after six months we were good friends again.

The difference might be that you're a man. I've been stalked & harassed by men I've rejected (to the point that I've had to move), more than a handful of times, even though I was kind & softly said 'no' with respect... didn't matter... he's still an unknown stranger & who knows how he'll react.

He's not in love as they only had 1 date. If you're friends 6-mos later with someone you rejected, good for you, but that's not the norm from what I've heard from others.

I do my best to reject others by not saying things I don't mean. When a man says "nice to have met you" after a 1st date, I don't say the same if it wasn't... I say "thanks for coming out, take care". Take care to me means, I'll never see you again. Still, my awful (& dangerous) experiences (I won't elaborate) have left me not testing out online dating any longer. Anyone, male or female can describe themselves in any way they like, in order to draw others to them. No... no longer!

Personal experience, but if I'm not attracted to someone for whatever reason, it's the end. And, being honest, most men are the same. I've met horrendously unattractive men who've complained about meeting unattractive women & I've thought they're lucky anyone would meet them, given their looks & personality. In this day & age, people need to be careful, protect themselves & use their common sense & pay attention to feelings of anything that is off-putting, male or female.

For all the above reasons, I don't online date any longer. I've never met any man who was what he professed to be... nor looked anything like the pics he posted of himself, probably 20-yrs earlier. I don't know how to meet anyone anymore... but, I'll wait 'til I can do so in person. Just my opinion/experiences...

thereshegoesagain

I found out tonight that it's a bridge that got knocked off a counter and broke.
I kind of trolled his FB page and that of his ex girlfriend, who he told me was addicted to painkillers and was a mess. I'm kind of stunned at the lengths he went to to get her help before moving on.. He's a good man

LoveyChar

thereshegoesagain wrote: »

I had a coffee date this morning. It went so well that we walked to the market and bought a bag of carrots to feed to some horses and goats which were about a 2 mile walk away. After that, we decided to go to brunch together. He's funny, a gentleman, even sang to me as we slow danced for the horses.
But once we were sitting across from each other, I noticed he's missing several of his front lower teeth and he has horrible table manners.
Am I shallow for thinking these are deal breakers? How can I tactfully bring up these things without being judgemental?
We had great dynamics, but I don't know if I can deal with these issues.
Your thoughts please.

Missing bottom teeth is not a big deal. This could be genetic. I know someone like this and he never even had a cavity in his life. Bad table manners could be a different story, though. If he was rude to a server, nope, not acceptable. If he had his elbows on the table, I can overlook petty things. Please don't tell me he's past the age of 10 and chews with his mouth open.

I need to add that my husband eats incredibly fast, big huge bites. I don't even know how he's able to enjoy his food eating that fast. But he said in the military, he leaned to eat super fast because so many times he was rushed.

nooshi713

Let us know how the second date goes!

jacktherower

I only date married women

thereshegoesagain

nooshi713 wrote: »

Let us know how the second date goes!

He's coming over for Christmas dinner to meet some of my friends!

thereshegoesagain

LoveyChar wrote: »

thereshegoesagain wrote: »

I had a coffee date this morning. It went so well that we walked to the market and bought a bag of carrots to feed to some horses and goats which were about a 2 mile walk away. After that, we decided to go to brunch together. He's funny, a gentleman, even sang to me as we slow danced for the horses.
But once we were sitting across from each other, I noticed he's missing several of his front lower teeth and he has horrible table manners.
Am I shallow for thinking these are deal breakers? How can I tactfully bring up these things without being judgemental?
We had great dynamics, but I don't know if I can deal with these issues.
Your thoughts please.

I need to add that my husband eats incredibly fast, big huge bites. I don't even know how he's able to enjoy his food eating that fast. But he said in the military, he leaned to eat super fast because so many times he was rushed.

Eating big, huge bites is exactly what he does, it grosses me out. But he was in the Navy so maybe your explanation is why. Thanks for pointing it out.

AriesFL

I hope you two have a great time!

thereshegoesagain

Christmas dinner went great. He was attentive, helpful and sweet. I didn't notice his eating habits, probably because I was so busy serving, etc.

He came over yesterday so we could go to Vegas for the day, it's an hour's drive. He showed up with a dozen roses and some chocolates! We had a great time without gambling or drinking and laughed a lot. Hes goofy, silly and sweet.

Over lunch I did comment on how fast he eats, he said he never noticed it and I casually said maybe it started when he was in the Navy. I cooked dinner and noticed he was eating much more slowly.

He used to be in a band and now every evening he records a short lullaby and sends it to me, and sends a good morning song each day as well.

He says he knows what he wants and he wants me for the long term. He is very respectful of my sexual boundaries and we have opened up to each other about our past and what we want in the future.

This man is blowing my mind, I'm so drawn to him but taking it slowly.

AriesFL

I’m happy to hear it went well. I hope it continues to go well!