After 65 lb weight loss.. NOW being called fat?
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I think sometimes we get stuck on the bad stuff that happens, because its almost as though someone out there has just confirmed the most horrible things that we have been telling ourselves for years. We're less likely to hang on to an encouraging smile, or brief word of praise, because it's not a reality in our regular internal dialogue.
What those girls did was rude. What they said was not helpful or true. Fat is not a state of being, or a permanent attribute. It's easier to lose fat than it is to alter an attitude (especially one that is full of judgement).
You are beautiful, and have made incredible changes in your life. Try to remember all the positive things that you might brush off throughout your day, and try to make the helpful, encouraging encounters the forefront of your musings.
You're not here for anyone's viewing pleasure or personal amusement. Sometimes you need to remind them of that.0 -
I would like this story better if you'd punched her in the throat first. If I were on a jury, you'd be acquitted.the one girl said 'hey.. no offense, but we were wondering how you do it?' I asked do what? and the other girl (while the first one started to laugh) said 'well, you're really, really big... dont you wanna pass out or something?' I was devastated. I just turned around and walked out.. I never did go back.
Congrats on your weight loss. You look great.
I like the throat punch myself. That would have been awesome. Really though you look amazing and have been doing an awsone job. You should go back to that gym and let karma take care of it for you.0 -
People can be so mean!
I am pretty sure these girls were just jealous because they can't run as fast or as long as you can.
Besides, you look great!
keep up the good work! 0 -
Holy cow, 65 pounds made a HUGE difference! Way to go!
Do NOT let what ANYONE else says make a difference in what you are doing for yourself. People who are insecure in themselves will ALWAYS find something in you (or someone else) to belittle so that they can feel better about themselves. It's adult bullying, plain and simple, and just as unacceptable (but tolerated) as it is for kids. No need to be rude back to people either. You can be the bigger (no pun intended, really) person by smiling and walking away.
DON'T GIVE UP!!!!0 -
1. They wanted a reaction from you showing hurt and/or anger; don't give it to them. Ignore, tell yourself their minds are clearly more troubled than yours, so you forgive their hatred. They are not worth your time nor energy, so the question is will you use them as an excuse to give up?
2. Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Exchange inferior with other, suitable word.
3. Your work so far is amazing. Do you believe it is amazing?0 -
Sounds like you let a couple of @ssholes get to you. Unfortunate really, as you said, you were doing great. Why was one comment able to derail all the hard work you had done? I would spend some time in introspection if not counseling to examine why. (And no, I am NOT being snarky, I am completely serious.) This is not on them honey, it's on you.
I definitely understand what you are saying... but it wasnt just that. that was just the start of it. I broke up with my boyfriend of 11 years in that time also, so that was hard on me, had to move back into my parents with my almost 2 year old who is having a rough time adjusting, i found out my father has two types of cancer, plus he had a minor heart attack... its just on and on. that comment just started it all. I got back into being comfortable being miserable. I'm getting back into good thinking though. Just took some time to get back there.
I just saw this after I posted my first reply. You are dealing with a lot of things at once. Make sure when you're hurting that you reach out for help instead of turning back to old / unhealthy habits. If you don't feel like you have people in your 'real' life that you can trust with those things, you have a great network of people here. Get a solid friends list and let them / us support you when you're in need. Part of this weight loss journey is identifying why we got fat in the first place and healing / correcting those issues. That's the only way we can make the success permanent.
Feel free to add me as a friend!0 -
Sadly, they didn't know you before and they don't care. And you have to remember you are doing this for you and you need to continue doing it. Don't let them scare you from the gym. You should have told them to tell all that to the 60 someodd lbs you'd already lost and if they have nothing better to do than to ask stupid questions then they need to get a better life cause theirs suck and reality is theirs does suck and you are trying to make yours better. Don't let haters rule you.0
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Omg! DO NOT give up because I'd b*tches... you look amazing and I would kill to look like you! I hate people sometimes -_-0
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You look amazing and look like a different person. I was so heartbroken to hear what these bullies said to you. You are beautiful and people want to tear you down, don't listen to them. Just remember how far you have come. People are probably intimidated by your energry and confidence. I have seen that when people lose as much weight as you have, they gain so much confidence and have a beautiful energy and brighness to them. Those bullies see that power in you and they are so intimidated and JEALOUS!0
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I think I'm looking at this incident a little differently. Yes, those girls were tactless and insulting...but you know, I can't help but wonder if what they meant to be asking is..."why can YOU run like this when I can't?" Because they noticed that you were able to do your exercise routine longer and better than they could, and maybe wanted some help on how to develop the level of fitness that you had. Yes, I agree, they were very tactless. Kids can be like that. But is it possible that they weren't being intentionally mean?0
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I think sometimes we get stuck on the bad stuff that happens, because its almost as though someone out there has just confirmed the most horrible things that we have been telling ourselves for years. We're less likely to hang on to an encouraging smile, or brief word of praise, because it's not a reality in our regular internal dialogue.
What those girls did was rude. What they said was not helpful or true. Fat is not a state of being, or a permanent attribute. It's easier to lose fat than it is to alter an attitude (especially one that is full of judgement).
You are beautiful, and have made incredible changes in your life. Try to remember all the positive things that you might brush off throughout your day, and try to make the helpful, encouraging encounters the forefront of your musings.
You're not here for anyone's viewing pleasure or personal amusement. Sometimes you need to remind them of that.
exactly so.0 -
People are intimidated by you now because you have more confidence. You probably acted differently before, and tried to be more invisible. You look great by the way. F**k those girls. Keep doing it for you. There are always ALWAYS going to be mean girls in the world. Their loss.0
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I agree with all the wonderful things said, You look great! You are doing a wonderful amazing job, and as we learned more from your backstory, are dealing with a lot of other issues!
Only thing I would add, if you go back to that gym, tell a manager why you left. A good manager will want to know if another client is driving off customers by hijacking the atmosphere and attitude that should be determined by the company, not clientele. I am damn sure the gym would be proud to hear your story and what you accomplished with some help from their facility, and would want to support you continuing that success. After all, that is what gyms are for. Dressing slutty, putting people down and caring only what others think of your appearance are for clubbing, not gyms. Gyms are for getting a workout done, not to prove you don't need to workout.
That being said, i can't stand gyms for this reason and run or jog outside and workout in my living room. I need to be audience free to do it for me.0 -
You can't let what other people say determine that you will not do well by yourself.
If I found out that my kids were saying something so hurtful or mean to someone they wouldn't know what hit them. The parents are at fault for these kids rotten behaviour. Unfortunately there are more people out there, like those rotten spoiled stinking brats, looking to put people down than there are people looking to encourage. Fact of life. You have to ignore them. They are nothing to you.0 -
bump to read later0
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That seriously pisses me off that someone would say that to you!! Wth? I mean, you are doing GREAT! Keep it up and don't let the skanky trash make you feel less than you are! Keep on keeping on!!0
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WOW!!!!!!!......you look so good!!!! I am so proud of you and I don't even know you!!! I know how hard you worked and how good you must feel about yourself....PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET ANYBODY MAKE YOU GIVE UP.....I'M YELLING CAUSE I NEED YOU TO HEAR THIS!!!!!!
....those people who are so cruel really aren't worth it.....I know that's easy for us all to say....but it's true!!!....they are not worth your time, your tears, your energy.....
I can't wait to see your next progress pic.....I know it will rock even more than this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
Don't let stupid, catty girls prevent you from going to the gym! You have as much right to be there as they do.
It is so hurtful to hear those things, but have a good look at your photos and realise just how far you have come.
If anyone says anything like that again, just say 'at least I can lose weight - what are you going to do about your looks?'0 -
Some people are terrible.
If you feel like being snarky, you can always respond to the mean girls and tell them, you can always improve your weight, but they'll permanently be stuck on stupid. No amount of working out will fix that.
But most importantly, don't let your appearance (and stupid people) drive your self-worth. You are always awesome whether you are 300 pounds or 130.
^^^ Love this! You are doing a fantastic job and it SHOWS! Eh, the universe has a strange sense of humor sometimes. Use it to challenge yourself to keep going!0 -
Don't listen to those dumb girls! You are awesome keep up the great work! Let the negativity be motivation to keep working hard and reaching your goal! :flowerforyou:0
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I think I'm looking at this incident a little differently. Yes, those girls were tactless and insulting...but you know, I can't help but wonder if what they meant to be asking is..."why can YOU run like this when I can't?" Because they noticed that you were able to do your exercise routine longer and better than they could, and maybe wanted some help on how to develop the level of fitness that you had. Yes, I agree, they were very tactless. Kids can be like that. But is it possible that they weren't being intentionally mean?
If you go up to someone and ask an obviously sensitive question WHILE laughing, you're either really stupid or just mean. Some people are both.
There is no excuse for this rudeness, and if they genuinely wanted to know, going up in a pack and s****** - ing is definitely no way to do it, that will make anyone of any size uncomfortable, such a *****y vibe.
I wrote s-n-i-g-g-e-r-i-n-g above and it is blurred out....0 -
Some people are terrible.
If you feel like being snarky, you can always respond to the mean girls and tell them, you can always improve your weight, but they'll permanently be stuck on stupid. No amount of working out will fix that.
But most importantly, don't let your appearance (and stupid people) drive your self-worth. You are always awesome whether you are 300 pounds or 130.
I couldn't have said this better myself!
You can work on improving you, but you can't fix stupid. Find a gym that embraces their members and creates an environment that focuses on improving you in an nurturing way. Even Olympics athletes continue to work and improve themselves. That's why it's called training and not perfection.
I wish all the best on your journey. The fact that your on herd telling us the story is enough to tell me that your know it's time.0 -
Stephanie, your post made me tear up.
I haven't read through all 10 pages of replies, but let me tell you, those behaviours and comments to you are nothing less than disgraceful. And your fat friend needs a kick up her *kitten* as well. When YOU are at goal, she will have nothing but her fat misery to keep her company. She's a jealous cow.
Hold your head high and keep on keeping on! This is the year of Stephanie!!!! Make yourself a priority in your life and be the best you that you can be. I'm telling you now, YOU are worth more than all those sh*tty people put together.
Re-focus. Get back to walking if you don't want to go back to the gym and save the money for hot new clothes.
Big hugs XO0 -
I am so sorry you have had to go through that Stephanie - you have done a fab job, and you are proving yourself to be a winner by coming back and getting back into it. All the best with your journey - the change you have made so far is astounding. You look fabulous!0
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For every negative comment you are getting, there are probably 10 positive comments that you are getting on the wonderful progress you have made. Please don't let rude people get you down. You are so inspiring and motivating. I don't know where you live, but seems some people there may have not been brought up right. The nerve of those mean girls... I would have a word with them.
I have been in your position... I have been called fat and pregnant and its so shocking when you are in the situation... I just didn't know how to react and then after all I could do was cry and I felt so low...but I picked myself up and just kept pushing forward. Still to this day those comments haunt me, but now with my progress I can just rub it all in those people's faces....
YOU ARE AMAZING and just know that here on myfitnesspal, most of us are on the same page and are trying to bring others up instead of down... Keep doing what you are doing. You are a strong, beautiful woman!!!0 -
tl;dr the 10 pages of responses, but just had to chime in to the original post: Wow, seriously? Stephanie, I think you're looking great. Not sure what's going on with those people. But really, to hell with them. Don't let stupid people make you quit. You've made too much incredible progress to get derailed by dumbasses.0
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I know that those statements are hard to hear. But you should also hear the statements people are saying on MFP. Then the choose is what statements do you plan to take to heart. I hope you take the encouragement to heart.
I myself am proud of you that you were about that you were about to make such a change. I hope that I the dedication that you have to lose what you have. You show that can be done.
So thank you from someone who is starting were you were and hope to get where you are.
Hope you have a better day.0 -
Well sweetheart, you can loose weight, the mean people will still be mean.
I have Yo yo'd for years, going from around 145 to 230 and tehn I get back on the wagon .
Thsi time finally at 49 the extra weight is starting to affect me, very painful and stiff knees, (no joke with 6 dogs to walk and show) and I promised my son that I'd get my weight back down so that my knees would stop hurting.
Just two weeks later he died suddenly at age 22, 8 weeks on we still don't know what killed him. Wherever he is I want him to be proud of me, though he loved me whatever my weight.0 -
Honey there are always going to be mean people. But one, two, three peoples opinion that you dont even know does not matter. People who love you and support you well there opinions matter!! Your opinion of yourself matters and it sounds to me like you where pretty damn tickled at your weight loss. Why in the world would you allow them to defeat you. Keep going sweetie and go back to the gym let NO ONE tear you down. Head high march on girl!!!0
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Wow! You've done amazingly, don't letbthose stupid girls put you off of achieving your goal! I can only hope to get to where you are now, and I too have had some really nasty comments, especially from children in pools! Use it as ammunition to get to your goal and don't think about them any other way xx0
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