A hit to the confidence

jeslz

So I’ve been losing weight since the start of October and I’m currently down 21kg. I know I am still big and still have a lot to lose, but I had a super important meeting with work today and went to buy some nice new work clothes on the weekend and it was so disheartening.

I thought it would be a little easier being 20kg down but it was like it barely made a difference. I couldn’t find nice pants like I wanted and shops didn’t have much in my size. I’m still just too big for regular stores and I don’t want to wear the grandma clothes that plus size ranges do.

I suppose it’s another motivator to lose more weight but it just sucks when you’re feeling good about yourself and something like that knocks you down.

estherpotter1

21 kgs is a lot.Feel good about it.Good on you.

PAV8888

Patience. You're already losing at over 13lbs a month. Well above the 2lb a week "safe" limit! Don't let a fleeting disappointment at a single point of time derail you by making you push harder in a manner than may prove counterproductive. The single point today is nothing compared to the many days in the future that you're aiming for. Important or not as the meeting may be, your health is more important and adhering to the process that will get you from today to where you want to be in 5 years from today is what will get you (or allow you to keep) your health.

So no hit to the confidence. Just a rain check for a future NSV!

Editing: I see another post of yours about being a bariatric patient. So the speed of weight loss now makes more sense. My only suggestion to bariatric patients? Listen to your team and adhere to their instructions as opposed to "blazing" your own trail (often with regrets) as some do

jeslz

Thanks guys, I appreciate the support. I suppose it kind of reinforced how big I had become as well. I just want to be able to walk into a shop and find some nice clothes. I know I’ll get there eventually.

ReenieHJ

It'll happen for you. Please try not to let your discouragement over-ride your success!! I know it must be challenging to stay patient while you wait for physical results, especially when you wanted/expected something different while shopping for clothes. It's definitely a journey and you will make it through. Just remember, our sizes don't reflect who we are inside, our kindness, our love, etc. While you're working on your outside, just remember who you are on the inside and love that person, while you wait for your outside to catch up.

panda4153

Great Job!!! I know how disheartening it can feel when shopping for clothes. If you are still looking for something in your current size that can make you feel good, try Torrid they are plus size but they carry really cute trendy clothes, I used to shop their a lot when I was still in a plus size. Even though I still had work to do, I found buying a new outfit that fit me really well and I felt good in, kept me motivated to working towards my goal.

CSARdiver

I note that I either lose weight or inches - sure this is happening at the same time, but does not seem to correlate directly.

If stuck in a seeming weight plateau I break out the measuring tape and sure enough - inches lost.

Hang in there - this is a life long marathon.

shira324

I definitely understand this feeling. Hang in there, and try to keep your head up.

When I feel down about how clothes fit, and the type of stores that carry my size, I like to treat myself to new shoes/handbag/jewelry/make-up etc. Something that's not size-dependent!

deannalfisher

i have a friend who likes clothings from DIA - https://www.dia.com/ - you mgiht look there

NovusDies

Make a list of all the reasons you were starting to feel better about yourself and then add something to it. It takes work to maintain a positive outlook and it is work worth doing. Weight loss takes a long time and you will have some great NSVs along the way and you will have your share of 'not quite there' moments too.

The person who can walk into a store and wear something off the rack is your future self. You just have to run into her. Part of what will make that happen is trying to be as happy as you can today to make it easier to adhere to a plan that chips away at what stands in the way.

snr92884

Good job so far!! All your hard work will eventually catch up to your body proportionally, it just takes time. In the mean time if your looking for cute plus size clothes try Katie Grace boutique online. I've gotten many things from them and never been disappointed. Their leggings are the most comfortable thing ever and they have them in every color you can think of and their clothes are very flattering to plus size ladies. Good luck in your journey!!!

imfornd70

dont worry about the weight - throw the scale away - worry about you energy level - worry about how your clothes fit you - I have met many people skinny but unhealthy - its take time it take consistency it take patience - just keep on doing what you are doing and you will get there - dont look for a touchdown - just keep the ball moving forward - you'll get there

liftingbro

Unfortunately the starting point determines how long it takes to get to certain life changing events when it comes to weight loss. You're doing great and if you keep at it you will get the result you are looking for.

tnphelps13

Start a weightlifting program. It doesn't have to be major. Just start a 1/2 hour workout, 3 days a week. If you can't get to a gym, buy some resistance bands. Start light and work your way up. Adding muscle helps you lose body fat..

Unknown

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JBanx256

you've done a fantastic job so far! keep your chin up, keep truckin', & you'll get to where you want to be!

magnusthenerd

imfornd70 wrote: »

dont worry about the weight - throw the scale away - worry about you energy level - worry about how your clothes fit you - I have met many people skinny but unhealthy - its take time it take consistency it take patience - just keep on doing what you are doing and you will get there - dont look for a touchdown - just keep the ball moving forward - you'll get there

If you mean this rather literally, for most people who have been obese at some point, this would be a bad idea. Most people that maintain a significant weight loss track their weight very consistently, if not daily. Mentally, it helps to get used to the fluctuations, so if you mean mentally throw it away and detach from any one day's measurement, sure, that's fair advice.

OP, not sure your start or end goal, or your height to give an idea of how much a pound means on you, but keep in mind, the closer to goal, the more noticeable pounds / kgs lost are. I think my pants size going from ~50' to 40' took 95 pounds, but going from 40' to 30' was around 30 pounds.

lkpducky

imfornd70 wrote: »

dont worry about the weight - throw the scale away - worry about you energy level - worry about how your clothes fit you - I have met many people skinny but unhealthy - its take time it take consistency it take patience - just keep on doing what you are doing and you will get there - dont look for a touchdown - just keep the ball moving forward - you'll get there

While this is a good parameter to watch, this is exactly what's making the OP feel discouraged now. Hence other folks are proposing that she look at other measures of her progress.

kshama2001

Where did you shop? And where are you located? I'm in the US.

Lane Bryant is geared towards a younger demographic https://www.lanebryant.com and last time I was there they had clothing suitable for work.

I've had good luck with work clothes at Kohl's Women's.

LunaLove2013

Is there a Maurices by you? I LOVE Maurices. They have a plus size section in the store. Its not specifically just for plus size people.

cupcakesandproteinshakes

OP it’s *kitten* you can’t find some nice clothes. Keep going. You will find some nice clothes that fit you soon.

seltzermint555

OP, I'm not sure where you are size wise, but for me a really awkward time was the cusp of plus/misses. When I was in XL and 1X, pant size 14-16, I had really good luck at Macy's especially the clearance racks because I think a lot of ladies shopping plus sizes wear more on the larger side and there seemed to be tons of stuff in 1X and 14 for super discount.

jeslz

Thanks for the replies everyone. I am in Australia and the plus size market here is only just starting to pick up. I went to the one ‘young and fat’ suitable store in the complex and got some pants but just couldn’t get the *right* outfit.

It didn’t help that I didn’t have time to shop online or get anywhere else to look (I live regionally and there’s absolutely no plus size shops in my town at all).

I’ve actually undergone weight loss surgery so I’m only just getting back into an exercise regime (it was delayed due to excessive bushfire smoke in my region which made it hazardous to exercise at times). I know I’m on my way, but those little setbacks can be so damaging sometimes. I think I’m a pretty tough person but this one almost broke me.

On the plus side (lol) I got through my super professional work development day with success even though I wasn’t 100% comfortable in what I looked like and that’s a good thing!

kshama2001

jeslz wrote: »

Thanks for the replies everyone. I am in Australia and the plus size market here is only just starting to pick up. I went to the one ‘young and fat’ suitable store in the complex and got some pants but just couldn’t get the *right* outfit.

It didn’t help that I didn’t have time to shop online or get anywhere else to look (I live regionally and there’s absolutely no plus size shops in my town at all).

I’ve actually undergone weight loss surgery so I’m only just getting back into an exercise regime (it was delayed due to excessive bushfire smoke in my region which made it hazardous to exercise at times). I know I’m on my way, but those little setbacks can be so damaging sometimes. I think I’m a pretty tough person but this one almost broke me.

On the plus side (lol) I got through my super professional work development day with success even though I wasn’t 100% comfortable in what I looked like and that’s a good thing!

National Public Radio (NPR) here in the US has been covering the Australian fires a lot and I heard a piece Jan 9 about the mental health toll that the fires are taking on you all, as well as the physical toll

https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510051/here-x26-now

jeslz

kshama2001 wrote: »

National Public Radio (NPR) here in the US has been covering the Australian fires a lot and I heard a piece Jan 9 about the mental health toll that the fires are taking on you all, as well as the physical toll

https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510051/here-x26-now

It’s been exhausting. My area was hit just prior to Christmas, we lost about 30 houses in the region. On 21/12/2019 it came right into town and the embers created spot fires all across town and one came right up to my back fence. My mental health has definitely suffered in a number of ways.

Thank you for your concern though, we all appreciate the love, support and donations that are coming in from all over the world.

MercuryForce

panda4153 wrote: »

Great Job!!! I know how disheartening it can feel when shopping for clothes. If you are still looking for something in your current size that can make you feel good, try Torrid they are plus size but they carry really cute trendy clothes, I used to shop their a lot when I was still in a plus size. Even though I still had work to do, I found buying a new outfit that fit me really well and I felt good in, kept me motivated to working towards my goal.

There is definitely a part of me that hopes when I hit my goal I don't size myself out of Torrid; their stuff is so cute. My goal weight should put at about an 8/10 and I'm busty, so I'll still probably fit. But, we'll see.

Viktorija34

jeslz wrote: »

So I’ve been losing weight since the start of October and I’m currently down 21kg. I know I am still big and still have a lot to lose, but I had a super important meeting with work today and went to buy some nice new work clothes on the weekend and it was so disheartening.

I thought it would be a little easier being 20kg down but it was like it barely made a difference. I couldn’t find nice pants like I wanted and shops didn’t have much in my size. I’m still just too big for regular stores and I don’t want to wear the grandma clothes that plus size ranges do.

I suppose it’s another motivator to lose more weight but it just sucks when you’re feeling good about yourself and something like that knocks you down.

You should be proud of yourself, 21kg is a big loss! You've done a great job. Don't worry about the shops, you will get there!

Mr_Healthy_Habits

Keep on keeping on, and one of these days...

You'll turn all your "I can'ts" into "I couldn'ts"

That was a huge motivator for me, turning I can'ts into I couldn'ts...

And consider you probably look great in much of what you tried on, but you may be just being overly critical of yourself...

I have clothes that I don't feel comfortable wearing because of loose skin that kinda shows through... I've been told that it's all in my head, and it likely is but regardless... I can relate 💕

Dnarules

kshama2001 wrote: »

Where did you shop? And where are you located? I'm in the US.

Lane Bryant is geared towards a younger demographic https://www.lanebryant.com and last time I was there they had clothing suitable for work.

I've had good luck with work clothes at Kohl's Women's.

This is a good point. I'm in NC, and we have a store called Cato. It has many of the same things on their plus side as in the regular size.

Eta:. I just realized you are in Australia. I should have finished reading before posting . My thoughts are with those of you dealing with the fires.

jeslz

Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »

Keep on keeping on, and one of these days...

You'll turn all your "I can'ts" into "I couldn'ts"

That was a huge motivator for me, turning I can'ts into I couldn'ts...

And consider you probably look great in much of what you tried on, but you may be just being overly critical of yourself...

I have clothes that I don't feel comfortable wearing because of loose skin that kinda shows through... I've been told that it's all in my head, and it likely is but regardless... I can relate 💕

Thank you. That’s a good way to look at it, that I just can’t do it yet.

Unfortunately with a lot of the clothes I just didn’t fit them yet. Which is so frustrating. I’d see something that would have been perfect, but the size range would be one size too small.

I’ve actually had a few little wins since posting this, including fitting into a pair of Australian size 16 (US 12) jeans which haven’t fit for about three years!

kali31337

LunaLove2013 wrote: »

Is there a Maurices by you? I LOVE Maurices. They have a plus size section in the store. Its not specifically just for plus size people.

This is exactly what I came to say. Their sizes are pretty standard and now that I know what fits, I can buy online since I didn't leave near a store. Their clothes are great and you can wear them for basically whatever size you are.

Edit: Ugh sorry that you are in Australia and this suggestion doesn't work anymore. But yay for fitting into new jeans!!