Husband addicted to food

kshama2001

quiksylver296 wrote: »

Can you come at it from a financial standpoint? All that eating out must be expensive. Maybe he'd get more on board if the monetary savings would be saved for something pretty great, like a trip or something.

My OH doesn't like to cook (more specifically, to clean up afterwards) and if he had his way he'd have breakfast and lunch out every day.

I approach it from a financial angle and make sure to have breakfast and lunch foods he likes on hand.

He eats out less than he'd like, but more than I'd like.

If his health or our financial situation were to become dire, then I'd nag more if needed (but it probably would not be needed.)

Luke_rabbit

Could this be a possibility?

Does he eat a very limited number of foods with pretty specific requirements? I ask this cause you mentioned that he doesn't eat fruits and vegetables. Do you know how he was with food growing up? Extremely picky?

A lot of people are unaware that food phobia exists. It makes people actually anxious about new foods, especially smells and textures, even to the point of panic attacks. Fast food tends to be extremely consistent which makes it appealing to those with food phobia.

I knew one man who told me that he would love to travel but was too afraid about finding food he would eat. It was pretty sad.

Just thought I'd throw the idea out there.

csplatt

Does he struggle with textures and raw foods? I have a son who had a sensory issue as a toddler and had to be taught at a hospital how to eat. Certain things literally make him vomit, especially fruit. He can do Apple and peanut butter but all other fruit has to go in a smoothie. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree with all of the above - leave him alone and focus on your own health. I like the ideas about budgeting. But also... if he LOVES eating out... why not go out with him every now and then?

ReenieHJ

My dh has a high fat diet, smokes and drinks diet coke by the gallon, takes meds. for high cholesterol, is overweight and doesn't lead a very active life, doesn't like 99.99% of veggies and fruits. He doesn't eat fast food often but may as well. He eats tons of cheese, processed foods, etc. He's told me he's set in his ways and that's that.

Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do to change your dh's mind until he wants his mind changed. Do you think he'd respond differently if you asked him to help you in eating healthier, to support you and in doing that, he'd have to eat similarly and/or take walks with you, etc., as someone suggested?

It's hard watching people you love do that to themselves. We only want them to live longer healthier lives but some truly have no interest in changing their ways.

snickerscharlie

ReenieHJ wrote: »

My dh has a high fat diet, smokes and drinks diet coke by the gallon, takes meds. for high cholesterol, is overweight and doesn't lead a very active life, doesn't like 99.99% of veggies and fruits. He doesn't eat fast food often but may as well. He eats tons of cheese, processed foods, etc. He's told me he's set in his ways and that's that.

Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do to change your dh's mind until he wants his mind changed. Do you think he'd respond differently if you asked him to help you in eating healthier, to support you and in doing that, he'd have to eat similarly and/or take walks with you, etc., as someone suggested?

It's hard watching people you love do that to themselves. We only want them to live longer healthier lives but some truly have no interest in changing their ways.

Don't know that there's a husband alive who wouldn't see right through that little ploy in a heartbeat.

OP: You do you. Your husband will come on board if and when he's ready to.

AlexandraFindsHerself1971

I wound up leaving mine. He was in the hospital in a coma for three months and lost 150 pounds. When he came out, I would have cooked him any diet he wanted to get the other 50 pounds off so that he could, for the first time ever, be normal weight. In six months he put it back on, in a year he'd added fifty more. And he didn't want to eat alone.

The food addiction wasn't the only reason I left, but it was definitely a largely contributing factor. Yes, he has congestive heart failure and COPD and diabetes. And he wants to pretend it will all go away if he ignores it. I love him. We spent nearly 30 years together. We have two wonderful sons. But there is a point where you either go ahead and die too or you get out. I'm out.

justanotherguy2020

Man, we have a real problem with understanding the definition of “love” in this country

PrismaticPhoenix

Has your husband agreed to any of this? Does he want to do any of this? What are his goals and priorities in this? Have you talked with him about this? And I don't mean lectures him or talked at him (which can be hard to do when you have your own goals, I know), but talked with him to determine what is going on in his mind?

Ultimately, you can have all kinds of wonderful goals and intentions, but your husband is the one in charge of his eating. You can't make this decision for him. If he he is willing to make any changes at all, you can only support and enable those changes, not cause them. Hopefully you two are able to have an honest discussion where he tells you what he is willing to do and you can support that. If he won't tell you honestly or you won't respect what he says, you're both going to be stuck. If you two can do that, then maybe in the future, if more changes are appropriate, maybe he'll be willing to ease into those changes, and you'll be willing and able to support them.