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AJuff
AJuff Posts: 12 Member
in Motivation and Support
My husband says I’m the fattest person he knows and fat is off putting. I am 12 stone and 5 ft 3 inches. I am gutted 💔
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Replies

  • nasr25
    nasr25 Posts: 214 Member
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    If it’s not from is personality to say such things maybe he is trying to motivate you. While I don’t agree with the approach It might be his. If it’s Something common for him to say such hurtful things than he is an *kitten*. I myself need a lot of weight to lose and when my wife was pregnant she gained weight. Once She had the baby and some time had passed I explained to her how difficult it was being overweight and that I did not want that for her. She lost the weight and now is helping me do the same. Idk if I hurt her feelings when I said that to her but my intentions were good and it’s not in my nature to say hurtful things. I just want to give your husband the benefit of doubt. You know him best and I would like to say that if he is just being an *kitten* that you should ignore him and do this for you.
  • harper16
    harper16 Posts: 2,564 Member
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    nasr25 wrote: »
    If it’s not from is personality to say such things maybe he is trying to motivate you. While I don’t agree with the approach It might be his. If it’s Something common for him to say such hurtful things than he is an *kitten*. I myself need a lot of weight to lose and when my wife was pregnant she gained weight. Once She had the baby and some time had passed I explained to her how difficult it was being overweight and that I did not want that for her. She lost the weight and now is helping me do the same. Idk if I hurt her feelings when I said that to her but my intentions were good and it’s not in my nature to say hurtful things. I just want to give your husband the benefit of doubt. You know him best and I would like to say that if he is just being an *kitten* that you should ignore him and do this for you.

    What a horrible way to try and motivate someone, by choosing to be hurtful, and ugly.
  • Katmary71
    Katmary71 Posts: 6,553 Member
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    Wow, what a horrible thing to say! You're more than your body, please don't start thinking the same way. If you want to make improvements to your health do it for you and not because of something hurtful your husband says. Yeah, it may have been to encourage you to lose weight but there are way better ways to go about it.
  • leanneellison1979
    leanneellison1979 Posts: 23 Member
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    you husband does not deserve you. That is a horrible thing to say to the person he loves. Dont let him crush your spirit, you are making a change to better your own health and that is a fantastic thing. You can do whatever you set your mind to. Its about what makes you happy and how you feel about yourself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you are beautiful. hugs.
  • MrsDan1667
    MrsDan1667 Posts: 76 Member
    edited March 2020
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    Correct me if I’m wrong but according to BMI that’s not even obese, just “over-weight”. How rude and insensitive. Surely he fell in love and married you for your personality too? Idc how “skinny” someone is, a poor attitude would be a major turn off for a lot of people. People don’t just fall in love and marry people that are rude/mean/hateful just because they’re skinny; right?
  • holly1283
    holly1283 Posts: 741 Member
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    Nsar you handled it wisely with your wife. No benefit of the doubt for how hurtful he was. That was just downright cruel. Just ask your wife how she would have felt it you said that to her. I guarantee it would not motivated her.
  • onward1
    onward1 Posts: 386 Member
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    AliNouveau wrote: »
    Sounds like he's a complete douche. Perhaps tell him he's the ugliest person you know for saying something so disgusting and insensitive
    RelCanonical wrote: »
    He is trying to hurt your self esteem to have more control over you. This doesn’t sound like it’s actually about your weight but more about finding ways to shame you to make you think you don’t deserve anyone but him. *kitten* him.

    ^This. You deserve so much better. I'm gutted for you, so sorry you're married to a *kitten*.
  • nasr25
    nasr25 Posts: 214 Member
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    holly1283 wrote: »
    Nsar you handled it wisely with your wife. No benefit of the doubt for how hurtful he was. That was just downright cruel. Just ask your wife how she would have felt it you said that to her. I guarantee it would not motivated her.

    I mean I would never say that to my wife. so it’s even hard for me to imagine such a thing. I don’t see how anyone could say a thing like that and I am definitely not defending him. I just feel bad for her and I am trying to give him in a way an excuse. That fact she was so hurt I thought maybe this isn’t something he has ever said before and isn’t in his character. Either way it is wrong and I hope (to the op) that you do this for you and get better for you. I wish you all the best and all the support is here with these good people if you need it.

  • Sand_TIger
    Sand_TIger Posts: 1,072 Member
    edited March 2020
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    He said that and you're only 12 stone? He really, really, REALLY needs to get out more. That's not too far above my goal weight! The next thing is to figure out if he was trying to "motivate you" or if he was actually trying to hurt you. Then act accordingly.
  • RoseyandReady
    RoseyandReady Posts: 256 Member
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    Brutal...brutal....brutal. If he thinks this is a way to motivate you he is dead wrong and he doesn't deserve you. If you want to lose weight, do it for you and your health. But after hearing what he said, you may want to look after your mental health because he is eating away at your self esteem and will make you doubt yourself and your worth. You deserve someone who appreciates you and someone who says kind words.
  • merph518
    merph518 Posts: 702 Member
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    Your husband's a prick and his behavior is off putting. You weigh less than my long term goal.

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