Motivation, the truth.
letmebangbro
Posts: 213 Member
I've been here for a week and I've noticed something off. Many of you seek constant motivation you need from everyone around you.
Why is that?
Why is that you need for someone else to motivate you to change your life? Initial push is fine by all means.
But do you really need someone to walk with you, holding your hand and guiding you every step of the way?
The motivation that is dependent on others will not last. They won't be there all the time to
Find the motivation in yourself, your own desire to change, stick with it.
Your hunger, your will, your desire are the things that will stay up with you those hard days where you want to give up.
Look inside you, we all have that ability to transform ourselves. It all depends on how bad you want it.
Do you want this bad enough to give up certain foods? To push yourself constant in the gym? To stay on course?
Ask yourself now, if you have doubt; yea continue doing what you're doing. But unless you're fully committed to this journey, you will fail. This journey is not easy, it's going to hard I won't lie to you. I won't tell you that you will get your results in 30 days. Years to get where you want and after, the process continues. There will be days that kick you to the curb and no matter what anyone says you will want to quit.
But how bad do you want it?
Don't look at others to hold your hand every step of the way, let them guide you the initial steps, but after take your own future into your hands. Find it yourself to succeed, not others.
./end rant
Why is that?
Why is that you need for someone else to motivate you to change your life? Initial push is fine by all means.
But do you really need someone to walk with you, holding your hand and guiding you every step of the way?
The motivation that is dependent on others will not last. They won't be there all the time to
Find the motivation in yourself, your own desire to change, stick with it.
Your hunger, your will, your desire are the things that will stay up with you those hard days where you want to give up.
Look inside you, we all have that ability to transform ourselves. It all depends on how bad you want it.
Do you want this bad enough to give up certain foods? To push yourself constant in the gym? To stay on course?
Ask yourself now, if you have doubt; yea continue doing what you're doing. But unless you're fully committed to this journey, you will fail. This journey is not easy, it's going to hard I won't lie to you. I won't tell you that you will get your results in 30 days. Years to get where you want and after, the process continues. There will be days that kick you to the curb and no matter what anyone says you will want to quit.
But how bad do you want it?
Don't look at others to hold your hand every step of the way, let them guide you the initial steps, but after take your own future into your hands. Find it yourself to succeed, not others.
./end rant
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Replies
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Honestly I didn't read your entire post. I wanted it bad and I got it...or I'm getting it. "how bad do you want it" is one of my favorite quotes/sayings.0
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It's your road, and yours alone.
Others may walk it with you
But no one can walk it for you
- Variously Ascribed0 -
Well, I did read your entire post.
And yes, it's true. I just don't think some people realize that they don't want it badly enough yet. Sometimes you think you hit bottom, but really, there's three more layers to go. And going through each one is sometimes the process.0 -
Thanks for reading my wall of text
At least you had the motivation to read it all. LOL0 -
Thanks for reading my wall of text
At least you had the motivation to read it all. LOL
^ Bwhahaha! Oh the irony.0 -
I agree.
I think that sometimes people THINK they're ready for the change...but really they aren't.
Me, I don't really know what I want.
I don't know how motivated I am.
BUT I also only have two friends now (hubby and bestie) because honestly, I didn't need anyone to hold my hand.0 -
You're here a week and you're already ranting? Then I'm sure you can muster the motivation to stay off the motivation and support board. I'd hate to see a newbie get so spun up from those who find it useful and encouraging.0
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I'm not sure I agree 100%. For a lot of people trying to rely on motivation alone is setting themselves up for failure. You do have to have a reason and really want it but there are better strategies than relying on motivation alone. If people were motivated enough to do it in the first place, it would already be done.
My preferred approach is to rely on my inital motivation and put in place strategies for when my motivation fails. There are plenty of nights where I would have skipped workouts except I have a workout buddy or team mates that I would be letting down if I did. I always encorage people to put strategies in place that make it more difficult for them to skip a work out or to eat badly.
Very few people are motivated 100% of the time but if you have solid strategies in place you can minimise the damage when that motivation fails.0 -
TL;DR that being said, you motivate me0
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You're here a week and you're already ranting? Then I'm sure you can muster the motivation to stay off the motivation and support board. I'd hate to see a newbie get so spun up from those who find it useful and encouraging.
Completely missed the point.
Simply encouraging people to look at themselves, find it in themselves to keep pushing on those days that do become hard.
People aren't always going to be around, but if you're determined to change. You will succeed by your own powers, not anyone else's.
Maybe you can try comprehending the meaning before expressing your opinion.0 -
I'm not sure I agree 100%. For a lot of people trying to rely on motivation alone is setting themselves up for failure. You do have to have a reason and really want it but there are better strategies than relying on motivation alone. If people were motivated enough to do it in the first place, it would already be done.
My preferred approach is to rely on my inital motivation and put in place strategies for when my motivation fails. There are plenty of nights where I would have skipped workouts except I have a workout buddy or team mates that I would be letting down if I did. I always encorage people to put strategies in place that make it more difficult for them to skip a work out or to eat badly.
Very few people are motivated 100% of the time but if you have solid strategies in place you can minimise the damage when that motivation fails.
This post was mainly for the people that do just look in others for motivation. For an initial start, by all means. But after a while you do have to find it in yourself to keep pushing. The reliance on other's is simply a changing variable. People will go, and disappear. But if you can create that will that is unchanging in yourself to push forward.
With so many variables that are in the way. The least anyone can do is make them selves a fixed one.
Edit: I love you wisi....0 -
I'm not sure I agree 100%. For a lot of people trying to rely on motivation alone is setting themselves up for failure. You do have to have a reason and really want it but there are better strategies than relying on motivation alone. If people were motivated enough to do it in the first place, it would already be done.
My preferred approach is to rely on my inital motivation and put in place strategies for when my motivation fails. There are plenty of nights where I would have skipped workouts except I have a workout buddy or team mates that I would be letting down if I did. I always encorage people to put strategies in place that make it more difficult for them to skip a work out or to eat badly.
Very few people are motivated 100% of the time but if you have solid strategies in place you can minimise the damage when that motivation fails.
Very smart post here! I also try to get a workout buddy or appointment across town to meet someone if possible, as it will keep me from skipping. The difference now is that when someone cancels on me, instead of just doing nothing I still go and work out! That wouldn't have happened even a month or two ago, and I think it's an internal change.
That being said, I suppose this aligns with OP's original statement of needing to look inside for motivation and determination. Just goes to show there are two sides of any coin
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You're here a week and you're already ranting? Then I'm sure you can muster the motivation to stay off the motivation and support board. I'd hate to see a newbie get so spun up from those who find it useful and encouraging.
the motivational board is the lamest of all MFP boards..IMO0 -
I agree...the point when you are ready to lose weight and determined you wouldn't need constant motivation from others.
Seek it in yourself 0 -
Interesting, after a week and a half it's all you. No friends, no support. It's all you. For me, after a YEAR and a half, it's all me and my friends that support me. Hmmmm....
Even when I have sulked in my corner, my friends have been there to support me. 55lbs. Later, I think it works.0 -
You're here a week and you're already ranting? Then I'm sure you can muster the motivation to stay off the motivation and support board. I'd hate to see a newbie get so spun up from those who find it useful and encouraging.
Completely missed the point.
Simply encouraging people to look at themselves, find it in themselves to keep pushing on those days that do become hard.
People aren't always going to be around, but if you're determined to change. You will succeed by your own powers, not anyone else's.
Maybe you can try comprehending the meaning before expressing your opinion.
I completely understood your point. And while you have a nugget of truth in your rant, it's not for you to judge how or when people need to be motivated. Sometimes people are in need of support, which is why there is a community segment to MFP. And sometimes people are able to find their own motivation by reaching out to others.
While I agree that, ultimately, people must always find their own motivation for ongoing success, reaching out is not a sign of weakness, and it doesn't mean they won't find their own way. For you to knock how others are able to find their source of strength smacks of being judgemental.
Congrats on being self sufficient in your motivation. Sincerely. However, should you ever need support, I'll bet you find it here. Don't be afraid to ask for it.0 -
People approach things differently. Some forge ahead boldly...relying on no one. Some need occasional encouragement to stay on track. Some socialize all the time and make whatever they're doing into an opportunity to interact with others. Everyone has different needs and motivations. That has nothing to do with their commitment to what they're doing, and each can be successful . I think motivation is a pretty individual thing...and your style may not fitsomeone else.0
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Well said JDHINAZ...
Motivation from any source, whether internal or external, can only be a good thing
Only been on here a few weeks (2nd attempt!!) and not feeling like i'm in dire need of motivation form MFP... have a loving wife, family & friends that are all supporting me... extremely lucky!!!)
It's great to know however, that should i need some support then there are many like-minded people on MFP to provide whatever support i might need :-)
EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT!0 -
Hmmm... The OP comments were not at all what I was expecting to read from the title. Yes, it is true that motivation needs to come from within, but there are all different ways of putting that into words. This board is called Motivation and Support for a reason and it's where people come (I'm sure amongst other reasons) when they might be feeling a little bit down or lost in the moment and need Inspiration to keep going.
It's the little things that get us back on the path.
So - for anyone needing a boost, here is my thought for you today...
'Don't Quit' by Jill Wolf
Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubt's and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For its just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.0 -
Interesting, after a week and a half it's all you. No friends, no support. It's all you. For me, after a YEAR and a half, it's all me and my friends that support me. Hmmmm....
Even when I have sulked in my corner, my friends have been there to support me. 55lbs. Later, I think it works.
Because I just started lifting a week ago..because I just found this board...notsureifsrs
Again, like I said. Support is great and all; but you do have to look in yourself to make these changes yourself. Your friends can't always be there to tell you what to do.
Half of you aren't children anymore. You don't need friends to hold your hand and support you. Maybe if you're 15. But it's time to face the cold harsh truth of reality. Most a friend can do, is give you advice, and give you "words of encouragement"
There will be nights you are alone, and no friends are there for you.
Do you back down, or proceed because of your own ambition. I can say most of you now, will back down because you rely on the support of others and are not fully committed in yourself to do it.
My mere point was that while everyone needs to be motivated by something externally at first to start a change, eventually you do have to branch out from that. You can't always be babied in life by others and you don't need to depend on them; and to maybe believe in yourself.
There is only one person in this journey. You. Come to your own convictions. You don't need to support of others because everyone has it in them to do it themselves. And when it is engrained in yourself 100%. That's when you will reap the rewards the most. Because you are wholly dedicated. You will go and seek the proper information to change and life your life in a way that will be most beneficial to your goals.
Edit:
Cliffs:
I don't mean to offend anyone.
Merely saying everyone is capable of finding motivation within themselves
when they are wholly dedicated in their own minds, the results will come, more than any text that they read will do for them
>I am trying to motivate people who do understand the message, to find motivation in the simplest way possible0 -
Very true SkimFlatWhite... and even when we are feeling motivated, it's still very inspiring to read positive comments form others0
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Also, I feel like many people do rely on the support of others because they are purely afraid of failure.
I don't see it as "failure"
I see them as an experience, to really test your character and embrace them.
To fall to your lowest points, and see how you act in those situations, how you overcome them. It's a true test of character.
That's what defines us and ultimately creates that drive that keeps us pushing forward through that grind.
Edit: Again, merely trying to express a different side of things. You can agree or disagree. But this is all intended to be motivating.
Nothing imo is more motivating in life then to know you are capable of grabbing a hold of your own success and overcome obstacles.0 -
I don't think you've offended anyone here... letmebangbro... and i think most people would agree that ultimately self motivation will be the key to success, but i also think that we need to be very mindful of how we express our opinions, particularly on the "Motivational Forum" and ensure that our comments are as positive & reassuring as possible
I'm also sure you mean well so as i said... no offence :-)0 -
Also, I feel like many people do rely on the support of others because they are purely afraid of failure.
I don't see it as "failure"
I see them as an experience, to really test your character and embrace them.
To fall to your lowest points, and see how you act in those situations, how you overcome them. It's a true test of character.
That's what defines us and ultimately creates that drive that keeps us pushing forward through that grind.
Edit: Again, merely trying to express a different side of things. You can agree or disagree. But this is all intended to be motivating.
Nothing imo is more motivating in life then to know you are capable of grabbing a hold of your own success and overcome obstacles.
Not that I need outside motivation, but this is totally motivating to me. The kick in the shorts approach is the best, IMO. Nobody who needs to be coddled will succeed in weight loss or fitness or life.
Who do I need, except myself? That's the most motivating thing in the world.
My two favorite "motivational quotes" are "If it kills you, it kills you; a man must always exceed his level" and "Do the thing that must be done."
Seriously, take a hint from Nike. Just do it.0 -
I don't think you've offended anyone here... letmebangbro... and i think most people would agree that ultimately self motivation will be the key to success, but i also think that we need to be very mindful of how we express our opinions, particularly on the "Motivational Forum" and ensure that our comments are as positive & reassuring as possible
I'm also sure you mean well so as i said... no offence :-)
As much as I want to be mindful, I do have to be blunt in a lot of areas. Surrounding yes men around you will ultimately hinder your growth. If I am more blunt, express my points more boldly; maybe for some people it will click.
Really just want to create a self-drive in anyone that does read my points.0 -
It's definitely a personal journey ..0
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Well you've motivated me to comment, which is a rare thing for me on a forum... so well done for that!
and "Yes MrsMX" it is a very personal journey & one where you get to know a lot more about yourself in the process
We're all only commenting cos' we care enough to do so0 -
Well you've motivated me to comment, which is a rare thing for me on a forum... so well done for that!
and "Yes MrsMX" it is a very personal journey & one where you get to know a lot more about yourself in the process
We're all only commenting cos' we care enough to do so
So pleased to motivate you Steedies!
my mission is complete
In all fareness ..
I have added people to my friend list to help motivate each other but I'd have to say its an extremely small percentage that keep it a 2 way street and work with each other ... Not to mention those that cant open a diary to friends or its open and the foods all carbs or breads and they wont help weight loss in any way, shape or form ... See its personal ...
we all decide which road to take and how far to go)x 0 -
Well you've motivated me to comment, which is a rare thing for me on a forum... so well done for that!
and "Yes MrsMX" it is a very personal journey & one where you get to know a lot more about yourself in the process
We're all only commenting cos' we care enough to do so
Haha now you're just making me blush
but on a serious note, I really wish you success in this journey.
Just know that sacrifices will be needed to be made, the work is not easy, you will to constantly push yourself.
But the feeling of success after each time is worth it.
Don't need to impress others, as long as you're happy with yourself.0 -
Well you've motivated me to comment, which is a rare thing for me on a forum... so well done for that!
and "Yes MrsMX" it is a very personal journey & one where you get to know a lot more about yourself in the process
We're all only commenting cos' we care enough to do so
So pleased to motivate you Steedies!
my mission is complete
In all fareness ..
I have added people to my friend list to help motivate each other but I'd have to say its an extremely small percentage that keep it a 2 way street and work with each other ... Not to mention those that cant open a diary to friends or its open and the foods all carbs or breads and they wont help weight loss in any way, shape or form ... See its personal ...
we all decide which road to take and how far to go)x
haha I barely log, only when i eat something new i'll log it. But for the most part I just eat the same thing everyday. saves time logging.0
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