Being stuck. Demotivated.
Replies
-
UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »I wonder if maybe 109/110 is your current goal weight? Maybe that's where your mind wants your body to be right now. You could also consider holding there for a while till you're ready to stop cheating and get to a new lower weight. A maintenance break. You don't need to race to the finish line if you "feel so skinny" at 109. You're basically saying you feel great at 109. Some people have success getting to a happy weight, holding for a while, and continuing later when they decide its time.
109kg is my lowest weight after 5 years so I think it makes me feel skinny. I can see my collar bones and stuff. That excitement makes me feel like I accomplished but my actual target is 90kg. For now getting to 105kg will be huge accomplishment.
And that's totally fine to have a long term goal of 90! You can set your sights on it after a few months no?2 -
OK Ms @UmaMageswarymfp! I am going to be a mean *kitten*!
Do you WANT to stop spinning your wheels? NOT everyone actually wants to, and it is OK, if you don't. Nothing wrong with a pause
But if you DO want to stop spinning your wheels, it is time to put your big girl pants on and make rational decisions based on data!
More than 35% of your past 30 days are un-logged. WHY?
I don't care how far over, or under, you are on any which day. Being over doesn't mean that you get to put your day out of SIGHT and out of mind! LOG EVERY DAY.
While you have EVERY RIGHT to be over. You also have the obligation, to yourself, for now, to actually KNOW how much over you were. And then review and USE THE DATA to make decisions based on facts, not "feelz".
And what's with "Cheat DAY" in the first place? At this stage of the game a single higher Calories MEAL should be more than enough for you to enjoy your weekend and adhere to your plans. But NOT an off plan DAY.
Normal means normal. Normal is eating within your reasonable GOALS NOT outside. And yes, for that to happen your goals have to be SANE.
If you have an indulgent meal, your next eating window it when you go back to normal. The "I've blown today so I'll continue eating all the goodies for now" no longer exists as an option!
And don't give me the: "but I can't fit everything I want into a single meal"!
Again. Normal is normal. And if you want to eat something, I don't care how healthy or unhealthy, make it fit into your normal REASONABLE allotment of calories. Instead of having "pipe-dream" targets that you miss 35% of the time (see the info-graphics below), it is time to have REAL TARGETS that you will hit 90+% of the time.
You tell me you want to push to go faster because your MFP goals are not fast enough. I am telling you that the fastest path to nowhere is to continue to engage in a classic restrict-binge spiral.
7 -
OK Ms @UmaMageswarymfp! I am going to be a mean *kitten*!
Do you WANT to stop spinning your wheels? NOT everyone actually wants to, and it is OK, if you don't. Nothing wrong with a pause
But if you DO want to stop spinning your wheels, it is time to put your big girl pants on and make rational decisions based on data!
More than 35% of your past 30 days are un-logged. WHY?
I don't care how far over, or under, you are on any which day. Being over doesn't mean that you get to put your day out of SIGHT and out of mind! LOG EVERY DAY.
While you have EVERY RIGHT to be over. You also have the obligation, to yourself, for now, to actually KNOW how much over you were. And then review and USE THE DATA to make decisions based on facts, not "feelz".
And what's with "Cheat DAY" in the first place? At this stage of the game a single higher Calories MEAL should be more than enough for you to enjoy your weekend and adhere to your plans. But NOT an off plan DAY.
Normal means normal. Normal is eating within your reasonable GOALS NOT outside. And yes, for that to happen your goals have to be SANE.
If you have an indulgent meal, your next eating window it when you go back to normal. The "I've blown today so I'll continue eating all the goodies for now" no longer exists as an option!
And don't give me the: "but I can't fit everything I want into a single meal"!
Again. Normal is normal. And if you want to eat something, I don't care how healthy or unhealthy, make it fit into your normal REASONABLE allotment of calories. Instead of having "pipe-dream" targets that you miss 35% of the time (see the info-graphics below), it is time to have REAL TARGETS that you will hit 90+% of the time.
You tell me you want to push to go faster because your MFP goals are not fast enough. I am telling you that the fastest path to nowhere is to continue to engage in a classic restrict-binge spiral.
Yeah sometimes I don’t log in cause I’m lazy / it’s over / way too under but lemme log in properly from now on. Feel free to keep me in check2 -
UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »OK Ms @UmaMageswarymfp! I am going to be a mean *kitten*!
Do you WANT to stop spinning your wheels? NOT everyone actually wants to, and it is OK, if you don't. Nothing wrong with a pause
But if you DO want to stop spinning your wheels, it is time to put your big girl pants on and make rational decisions based on data!
More than 35% of your past 30 days are un-logged. WHY?
I don't care how far over, or under, you are on any which day. Being over doesn't mean that you get to put your day out of SIGHT and out of mind! LOG EVERY DAY.
While you have EVERY RIGHT to be over. You also have the obligation, to yourself, for now, to actually KNOW how much over you were. And then review and USE THE DATA to make decisions based on facts, not "feelz".
And what's with "Cheat DAY" in the first place? At this stage of the game a single higher Calories MEAL should be more than enough for you to enjoy your weekend and adhere to your plans. But NOT an off plan DAY.
Normal means normal. Normal is eating within your reasonable GOALS NOT outside. And yes, for that to happen your goals have to be SANE.
If you have an indulgent meal, your next eating window it when you go back to normal. The "I've blown today so I'll continue eating all the goodies for now" no longer exists as an option!
And don't give me the: "but I can't fit everything I want into a single meal"!
Again. Normal is normal. And if you want to eat something, I don't care how healthy or unhealthy, make it fit into your normal REASONABLE allotment of calories. Instead of having "pipe-dream" targets that you miss 35% of the time (see the info-graphics below), it is time to have REAL TARGETS that you will hit 90+% of the time.
You tell me you want to push to go faster because your MFP goals are not fast enough. I am telling you that the fastest path to nowhere is to continue to engage in a classic restrict-binge spiral.
Yeah sometimes I don’t log in cause I’m lazy / it’s over / way too under but lemme log in properly from now on. Feel free to keep me in check
PAV is exactly right. You have to start being accountable or you'll never reach your goal. It doesn't matter how long it takes. Then you'll want to maintain--right? That means being careful not to slip into old habits. You are now in training for that. No cheat meals (I told you that on the first page), you just eat a reasonable amount everyday so you aren't suffering and can fit in a treat here and there. If you want to be lazy, that's your right, but no one can pull you out. You need to learn to do that for yourself. If you absolutely can't, get counseling. Some people cannot start dieting without that. Good luck--and get going.4 -
snowflake954 wrote: »You have to start being accountable to your future self or you'll never reach your goals.
It doesn't matter how long it takes. Then you'll want to maintain--right? That means being careful not to slip into old habits.
You are now in training for that.
No cheat meals [...] you just eat a reasonable amount everyday so you aren't suffering and can fit in a treat here and there.
If you want to be lazy, that's your right, but no one can pull you out. You need to learn to do that for yourself.
If you absolutely can't, get counseling.
QFT with a couple of enhancements!!!2 -
snowflake954 wrote: »UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »OK Ms @UmaMageswarymfp! I am going to be a mean *kitten*!
Do you WANT to stop spinning your wheels? NOT everyone actually wants to, and it is OK, if you don't. Nothing wrong with a pause
But if you DO want to stop spinning your wheels, it is time to put your big girl pants on and make rational decisions based on data!
More than 35% of your past 30 days are un-logged. WHY?
I don't care how far over, or under, you are on any which day. Being over doesn't mean that you get to put your day out of SIGHT and out of mind! LOG EVERY DAY.
While you have EVERY RIGHT to be over. You also have the obligation, to yourself, for now, to actually KNOW how much over you were. And then review and USE THE DATA to make decisions based on facts, not "feelz".
And what's with "Cheat DAY" in the first place? At this stage of the game a single higher Calories MEAL should be more than enough for you to enjoy your weekend and adhere to your plans. But NOT an off plan DAY.
Normal means normal. Normal is eating within your reasonable GOALS NOT outside. And yes, for that to happen your goals have to be SANE.
If you have an indulgent meal, your next eating window it when you go back to normal. The "I've blown today so I'll continue eating all the goodies for now" no longer exists as an option!
And don't give me the: "but I can't fit everything I want into a single meal"!
Again. Normal is normal. And if you want to eat something, I don't care how healthy or unhealthy, make it fit into your normal REASONABLE allotment of calories. Instead of having "pipe-dream" targets that you miss 35% of the time (see the info-graphics below), it is time to have REAL TARGETS that you will hit 90+% of the time.
You tell me you want to push to go faster because your MFP goals are not fast enough. I am telling you that the fastest path to nowhere is to continue to engage in a classic restrict-binge spiral.
Yeah sometimes I don’t log in cause I’m lazy / it’s over / way too under but lemme log in properly from now on. Feel free to keep me in check
PAV is exactly right. You have to start being accountable or you'll never reach your goal. It doesn't matter how long it takes. Then you'll want to maintain--right? That means being careful not to slip into old habits. You are now in training for that. No cheat meals (I told you that on the first page), you just eat a reasonable amount everyday so you aren't suffering and can fit in a treat here and there. If you want to be lazy, that's your right, but no one can pull you out. You need to learn to do that for yourself. If you absolutely can't, get counseling. Some people cannot start dieting without that. Good luck--and get going.
Yeah okay I will 😕 Thank you sm 💜1 -
Can you give your goal to be 100kg? So when you get to 109 you know you’ve got a way to go?
1 -
janejellyroll wrote: »If looking at a specific number on the scale is causing you to sabotage your own progress, then that's what you need to address. Weigh less often or work on decoupling that emotional reaction to seeing that number.
Maybe it's me, being a engineer/numbers guy, but weighing every day makes a single measurement less important because it's one of 30 in a month. Weigh once a month and it's the culmination of a months worth of effort and if you don't like the number.... Now I also don't look at graphs of a week of measurements, only a month or more, to see what the trend is. But again, this is just how I see it.3 -
richardgavel wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »If looking at a specific number on the scale is causing you to sabotage your own progress, then that's what you need to address. Weigh less often or work on decoupling that emotional reaction to seeing that number.
Maybe it's me, being a engineer/numbers guy, but weighing every day makes a single measurement less important because it's one of 30 in a month. Weigh once a month and it's the culmination of a months worth of effort and if you don't like the number.... Now I also don't look at graphs of a week of measurements, only a month or more, to see what the trend is. But again, this is just how I see it.
Excuse me, but did you read the entire thread? The OP is obsessed with a certain weight, when she sees it on the scale, she binges because she's so happy she arrived, and then completely derails. This has happened several times. Most people that weigh themselves everyday don't have this reaction.2 -
toadflaxbex wrote: »Can you give your goal to be 100kg? So when you get to 109 you know you’ve got a way to go?
Yeah but it’s too much because I’d expect the scale show the number within a month or 2 if I don’t I get sad0 -
I can’t wait to reach 107/108kg and update here that I finally broke the cycle 😕💜2
-
UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »OK Ms @UmaMageswarymfp! I am going to be a mean *kitten*!
Do you WANT to stop spinning your wheels? NOT everyone actually wants to, and it is OK, if you don't. Nothing wrong with a pause
But if you DO want to stop spinning your wheels, it is time to put your big girl pants on and make rational decisions based on data!
More than 35% of your past 30 days are un-logged. WHY?
I don't care how far over, or under, you are on any which day. Being over doesn't mean that you get to put your day out of SIGHT and out of mind! LOG EVERY DAY.
While you have EVERY RIGHT to be over. You also have the obligation, to yourself, for now, to actually KNOW how much over you were. And then review and USE THE DATA to make decisions based on facts, not "feelz".
And what's with "Cheat DAY" in the first place? At this stage of the game a single higher Calories MEAL should be more than enough for you to enjoy your weekend and adhere to your plans. But NOT an off plan DAY.
Normal means normal. Normal is eating within your reasonable GOALS NOT outside. And yes, for that to happen your goals have to be SANE.
If you have an indulgent meal, your next eating window it when you go back to normal. The "I've blown today so I'll continue eating all the goodies for now" no longer exists as an option!
And don't give me the: "but I can't fit everything I want into a single meal"!
Again. Normal is normal. And if you want to eat something, I don't care how healthy or unhealthy, make it fit into your normal REASONABLE allotment of calories. Instead of having "pipe-dream" targets that you miss 35% of the time (see the info-graphics below), it is time to have REAL TARGETS that you will hit 90+% of the time.
You tell me you want to push to go faster because your MFP goals are not fast enough. I am telling you that the fastest path to nowhere is to continue to engage in a classic restrict-binge spiral.
Yeah sometimes I don’t log in cause I’m lazy / it’s over / way too under but lemme log in properly from now on. Feel free to keep me in check
Not to be mean, but you need to keep yourself in check. This isn’t a team sport. It’s for you, your health, your weight, your life. If you can’t do it for yourself, what in the heck is some internet stranger going to do?
Like @PAV8888 said, time to put your big girl pants on.
My best advice would be to start being honest with yourself first and just start logging truthfully and accurately EVERY DAY for a while, even if it’s a disaster of a meal/day. Just do it and stop burying your head in the sand and then complaining about the mouthful of sand as a result.
The reasons you want to lose weight have to outweigh the reasons you want to binge/eat/gain. Only you can decide what those reasons are...7 -
UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »OK Ms @UmaMageswarymfp! I am going to be a mean *kitten*!
Do you WANT to stop spinning your wheels? NOT everyone actually wants to, and it is OK, if you don't. Nothing wrong with a pause
But if you DO want to stop spinning your wheels, it is time to put your big girl pants on and make rational decisions based on data!
More than 35% of your past 30 days are un-logged. WHY?
I don't care how far over, or under, you are on any which day. Being over doesn't mean that you get to put your day out of SIGHT and out of mind! LOG EVERY DAY.
While you have EVERY RIGHT to be over. You also have the obligation, to yourself, for now, to actually KNOW how much over you were. And then review and USE THE DATA to make decisions based on facts, not "feelz".
And what's with "Cheat DAY" in the first place? At this stage of the game a single higher Calories MEAL should be more than enough for you to enjoy your weekend and adhere to your plans. But NOT an off plan DAY.
Normal means normal. Normal is eating within your reasonable GOALS NOT outside. And yes, for that to happen your goals have to be SANE.
If you have an indulgent meal, your next eating window it when you go back to normal. The "I've blown today so I'll continue eating all the goodies for now" no longer exists as an option!
And don't give me the: "but I can't fit everything I want into a single meal"!
Again. Normal is normal. And if you want to eat something, I don't care how healthy or unhealthy, make it fit into your normal REASONABLE allotment of calories. Instead of having "pipe-dream" targets that you miss 35% of the time (see the info-graphics below), it is time to have REAL TARGETS that you will hit 90+% of the time.
You tell me you want to push to go faster because your MFP goals are not fast enough. I am telling you that the fastest path to nowhere is to continue to engage in a classic restrict-binge spiral.
Yeah sometimes I don’t log in cause I’m lazy / it’s over / way too under but lemme log in properly from now on. Feel free to keep me in check
Not to be mean, but you need to keep yourself in check. This isn’t a team sport. It’s for you, your health, your weight, your life. If you can’t do it for yourself, what in the heck is some internet stranger going to do?
Like @PAV8888 said, time to put your big girl pants on.
My best advice would be to start being honest with yourself first and just start logging truthfully and accurately EVERY DAY for a while, even if it’s a disaster of a meal/day. Just do it and stop burying your head in the sand and then complaining about the mouthful of sand as a result.
The reasons you want to lose weight have to outweigh the reasons you want to binge/eat/gain. Only you can decide what those reasons are...
Dude you’re making it sound like I’m failing miserably at what I’m doing. I’m struggling but yeah I thought this app is suppose to help people / inspire people. I’m grateful for those who are reaching out to me. Just so you know I have successfully lost 20kgs till this moment by MYSELF . I’m having some issues rn and I’m actively working on it. No need to be mean about it though. Thanks for your input.4 -
Uma the logging is an issue.
You're latching on being motivated by scale results and creating a reward feedback loop when you see success for your hard work.
You then work harder to restrict, eventually break, take a while to return to your diet.
Till one day the time period of when you'll get back will continue to be tomorrow for long enough that you will be posting in the I'm back section.
**Your reward loop should not be the scale, because you can't directly control the scale even when using a weight trend app**
Your weight trend which comes from your scale will provide useful information that you can use to fine tune the actual reward loop which should be based on things you can actively control
Your reward loop should be based on you achieving the pre conditions that will eventually allow you lose weight over time.
Regulating your "calories in" is mostly in your hands.
This is where 85+% of your results will come from, so it would make sense to dedicate 70 to 90% of your efforts there.
Slowly ramping up your activity and exploring new things to do is where the rest of your results will come from. Plus healthy, plus you'll feel better.
But the scale results are not a direct correspondence to your efforts.
There is a relationship but it is indirect.
Your victory should not be getting to 107. Or being disappointed because 5 or 6 months later you're not at 100.
First of all you should be using weigh trend app, not scale weight as your target.
Secondly and I'm deadly serious, I see a bit of a social culture with people dieting and making efforts and it being almost a social thing to discuss I tried this or that.
You're not losing a couple of vanity lbs. This is your health and if you haven't felt it yet due to youth, try not to wait like I did before waking up!
There is no try, there is only do (or whatever Yoda said)
Your weight is not 100% in your control. So it is a bad success motivator
Your desire to eat things is not something you will always be able to keep in check. So it is a bad success motivator.
Logging 100% of your meals, on 100% of your days? 100% in your control. So it is a Good motivator.
Logging everything you're about to put in your mouth BEFORE you do so? Excellent success motivator since it is entirely in your hands.
And it also gives you a chance to think twice whether you're eating something due to physical hunger, or due to some other need.
And it forces you to start learning to NOT wait till you're absolutely famished to eat (which often leads to overeating)
Put in the work to understand how you can bend yourself to where you want to be.
Figure out how to fit KFC in a day and what is the minimum amount of KFC that will keep you going. Same as to rice. Figure out how much you need to be not hungry and not unsatisfied and make sure you fit at least that much in your day. Or whatever else it is you're after, I'm using KFC and rice because you've brought them up
These are all productive use of your time for now and in the future, and rewarding puzzle games with the beneficial side effect of helping to manage your weight. Expending will-power on this is useful!
You need to discover and mold into the Uma who is maintaining her normal or slightly overweight weight once she has successfully reached her goals in a few years.
Are you willing to look me in the eye and tell me that you're going to be successful spending the next 50+ years acting the way that is depicted in the infographics I posted above?
Yet the infographic are showing exactly what you've been doing since you started fretting about your trip a few months back!
Yes you have done an amazing job over the past good year or so. But you're somewhat stuck. Now it is time to evaluate whether what has worked for you in the past continues to be working, or whether it is time to adjust!
And then make adjustments and move forward: we learn from failure and adversity. Hopefully more than to continue banging our head against the wall!
5 -
Uma the logging is an issue.
You're latching on being motivated by scale results and creating a reward feedback loop when you see success for your hard work.
You then work harder to restrict, eventually break, take a while to return to your diet.
Till one day the time period of when you'll get back will continue to be tomorrow for long enough that you will be posting in the I'm back section.
**Your reward loop should not be the scale*
The scale will provide information that you can use to fine tune the actual reward loop.
But your reward loop should be based on you achieving the pre conditions that will eventually allow you lose weight over time. Not be tied to weight directly.
Regulating your "calories in" is mostly in your hands.
This is where 85+% of your results will come from, so it would make sense to dedicate 70 to 90% of your efforts there.
Slowly ramping up your activity and exploring new things to do is where the rest of your results will come from. Plus healthy, plus you'll feel better.
But the scale results are not a direct correspondence to your efforts.
there is a relationship but it is indirect.
Your Victory should not be getting to 107. Or being disappointed because 5 or 6 months later you're not at 100.
First of all you should be using weigh trend app, not scale weight as your target.
Secondly and I'm deadly serious, I see a bit of a social culture with people dieting and making efforts and it being almost a social thing to discuss I tried this or that.
You're not losing a couple of vanity lbs. This is your health and if you haven't felt it yet due to youth, try not to wait like I did before waking up!
There is no try, there is only do (or whatever Yoda said)
Your weight is not 100% in your control. Bad success motivator
Your desire to eat things is not something you will always be able to keep in check. Bad success motivator.
Logging 100% of your meals, on 100% of your days?
100% in your control. Good motivator.
Logging everything you're about to put in your mouth BEFORE you do so?
Excellent success motivator since it is entirely in your hands.
And it gives you a chance to think twice whether you're eating something due to physical hunger or due to some other need.
And it forces you to start learning to NOT wait till you're absolutely famished to eat (which often causes overeating)
Putting in the work to plan and understand yourself? .
Figuring out how to fit KFC in a day and what is the minimum amount of KFC that will keep you going. Or whatever else it is you're after, I'm using KFC because you brought it up
Productive use of your time for now and in the future.
A rewarding puzzle game with the side effect of helping manage your weight.
You need to discover and mold into the Uma who is maintaining her normal or slightly overweight weight once she has successfully reached her goals in a few years.
Are you willing to look me in the eye and tell me that you're going to be successful spending the next 50+ years acting the way the infographics I posted above depict?
Yet the infographic are showing exactly what you've been doing since you started fretting about your trip a few months back!
Yes you have done an amazing job over the past good year or so.
Now it is time to evaluate whether what has worked for you in the past continues to be working, or whether it is time to adjust!
And then adjust and move forward!
Thank you soo much , I’ll log properly from now on2
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.7K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8.1K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.2K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions