No attraction left
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psychod787 wrote: »I thought losing a ton of weight would make my wife find me attractive, but I feel worthless that she doesn't even give me a second look.
Well bubba, losing weight won't immediately make someone "like" you. I am NO expert on women, but confidence can be a bigger turn on that your figure. I don't like to use this, but SOME women will take a man for granted until they notice other ladies looking at him. Hit the gym lifting! Work on gaining some muscle. Work on your confidence and see what happens. Best of luck.
Quite honestly, I would ditch such a guy. I don't want a guy with a sixpack who knows it all but someone who pays attention to me, has time for me, listens, someone I can chat about everything with and do things together with (no, not sitting in front of the telly) and who respects it when I want to be alone. I don't want a guy who thinks attraction is only about looks and confidence, and who spends all his free time in the gym or calculating how much protein he needs exactly, who tries to overpower me with his confidence and by doing so ignores my needs. This is true the other way around as well. It's about living together and enjoying ones togetherness, and nothing else.7 -
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psychod787 wrote: »I thought losing a ton of weight would make my wife find me attractive, but I feel worthless that she doesn't even give me a second look.
Well bubba, losing weight won't immediately make someone "like" you. I am NO expert on women, but confidence can be a bigger turn on that your figure. I don't like to use this, but SOME women will take a man for granted until they notice other ladies looking at him. Hit the gym lifting! Work on gaining some muscle. Work on your confidence and see what happens. Best of luck.
Quite honestly, I would ditch such a guy. I don't want a guy with a sixpack who knows it all but someone who pays attention to me, has time for me, listens, someone I can chat about everything with and do things together with (no, not sitting in front of the telly) and who respects it when I want to be alone. I don't want a guy who thinks attraction is only about looks and confidence, and who spends all his free time in the gym or calculating how much protein he needs exactly, who tries to overpower me with his confidence and by doing so ignores my needs. This is true the other way around as well. It's about living together and enjoying ones togetherness, and nothing else.
Why can't a man be both caring and care about his appearance? A person can be confident in his appearance and a person who does none of the bad things listened above and all the good. The trouble sometimes with significant others is they start to take their other for granted. Many adults of both sexes are like little kids. We can have a toy that we ignore until we see someone else wanting to play with it. We all need reminders of what we have.4 -
Well she told me she wants a divorce this morning, so I guess that tells me everything I need to know.
That is tough. I had a feeling it was heading in this direction but I didn't want to throw the 'D' word out there if there was still hope.
I don't know what kind of woman you are dealing with here or who is in her ear but I would bet she made this decision some time ago so she has had time to think and prepare. You should take reasonable steps to protect yourself and at least consult an attorney right away.
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@noah49822, how are you doing?0
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psychod787 wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »I thought losing a ton of weight would make my wife find me attractive, but I feel worthless that she doesn't even give me a second look.
Well bubba, losing weight won't immediately make someone "like" you. I am NO expert on women, but confidence can be a bigger turn on that your figure. I don't like to use this, but SOME women will take a man for granted until they notice other ladies looking at him. Hit the gym lifting! Work on gaining some muscle. Work on your confidence and see what happens. Best of luck.
Quite honestly, I would ditch such a guy. I don't want a guy with a sixpack who knows it all but someone who pays attention to me, has time for me, listens, someone I can chat about everything with and do things together with (no, not sitting in front of the telly) and who respects it when I want to be alone. I don't want a guy who thinks attraction is only about looks and confidence, and who spends all his free time in the gym or calculating how much protein he needs exactly, who tries to overpower me with his confidence and by doing so ignores my needs. This is true the other way around as well. It's about living together and enjoying ones togetherness, and nothing else.
Why can't a man be both caring and care about his appearance? A person can be confident in his appearance and a person who does none of the bad things listened above and all the good. The trouble sometimes with significant others is they start to take their other for granted. Many adults of both sexes are like little kids. We can have a toy that we ignore until we see someone else wanting to play with it. We all need reminders of what we have.
A relationship evolves.
During the early phases it is immature. There is not a lot of reality but there is a lot of heat. Chemicals in your brain are running wild.
A truly committed relationship has made it past the reintroduction of reality. You have settled in for the long haul. If it takes a third party's interest in your S.O. to get you interested you aren't really in this phase.
My marriage is well seasoned but I can assure you that at this very moment I truly believe that any man would be lucky to have my wife and many should try to win her if they were smart. I am smart so I try to spend some time winning her myself. I can't do this with my looks but I can do it with my actions first and words second.
One of the secrets is that you should not (always) be in the position where you are asking for physical "attention." You should behave in a way that makes her come to you.
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@psychod787 Boom. You're sooo right. Human nature to take it all for granted until someone else wants your spouse. Noah, hope you're doing alright. You've been through so much this past year.1
I hate that you are going through this. 
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