Help needed to lose weight

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  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
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    @prehistoricmoongoddess They've got you covered with the math. Catchy moniker. I agree with you. Only once in a blue moon do I discuss anything that pertains to weight with those in my circle.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,863 Member
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    @prehistoricmoongoddess - please ramble away, if rambling it seems to you. (I thought it was fine.) It's your thread, so you you can shift the topic a bit, if you wish.

    I'm a solo-living older woman, too, though in a suburb rather than a city, and no children or other family.

    Hang in there, you can and will find a route through this, I feel sure.

    There are several kind of chat-like groups or threads here, some just for women (like the monthly series of posts https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10805565/women-ages-50-for-august-2020 , but there are many others). Perhaps something like that would be helpful?

    All the best to you!
  • Mithridites
    Mithridites Posts: 595 Member
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    Have you considered a pet? It’s a big responsibility and not for everyone, but they can lift spirits and motivate. My little dog sure helps me get my steps in! Hang in there, tomorrow might be a sunny day :)
  • prehistoricmoongoddess
    prehistoricmoongoddess Posts: 1,002 Member
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    Have you considered a pet? It’s a big responsibility and not for everyone, but they can lift spirits and motivate. My little dog sure helps me get my steps in! Hang in there, tomorrow might be a sunny day :)

    It's not something I'd do. I usually spend several weeks a year on holiday, although that's not happening this year. Also I live in an apartment with no outside space except a car park.
  • deepsea117
    deepsea117 Posts: 30 Member
    edited August 2020
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    First thing:
    Figure out your Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR.) This an estimate of how many calories you need a day to maintain your current weight.

    Next thing:
    You don't have to consume only 1200 calories a day. Your NET calories consumed should be at 1200 or whatever you're aiming for, to lose weight. That means logging all your physical activity no matter how mundane, or becoming more active.

    Your RMR should tell you that we're always burning calories while we're alive. From there, it's only about burning more calories than you eat. All the diet plans rely on that one fact.

    Your daughter may naturally have a higher RMR. So she burns through calories at a faster RATE. No sweat--you can get your rate up too. When I started in February, I was estimated an RMR of 2150 calories given my age, height, weight, activity level.

    Now my rate is estimated at 2375. I have a higher activity level (which I logged daily), and the numbers add up. Since quarantine, I've lost close to 40lbs of fat. Gained muscle and muscle tone more importantly.

    I also have labs done and worked with a nutritionist the whole time. All in the green.

    Last thing:
    Start slow and progress. A 500 calorie deficit in your diet is ideal, because that's 1lb a week... but 500 maybe a little too much right away.

    So.... why not go for a 350 calorie deficit, instead?

    And simply exercise the remaining 150!

    You'd be surprised that light housecleaning is an actual activity under "Workouts." And it burns a surprising amount! Just look up on the internet and you'll find all these ways to burn 10-20 calories here or there. Park further from the entrance, maybe take a flight or two of stairs...there's many ways! And they all add up.

    Good luck with your journey, feel free to message me or add me if you want support!
  • prehistoricmoongoddess
    prehistoricmoongoddess Posts: 1,002 Member
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    deepsea117 wrote: »
    First thing:
    Figure out your Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR.) This an estimate of how many calories you need a day to maintain your current weight.

    Next thing:
    You don't have to consume only 1200 calories a day. Your NET calories consumed should be at 1200 or whatever you're aiming for, to lose weight. That means logging all your physical activity no matter how mundane, or becoming more active.

    Your RMR should tell you that we're always burning calories while we're alive. From there, it's only about burning more calories than you eat. All the diet plans rely on that one fact.

    Your daughter may naturally have a higher RMR. So she burns through calories at a faster RATE. No sweat--you can get your rate up too. When I started in February, I was estimated an RMR of 2150 calories given my age, height, weight, activity level.

    Now my rate is estimated at 2375. I have a higher activity level (which I logged daily), and the numbers add up. Since quarantine, I've lost close to 40lbs of fat. Gained muscle and muscle tone more importantly.

    I also have labs done and worked with a nutritionist the whole time. All in the green.

    Last thing:
    Start slow and progress. A 500 calorie deficit in your diet is ideal, because that's 1lb a week... but 500 maybe a little too much right away.

    So.... why not go for a 350 calorie deficit, instead?

    And simply exercise the remaining 150!

    You'd be surprised that light housecleaning is an actual activity under "Workouts." And it burns a surprising amount! Just look up on the internet and you'll find all these ways to burn 10-20 calories here or there. Park further from the entrance, maybe take a flight or two of stairs...there's many ways! And they all add up.

    Good luck with your journey, feel free to message me or add me if you want support!

    Thank you for your advice. I will work RMR after writing this. I'm trying to be more active, managed 6000 steps yesterday as took a longer route to the shops.

    I've got a Garmin watch and it showed that my heart rate was much higher than my daughter's when walking together and I got a lot of intensity minutes while she got none. That implied to me that I was using more calories than her when getting around.

    I don't drive so I do get exercise walking to the shops or to get buses.

    There is a lift to the floor below me but not to my floor, so even if I have a lot of shopping and take the lift the last stairs it gives me a bit of a work out. However, I'm now only getting a couple of items at a time so I need to go out more.

    I don't really have many reasons to go out, but I'm planning to go out and take a few photos of the area to send to a friend in Canada who used to live near to me in my childhood. I'm hoping that will encourage me.

    I might go to my local cafe today just to have a low calorie drink and be around other people.

    I'll also send you a friend request, thank you.
  • prehistoricmoongoddess
    prehistoricmoongoddess Posts: 1,002 Member
    edited August 2020
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    Just calculated my RMR and it is 1511
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
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    "I've got a Garmin watch and it showed that my heart rate was much higher than my daughter's when walking together and I got a lot of intensity minutes while she got none. That implied to me that I was using more calories than her when getting around."

    Actually it doesn't mean that at all - it purely means your heartrate was higher.
    There is a huge variation in HR due to people's genetics, fitness and plain old efficiency of their pump.

    The tenuous link between HR and calories breaks done under lots of circumstances and especially when trying to compare different people.

    Couple of examples:
    Three experienced cyclists training indoors all producing same power/burning same calories to produce that power - 50% difference between the highest and lowest heartrates.
    My HR is 20% lower than it used to be due to increased fitness - but I can burn also 30% more calories at the same HR as previously.
  • prehistoricmoongoddess
    prehistoricmoongoddess Posts: 1,002 Member
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    sijomial wrote: »
    "I've got a Garmin watch and it showed that my heart rate was much higher than my daughter's when walking together and I got a lot of intensity minutes while she got none. That implied to me that I was using more calories than her when getting around."

    Actually it doesn't mean that at all - it purely means your heartrate was higher.
    There is a huge variation in HR due to people's genetics, fitness and plain old efficiency of their pump.

    The tenuous link between HR and calories breaks done under lots of circumstances and especially when trying to compare different people.

    Couple of examples:
    Three experienced cyclists training indoors all producing same power/burning same calories to produce that power - 50% difference between the highest and lowest heartrates.
    My HR is 20% lower than it used to be due to increased fitness - but I can burn also 30% more calories at the same HR as previously.

    Thank you for that, I obviously held an incorrect assumption.

    My average resting heart rate over the last 7 days was 64 and the average highest was 120,

    Lowest was 58 and highest was 137
  • prehistoricmoongoddess
    prehistoricmoongoddess Posts: 1,002 Member
    edited August 2020
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    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I'd add that the idea of using your RMR and adding every single thing you do as exercise is . . . unusual, shall we say.

    If you use MFP's guided set-up as directed, and set it up per instructions (selecting activity level based on pre-exercise activities, inputting a desired weekly loss rate), it will estimate your daily calorie needs including an average amount of daily life activity for housework and whatnot, and include an allowance (deficit) to achieve weight loss. You then add *intentional* exercise by logging it separately.**

    I don't do any intentional exercise and log it separately.

    My Garmin is linked to MFP and my steps are logged and the adjustments are made automatically.

    I will probably get to 7000 steps which will give me quite a few exercise calories but I rarely get to eat any of them back as I'm struggling to eat the minimum that are set.

    If I tried to eat at a 500 or even a 350 calorie deficit then I'd be eating less than1200 most days.

  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,863 Member
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    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I'd add that the idea of using your RMR and adding every single thing you do as exercise is . . . unusual, shall we say.

    If you use MFP's guided set-up as directed, and set it up per instructions (selecting activity level based on pre-exercise activities, inputting a desired weekly loss rate), it will estimate your daily calorie needs including an average amount of daily life activity for housework and whatnot, and include an allowance (deficit) to achieve weight loss. You then add *intentional* exercise by logging it separately.**

    I don't do any intentional exercise and log it separately.

    My Garmin is linked to MFP and my steps are logged and the adjustments are made automatically.

    I will probably get to 7000 steps which will give me quite a few exercise calories but I rarely get to eat any of them back as I'm struggling to eat the minimum that are set.

    If I tried to eat at a 500 or even a 350 calorie deficit then I'd be eating less than1200 most days.

    It sounds like you're on a very reasonable track, then: You can forget all that stuff about RMR.

    What's really important is not your theoretical (estimated) deficit, what's really important is your actual weight loss rate (which gives you insight into your true deficit).

    So, stick with what you're doing, consistently for a month. Try to get in at least the 1200, and at/near/over the goals for protein and fats (which are essential nutrients, i.e., you need to eat some, because your body can't manufacture them from other nutrients).

    Then, look at your average weight loss rate. If you're losing too fast (say, more than 1% of your current weight per week), it would be a really health-promoting idea to eat more. If you need to do that, you can use more calorie-dense but not very satiating foods. For most people, that would be things like nuts, nut butters, seeds, a bit more olive oil or similar on veggies or salads, etc.: Calories, useful nutrients, not very filling. Even using some treats to get to a sensible calorie goal - one where you're not losing riskily fast - is fine, especially if nutrition is already in pretty good shape for the day. Some people like to lose fast, but there can be risks in doing that. Those risks can be a little higher, at our age. I don't want to scare you, but moderation is a conservative, healthy approach.

    You may lose just fine at the 1200, not too fast, not too slow. If you can get your good nutrition in at that level, too, you're golden.

    Keep in mind that your true deficit (the one your body acts out in bodyweight changes over weeks) is figured with the exercise or daily activity also in the equation. If you're not able to eat your activity calories now, in effect, they're increasing your deficit. (Your Garmin could be over- or under-estimating them, but they don't burn zero, so they count as part of your calories out, whatever the actual non-zero number of them is). If they're increasing your true deficit, but you don't lose weight riskily fast as a result, and you also don't become weak or fatigued, you should be fine.

    All the best!

    P.S. Sometimes the first couple of weeks on a new routine, with calorie limits, can be a bit of a roller coaster (water retention changes from different eating/exercise, and that sort of thing). If when you get to the month or so of experience and re-evaluate, but see that the first week or two were very unusual compared to later, I'd suggest ignoring those weeks, maybe letting things roll on for another week or two to get plenty of data, and using later weeks to get averages.
  • prehistoricmoongoddess
    prehistoricmoongoddess Posts: 1,002 Member
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    Thank you @AnnPT77

    Thank you for taking the time to write such a comprehensive reply.

    At the moment I have set my macros at 50 carbs, 30 fats and 20 protein. I'm hitting the fats, exceeding the protein and not reaching the carbs. I've been a bit worried that I might exceed the fats and sugars, although the sugars are not added sugars, but mainly fruit and milk sugars.

    I'm losing about 1lb a week but I'm only on about week 5, and I was losing a few weeks before that but I was not properly monitoring at that time.

    I might eat more nuts if it's ok to exceed the fats I'll get. I really don't want to eat more carbs as I'm not really that hungry anymore.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,863 Member
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    Thank you @AnnPT77

    Thank you for taking the time to write such a comprehensive reply.

    At the moment I have set my macros at 50 carbs, 30 fats and 20 protein. I'm hitting the fats, exceeding the protein and not reaching the carbs. I've been a bit worried that I might exceed the fats and sugars, although the sugars are not added sugars, but mainly fruit and milk sugars.

    I'm losing about 1lb a week but I'm only on about week 5, and I was losing a few weeks before that but I was not properly monitoring at that time.

    I might eat more nuts if it's ok to exceed the fats I'll get. I really don't want to eat more carbs as I'm not really that hungry anymore.

    It's typically not a good plan to be persistently under fats or protein by large-ish proportions. It's fine to be over them, from both a weight loss and health/nutrition perspective (unless you personally have some medical issue that requires limitations on them, such as kidney disease).

    Carbs, IMO, don't matter very much, in the abstract. Some people find carbs cause them to crave more carbs, so make it hard to stick with a calorie goal happily. Those people should eat fewer carbs. Other people find that if they eat low carb, their energy tanks, or other bad side-effects happen (sleep problems, mood, whatever). Those people are probably better off eating a bit more carbs. Obviously, people who've been diagnosed as diabetic or insulin resistant will need to manage their carbs, per their doctor & registered dietitian's directions. The rest of us, in my view, can just let carbs fall wherever they end up, that keeps us happy, as long as we're getting enough fats/protein (and of course a good amount of veg & fruit for micros and fiber).

    Inherent (non-added) sugars are not a worry, either, IMO, as long as protein, fat and the veg/fruit servings are in the groove. Even added sugar is mostly a problem if it drives out proper nutrition, or drives us past calorie goal while getting proper nutrition. (Obviously, unless diabetic/insulin resistant or something like that.)

    So, regulating your carbs based on how you feel is fine (absent medical conditions) and it's also fine to trade some carbs for some nuts to get a few more calories if you need them to keep your weight loss at a sensible rate. For most people with a bit to lose, a pound a week is a good rate (maybe a little slower when within around 15-20 pounds of goal, can safely be a bit faster if desired for those substantially obese). Sounds like you're right in the sweet spot now. 🙂
  • prehistoricmoongoddess
    prehistoricmoongoddess Posts: 1,002 Member
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    Thanks a lot AnnPT77