Don’t Listen to the Onlookers

everher
everher Posts: 909 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
They mean well, but frankly, usually have no idea what they are talking about.

Either you’re losing weight too fast, too slow, eating too much, not enough, eating the wrong things, eating the wrong way - the list goes on.

Don’t mind so much what the other people in your life think. Especially, those who give unsolicited advice when they have never been in your position.

Follow what works for you and is medically safe.

Replies

  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
    SuzySunshine99 wrote: »
    The best way I found to avoid unsolicited advice was to not discuss my weight loss plan or progress with anyone. If you share with people that you are trying to lose weight, that opens the door.

    Agreed, but there are some people who are just bold. I know a few of them 😂.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    jdhcm2006 wrote: »
    SuzySunshine99 wrote: »
    The best way I found to avoid unsolicited advice was to not discuss my weight loss plan or progress with anyone. If you share with people that you are trying to lose weight, that opens the door.

    Agreed, but there are some people who are just bold. I know a few of them 😂.

    Also, if you lose enough weight so that it becomes obvious, people are going to comment whether you say anything or not.

    In the past, if people were to ask what I was doing to lose weight, I’d just say something vague like, “watching what I eat”.

  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,135 Member
    SuzySunshine99 wrote: »
    The best way I found to avoid unsolicited advice was to not discuss my weight loss plan or progress with anyone. If you share with people that you are trying to lose weight, that opens the door.

    BINGO! We have a winner!
    jdhcm2006 wrote: »
    Agreed, but there are some people who are just bold. I know a few of them 😂.

    We don't like those people though... ;) There's always one or two folks like this in our worlds. Opinions are like a-holes; everbody's got one!
    booksandchocolate12 wrote: »
    Also, if you lose enough weight so that it becomes obvious, people are going to comment whether you say anything or not.

    In the past, if people were to ask what I was doing to lose weight, I’d just say something vague like, “watching what I eat”.

    This was/is my go-to answer as well! I'd just say "I'm watching what I eat and exercising a bit here or there". Keep it simple and generic. None of their business anyways.

    I have one co-worker that kept coming by and ask how my cancer is going. I told him last time that one of these days he's gonna feel horrible if I actually DO get cancer. He hasn't come back...
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    It's touchy. Some get their feelings hurt because no one notices. How long did it take before anyone notices, there are several threads like that.

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/575295/how-many-pounds-before-people-noticed

    Some don't know what to say because it implies you look great now and WOW, how did you let yourself go and get in that position in the first place. More hurt feelings. There will be all kinds of comments. Get ready.

    Sure hope you don't eat it all back again like you always do. How are you going to keep it off this time? Snidely Whiplash passive aggressive comments. Our families and friends can be our harshest critics. Some have their relationships change. One partner may no longer want you because you're no longer willing to go along for all of their thrill eating rides. They may pull the rug right out from underneath you and ask for a divorce. It happens.

    A large weight loss can cause changes in the mind as well as the body. Not just for you but others around you. You might lose some along the way. Their perceptions of how they see us can change. They don't want to adapt to our change. Trouble in Paradise.

    This is serious business. Their mileage and our mileage may always vary.
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    Most people are naturally curious. Some may even be envious. If they want to lose weight and you're losing it, they may in fact be secretly shopping for solutions.

    People that offer unsolicited advice about it mean well. Perhaps it excites them to discuss things. Humoring people with a "oh, I might have to try that" will often yield decent results.

    If you know more about their backgrounds, it may also give you some idea what they're mindset is regarding weight. At barely overweight, I am told I look "healthy" by many family friends. We were all quite poor and food was scarce most of that time, so it sort of makes sense that some added pounds seems healthier to them.

    I have yet to find anyone that has been actively malicious upon learning I am trying to lose weight. And even rude/unsolicited comments/advice come from a place of well meaning.

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