Concerned for my 10 year olds health

Diatonic12

There's always a way. An appointed child's advocate will give her a voice.

AshHeartsJesus

So sad 😦
Maybe a dumb idea but could you pack food for her to take for snacks and some meals? These people sound shady and mean maybe they could be persuaded money wise by you footing the bill for meals. Her Dad maybe awful about cooking but giving kid a piece of fruit is more then reasonable. Surely he can spoon some pb in a bowl with baby carrots and celery...so many healthy options.

Jacq_qui

Your ex needs to firstly stand up to his parents and tell him to be nice and keep quiet. He has the responsibility when your daughter is with them to protect her from this. If he can't do that, or he doesn't recognise the problem and your daughter is upset about spending time there, then I'd seriously rethink how much time she spends there. Sounds awful and very stressful - I hope you find a way through it soon.

cvdub16

Thank you all for your comments and advice I am so very grateful for the help!

skinnyjingbb

Just from personal experience as I was overweight also around your daughter's age. One thing important is DO NOT TALK TO HER ABOUT HER WEIGHT. I have Asian parents, so comments about my weight since childhood is frequent and at every family gathering. Some relative will say you look like you lose weight trying to be nice but my skinny cousin never get any comments about their weight, so even at that age you know. Positive or negative comments doesn't matter, she is probably already self conscious about her weight, talking about it only make it worse. It will only promote unhealth relationship with food. Also when you restricting her from food she like, she will likely over binge on them when you are not around.

Introduce her to health life style with out outwardly mention them. Look up fun activity that can get her moving more. Like get Wii sport like game if out door activity are not possible due to pandemic. Like other mentioned, involve her with cooking, so she start to love health home cooking more than processed food and take out.
Getting some cute but small plates so gave her smaller portion to begin with, if she indeed feeling hungry after finishing, she can get second serving. For snacks like sugary treats, buy individual wrapped one or portion out your self and stored in a dedicated place instead having them readily available in the house. Gave her a small snack allowance a day , and she can pick what she likes, maybe additional snack for doing chores ect.

ReenieHJ

4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »

kshama2001 wrote: »

cvdub16 wrote: »

Thank you all so much for this I greatly appreciate it! It is a very tough situation and I fear I will never be able to change the way they do things at the other house. I think I just need to focus on her and when she is with me and have my husband and I do the best we can while she is with us. It breaks my heart cause when she talks about how they talk to her she cries. I just want her to be happy and its so hard when I am dealing with another home and person I don't have too much control over. I honestly only have control over my own home.

Sounds like you're giving up.

What about taking her father with you to the pediatritian?

What about family counseling?

If I thought my child was being emotionally abused at the other parent's and that there was nothing that could be done to change that, I'd seek full custody.

I agree, sometimes it is good to let momma bear out a bit!

Are they aware they have made her cry on more than one occasion? I am guessing she doesn't cry in front of them but they would sure be getting a phone call from me after she told me about it. I think you will be fighting a losing battle if you try to just build her up at your house but she continues to return to an environment where she gets torn to bits.

I was wondering the same thing; if your dd even makes them aware how hurt she feels. Are they that callous to not care?? Argh. Yes, it'd bring the Mamabear out in me as well. It took me back to when my dd was young, around your dd's age. She went with her best friend and her parents, her bf said something about my dd's weight and my dd was very upset when she got home. I called the mom and told her what happened. The mom didn't realize and her bf had no clue how her remarks had made my dd feel. This family was pretty close to us because not only was it my dd's bf but they had also been a former daycare family of mine. They met when they were 3 yo and are still good friends today, at age 28.
Do whatever you have to do to protect your dd so she knows she can trust you and you're on her side. Good luck.

OceanEscape

I wish my mom would've had the mindset you did. I remember being 10 being the age where I was overweight and she made the comment, "I'm not changing my diet for anyone." I still suffer from my weight, I'm near the biggest I've ever been.