i have always struggled with low self esteem. In school, I struggled with restricting and binging on food and then purging. I was very very slim. After I had my first daughter, I was in a very toxic relationship and food was the one thing I could absolutely control and it made me happy.
Every single time I try to lose weight, I get really upset if I cannot binge on food, I hate myself so much that I often sabotage everything. I can't look at myself in mirrors, Im the biggest I ever have been at 18 stone. None of my clothes fit, I don't leave the house as it's embarrassing. I need to lose weight but I dont know how, I really dont.