Telling People You've Lost Weight... Rude ?

donyellemoniquex3

sometimes a conversation goes like this

me: have you noticed anything ?
them: you look great !
me: I've lost 20lbs !
them: oh.... that's great ! yeah ! Good for you !

Which is then followed by them sharply exhaling.

TamaraKat

Mmmm, I don't find it rude if you mention it once but if you do it more I think it could get repetitive or on people's nerves...
Approach it the right way!

SomewhatCool

People tend towards finding people to be attention *kitten* if they "fish for compliments," so to speak. Aend, they're more than likely jealoua of your progress. I know the feeping, my friend is the same way... Give it time, people will notice when they notice and some will compliment you, but some wont.

dakotababy

That sounds like attention seeking...perhaps only mention it when other bring it up? Yes I consider this type of conversation as..."egotistic" or attention seeking...not rude, but weird.

Edit to add: You also lost 18lbs according to your scale, not 20.

itsscottwilder

I am wary of any conversation that starts with "Have you noticed anything?"

It feels like a test.

kf5ljp

Here in the Philippines people will spare nothing to tell you when your fat but will say nothing when you've lost. But they will mention it to others,,,so if you get the second hand gossip coming back to you, then its a good thing,,,it means someone is jealous

garber6th

That conversation is not far off from asking someone "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" No one wants to be cornered like that, and honestly, some people are hesitant to mention weight, good or bad, because people on the receiving end of those comments can be overly sensitive either way.

gmallan

I don't think there's anything wrong about bragging about something you've accomplished. You've obviously worked hard and are proud of what you've achieved. I'd pick and choose who yo're bragging too though. With family member or close friends it shouldn't be an issue - in an ideal world they should be happy for you. No different to bragging about a PR lift or new PR running time.

airangel59

I don't fish...I don't bring it up..if they ask me it's one thing but I'm doing this for me, not to get compliments or anything.

Some people have noticed of course and say something, others have never said a thing to me about the loss. When asked I do say yes I've lost or am losing and if they ask how, I tell them.

Wildflower0106

Sounds kind of like you were fishing for compliments.

recoveryjunky

When I do it, I'm not fishing for complements but rather just REALLY proud of myself. I'll tell anyone if the conversation gets even close to it. Right now, my life kind of revolves around weight loss. I have the opportunity to turn 100% inward and do things for me and I'm freakin taking it! Other people can either deal with it or not talk to me.

RaggedyPond

I do not like fishers.

BonnieandClyde29

Just depends on the person I think on who your telling or how you are going about it... I have done it, but with close friends and family, and not very often. If your excited then hell yeah that's understandable, but normally I don't like to mention my progress until I feel that I have reached my point of where I want to be or very close!

athenasurrenders

Telling people isn't rude, but I agree that approaching them with 'Have you noticed anything?' is likely to make them uncomfortable. You've put them in the awkward position of guessing what they were supposed to notice and the subtle implication is that they're not being attentive or giving enough compliments.

I would also only bring it up with people you are very very close to and could reasonably be expected to be your cheerleaders - spouse, best friend, maybe a sister.

alisonlynn1976

I think it's rude to fish for compliments, yes.

tarotlou

They've noticed, if they are any kind of friend they will tell you how fab you look without having to fish for compliments

grrrlface

It is a bit rude. Most people notice without you having to fish for compliments.

unFATuated

I don't bring it up. If they notice, great. If not, well it's not an issue for me - feeling proud of myself is the most important thing. I actually would feel uncomfortable if someone said to me 'Wow! You've lost so much weight!' Because that brings up things like 'How bad did I look before?' 'Did they judge me for being bigger?' and so on.

jamiebxo

It's not rude to tell people you've lost weight, not at all. If I was having a conversation with someone and the topic of weightloss came up, depending on the person I'm talking to I might tell them I've lost weight myself, if I felt it was an appropriate thing to mention at the time. But I wouldn't deliberately put someone on the spot by suddenly asking them 'Hey, have you noticed anything different about me? That I'm (insert amount of lbs here) thinner?'. Kind of gives off an attention-seeking vibe, I think.

JenAndSome

If it just randomly came up in a conversation it would be fine. If you are really starting the conversation like that, I don't think it's rude, but maybe a little needy. I wouldn't mention it to people unless they ask. Someone may not want to hear about it that day if they had stepped on the scale that morning and realize they gained weight.

thepetiterunner

I would ask you to examine the reason why you started that conversation. Were you really just wanting to share that you hit a goal or were you looking for validation, or both? It seems like you're still looking for outward validation, to me.

While it's exciting that you're on your journey to health and fitness, others may not be and while I understand the enthusiasm, it would be best to be a bit more sensitive to other people's feelings. Maybe they don't want to hear about your weight loss because it reminds them of the 10 lbs they've been wanting to lose. Or maybe they simply don't want to have to validate you all the time. Be careful to not alienate people.

xxhieixx

I don't find it rude at all. I had a coworker mention how I looked good and she could tell I've lost weight. She quickly followed with "I never know if I should tell people that or not. I hope that didn't sound offensive". I didn't even know some people found that offensive, it always makes me feel better! I guess if you weren't trying to lose weight and someone said that it might make them upset but she knows I'm dieting and exercising.
However, I never bring it up to other people. I'm proud of myself and that's all that matters. Everyone is different and I really don't want to make people feel awkward or to feel like they should comment on my weight

JL2513

I've lost 18 of the 30 pounds I want to lose so far and not once have I brought it up. That's mostly because I'm a modest person by nature, but I also want people to notice and bring it up. Besides family, I've had one colleague notice my weight loss and she is genuinely happy for me; she's also on a weight loss journey. I feel like it's something better appreciated when you don't bring it up yourself.

It is nice when people notice and I certainly expected more people to actually say something, but I'm honestly not bothered by it. I feel and see the changes and because these people see me day in and day out, it's probably hard for them to notice the gradual changes. I have noticed, however, my colleagues giving me long looks like they're trying to pinpoint something about me, so maybe they do see something but are afraid to bring it up or aren't sure.

I'm actually waiting for the day people will notice once I hit my goal weight and I can tell them that yea, I did lose weight- 30 pounds. Bam! I kind of like the idea of them not really knowing and then having it suddenly hit them one day.

qtgonewild

when you have a bunch to lose, 18-20 doesn't look like much. just sayin. I should know.

Sabine_Stroehm

This is interesting timing. I recently had a conversation with a relative who's lost a lot of weight. We'd been together maybe two minutes when she said: see, I've lost x pounds, don't I look good! (she does).

I wished she'd allowed me to bring it up, as I was planning, but meh, she's happy about it. So it goes. I'm happy for her.

But. We're family. I wondered, after she left, if others feel as I did in the moment. I hope no one's upset with her, or put off, or whatever, but wouldn't be surprised. And knowing her as well as I do, I'm quite sure she does bring it up before allowing others to.

TheSlorax

Honestly, save for maybe one or two people, no one really noticed I lost weight until pretty recently when I hit about the 50 lb mark. I'm not the kind to fish for compliments anyway but my thought is, if people aren't noticing, lose more and wait until they do. You have to know that people are not observant at all so 20 lbs going unnoticed is not surprising to me at all. Plus if someone sees you every day, it's hard for them to notice subtle physical changes in you (kind of the same way you don't see yourself any smaller in the mirror).

I personally would be REALLY weirded out if anyone had that conversation with me, but I'm socially awkward as hell so maybe it's just me. Lots of things weird me out, not gonna lie! Still, you really probably shouldn't be starting conversations like that, it's kind of a trap as another poster pointed out. Are you doing this at work or just with family members? That's what I wanna know.

stroynaya

Nothing wrong with bragging about how you've lost weight, but it's gonna be awkward and offputting to people if you don't wait for them to introduce it.

I had two people at work recently tell me about significant weight loss (neither of whom I knew when they were heavier). One was completely natural after I had complemented her several times on how much I loved her outfits. The other was awkward and forced, similar to your example, as if he was just looking for a place to shoehorn it into the conversation.

Alluminati

I don't think it's rude, per say. It does put them on the spot though, and no one likes that. 20 lbs is a great accomplishment, congrats. But on some folks it's not immediately noticeable. Telling peeps you lost when they didn't notice in the first place is just awkward for everyone.

slmakar

20 lbs is fantastic, and there's a good chance you busted your *kitten* to get that weight off. 20 lbs can be kinda hard for other people to notice. Frankly, we just don't pay as much attention to other's weight as we do to our own.

Lose even half the weight your ticker says you are trying to lose and people will really start to notice. You won't have to say a thing! You will get compliments on your good looks, asked how you did it (and what your secret magic weight loss bullet is), and even some snipy, rude comments from the ultra-jealous.

lilbearzmom

I think it's pretty rude to put someone on the spot like that. If you're super excited about losing some weight, it wouldn't be as bad to say, "Guess what? I lost 20 pounds as of today!"

I have lost 130 lbs and I have NEVER fished for compliments like that. Most people have commented to me about my loss, but there are some people who haven't said a word. I think it's strange, but I certainly don't put them on the spot and force them to say something.

nomeejerome

sometimes a conversation goes like this

me: have you noticed anything ?
them: you look great !
me: I've lost 20lbs !
them: oh.... that's great ! yeah ! Good for you !

Which is then followed by them sharply exhaling.

There is a difference between telling people you have lost weight (because they asked) and putting them in an awkward position to guess what has changed about you. Awkward situations. Awkward responses/reactions.