Telling People You've Lost Weight... Rude ?

FaithsVegWorkout

While I agree that asking if someone has noticed something about your appearance puts them on the spot, I also think it's possible to ask that in an innocent way as a segue to tell them you lost weight/got your hair done/got botox. .. whatever. Not everyone has a direct communication style.

People who love you and care about you won't overanalyze how you communicate with them about things you are happy about in life. However, if you insult them for not noticing, which it doesn't sound like you did, then that's taking it a bit too far.

I'm a very direct communicator, so I'll just say, "Woohoo! I lost 5 pounds!" If that's seen as bragging or being rude, then I don't really want that person as a friend. On the other hand, I have friends who are not as direct in their communication, and if they ask if I noticed something, I'll be honest. I don't feel bad for not noticing. It's not my job to constantly notice what's different about people. However, I'm a mild narcissist.

RunningSwede

I wouldn't call it rude...but it's sooooo much sweeter when I wait for them to tell me.

deemariec

I wouldn't say anything if they want to comment on you they will without having to be asked

james6998

sometimes a conversation goes like this

me: have you noticed anything ?
them: you look great !
me: I've lost 20lbs !
them: oh.... that's great ! yeah ! Good for you !

Which is then followed by them sharply exhaling.

I think that would depend on a few factors.

1. are they over weight themselves?
2. your relationship to them
3. if they are the paranoid type?
Some people look at others victories as personal attacks to them.

AleciaG724

It's frustrating for me having lost 40+# and not have anyone "notice" except those who know I've been trying to lose. Honestly, I know I have a lot more weight to get rid of, but I've lost almost 15% of my total body weight & it's not noticeable yet? Hmph...

I think most people are just not that observant, so I wouldn't say it's rude, but it's fishing by asking IMO.

Microfiber

A colleague once asked me if I thought she had lost weight, tbh, I was just thinking how much weight she'd put on :noway: but since she fished for a compliment, I gave her a compliment :laugh: She went away happy

Sjenny5891

One does not usually discuss their own weight. I may ask someone if they have lost weight or tell them a specific pair of pants.

sonyacheetham1

Sometimes it just comes up in conversation. There was one time I was speaking to someone about it and I felt awful after as it was something this person was struggling with. Then again if you are proud of what you have achieved why not tell people but only if it comes up in a conversation,

WildlyCurly

To me it's not the rudest thing in the world you can do. But, it really depends on the relationship you have with the person you are telling. If this person is someone you can share anything with such as weight loss goals, then it's not rude, saying it all the time to this person is not really rude, but it could get annoying. On the other hand if it's a person you're an aquaintance with, like a person you often see in the supermarket, or in the gym, and those once in a while encounters, then I can see how that is rude (from their perspective) especially if the person struggles with their weight, these people might feel that it's a dig at them due to insecurities, while others will just think it's bragging.

But if it was said to me by an aquiantance I really would not think it's rude, I'd see it as a bit narcisistic but not rude. It's fairly typical for people to share good news to seek some sort of approval. Random aquitances that I have not seen in a while have told me how much weight they have lost, how they don't have to shop in plus size stores anymore, how much money they are making at their job, the level of education they reached since they saw me last, and all this information was shared witthout me asking. I don't get offended, see it as rude, or as a dig at me. In high school and in early college days I would have, but now I realize that some people just want others to notice them, and want to hear praise as some kind of reward for their hard work.

Good job on the weightloss. Losing weight is it's own reward and you don't need other people's praise or approval for the feeling of accomplishment.

Jlennhikes

When I do it, I'm not fishing for complements but rather just REALLY proud of myself. I'll tell anyone if the conversation gets even close to it. Right now, my life kind of revolves around weight loss. I have the opportunity to turn 100% inward and do things for me and I'm freakin taking it! Other people can either deal with it or not talk to me.

It's a free country, but wouldn't it be more pleasant to get honest compliments and not turn off people around you? You can't get much fun out out of extorted compliments, no?

lsmsrbls

It's rude to ask people basically to guess what you've changed. They wind up scrutinizing your appearance, unsure of the correct answer while being totally put on the spot. They are expected to compliment you on something without knowing what that something is.

It's an uncomfortable position to be in.

bookwormjoy

So true about Filipino culture... I was CONSTANTLY reminded growing up that I was fat...

FlaxMilk

It's frustrating for me having lost 40+# and not have anyone "notice" except those who know I've been trying to lose. Honestly, I know I have a lot more weight to get rid of, but I've lost almost 15% of my total body weight & it's not noticeable yet? Hmph...

I think most people are just not that observant, so I wouldn't say it's rude, but it's fishing by asking IMO.

If it helps, I only comment on weight loss to people I know are trying to lose. I don't see commenting on their bodies as my business if they haven't chosen to share with me about the state of their bodies. A general compliment is usually the most specific I'll get unless it's something very specific like a haircut.

dj0jazzy

You should be proud and instead of people acting like that they should just try being happy for you. You've obviously worked for it.

Alatariel75

Wouldn't you rather people brought it up rather than gave you a compliment because you cornered them?

I don't have a problem with even telling people you've lost weight, but actually asking them if they have noticed something and expecting them to guess is offputting and fishing.

Also, when you have a lot to lose, 20lbs isn't that noticeable... I know this, coz I'm there.

CollieFit

sometimes a conversation goes like this

me: have you noticed anything ?
them: you look great !
me: I've lost 20lbs !
them: oh.... that's great ! yeah ! Good for you !

Which is then followed by them sharply exhaling.

It's awkward....

What if they can't see a difference and desperate for some kind of reply they start guessing.... "new dress"?? "been to the hair dresser"??

It's just awkward. Don't fish for compliments!

nikkylyn

wait to see if they bring it up first...i wouldnt just bring it up...im sure ppl have noticed...the only person i care to notice is my husband

jen_zz

I am wary of any conversation that starts with "Have you noticed anything?"

It feels like a test.

Yes! Hate getting that question.

justal313

At this point the only time I bring up my weight loss is when I get carded. I was 100 pounds heavier when I had my license pic taken and I've lost my physical license and they wouldn't retake my picture for my duplicate. I have been able to get in the joke "I knew I had to do something about my weight when I ate my wallet"

I have had people seriously question if it's me...

justal313

I am wary of any conversation that starts with "Have you noticed anything?"

It feels like a test.

Yes! Hate getting that question.