confessional thread
ermengarde22
Posts: 2,116 Member
confess your sins
say it plain or innuendo is fine, no judgement allowed ♥️
say it plain or innuendo is fine, no judgement allowed ♥️
3
Replies
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im the one hoarding all the TP and cough medicine sorry guys7
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i got sent home from school in second grade for telling a racist joke7
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i took a vacation to china last december and convinced this random old dude to eat a bat it was pretty hilarious haha8
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A long time ago, I was a traveling salesman. Door-to-door, you know the type, the kinda guy who would try to worm his way into your living room because once I got you to let me in we both knew I'd be there long enough that you'd feel bad for *me* and offer me something to drink, maybe even something to eat.
I'm not going to tell you what I sold, because it's not important for this story.
So anyway, I approach this house--looked like a standard middle-income, red-brick kinda place in a suburb of a large town. Again, not gonna say which town because it's not important for this story.
I tried to ring the doorbell, but I didn't hear anything, and that's odd--you know how the doorbell is supposed to be for the people in the house, but you can always hear it from outside? I rang it a few times, but nobody answered, so I knocked, hard and long. It was hot, I was thirsty. You know how that is, right?
So this lady answers the door and I *know* I've seen her somewhere before. I tuck that aside and dive into my spiel, maybe even a little pushier than normal because it IS hot and I can feel the air conditioning pouring through the cracked-front-door and I know it's gonna be so much cooler in there.
She looks hesitant, but I pour on the charm, and she finally invites me in to demo this product that I can't say the name of (don't worry, it's not important for this story).
I get inside and realize that this is some sort of meeting. There are people sitting around her living room, sitting on the couches and loveseat, someone had pulled the bench out from the piano, and it looked like a few people were on kitchen chairs.
Turns out, they're having a prayer meeting.
"Tell us your sins," this dude asks, seated just to my left. I felt like there was a spotlight on me. I can't remember the last time I've felt so vulnerable.
"Well," I stammered, wracking my brain. You know how it is--when you're suddenly on the spot, you can't think of answers to even the simplest questions. "I guess my biggest confessions would be that I talk too much, and I lie a lot."10 -
i always look in the medicine cabinet at other peoples houses9
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I confess that if the gf doesn't stop it with the murder stuff I'm gonna break the television.4
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i asked her about her fitness goals but i didnt really care about her fitness goals7
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joining a cult is appealing to me bc of the structure and family bonding and dominate guy in charge9
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I faked it the other day because I looked at the time and my show was starting.11
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I shared the nudes with my friends.6
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When I was in 3rd grade my mom worked as an aide for another teacher - we had dinner at her house one night and I stole all her sons gi joes - I told myself it was ok cause I was poor and his parents would buy him new ones anyway. Maybe I was just an *kitten* hole 🤔6
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Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz wrote: »A long time ago, I was a traveling salesman. Door-to-door, you know the type, the kinda guy who would try to worm his way into your living room because once I got you to let me in we both knew I'd be there long enough that you'd feel bad for *me* and offer me something to drink, maybe even something to eat.
I'm not going to tell you what I sold, because it's not important for this story.
So anyway, I approach this house--looked like a standard middle-income, red-brick kinda place in a suburb of a large town. Again, not gonna say which town because it's not important for this story.
I tried to ring the doorbell, but I didn't hear anything, and that's odd--you know how the doorbell is supposed to be for the people in the house, but you can always hear it from outside? I rang it a few times, but nobody answered, so I knocked, hard and long. It was hot, I was thirsty. You know how that is, right?
So this lady answers the door and I *know* I've seen her somewhere before. I tuck that aside and dive into my spiel, maybe even a little pushier than normal because it IS hot and I can feel the air conditioning pouring through the cracked-front-door and I know it's gonna be so much cooler in there.
She looks hesitant, but I pour on the charm, and she finally invites me in to demo this product that I can't say the name of (don't worry, it's not important for this story).
I get inside and realize that this is some sort of meeting. There are people sitting around her living room, sitting on the couches and loveseat, someone had pulled the bench out from the piano, and it looked like a few people were on kitchen chairs.
Turns out, they're having a prayer meeting.
"Tell us your sins," this dude asks, seated just to my left. I felt like there was a spotlight on me. I can't remember the last time I've felt so vulnerable.
"Well," I stammered, wracking my brain. You know how it is--when you're suddenly on the spot, you can't think of answers to even the simplest questions. "I guess my biggest confessions would be that I talk too much, and I lie a lot."
I confess that I was realllyyy hoping for another ending to this story!! You’re a great story teller and I was hooked but I think I’ve seen too many salesman movies and once they let you in the door they’re either going to peel your skin off or something else more pleasant 😉
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sweet_ermengarde wrote: »i always look in the medicine cabinet at other peoples houses
Beware the random medicine cabinet that's packed with ping pong balls.7 -
Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »I shared the nudes with my friends.
1 -
Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz wrote: »A long time ago, I was a traveling salesman. Door-to-door, you know the type, the kinda guy who would try to worm his way into your living room because once I got you to let me in we both knew I'd be there long enough that you'd feel bad for *me* and offer me something to drink, maybe even something to eat.
I'm not going to tell you what I sold, because it's not important for this story.
So anyway, I approach this house--looked like a standard middle-income, red-brick kinda place in a suburb of a large town. Again, not gonna say which town because it's not important for this story.
I tried to ring the doorbell, but I didn't hear anything, and that's odd--you know how the doorbell is supposed to be for the people in the house, but you can always hear it from outside? I rang it a few times, but nobody answered, so I knocked, hard and long. It was hot, I was thirsty. You know how that is, right?
So this lady answers the door and I *know* I've seen her somewhere before. I tuck that aside and dive into my spiel, maybe even a little pushier than normal because it IS hot and I can feel the air conditioning pouring through the cracked-front-door and I know it's gonna be so much cooler in there.
She looks hesitant, but I pour on the charm, and she finally invites me in to demo this product that I can't say the name of (don't worry, it's not important for this story).
I get inside and realize that this is some sort of meeting. There are people sitting around her living room, sitting on the couches and loveseat, someone had pulled the bench out from the piano, and it looked like a few people were on kitchen chairs.
Turns out, they're having a prayer meeting.
"Tell us your sins," this dude asks, seated just to my left. I felt like there was a spotlight on me. I can't remember the last time I've felt so vulnerable.
"Well," I stammered, wracking my brain. You know how it is--when you're suddenly on the spot, you can't think of answers to even the simplest questions. "I guess my biggest confessions would be that I talk too much, and I lie a lot."
I confess that I was realllyyy hoping for another ending to this story!! You’re a great story teller and I was hooked but I think I’ve seen too many salesman movies and once they let you in the door they’re either going to peel your skin off or something else more pleasant 😉
Forum rules and all that2 -
Kashmir_314_ wrote: »This one time at band ca...nvm
What instrument did you play 🤔🤔 asking for a friend1 -
one time i really wanted the city to do this one park design but they opened up to public opinion with online vote so i got vpn and voted like a bajillion times6
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One time I poured 5 bottles of dish soap in a public water fountain down town and it was in the newspaper. I guess they didn't have much news to share that week.6
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Miss_Chiev0us wrote: »I shared the nudes with my friends.
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That time with her dad...6
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once me and a friend were getting a pop from a vending machine - we got the pop and our money back so we tried again ... and well - we emptied that vending machine that night - even the diet and neither of us drank diet -3
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That time I took the batteries out of my kids toys because they died in mine.11
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i wrote fake letters to advice columnists in magazines and papers and on advice forums for a long time and got published in best-of-the-year lists for a bunch of em
also there is a good size group of people that does that, everywhere and its kinda competitive7 -
Sometimes I ate the food that mom said not to eat and just let my brother take the fall.3
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sweet_ermengarde wrote: »i wrote fake letters to advice columnists in magazines and papers and on advice forums for a long time and got published in best-of-the-year lists for a bunch of em
also there is a good size group of people that does that, everywhere and its kinda competitive
Every now and again and more often than not, you remind me how much I love you. This is nothing less than amazing 😭3 -
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sweet_ermengarde wrote: »i wrote fake letters to advice columnists in magazines and papers and on advice forums for a long time and got published in best-of-the-year lists for a bunch of em
also there is a good size group of people that does that, everywhere and its kinda competitive
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