I will swipe past you or like/message you on this dating app if you________

JessBbody
JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
edited November 2020 in Chit-Chat
Don't have a clear, unfuzzy, unfiltered shot of your face and body.

Have a bunch of photos meticulously staged to make it appear that you are rich and successful and have an exciting, action-packed life.

Your ideal date is 420 chillin' at home.

Just to get us started.

Edited: I wanted to include the positive stuff too!

I will like you if you have a witty sense of humor.
Β«1

Replies

  • Yoshiboobs
    Yoshiboobs Posts: 1,090 Member
    Don't have a clear, unfuzzy, unfiltered shot of your face and body.

    Have a bunch of photos meticulously staged to make it appear that you are rich and successful and have an exciting, action-packed life.

    Your ideal date is 420 chillin' at home.

    Just to get us started.

    I'm out
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    If you look like Franklin the turtle
    If you express a political view I oppose that's important to me
    Group shots with your friends and I don't know which one is you
    'sapiosexual'
    Holding a fish or dead dear
    Religious
    Getting wasted is your only past time
    Pictures with women that obviously aren't your mom

    Glad I don't have to deal with dating apps rn. πŸ˜‚ The flashbacks 🀯

    I gotta ask: Why the beef against "sapiosexuals"? Something about the word itself or do you really not like people who value intelligence as a desirable attribute?

    P.S. Not attacking you; genuinely curious!
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    If you look like Franklin the turtle
    If you express a political view I oppose that's important to me
    Group shots with your friends and I don't know which one is you
    'sapiosexual'
    Holding a fish or dead dear
    Religious
    Getting wasted is your only past time
    Pictures with women that obviously aren't your mom

    Glad I don't have to deal with dating apps rn. πŸ˜‚ The flashbacks 🀯

    I gotta ask: Why the beef against "sapiosexuals"? Something about the word itself or do you really not like people who value intelligence as a desirable attribute?

    P.S. Not attacking you; genuinely curious!

    It's not even about the actual meaning of the word it's about the people who use it. I enjoy intelligence too but it feels pretentious, feels like a competition, feels predictable. I've also never had an interesting conversation with someone who used it. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

    This makes 100% sense to me. Thanks for responding! I think I've only ever run across one person who used the term in person and I don't use dating apps, so haven't run across it "in the wild" on a profile. :lol:
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,744 Member
    edited November 2020
    Left:
    * No text
    * Text is basically whining about not having any luck on the app
    * "my kids are my priority" or "no games" - this goes without saying
    * pretentious about almost anything
    * is looking for a camping buddy
    * shirtless photo
    * Isn't age appropriate for me

    Right:
    * slightly goofy text and/or photos
    * handsome in an unconventional way
    * reads
    * wide ranging taste in music
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    If you look like Franklin the turtle
    If you express a political view I oppose that's important to me
    Group shots with your friends and I don't know which one is you
    'sapiosexual'
    Holding a fish or dead dear
    Religious
    Getting wasted is your only past time
    Pictures with women that obviously aren't your mom

    Glad I don't have to deal with dating apps rn. πŸ˜‚ The flashbacks 🀯

    I gotta ask: Why the beef against "sapiosexuals"? Something about the word itself or do you really not like people who value intelligence as a desirable attribute?

    P.S. Not attacking you; genuinely curious!

    It's not even about the actual meaning of the word it's about the people who use it. I enjoy intelligence too but it feels pretentious, feels like a competition, feels predictable. I've also never had an interesting conversation with someone who used it. πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

    Phew, never heard of the term so I'm safe.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    there needs to be a bucket of fried chicken somewhere in their profile pic.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Pose in front of your "hot car." I don't like competition.

    The "hot car" they probably don't even own and just took a shot in front of a car dealership or someone they know who actually owns one. :D
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    "must be over 6 feet"
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Pose in front of your "hot car." I don't like competition.

    what if it's a food truck instead of a hot car ?

    250_dsc_0559.jpg
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    I remember when I was doing online dating I would ignore those with unclear pics, or no body pic, if they wrote nothing in their bio, or if they say they don’t want anything serious.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    Right hot, left not πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™‚οΈ...
    Everything else is just interesting πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™‚οΈ
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    no artsy black and white pics of their favorite animal

    How bout bananas? 😏0oaryq4qtwe0.jpg

    Right 😏
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    Let's play the "how long can I keep posting stuff like this before I get put in MFP jail" game.

    f7b1b9a0df0738ea7aba7a1a3283d0a4.jpg
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    99e23e69c14ec25ced82403921b03bfd.png
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    edited November 2020
    Holding a fish or dead dear

    That probably eliminates 99% of the guys here. ETA: "here" as in my neck of the woods, not MFP

    I'd say the other 1% eliminate themselves with (empty profile) "I'm an open book, ask me anything" or bitter rants about their exes and how they don't want another one like that.... but obviously there's a lot of overlap.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    iMago wrote: Β»
    "don't introduce me to a vibe you can't maintain πŸ’πŸΌπŸ’…πŸ»"

    What does that even mean?

    ?u=https%3A%2F%2F64.media.tumblr.com%2Fb5803cac21cca00788f61148c1f82388%2Ftumblr_inline_pi48khh7JO1vaxwiv_540.gif&f=1&nofb=1
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    Depends if it's after midnight and I'm bored.
  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    no artsy black and white pics of their favorite animal

    How bout bananas? 😏0oaryq4qtwe0.jpg

    pm6837885ivi.gif
  • ermengarde22
    ermengarde22 Posts: 2,116 Member
    iMago wrote: Β»
    "don't introduce me to a vibe you can't maintain πŸ’πŸΌπŸ’…πŸ»"

    hey that’s my line! 😑
  • JessBbody
    JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
    iMago wrote: Β»
    "don't introduce me to a vibe you can't maintain πŸ’πŸΌπŸ’…πŸ»"

    Blech.

    Have you actually heard this said or read this?

    The gall.

  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    edited November 2020
    If I joined Tinder as a social experiment, how inflated or deflated do you think my ego would get? If I wrote up a witty and short profile and followed the advice here, would it prove that men will flock to the DMs of any and all available girls or would my self-esteem be crushed like a pancake getting steamrollered on Neptune? :lol:

    funny-tinder-profile-cat-face.jpg

    Don't mind me, I have weird shower thoughts from time to time!