How do you regain your motivation when life stress is destroying it

Falconscoach

So how do you do it? How do you regain the motivation that got you going every day when life stress and anxiety start snowballing on you? This last few weeks I'm finding my drive to keep up what got me to a great place has been waning. I haven't slipped too badly yet, I've gained about 5 lbs back, but I can't seem to get back the motivation. Work is by far the major contributor to this. I've had to cut several people due to COVID driven decline. I'm working crazy hours now instead of a fixed schedule. I can't sleep as my mind won't stop racing from stress and anxiety. Has anybody else been in this situation and how did you snap yourself out of it?

rosebarnalice

I hadn't logged for a good while before COVID, but after shutown I gained 20 lbs in the first couple of months because of stress eating.

I hadn't logged for a while before shutdown. When I decided to start logging again in June, I surprised myself by discovering that it was actually a great relief from my stress. Returning to good eating habits and honest logging gave me a sense of control in a very unstable time. I've lost almost 39 lbs since June, and continue to find logging and eating well as a great source comfort and peace.

I don't know really how telling that is supposed to help you, but maybe thinking about this part of your life as a source of self-care might help :-)

AnnPT77

Let's just preface this by saying I don't have anything like your stressors, anymore.

Even so, I don't/can't rely on motivation, because that's just not my strong suit. Habits work better for me. Some folks here think in terms of the minimum habits they can sustain, to keep making progress (or at least avoid slipping backwards) when life gets complicated.

Can you rely on some repetitive cookie-cutter eating strategies (cycle of same/similar meals), for example, that you know will give you around the right calorie level for slight loss or even maintenance? (Getting plenty of fruits and veggies in there in easy forms could be good: Some micronutrients help counter stress effects. Apples, oranges, baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, etc.?)

One thing I'm pretty sure of: If the problem is stress, the solution 100% isn't food. The solution is better stress management.

Some amount of exercise perhaps can help. (Maybe mild exercise, so as not to add physical stress, maybe some short walks in outdoor air & light at intervals through the day, if you can fit them in? Or, conversely, some people find very, very short but super intense exercise to be a stress-buster, like exercise bike or similar with maybe a 3-5 minute warmup, a few reps (3-8, say) of 20" max effort 10" easy effort, 5 minutes cool down - if your current fitness level allows that without it being excessively punitive).

Consider meditation (there are apps for that now, it's not a woo-woo mystical thing, just a way to relax the body). If you're a person of faith, maybe prayer. Some people like journaling, even 5 minutes in the morning scribbling whatever runs through your head and out to your fingers, or simply writing down every day 3 things you're grateful for. If you have access, maybe warm bath, hot tub, steam room, sauna sort of thing?

I've been told (by my employer's counseling referral service, i.e., professionals) that there are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) interventions that are very effective for "racing brain" insomnia. (Haven't tried it, because I have a different type of insomnia, but did benefit from a credentialed psychologist for hypnotherapy for my insomnia type). These days, phone or telehealth consultations are available, and may be easier to fit in.

Clearly, you're going through a lot. You can still make progress, or at least hold the line, but you'll need to scale your expectations to the moment, and take your own personality/inclinations/strengths/limitations into account to keep it as easy as possible.

Don't be too hard on yourself: You're facing a lot. You can get through this, even if you find you need to take your foot off the accelerator for a while. Any healthy interventions you can still manage to accomplish, will help you get through.

Wishing you a calmer path ahead, in terms of external stress triggers!

LisaGetsMoving

~I'm trying to keep my eye on the long range vision rather than the immediate here and now.
~I dropped all social media except this community. I limit my consumption of the news to no more than 30 minutes at most.
~I walk and walk and walk (listening to good music or podcasts).
~I take a few minutes each evening to meditate on how grateful I am to have a home, food, and my health.
~After losing both my 14 yr old dog and 19 yr old cat last summer, I adopted some *supposedly* feral barn cats that now curl up with me and it's very relaxing to pet and listen to them purr (now that they know I am a friend).

Can't say that all the stress of living in these crazy times has been alleviated, but I do feel better since adopting these measures. I end up having a really bad day if I have a sleepless night, so I try and get up early and watch the sunrise and go to bed by 10 p.m. I hope you can find some peace.

Matty_Bowman

All of this speaks directly to me! I wake up at 60% stressed instead of 10% stressed and that doesn’t leave a lot of room before it’s overwhelming. Great advice on this thread!

963Nitro

#1 thing to do throughout this stress, is to take care of yourself.

You may work long hours now, sleep less, no time to exercise, and are in some stressful conversations which I agree isn't easy. It's hard. Focus on what you can control. Your nutrition.

This is the place to do it, this is the one thing you can control.

Good luck to you! Stay the course and don't give up. Just remember that even "online strangers" are indeed rooting for you. You can do this.

GrizzledSquirrel

Great advice from @rosebarnalice - try not to look at getting healthier as something that will add to your stress but something that helps to alleviate it.

Then - just do it. Anything. Motivation will come later. I started with adjustments to my diet and then started back with walking, setting achievable targets. Once started, it is easier as you don’t want to break a good run. However, it took me weeks to build up to this. I know how it feels when your reserves are rock bottom. But you are amazing - I know you will discover more reserves, if you dig deep - and you’ll be so proud when you do.

Importantly, in the meantime - know that you are not alone. These are extraordinary and awful times, weighing upon all of us in ways we’re not even aware of yet. Do what you can and forgive yourself where you fall short. Try and maintain your “real” social connections (even if via video call or just a phonecall) - with family and good friends. Talk things through, laugh, don’t be afraid to share anxieties - and remember that those connections are what really matter in life. It might help to lift some of that overwhelming stress you are feeling about work, health and motivation.

This too shall pass.

x_stephisaur_x

I spoke to a therapist.

I was actually speaking to her about something different (dealing with grief) but during our chats she helped me realise that the things I had stopped doing (eating well, exercising) were making the stress at work seem worse.

One of my colleagues tested positive last week, having been in the office up until that point, which caused major panic and disruption while we tried to sort that out (my job) and I was so tempted to dive headfirst into the biscuit barrel, but instead I went for a really long walk. It sorted my head out so much better than stress eating (although I did some of that too!) that the next day, I went for a run.

Each day since then, I've tried a little bit harder and I can feel my motivation coming back. I ran this morning, even though I had a million reasons not to.

Baby steps as above, this too shall pass and we're all in this together.

elisa123gal

Most of us did this during COVID..and we are kicking ourselves and evaluating our behaviors. Why oh why! do we do this! Me included.

At least you are aware, you want to do something about it.. and you have measured your weight gain at five pounds.. which isn't really that bad. Many of us stick our heads in the sand and ..boom 20 or 30 pounds heavier.

In looking back... I realize it was that I allowed foods in my home I typically never ever ever have in my house. I somehow allowed myself to stray from my eating habits. I also didn't log onto here to keep it real. I put my stress center stage.

---

So if I were you? .. I'd drop everything go grocery shopping..get your healthy food and meal prep and clear any junk food out of your home.

Carve out time to meal prep and to pack meals you can eat at your home desk...and make time for an at home or outside exercise routine.

Don't blame yourself for the jobs you had to cut during this time..don't punish yourself..it isn't your fault.

Come here for support.

sportygal1971

Mental wellness is just as important in weight loss. Cortisol levels spike when stressed and can keep on weight. The state of country definitely makes you go ape crazy.
I have been doing a bible study to help. Being spiritual has really helped me get support as I have no family other than my cats. I focus on what I'm grateful for.
Breathing exercises, reading scripture or inspiring stories might help. I'm not going to judge or condemn you if you don't read the bible, I'm just saying it helps me when it feels like the world is imploding around me. I'm flawed, a sinner, but do what I can to toe the line.
I hope you find the comfort you need. In a span of a few years I lost my parents, had 4 injuries, 2 car accidents, lost job, moved, then broke leg & then covid hit. My faith helped me through and I hope you can find strength to comfort you.
God Bless

Trish1c

What you eat is among the few things you can control. When it's all spinning out of control, I focus on that.

(It has its downsides because I am anorexic & control not just weight / not eating is part of that)

Rocknut53

@AnnPT77 I'm not the OP, but reading your post may just be the salvation I need right now. My husband passed away in October and I've been in a downward spiral ever since, eating to dull the pain, not exercising like I know I need to, not focusing on my needs. I am going to try and read your post every day to inspire me to get back on track. Thank you!

MidlifeCrisisFitness

The issue is about control.
Or more directly, the fallacy that you can control what happens around you. You can't. So don't worry about it.

What you can control is your personal outlook, your physical activity and your lifestyle. Make healthy choices where you can and don't stress the things that happen that you can't control.

Be honest with yourself regarding what is controllable.

AnnPT77

Rocknut53 wrote: »

@AnnPT77 I'm not the OP, but reading your post may just be the salvation I need right now. My husband passed away in October and I've been in a downward spiral ever since, eating to dull the pain, not exercising like I know I need to, not focusing on my needs. I am going to try and read your post every day to inspire me to get back on track. Thank you!

@Rocknut53, with apologies to the OP for further digression, I'm resonating with sympathy and empathy waves over here. If I could beam strength at you from distance, I would. I was widowed young(ish), at 42 (22+ years ago). The numbness. The effort to break through to a new normal life. You're taking the right steps. There can be a new and happy life out there, I promise. It's OK to fake it a little until you get there; it may even help. Behavior can lead feelings, not just the other way around. I'm cheering for you. Virtual hugs! Friend/PM me if I can help at all.