How do you know you’re setting an unrealistic goal?
kbaby2020
Posts: 63 Member
I had my first baby back in March 2020 and was around 128 pre-pregnancy. I got down to 126 before becoming pregnant again (baby 2 is due July!) but I was trying to get down to 113-115 lbs.
I’m currently sitting at 132-133 at 16 weeks. My goal is still to get down to 113-115 after this second baby and I was wondering how realistic that seems? I haven’t been in that weight range for a long time.
The last time I was in the 100-teens, I was about 118 lbs and wasn’t as lean as I would have liked to be so that’s why I’ve picked a weight a bit lower.
Is setting a goal like this unrealistic?
I’m currently sitting at 132-133 at 16 weeks. My goal is still to get down to 113-115 after this second baby and I was wondering how realistic that seems? I haven’t been in that weight range for a long time.
The last time I was in the 100-teens, I was about 118 lbs and wasn’t as lean as I would have liked to be so that’s why I’ve picked a weight a bit lower.
Is setting a goal like this unrealistic?
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Replies
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Whether it's realistic or not may depend on your timeline expectations. If you're expecting to see 113 6 weeks after Baby2, then you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. But if you're going to give yourself enough time to get accustomed to your new life and be be kind to yourself, then anything is possible, right? :-)
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rosebarnalice wrote: »Whether it's realistic or not may depend on your timeline expectations. If you're expecting to see 113 6 weeks after Baby2, then you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. But if you're going to give yourself enough time to get accustomed to your new life and be be kind to yourself, then anything is possible, right? :-)
Haha I had those expectations after the first baby but I’m not expecting that this time around 😂 I’m hoping to get to that weight around 7-8 months postpartum if I don’t gain more than 30-35 lbs 🤷🏼♀️ I should have mentioned that too - like is that a realistic timeline?
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How tall are you?5
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Redordeadhead wrote: »How tall are you?
I’m 5”2!1 -
It's do-able but possibly not in 7-8 months. I'm a fraction shorter and weigh less than that. It was slow going though - it took me two years to go from 150lb to 114lb, although I've dropped a bit further since I reached my initial goal.
It's really not recommended to eat less than 1200 calories a day (and that's 1200 net calories, calculated as being what you eat less what you burn through exercise). At 5'2", your sedentary maintenance number is only around 1450, so a 250 calorie deficit will see you losing at 0.5lb a week initially - but the deficit will get smaller as you lose weight, and therefore your weight loss also slows.
Naturally, with a baby (and another child), you won't be sedentary and would therefore have a higher maintenance number so could have a bigger deficit, but you don't want to be under-eating when you need energy for your children. It's far better to go slowly and have enough energy.6 -
As a woman who has had 2 babies, I'm going to say that the weight itself may be possible but there may well be body changes that last beyond the pregnancy that makes you not... let's say 'like the way you look' at that lower weight. So be willing to adapt and adjust8
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wunderkindking wrote: »As a woman who has had 2 babies, I'm going to say that the weight itself may be possible but there may well be body changes that last beyond the pregnancy that makes you not... let's say 'like the way you look' at that lower weight. So be willing to adapt and adjust
I’m definitely willing to adapt and adjust.
My goal weight after my first baby was 118. But for a good 2-3 months, I sat between 124-125 and I felt comfortable at that weight and my body looked overall okay. My main goal of going into the teens is to reach a higher level of leanness. I’ve hovered between 23-24% for a long time and I’d like to get to 18-19 if I could.
I already have the saggy skin and stretch marks that will become even more prominent, I’m sure, after this second baby haha.
A part of me though looks at my mom as an example, who I resemble a lot in build and height and obviously share genetics and she is around 115 lbs and looks great! And that’s after 3 babies
Again, all of this is just a goal and I’m not mad if it changes. But I’m just hoping that if it’s a goal that attainable and I like the way I look, it can be a goal I reach 🤷🏼♀️4 -
I think it's unrealistic if it feels difficult or even uncomfortable to maintain the goal. If you feel like all your energy is focused on reaching and maintaining that goal, then it may be unrealistic. It's kind of like a cost-benefit analysis. There will be some trade-offs you'll need to make long term to maintain the lighter goal , but will it truly be worth it to you in terms of overall happiness and health? That's how I ft about it, anyway.
I actually made the decision once COVID started to see if I could get to a lower weight, even though I wasn't technically overweight. I lost about 35 lbs after my 2nd child back in 2012. I always had this kind of "dream weight" of about 8 pounds less than I was..maybe about 5-6 pounds more than when I was at my lightest in college. I was pretty comfortable at my current weight, but wanted to see if I could actually do it, especially with the extra time.
I knew that if I wanted to achieve this "dream weight" (143 at 5'8 and have always been a "bigger-boned person), I'd have to do it slowly and without feeling like I was making a lot of sacrifice. I'm 44, so not that easy at it was 20 or even 10 years ago, but I also had been strength training for awhile so hoping for an increased metabolism due to that. I was able to achieve my dream weight in a period of about 5 months, and have kept if off so far. Part of my problem, I think, was even believing I could do it. I mean, it's not a huge change, but I've gone down at least a pant size.
I think it really just depends on your own factors and what you've got going on, too.3 -
I'm not sure any specific weight (that's in a healthy range for you**) is an unrealistic goal. I wouldn't set a timeline, though. Process goals - focusing more on the habits you build that will create gradual weight loss - may be a better idea, in the sense that you control what you do, but don't necessarily fully control the outcomes.
** You doctor would be a good person to ask about what's a healthy range for you, if there's any question . . . not us random strangers on the internet! 😉
As far as the age side of it, IMO, not necessarily a factor. Why do I say that? I'm at a weight I hadn't been since my 20s . . . which may not sound that startling to someone your age, but note that I'm 65 and spent 3+ *decades* at an obese weight until 2015.
You haven't mentioned (on this thread, that I noticed) how active you are, but a factor in appearance and BF% with aging is that body composition tends to shift toward reduced muscularity with age (if nothing is done to maintain/build muscle along the way). That will definitely create a different look at X body weight, but of course the BF% is what's making the difference. To put it another way, leanness isn't just about fat loss - probably you realize that.4 -
115 lbs at 5'2" certainly isn't unrealistic for a general person. Since you are a specific person, I can't tell if it's unrealistic for you. I absolutely agree with everyone above who said not to worry about a timeline. It's better to focus on making life long changes to your calorie intake and, ideally, your diet quality and fitness.
Will you be nursing? Because obviously that has a big impact on your weight loss plans.
I'm 5'3", 56 years old, and currently weigh 118 -119 lbs. I would be comfortable weighing as low as 115 lbs although I'm not particularly trying to get there. I believe the last time I weighed 115 was at age 18, although I didn't own a scale for a lot of years and was pretty thin at the end of 13 months of nursing my kiddo.1 -
Can't ever achieve it.-1
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I had my first baby back in March 2020 and was around 128 pre-pregnancy. I got down to 126 before becoming pregnant again (baby 2 is due July!) but I was trying to get down to 113-115 lbs.
I’m currently sitting at 132-133 at 16 weeks. My goal is still to get down to 113-115 after this second baby and I was wondering how realistic that seems? I haven’t been in that weight range for a long time.
The last time I was in the 100-teens, I was about 118 lbs and wasn’t as lean as I would have liked to be so that’s why I’ve picked a weight a bit lower.
Is setting a goal like this unrealistic?
5'2" and 115 pounds corresponds to a BMI of 21, which is right in the middle of the "healthy" range. So it's not unrealistic at all and should be doable over a reasonable period of time.Strudders67 wrote: »At 5'2", your sedentary maintenance number is only around 1450, so a 250 calorie deficit will see you losing at 0.5lb a week initially - but the deficit will get smaller as you lose weight, and therefore your weight loss also slows.
What is this based on? The MFP goals? Because daily maintenance calories vary a lot even between people of the same height/weight. And the MFP ones are, in my experience, wildly inaccurate.
I'm 5'4" and around 120 pounds, and MFP set my sedentary maintenance number at 1570. But I know from experience that my maintenance is actually around 2000-2100. In fact when I was dieting a few years ago, I lost a pound a week with a baseline (before exercise) calorie limit of 1600. But back then, MFP also set my sedentary maintenance calories at 1800, which is at least closer to my actual maintenance calories. So I don't know why they changed it to be (IMO) ridiculously low when it was reasonable before.
Also, according to this logic, if you're below a certain height, you will never be able to lose weight healthily, which just makes no sense because plenty of shorter people lose weight.1 -
@siberiantarragon Your TDEE was higher than you stated. This is why we follow weight trends and log accurately. So we can adjust our calories to meet our goals. I would love your surprise though 😊1
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bold_rabbit wrote: »115 lbs at 5'2" certainly isn't unrealistic for a general person. Since you are a specific person, I can't tell if it's unrealistic for you. I absolutely agree with everyone above who said not to worry about a timeline. It's better to focus on making life long changes to your calorie intake and, ideally, your diet quality and fitness.
Will you be nursing? Because obviously that has a big impact on your weight loss plans.
I'm 5'3", 56 years old, and currently weigh 118 -119 lbs. I would be comfortable weighing as low as 115 lbs although I'm not particularly trying to get there. I believe the last time I weighed 115 was at age 18, although I didn't own a scale for a lot of years and was pretty thin at the end of 13 months of nursing my kiddo.
After this baby, my husband and I are planning on not having another for a good two years or so haha so even if it takes 2 years to get to my goal, it’s my ideal pre-pregnancy weight before I have another baby.
I will be exclusively breastfeeding like I did with my first. Because of nursing with my first, I ended up losing 25 out of the 29 lbs within 3 months without changing my diet or exercising. So hopefully it will be semi similar with this one 🤷🏼♀️
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I'm not sure any specific weight (that's in a healthy range for you**) is an unrealistic goal. I wouldn't set a timeline, though. Process goals - focusing more on the habits you build that will create gradual weight loss - may be a better idea, in the sense that you control what you do, but don't necessarily fully control the outcomes.
** You doctor would be a good person to ask about what's a healthy range for you, if there's any question . . . not us random strangers on the internet! 😉
As far as the age side of it, IMO, not necessarily a factor. Why do I say that? I'm at a weight I hadn't been since my 20s . . . which may not sound that startling to someone your age, but note that I'm 65 and spent 3+ *decades* at an obese weight until 2015.
You haven't mentioned (on this thread, that I noticed) how active you are, but a factor in appearance and BF% with aging is that body composition tends to shift toward reduced muscularity with age (if nothing is done to maintain/build muscle along the way). That will definitely create a different look at X body weight, but of course the BF% is what's making the difference. To put it another way, leanness isn't just about fat loss - probably you realize that.
I workout about 2-3 times a week, though I’m hoping to increase to 4-5. Mainly weightlifting (light stuff at the moment since I’m pregnant) and when it’s nice out, sometimes 1-2 30 min walks.
My BF before both pregnancies was around 22-23.0 -
Please permit me to give you an older (58) woman’s perspective.
I am 5’7” and was 120-125 when I got married at 24.
When I finally buckled down and started to lose weight a couple of years ago, I merrily hit all my goals, bam bam bam. Where next? I got the bright idea,”Wouldn't it be a dandy idea to shoot for the weight I got married at?”
Makes sense right?
I got as low as 129.
Fortunately I have a very caring trainer who religiously takes progress photos. She’s gently talked to me in the past, but it didn’t sink in til she shared-without comment- one particular photo of me that scared the bejesus out of me. I call it the “Grandaddy Longlegs” photo.
I am currently back at 134 and plan to stay here.
Because of this post, I just marched upstairs and tried on my wedding dress. Fits like a glove.
All this is to say, goals should be flexible, your body certainly is. My body is not the same one it was 35 years ago, and most certainly not the one it was even two years ago. Don’t get “locked” in to a fantasy goal. It may be too much. Look at yourself with much honesty. It is HARD. At 10-15 pounds higher than my wedding day, I’m in better shape, and in the same clothing size, even though I may look in the mirror and still feel ninety pounds heavier. Get some outside input from someone you live and trust, who has your best interests at heart. My husband was afraid to talk to me. My kids are too far away to know how small I got. (Thanks, Covid.)
Nothing should be written in stone about this whole process. Your body will NOT be the same one it was pre children.
This is a vintage size 6 Jessica McClintock I bought for $25 on clearance and paid another $10 to have a tailor drastically cut down it down to fit because it swam on me.
Thanks for the opportunity. This has been a total head rush!!!
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msalicia07 wrote: »@siberiantarragon Your TDEE was higher than you stated. This is why we follow weight trends and log accurately. So we can adjust our calories to meet our goals. I would love your surprise though 😊
Yes, that was my point. The MFP estimates of TDEE do not always reflect reality. OP may have a TDEE of 1450, or it may be much higher. The only way to know is through trial and error.0 -
I'm not sure any specific weight (that's in a healthy range for you**) is an unrealistic goal. I wouldn't set a timeline, though. Process goals - focusing more on the habits you build that will create gradual weight loss - may be a better idea, in the sense that you control what you do, but don't necessarily fully control the outcomes.
** You doctor would be a good person to ask about what's a healthy range for you, if there's any question . . . not us random strangers on the internet! 😉
As far as the age side of it, IMO, not necessarily a factor. Why do I say that? I'm at a weight I hadn't been since my 20s . . . which may not sound that startling to someone your age, but note that I'm 65 and spent 3+ *decades* at an obese weight until 2015.
You haven't mentioned (on this thread, that I noticed) how active you are, but a factor in appearance and BF% with aging is that body composition tends to shift toward reduced muscularity with age (if nothing is done to maintain/build muscle along the way). That will definitely create a different look at X body weight, but of course the BF% is what's making the difference. To put it another way, leanness isn't just about fat loss - probably you realize that.
I workout about 2-3 times a week, though I’m hoping to increase to 4-5. Mainly weightlifting (light stuff at the moment since I’m pregnant) and when it’s nice out, sometimes 1-2 30 min walks.
My BF before both pregnancies was around 22-23.
That sounds really good. It takes surprisingly little stimulus (IMO) to maintain muscle mass at a reasonable level for a while, especially when younger, so I think you're being realistic. FWIW, I overshot my goal weight when losing (long story), briefly hit 116 at 5'5" (at age 60, BTW). That was indeed too thin for me, though just within the normal BMI range for my height, but you're 2" shorter, as well as younger.
Though I didn't stay there long - I wanted something around 120-125 - I didn't experience one of the other things that I've sometimes heard from people who lose to the low end of reasonable weight, a sort of snap-back of appetite/hunger hormones that can make it exceedingly difficult to stay at a low-ish weight for some. Not sure why - may've helped that I was losing weight very, very slowly in the last months. I wouldn't want to maintain that low a weight, but I suspect I could, with vigilance. (My BIA scale says I'm around 23-24% BF at about 125. Those are iffy in accuracy, but I think mid-to-low 20s is plausible based on my appearance.)
I think you'll be fine, if you go about the process sensibly. Best wishes for a thriving pregnancy and baby, and goals beyond!1
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