Less Alcohol - FEBRUARY 2021 - One Day At A Time
Replies
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tiptoethruthetulips wrote: »Day two no alcohol at home = tick.
I have an extra goal for the weekend seeing as there is covid safe food and drink indulge festivale in my home town for which I have a ticket for Friday, Saturday and Sunday...what was I thinking. Anyway my goal for the weekend, no more than two glasses of wine for each of Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday afternoon, I will be drinking plenty of water instead. https://indulgebyfestivale.com.au/
I looked up this link. Sounds like a nice event. We could all use some close to normal activities by now. Have a great "mindful" time. Keep your goals fresh in your head during those three days. 😊5 -
@Tesha231 wow a full month and a half AF. I think since being on here my longest was around 42(?) So I know what a fantastic feeling it is.
Your drinking back ground story too sounds familiar to me( minus the children) It was fun way back when but now we have think about how all those fun times have damaged us. Like so many other things in life I suppose that all come with consequences.6 -
globalhiker wrote: »Someone asked a very good question: How do you know you're an alcoholic? I am curious also!
In my readings I am picking up that this term is no longer used and now replaced with "Alcohol Use Disorder" (AUD).
Seems different countries and different counseling centers will use different criteria for evaluating whether or not one falls into this category and also different grading scales to determine the level of severity.
According to one test I took that was from a uk.gov site, I scored close to it but did not meet the criteria. I don't have any serious problems according to the test, never DUI, never hungover, no fights, never get "drunk" either. And most days I can stop at 2 drinks if I plan to but sometimes it's a real struggle and I don't like that.
Needless to say, so according to this one test I don't have AUD, but do I have a problem to fix? Absolutely.
I am in danger, if I continue, to get into that more serious alcohol use disorder zone.
I have achieved a very good level of alcohol tolerance (I can drink a lot and maintain composure and be very functional with no hangovers, etc, but this is still dangerously destroying my body).
I also feel that alcohol is robbing me of my natural ability to feel happy, so I want this fixed. And I don't want to be like the millions of people out there who continue drinking and just add on prescription anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs as a band-aid for the problems alcohol has done to their brains.
GOOD QUESTION and great information @globalhiker
I will raise my hand high and self evaluate that YES I was all that before setting myself in motion to change.
YES I ABUSED ALCOHOL ( alcoholic?, AUD?, over indulger?, drunk?) what ever lable they are giving it now.
Feels uplifting to say it out loud, not sugar coated.
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Had a glass of wine with dinner last night. The recipes tonight and tomorrow each call for a bit of wine, so we opened one bottle of white to cover both of them. I wasn't up for cooking, and I'm not sure what husband opened - dry riesling, maybe? - but it was a lot sweeter than I was in the mood for and I kind of regret wasting the calories on it and having a drink I didn't really enjoy when I could have been AF. Oh well. I might still have a drink tonight, but it won't be that.
2/1 - AF
2/2 - AF
2/3 - 2 Drinks
2/4 - 1 Drink
Plan going forward:
2/5 - 1 Drink
2/6 - 1-2 Drinks
2/7 - AF
Like others here, I've rolled the "am I an alcoholic?" question around in my brain a lot. And I decided that, FOR ME, the label doesn't matter. I have gone through phases of drinking where I'd probably qualify just from quantity alone. I'm not willing to give up alcohol for a year, or even a month, because the social stress would be far more detrimental to my life than my current path of moderate drinking. I don't ever have signs of physical dependency, one drink does not make me want 8 more, I don't drive drunk, I'm not spending more than I can afford on booze, I don't get sick, I don't do things I'm embarrassed by or regret the next day. I don't know where that would put me on a test, but I know that what I'm doing right now feels balanced and is something I want to maintain. If I reach a point where moderation is Just Not Working, I can acknowledge it then and try sobriety, but I'm feeling good right now.
Today is significant for me. One of my closest friends is getting married a year from today. I have a year to get back into a body I feel confident in: lose 40-45 lbs, rebuild some muscle, get proficient at walking in heels again..... Losing weight, focusing on my recovery, getting in quality workouts, and having clear skin are all going to be a lot easier if I'm limiting my drinking.6 -
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Another AF day under my belt
3 AF / 4 Days.
Feb Goal: 19 AF / 28 days10 -
Thank you @chocolate_owl @Lilylady3k @Fit_Happens_2021 @MissMay all of your comments are taken to heart. It does seem like a long run at getting to this point. It could have happened quicker IF I had put more thought sooner into cutting back.
No beer last night. And because we kept busier than normal at that time it was fairly easy.
I had mentioned long time ago I liked hot tea too. When we got back from our walk we had Yogi sweet tangerine positive energy tea. 😒 ok, that was good I told her, but I am not doing yoga next or have you give me a manicure. I still have to uphold my manly image.
Sunday during the superbowl is still up in the air.12 -
GOOD QUESTION and great information @globalhiker
I will raise my hand high and self evaluate that YES I was all that before setting myself in motion to change.
YES I ABUSED ALCOHOL ( alcoholic?, AUD?, over indulger?, drunk?) what ever lable they are giving it now.
Feels uplifting to say it out loud, not sugar coated.
YES I ABUSED ALCOHOL ( alcoholic?, AUD?, over indulger?, drunk?) what ever lable they are giving it now
I needed to read this sentence. It is true. Everyone processes alcohol in different ways. So no matter what they (the health care professionals) are calling it. If you dont like some thing that alcohol does to you and you keep doing it, it is abuse.
I would like to text this to my Mom.10 -
On a weekend away with the husband, it's a very heavy drinking culture here. But we are both remaining AF. Sorry I'm way behind on the thread. Not sure when I'll get caught up.8
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globalhiker wrote: »Day 4 AF done.....managing OK, poor sleep and feel like I have been on a plane for 24 hours straight and have jet lag. I am drinking lots of water and in the morning add electrolytes.
Today's plan is tricky....I am actually going to drive out to a liquor store (in the morning) given they have the Running Wild alcohol free beer that everyone is recommending and I see it won awards. I will also see if they have an alcohol free Cava/Champagne that is not sweet. I can't stomach the diet sodas anymore, the sweet taste is nauseating so I need something else, especially to have on hand for Superbowl Sunday which is a national "drinking" day in the U.S. it seems.
how about a sugar free flavored club soda style drink? up here in canada at Superstore, there's a cherry vanilla soda - no calorie - no artificial sweetener or regular sugar in it. i add some liquid stevia to it and i really enjoy it 8 -
Well MFP peeps, today is 4 out 4 in February and 5 days in a row AF.
DH asked me last night if we were going to have any alcohol this weekend. I said sure if you want some but I am not sure I do. So then he tells me if I am not going to drink neither is he!...shocker! But then it puts pressure on me to be the one to decide for him. I don't like that, it makes me feel guilty knowing he wants a few drinks and I don't want any. Suggestions on how to handle these feelings and it really is ok with me if he buys what he wants and drinks it. If I want/wanted a drink I will have one.
And the question, "am I an alcoholic?" As a number of you have responded, commented etc. This is a great discussion point. But I do think the one line that brought it in clear for me was from:
@MissMay
YES I ABUSED ALCOHOL ( alcoholic?, AUD?, over indulger?, drunk?) what ever label they are giving it now
I needed to read this sentence. It is true. Everyone processes alcohol in different ways. So no matter what they (the health care professionals) are calling it. If you don't like some thing that alcohol does to you and you keep doing it, it is abuse.
I think this hit the nail on the head. Well said9 -
I liked this so much from a post of mine last Fall that I am putting it here again.
Quick reference list of 11 tactics to drink less when you need to. Hope this is helpful . Copy and paste into your phones memo or note pad..
1) Put it in writing. Making a list of the reasons to cut back on your drinking — such as feeling healthier, sleeping better, or improving your relationships — can motivate you.
2)Set a drinking goal. Set a limit on how much you will drink. You should keep your drinking below the recommended guidelines: no more than one standard drink per day for women and for men ages 65 and older, and no more than two standard drinks per day for men under 65. These limits may be too high for people who have certain medical conditions or for some older adults. Your doctor can help you determine what's right for you.
3)Keep a diary of your drinking. For three to four weeks, keep track of every time you have a drink. Include information about what and how much you drank as well as where you were. Compare this to your goal. If you're having trouble sticking to your goal, discuss it with your doctor or another health professional.
4)Don't keep alcohol in your house. Having no alcohol at home can help limit your drinking.
5)Drink slowly. Sip your drink. Drink soda, water, or juice after having an alcoholic beverage. Never drink on an empty stomach.
6)Choose alcohol-free days. Decide not to drink a day or two each week. You may want to abstain for a week or a month to see how you feel physically and emotionally without alcohol in your life. Taking a break from alcohol can be a good way to start drinking less.
7)Watch for peer pressure. Practice ways to say no politely. You do not have to drink just because others are, and you shouldn't feel obligated to accept every drink you're offered. Stay away from people who encourage you to drink.
8)Keep busy. Take a walk, play sports, go out to eat, or catch a movie. When you're at home, pick up a new hobby or revisit an old one. Painting, board games, playing a musical instrument, woodworking — these and other activities are great alternatives to drinking.
9)Ask for support. Cutting down on your drinking may not always be easy. Let friends and family members know that you need their support. Your doctor, counselor, or therapist may also be able to offer help.
10)Guard against temptation. Steer clear of people and places that make you want to drink. If you associate drinking with certain events, such as holidays or vacations, develop a plan for managing them in advance. Monitor your feelings. When you're worried, lonely, or angry, you may be tempted to reach for a drink. Try to cultivate new, healthy ways to cope with stress.
11)Be persistent. Most people who successfully cut down or stop drinking altogether do so only after several attempts. You'll probably have setbacks, but don't let them keep you from reaching your long-term goal. There's really no final endpoint, as the process usually requires ongoing effort8 -
@brittgreenlikethecolor88 YOUR ON A ROLL. 👏3
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CryingBlue wrote: »On a weekend away with the husband, it's a very heavy drinking culture here. But we are both remaining AF. Sorry I'm way behind on the thread. Not sure when I'll get caught up.
Have fun!5 -
😒 ok, that was good I told her, but I am not doing yoga next or have you give me a manicure. I still have to uphold my manly image.
Ok that’s hilarious!!!! Cue Brad Paisley’s song, “I’m still a guy”.
https://youtu.be/-urVmgbjETQ 5 -
Went to dinner and wanted something different, besides my usual wine. I ordered a Cosmo, which I haven’t had in.... I don’t even know how long. The glass was pretty big, I’m going to guess 5 oz. so that counts as at least 2.5 standard drinks! I was hiccuping afterwards, which is my big giveaway that I’ve had too much. It was yummy and everything, and I did micro-sips to make it last through dinner. Should have stuck with wine!
Here’s good news, my DH is now starting to cut back on alcohol to try to lose some weight. Last night he had only two, tonight only one!
I learned from a nutritionist that because alcohol is a toxin, our bodies deal with getting rid of the toxin first. Meanwhile the food, carbs, fat etc we eat are just stored because our bodies are too busy dealing with the alcohol.6 -
2 glasses of wine which I planned. My sister joined us for dinner & movie. My sister and I shared a bottle of white which DH drank one glass before opening a red for himself. My sister and I decided to not open the 2nd white and stopped at 2 glasses each and watched the movie. DH later opened the 2nd white and had another glass after the red was gone. Challenging but I stuck with no more than 2 glasses for myself!8
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Lilylady3k wrote: »2 glasses of wine which I planned. My sister joined us for dinner & movie. My sister and I shared a bottle of white which DH drank one glass before opening a red for himself. My sister and I decided to not open the 2nd white and stopped at 2 glasses each and watched the movie. DH later opened the 2nd white and had another glass after the red was gone. Challenging but I stuck with no more than 2 glasses for myself!
That’s fantastic! It’s challenging not opening that next bottle, or pouring that next glass. You did it! Doesn’t if feel amazing?5 -
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Lilylady3k wrote: »2 glasses of wine which I planned. My sister joined us for dinner & movie. My sister and I shared a bottle of white which DH drank one glass before opening a red for himself. My sister and I decided to not open the 2nd white and stopped at 2 glasses each and watched the movie. DH later opened the 2nd white and had another glass after the red was gone. Challenging but I stuck with no more than 2 glasses for myself!
Super goal setting control @Lilylady3k. 😉5 -
@Womona what a wonderful treat to have your husband cutting back also. It will be easier to get through situations with alcohol that may have been tricky in the past. Congrats to you both. And, I have not had a cosmo like FOREVER I remember them as looking very elegant.
My planned drink day is today. Late afternoon. First drink this month and or in a few weeks, so it has to be worth the taste.
SIP it, don't SLURP it. I really need this reminder on a t-shirt. I have always drank all beverages quickly, even hot black coffee. I must have been in some sort of wolf pack in an earlier life where I needed to guzzle water and gulp down food so no other pack members took it. (That is the story I am going with)
Happy successful weekend to all.
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-45 C here today and for the next few days. i'm so tempted to get my SO to pick something up *if the car starts* today. winter is brutal to get through... i will try to stick out this day. haven't had anything since Jan 21. cross fingers9
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@Womona what a wonderful treat to have your husband cutting back also. It will be easier to get through situations with alcohol that may have been tricky in the past. Congrats to you both. And, I have not had a cosmo like FOREVER I remember them as looking very elegant.
My planned drink day is today. Late afternoon. First drink this month and or in a few weeks, so it has to be worth the taste.
SIP it, don't SLURP it. I really need this reminder on a t-shirt. I have always drank all beverages quickly, even hot black coffee. I must have been in some sort of wolf pack in an earlier life where I needed to guzzle water and gulp down food so no other pack members took it. (That is the story I am going with)
Happy successful weekend to all.
you and me both, wolf sister.
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OK, Day 5 AF done....no cravings! intermittent sleep but better than yesterday.
Did take 2 Olly stress gummies at 4pm then 2 Olly sleep gummies at 9pm. Next week I will stop the supplements.
The worst with physical discomfort is OVER!!
@lisamestiza2021 good idea about the flavored seltzers. I love Pellegrino for the mineral taste and will experiment with that and "Sodastream" drops sold in our US Target stores. This way I can design my own drinks. I have stevia and it's just OK, I don't love it, but I will try Agave drops instead.
Now I have to study how to mimic the flavors in a good italian Pinot Grigio 8 -
globalhiker wrote: »OK, Day 5 AF done....no cravings! intermittent sleep but better than yesterday.
Did take 2 Olly stress gummies at 4pm then 2 Olly sleep gummies at 9pm. Next week I will stop the supplements.
The worst with physical discomfort is OVER!!
@lisamestiza2021 good idea about the flavored seltzers. I love Pellegrino for the mineral taste and will experiment with that and "Sodastream" drops sold in our US Target stores. This way I can design my own drinks. I have stevia and it's just OK, I don't love it, but I will try Agave drops instead.
Now I have to study how to mimic the flavors in a good italian Pinot Grigio
if you're able to do that - please send me the science for pinot grigio *oh - and prosecco too*
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1 out of 15 glasses goal for Feb. And boy did I feel it! And enjoy it!
Had a difficult convo w/ DH telling him my new goals, how I plan to mitigate, etc. I was smart enough to have this conversation completely sober. He got upset, brought up the past, what he's had to deal with, how I've tried to moderate unsuccessfully before, why is this different, telling me I should quit, why do I want to drink, etc. (I answered that question with Who are you? My therapist, lol.) It's a valid question. I reminded him he said we could drink together occasionally, but I don't want to have to discuss and plan it and do it according to when he says it's ok. I said I am not my past. I am learning and doing the work. THAT'S what's different. I must do this on MY terms--not his. Not my therapist's. MINE. And so that's what I'm doing. If I fail, I will evaluate and mitigate. Even if I stick to 15 drinks/month, but I'm spending too much time thinking about it, or I'm wanting more, or I feel like crap the next day, then it's interfering with life and I will adjust.
I've realized that perhaps many of the things I thought were just "my" problem aren't just mine. It's just surfacing, because before I would not allow my mind to go there. I would use alcohol to put problems in a box. (And occasionally too much alcohol would make me shake that box in his face in a really ugly way which I never remember.) But then I'd go back to using alcohol to help me be "nice" and not talk (and often not even allow myself to recognize) issues.
So very thankful for this group. Even though I haven't had much opportunity to post and comment recently, I catch up with reading while I can and am so inspired by the insight and determination by everyone to do better. In their own way.
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Now the hard part.
With Dry January being over, I went to the store & bought a case of wine. I need to prove to myself I can resist temptation.
DH & I drank last night, which was planned. I was tipsy after 1 glass in part because we were drinking on an empty stomach. I did over do it. I drank about 3/4 of the bottle but hey at least I didn't drink the whole bottle! That's something. Baby steps, right?
Now I'm paying for it. I woke up hung over. It's been a long time since that happened & it's a lesson. I don't want to feel like this. I'm exhausted & drained. Not good.
Oddly all day yesterday I knew I was going to drink & I was uneasy. I worried what it was going to be like, how bad it was going to be. Now I know & hopefully this bad feeling will keep me on track.
It was nice to sit & chat with DH like we used to. We have to figure out ways to connect like that without booze.
Given how lousy I feel this morning, I don't think I will be indulging tonight, especially since I plan to have something while watching the Super Bowl. Oddly, I'm usually the one who doesn't drink during the game because I'm the designated driver. But if I start applying my bar rules -- one drink, one bottle of water, alternating -- at home I may just be OK.
I want to get to a point where I control my drinking & it doesn't control me.
The empty wine calories did put me over my goal but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
@mainelylisa That sounds like it was a tough discussion but good for you for having it.
@globalhiker congrats on 5 days!
@MissMay sipping & moderation are good. I was impressed with myself last night at how slowly I did drink. It's not a race.9 -
AF last night. I had to get behind the wheel of a car for 3 errands yesterday, and the last time involved sitting in traffic. Driving has always been a great way to flare my back up, and I guess I’m still healing (or surgery didn’t really work
). Anyway, had to take a painkiller, so no drinks for me.
2/1 - AF
2/2 - AF
2/3 - 2 Drinks
2/4 - 1 Drink
2/5 - AF
Husband made a super indulgent breakfast this morning, so I think I’m gonna be lucky to have calories left for dinner tonight, much less drinks...8 -
I learned from a nutritionist that because alcohol is a toxin, our bodies deal with getting rid of the toxin first. Meanwhile the food, carbs, fat etc we eat are just stored because our bodies are too busy dealing with the alcohol.
Yes, it is not so much the calories from drinks (although they count), it is that the fat burning furnace turns off completely as soon as alcohol is introduced.7
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