Tips on motivating yourself
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caseycanchola
Posts: 11 Member
Hi! I struggle on keeping a diet and motivating myself. I tend to give up after like a week and it is getting so annoying because I am just not happy with my weight at all. I gained about 60 pounds throughout 4 years, I used to work at Taco Bell which caused most of my weight gain and also when I had started birth control. I know you can still control your weight while being on birth control but it gets very hard because I feel like I have 0 type of motivation to keep going. Please help! Any tips?
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Replies
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Casey, I am a returning MFPer...first in 2011, then 2016, and now I am back. This site works...we can motivate ourselves by being accountable. The older I get, the more serious I get about my health. I feel sooo fortunate I have now "broken down". I am in osteoporosis...a condition of degrading of my bones, so going to take a drug called Fosomax. If I do not have side effect I will continue to take it! I am a grreat cheerleader, so if you log in everyday...I will cheer you on!
:) 1 -
I found I simply had to wait until the day I was motivated - and this took a few years to get to in my case but once I got there, I got there. I don't think there is a magic bullet, it is all down to you and how much you want this.
For me, that was nearly two years ago and while I have my tough days and I have even had a few off-days, motivation has never been an issue.
I want this. Do you?2 -
Motivation comes and goes. You NEED to change BEHAVIOR. Think about brushing your teeth. How much motivation to you really need? You just do it. Same with eating and exercise. Create a program you'll do, then do it at least 30 days in a row. After awhile it just becomes routine and you don't need much motivation. You just do it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
8 -
I started my health journey again on March 8, 2020. When Covid was diagnosed in my state. I had 4 risk factors that would result in a poor outcome if I were to contract Covid. I made a list of what I could control. What do you know, but both diet and exercise appeared on it. I started out at 223.4 pounds and could only walk halfway around the block. The heaviest weight that I could pick up was a 10 lb. dumbbell. I followed the MFP calorie plan and each day I strived for one more minute, one more step and one more rep. I gave myself two months to develop the diet and exercise habits. Even if I didn't feel like I was worth taking care of I followed the diet and exercised. You fake it 'til you make it. They just become habits and get easier. I have lost 75 lbs, 46 inches, and 7 pants sizes and 4 shirt sizes in a year by being consistent.
You can do this! I am an old lady of 57, a double transplant patient and have Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease and diabetic nerve damage along with high blood pressure and am missing an eye. Believe it or not, you will come to enjoy your habits as they will provide a sense of control and security. I relied on my routine heavily when my boyfriend of 9 years died of Covid in December.
Do this for yourself. You only get one body and you are worth taking care of. Change one habit at at a time for six weeks then change another. Take measurements and progress photos at each 30 days or 6 weeks. If you have an off day or meal pick yourself up and keep going. Your future yourself will thank you.7 -
Casey, I am a returning MFPer...first in 2011, then 2016, and now I am back. This site works...we can motivate ourselves by being accountable. The older I get, the more serious I get about my health. I feel sooo fortunate I have now "broken down". I am in osteoporosis...a condition of degrading of my bones, so going to take a drug called Fosomax. If I do not have side effect I will continue to take it! I am a grreat cheerleader, so if you log in everyday...I will cheer you on!:)
Thank you so much
I appreciate you! So far I have started small by going on hikes and staying on my calorie deficit. I started exactly 2 weeks ago today and so far I have lost 5 pounds! I know it is not much but you guys are motivating me to keep going because looking at the scale this morning made me so happy and hopefully I can keep it going this time! 1 -
I found I simply had to wait until the day I was motivated - and this took a few years to get to in my case but once I got there, I got there. I don't think there is a magic bullet, it is all down to you and how much you want this.
For me, that was nearly two years ago and while I have my tough days and I have even had a few off-days, motivation has never been an issue.
I want this. Do you?
I really do want this but, I legit give up so fast it is ridiculous. My boyfriend tries to motivate me so much but there are times where I need someone to really give me tough love so I can get it through my head that if I really want this, I need to keep going. So far I have lost 5 pounds and it has been motivating me to keep going so I can see more results. I know 5 pounds isn't much but it is has given me great motivation to keep going!0 -
Motivation comes and goes. You NEED to change BEHAVIOR. Think about brushing your teeth. How much motivation to you really need? You just do it. Same with eating and exercise. Create a program you'll do, then do it at least 30 days in a row. After awhile it just becomes routine and you don't need much motivation. You just do it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You are so right! I have never thought about it like that. That made it a little easier to keep going because I know if I keep going and see results, I will end up getting addicted to keep going to see more results. Thank you so much for your response. I appreciate you!0 -
What you also need to realize is that you can get all the encouragement, inspiration, etc. to do this, but unless YOU REALLY WANT TO, it doesn't really matter. You have to make the decision to really want this or it's just gonna a long battle.caseycanchola wrote: »I found I simply had to wait until the day I was motivated - and this took a few years to get to in my case but once I got there, I got there. I don't think there is a magic bullet, it is all down to you and how much you want this.
For me, that was nearly two years ago and while I have my tough days and I have even had a few off-days, motivation has never been an issue.
I want this. Do you?
I really do want this but, I legit give up so fast it is ridiculous. My boyfriend tries to motivate me so much but there are times where I need someone to really give me tough love so I can get it through my head that if I really want this, I need to keep going. So far I have lost 5 pounds and it has been motivating me to keep going so I can see more results. I know 5 pounds isn't much but it is has given me great motivation to keep going!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
2 -
I am not motivated. Motivation comes and goes, weight loss stops and sometimes reverses just due to, you know water and waste and hormones.
What I am is a creature of habit who takes the path of least resistance.
So, setting up my life to make the 'wrong' choices more difficult than the healthier one works. I put my running shoes on when I get up in the morning. I keep chips in preportioned ziplocks in the pantry upstairs with the canned food (meaning if i want them I have to hike up a flight of stairs to get them). I keep my candy, what of it there is, in the freezer - also upstairs and also frozen so I have to get it AND either eat slow because frozen or wait to thaw. I buy my groceries online so I'm not walking past impulse purchases and also where my previous purchases are across the bottom of my screen and it's easier to rebuy than find new, less healthy, things to eat.
If I relied on motivation I'd have quit 6 months ago.
If I relied on consistent results (not just daily but weekly or monthly) I'd have given up 4 times.
I've done neither.
I've leverged my fundamental laziness into habit changes to make what I'm doing now the easiest thing to do and that I can continue mindlessly forever.4 -
Beautyofdreams wrote: »I started my health journey again on March 8, 2020. When Covid was diagnosed in my state. I had 4 risk factors that would result in a poor outcome if I were to contract Covid. I made a list of what I could control. What do you know, but both diet and exercise appeared on it. I started out at 223.4 pounds and could only walk halfway around the block. The heaviest weight that I could pick up was a 10 lb. dumbbell. I followed the MFP calorie plan and each day I strived for one more minute, one more step and one more rep. I gave myself two months to develop the diet and exercise habits. Even if I didn't feel like I was worth taking care of I followed the diet and exercised. You fake it 'til you make it. They just become habits and get easier. I have lost 75 lbs, 46 inches, and 7 pants sizes and 4 shirt sizes in a year by being consistent.
You can do this! I am an old lady of 57, a double transplant patient and have Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease and diabetic nerve damage along with high blood pressure and am missing an eye. Believe it or not, you will come to enjoy your habits as they will provide a sense of control and security. I relied on my routine heavily when my boyfriend of 9 years died of Covid in December.
Do this for yourself. You only get one body and you are worth taking care of. Change one habit at at a time for six weeks then change another. Take measurements and progress photos at each 30 days or 6 weeks. If you have an off day or meal pick yourself up and keep going. Your future yourself will thank you.
Wow. Thank you SO much for your response. Let me start off by saying that I am so sorry your boyfriend passed away to this deadly virus. May he RIP I hope you are doing better and staying strong. I am also very proud of you for losing so much weight, you literally inspired me to keep going and doing better for myself. Especially because you have very serious medical conditions and you managed to keep going. Thank you for that, seriously. You are literally an inspiration! I have lost 5 pounds so far in the matter of two weeks by doing a calorie deficit and going on hikes at least 3 times a week. What is the MFP meal plan by the way?? What does that consist of? 1 -
What you also need to realize is that you can get all the encouragement, inspiration, etc. to do this, but unless YOU REALLY WANT TO, it doesn't really matter. You have to make the decision to really want this or it's just gonna a long battle.caseycanchola wrote: »I found I simply had to wait until the day I was motivated - and this took a few years to get to in my case but once I got there, I got there. I don't think there is a magic bullet, it is all down to you and how much you want this.
For me, that was nearly two years ago and while I have my tough days and I have even had a few off-days, motivation has never been an issue.
I want this. Do you?
I really do want this but, I legit give up so fast it is ridiculous. My boyfriend tries to motivate me so much but there are times where I need someone to really give me tough love so I can get it through my head that if I really want this, I need to keep going. So far I have lost 5 pounds and it has been motivating me to keep going so I can see more results. I know 5 pounds isn't much but it is has given me great motivation to keep going!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Thank you for stating this because I have never had anyone tell me this and it made me realize that I never really asked myself if I really want this. Back then I used to not care how I looked but, now I am literally getting depressed on what I see in the mirror. Crying about how I look and I never used to do this. I am starting to get fed up being this weight. This made me wake up and realize that you are right and that I do want this. It has been two weeks since I have starting my calorie deficit and so far it is going great cause I have lost 5 pounds just by the calorie deficit and going to hike about 3 times a week and getting my steps in 5 days a week. Thank you for telling me that.
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wunderkindking wrote: »I am not motivated. Motivation comes and goes, weight loss stops and sometimes reverses just due to, you know water and waste and hormones.
What I am is a creature of habit who takes the path of least resistance.
So, setting up my life to make the 'wrong' choices more difficult than the healthier one works. I put my running shoes on when I get up in the morning. I keep chips in preportioned ziplocks in the pantry upstairs with the canned food (meaning if i want them I have to hike up a flight of stairs to get them). I keep my candy, what of it there is, in the freezer - also upstairs and also frozen so I have to get it AND either eat slow because frozen or wait to thaw. I buy my groceries online so I'm not walking past impulse purchases and also where my previous purchases are across the bottom of my screen and it's easier to rebuy than find new, less healthy, things to eat.
If I relied on motivation I'd have quit 6 months ago.
If I relied on consistent results (not just daily but weekly or monthly) I'd have given up 4 times.
I've done neither.
I've leverged my fundamental laziness into habit changes to make what I'm doing now the easiest thing to do and that I can continue mindlessly forever.
I don't have an upstairs but the habits you made are pretty good ones. I don't like candy but putting chips in proportioned ziplocks is a good idea cause I like eating chips so this is a great alternative! I also do buy my groceries online as well for that exact same fact and also because of COVID, I don't want to go inside a store unless I really have to.2 -
caseycanchola wrote: »I found I simply had to wait until the day I was motivated - and this took a few years to get to in my case but once I got there, I got there. I don't think there is a magic bullet, it is all down to you and how much you want this.
For me, that was nearly two years ago and while I have my tough days and I have even had a few off-days, motivation has never been an issue.
I want this. Do you?
I really do want this but, I legit give up so fast it is ridiculous. My boyfriend tries to motivate me so much but there are times where I need someone to really give me tough love so I can get it through my head that if I really want this, I need to keep going. So far I have lost 5 pounds and it has been motivating me to keep going so I can see more results. I know 5 pounds isn't much but it is has given me great motivation to keep going!
Others have given you great advice. I just want to add one thing.
Pretty much all of us want to lose weight fast, and we're willing to go to extremes to do it: Cut out high calorie foods, adopt high levels of intense exercise, eat "healthy" foods we really don't love . . . those are some common examples. We maybe see that scale drop up front, and it's really motivating. Yay!
Sooner or later, that honeymoon tends to fade away. That's when a lot of people give up.
It varies, but "losing weight fast" can be a route to losing very slowly, maybe not at all, via stops and starts, maybe giving up altogether for long periods.
Sometimes losing weight slowly, by making manageable, even *easy* changes, and accepting smaller bits of scale progress, can actually be the fastest true route to reaching goal weight, and staying there. It lets a person figure out habits, like the ones @wunderkindking helpfully suggested above, that make the process easy as well as successful. Some other examples might be figuring out which foods you've always loved that you can eat in calorie-appropriate amounts, by adjusting portion size or frequency, rather than cutting them out entirely; or finding fun ways to move in daily life or for exercise, that are enjoyable and leave you feeling energized rather than exhausted and pained.
So, after that long ramble, the advice: Consider ways to make the weight loss process easy, while successful, rather than focusing on making the process fast. Consider habits that you can keep up long term, and be happy, while still losing some weight.
Weight management is a long-term proposition.
Best wishes!
3 -
caseycanchola wrote: »wunderkindking wrote: »I am not motivated. Motivation comes and goes, weight loss stops and sometimes reverses just due to, you know water and waste and hormones.
What I am is a creature of habit who takes the path of least resistance.
So, setting up my life to make the 'wrong' choices more difficult than the healthier one works. I put my running shoes on when I get up in the morning. I keep chips in preportioned ziplocks in the pantry upstairs with the canned food (meaning if i want them I have to hike up a flight of stairs to get them). I keep my candy, what of it there is, in the freezer - also upstairs and also frozen so I have to get it AND either eat slow because frozen or wait to thaw. I buy my groceries online so I'm not walking past impulse purchases and also where my previous purchases are across the bottom of my screen and it's easier to rebuy than find new, less healthy, things to eat.
If I relied on motivation I'd have quit 6 months ago.
If I relied on consistent results (not just daily but weekly or monthly) I'd have given up 4 times.
I've done neither.
I've leverged my fundamental laziness into habit changes to make what I'm doing now the easiest thing to do and that I can continue mindlessly forever.
I don't have an upstairs but the habits you made are pretty good ones. I don't like candy but putting chips in proportioned ziplocks is a good idea cause I like eating chips so this is a great alternative! I also do buy my groceries online as well for that exact same fact and also because of COVID, I don't want to go inside a store unless I really have to.
Yeah ,it isn't about doing those specific things. It's about, as Ann said, making the choices you want to make easier than the choices you don't. Willpower is a finite resource and so are motivation and excitement. Look at your life and figure out what makes doing the things you WANT to do to facilitate weight loss easier than, well, what you likely have defaulted to before now.
For me having to hike upstairs to get the chips, one portion at a time, dumping them into a bowl, and coming downstairs to eat them - and then having to go back up to return the bowl and wash the bowl - means I have to really want them to eat them. Having to do all that again (okay minus washing the bowl) means I almost never want the second bowl. if the bag of chips is RIGHT THERE with me on the couch, I'm going to keep eating because that's easier than returning them to their place in a cupboard.
The running shoes in the morning is because I HATE a-) wearing shoes b-) CHANGING shoes. I will let inertia rule me if I want around in slippers or socks. I'll just never put on the shoes. Once I've got not just outdoor shoes but running ones on, getting outside and DOING the run is easier than not - because I've done the dumb annoying part before I've left bed (and they ARE kept beside my bed) and I get to take my shoes off and wander around in slippers or socks the rest of the workday once I'm done. Inertia (just laze around the house because socks are great) turns into momentum (the shoes are on, may as well do it now) with the tiny little push of having already put the danged running sneakers on.
Both of those examples mean I only need ENOUGH willpower for about 2 seconds. Enough to put on shoes and to take one portion of chips and take the chips downstairs. Not all the willpower or motivation I'd need to make myself go on a run or stop eating a bag of chips, put it away and walk away from it.
They're just examples, though. I don't know what your life looks like or what kind of things you can build in, but the more you can do to have that happen, so you're not 'on a diet' or doing a thing with an end point but just living your life and going "THIS IS EASY" the *better*. Because when you hit maintenance? You're going to gain about a 3 apples worth of calories a day. That's it. No fireworks, no parades, no big celebration, no 'I CAN EAT WHATEVER NOW'. Just... 3 more apples worth of calories in your day.
So it's gotta be as mindless as you can make it.3 -
I disagree that motivation doesn't play a part in weight loss, but it's the TYPE of motivation that matters. We're all motivated to do things for different reasons. Even something as mundane as brushing our teeth, it's not that we do it just because we know we're supposed to do and our dentist told us to (an example of external motivation). It,". 's because we don't want our teeth to rot, get cavities, have smelly breath, etc. (an example of internal motivation).
For long-lasting behavior changes, we need internal motivation. It sounds like your motivation right now negative; meaning, you are depressed and don't feel good about how you look. What if you changed that into a positive thought? For example, "I want to change the way I eat and move so I have more energy, my clothes fit better, I can walk long distances without getting winded," etc."
Maybe make a list of the reasons why you want to lose weight, but framed in a positive way. Also, as others have already said, really ask yourself what changes you can commit to long-term. If you view this as a short-term or with the belief that you don't really think you can accomplish your goal--you won't. Changing our mindset and the way we view ourselves is huge in being able to accomplish something difficult. Also, accepting that it can be tough at times, that there will be setbacks and days you just want to eat all the things and be lazy (and maybe you do have days like that) can really help. I used to be stuck in "all-or-none" thinking. If I had a "not good" day that would be my excuse to say screw it and tell myself I'd start again on Monday.
Another thing that really helped me was focusing on eating better and moving more for my overall health and not just weight loss. For me, it was more important to focus on better-for-you foods and eating more of those and eating less of the not-as-good for you foods. That's not to say I don't have treats or make all lower-calorie versions of things--absolutely not! I don't deprive myself of anything, and tell myself I can have anything I want. If I do, though, I make adjustments for it during my day or even week.3 -
I think motivation - as in a reason to do things - is a good one but in this context it sounds like OP is looking for... being in drive, basically, if you'll forgive some dog terminology, here. She's looking for the *Feel* motivated. The "I AM ON FIRE AND I WILL CONQUEOR THE WORLD, I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THIS EVEN IF IT SUCKS AND IS PAINFUL BECAUSE I WANT IT SO MUCH".
That... isn't going to stick. Not for a lifetime. Not for something that is as slow and relatively lacking in immediate or frequent reward as weight loss. Especially not for something like maintaining where you get no... tangible reward except things staying as they are and cake is an immediate, tangible, reward.
Reasons though? Yeah, I agree we all need reasons that matter to us. Those tend to sick and reminding yourself of them is good.1 -
caseycanchola wrote: »I found I simply had to wait until the day I was motivated - and this took a few years to get to in my case but once I got there, I got there. I don't think there is a magic bullet, it is all down to you and how much you want this.
For me, that was nearly two years ago and while I have my tough days and I have even had a few off-days, motivation has never been an issue.
I want this. Do you?
I really do want this but, I legit give up so fast it is ridiculous. My boyfriend tries to motivate me so much but there are times where I need someone to really give me tough love so I can get it through my head that if I really want this, I need to keep going. So far I have lost 5 pounds and it has been motivating me to keep going so I can see more results. I know 5 pounds isn't much but it is has given me great motivation to keep going!
Others have given you great advice. I just want to add one thing.
Pretty much all of us want to lose weight fast, and we're willing to go to extremes to do it: Cut out high calorie foods, adopt high levels of intense exercise, eat "healthy" foods we really don't love . . . those are some common examples. We maybe see that scale drop up front, and it's really motivating. Yay!
Sooner or later, that honeymoon tends to fade away. That's when a lot of people give up.
It varies, but "losing weight fast" can be a route to losing very slowly, maybe not at all, via stops and starts, maybe giving up altogether for long periods.
Sometimes losing weight slowly, by making manageable, even *easy* changes, and accepting smaller bits of scale progress, can actually be the fastest true route to reaching goal weight, and staying there. It lets a person figure out habits, like the ones @wunderkindking helpfully suggested above, that make the process easy as well as successful. Some other examples might be figuring out which foods you've always loved that you can eat in calorie-appropriate amounts, by adjusting portion size or frequency, rather than cutting them out entirely; or finding fun ways to move in daily life or for exercise, that are enjoyable and leave you feeling energized rather than exhausted and pained.
So, after that long ramble, the advice: Consider ways to make the weight loss process easy, while successful, rather than focusing on making the process fast. Consider habits that you can keep up long term, and be happy, while still losing some weight.
Weight management is a long-term proposition.
Best wishes!
Thank you so much for your opinion! I appreciate you for taking the time to respond to me. So far I am doing good right now!
2 -
Speakeasy76 wrote: »I disagree that motivation doesn't play a part in weight loss, but it's the TYPE of motivation that matters. We're all motivated to do things for different reasons. Even something as mundane as brushing our teeth, it's not that we do it just because we know we're supposed to do and our dentist told us to (an example of external motivation). It,". 's because we don't want our teeth to rot, get cavities, have smelly breath, etc. (an example of internal motivation).
For long-lasting behavior changes, we need internal motivation. It sounds like your motivation right now negative; meaning, you are depressed and don't feel good about how you look. What if you changed that into a positive thought? For example, "I want to change the way I eat and move so I have more energy, my clothes fit better, I can walk long distances without getting winded," etc."
Maybe make a list of the reasons why you want to lose weight, but framed in a positive way. Also, as others have already said, really ask yourself what changes you can commit to long-term. If you view this as a short-term or with the belief that you don't really think you can accomplish your goal--you won't. Changing our mindset and the way we view ourselves is huge in being able to accomplish something difficult. Also, accepting that it can be tough at times, that there will be setbacks and days you just want to eat all the things and be lazy (and maybe you do have days like that) can really help. I used to be stuck in "all-or-none" thinking. If I had a "not good" day that would be my excuse to say screw it and tell myself I'd start again on Monday.
Another thing that really helped me was focusing on eating better and moving more for my overall health and not just weight loss. For me, it was more important to focus on better-for-you foods and eating more of those and eating less of the not-as-good for you foods. That's not to say I don't have treats or make all lower-calorie versions of things--absolutely not! I don't deprive myself of anything, and tell myself I can have anything I want. If I do, though, I make adjustments for it during my day or even week.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this! I do agree I have been very negative about myself. I will try to keep in mind that I am doing better for myself as you said. All of you guys have actually helped me out a lot with continuing my journey by being straight up and telling me how it is. I appreciate all of you. I am down to 6.6 pounds and hopefully I can continue going at this pace.3
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